So after reading over mbullette thread on not receiving full payment today.

Got me thinking??? Why does talking about $$ with parents make you feel so dirty/bad. I have two DCP's (separate families) that always say on paid days "Oh, I'll have your money at pick-up" instead of I'll have tuition when I pick-up" It just makes me feel dirty...

Anyone else feel like this? I totally what to address it...but I don't want to upset anyone.

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THIS is what I think the problem for most people is.

No one wants to upset anyone but yet they want to get paid.

Most providers seem to have one foot on each side and struggle with money.

I open up each and every morning KNOWING I provide a service and parents HAVE to pay for it.

I don't feel badly about it.
I don't mince words about it.
I don't have discussions about it.
I don't discount anything.
I don't worry about upsetting anyone.

I guess I simply put those feelings ONTO the parent.... I know that sounds confusing but I just try to look at it from a different angle....

I keep a professional demeanor and invoice parents weekly. I just keep my "business only" face on when it's pay day.

I NEVER negotiate or get into discussions about it.

I open, they pay. That's it.


I understand that provider's always worry about families leaving but honestly, do these families enroll thinking they can negotiate or continually discuss payments and the due dates for them?

If not, then you have to look at what gives them the idea that they can do those things....kwim?

What body language, what terminology, what words, actions or behaviors do YOU do that would maybe give parents the idea that rate/tuition is something they can discuss/negotiate with you?

If you don't give them any of those cues, then they should always be paying on time and in full.

That's just MY opinion on how it works and why I feel that "method" works for me.

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Why don't you respond back with, "Thank you! I appreciate you bringing your child's tuition check on time. "?

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I need your backbone!!!

Yea, honesty I have gotten better at it...the business side of childcare. I have turned a family away on Monday morning whom didn't have tuition about two weeks ago.

I'll get there soon enough!

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In a training I took once, the teacher told us that if you don't have a backbone by nature, then fake it.

People tend to naturally respect those who project a firm demeanor.

The 3 biggest key factors in faking it is

• 1) eye contact (make eye contact and keep it)
• 2) good posture (makes you feel better instantly)
• 3) ignore the silence (don't feel as though you have to automatically talk when there is that awkward silence. Let the other person fill it.)

Try these 3 tips for a week and see if you notice the difference in how people/parents treat you.

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I totally agree with BC, but it is something I also struggle with.

I hate asking for money, discussing late or short payments, etc.

I always feel embarrassed, and it truly is a pathetic feeling on my part. I need to grow a pair and stand up for myself!

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When I first started out and was not as financially secure as I am now I always had a hard time asking because I felt like I was showing that I needed the money right away, and that made me feel insecure.

Now that I don't actually need it right away I have no problem asking for it and never feel bad at all.

Weird, right?

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BC I would love to have taken some of the classes you mention. This advice you give is golden.

I learned in a sales class once, fake it until you make it!! Just like you said, but I was not able to do it when I transferred from sales to daycare. I think because I was always worried that if I made them upset, they would leave.

Now I could careless if I make them mad. It does take time to develop a firm backbone and you have done a great job at it.

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I think it's the overall mindset that we do daycare because we love children, not to make money, and if we REALLY loved children we wouldn't mind being underpaid, paid late, etc.

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Maybe that's my secret....I do daycare to make money.

The fun I have with the kids is just a perk.

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That's close to it...

From the parents pov: I think deep down inside many people believe that we shouldn't be paid for this. We should care for the children for free because we love kids andit's the right thing to do.

There's also the mindset that we are blessed to be graced with the child presence. The child is so precious that the parents are doing us a solid by allowing us to be with the child.

Another factor is that we are already home and we already have expenses to live where we live and their little one doesn't use up our resources. We have to pay for our resources whether their child is with us or not.

It's easy for us to care for the kids so we should be the ones to do it. We have abilities that come naturally to us that are fueled by love so we are the ones who should have the kids. Money isn't in that factor.

From the providers pov: They believe if they are strict with money the parents will leave. I don't know too many providers who... if absolutely guaranteed a full year of income on the slot whether the parents were compliant or not... would have ANY problem asking for their money and being strict.

It's the fear the parent will leave and income will be lost... and the slot which is hard to fill... will be left unfilled. There's NO other reason for providers to worry about being strict with money.

When it comes to money it's ALWAYS about money. You can think it's because you are shy... or don't like conflict... but the real bottom line is that you fear loss of money.

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Thank you for this post, I have gotten some good tips. I will be using them. I am over not being paid and I am at the point where I don't care if they leave. Go somewhere else and let them not pay you.

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I have had many parents throw temper tantrums over me demanding payment (with a smile but still firmly) prior to letting their child stay, but none have ever left my business. Eventually they build a bridge and get over it and we move on with life.

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I have gotten better but truthfully ihate always having to be on my guard. I have some dcp that pay wkly and some bi weekly and then my state pay client is reqiured (per my contract) to have her paymnt called in by 5 pm on friday weekly and give me the confirmation.
This week alone i had to send a reminder email for extra pay owed for a sa child that came when school was out. I mentioned it earlier in the week then truthfully forgot..they didnt pay and i always require prepaymnt...now they owe me. Also had to ask for 5$late pmnt today. We'll seeif they pay per my policies before Monday....just get sick of it! To top it off, my state pay didnt give me my conf# so she probably forgot to call it in...I will be charging her a late pmnt fee if she forgot....just get sick of babysitting these parents!

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I think some people have a hard time talking about money because:

1) They don't want to come off as greedy or desperate for money
2) In some causes they know that the family has money issues or feels sorry for the client due to other circumstances
3) We are often told from a very young age to never discuss money with others outside the family (that it's rude)- especially when it comes to asking for it, even when you earned it. So it becomes a deep seeded issue and becomes taboo.

With one mom I babysat for she was always late with paying me and I always felt bad for her because 1) she was a newly single mom {divorce} and 2) she was an obvious burn victim and was even missing a few fingers; my mom didn't help the issue by reminding me on how she was a single mom and I was always home alone because she couldn't afford a sitter. But eventually I started to grow a backbone but she skipped town before I could test it out. But at least now I have that experience to learn from before I start my business. I haven't had any payment issues with the families I have watched for since (so far).

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I have NO problem asking for payment, reminding about payment, asking for late fees. It's always akward, but I just stand there smiling until the parent fulfills their end of the contract. They contracted me for a service and agreed to pay a certain price for it, I performed that service, they pay.

I wouldn't think of it differently if I were a restaurant, or housekeeper, why child care?

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