My 5 1/2 year old daughter has behavior issues. She has been in therapy for 2 years and been to multiple different doctors for diagnoses. All come back with ADHD and ODD. We have been working with her. She does amazing at school it's just when she is at home and usually when other daycare kids are still here. She is much better when its just me, dad and brother. One DCM told me I need to get her tested for Autism because her anger issues look similar to one of her family members that has it. I personally haven't had much experience in autism. I know all parents say how smart their children are but she really is smart and her memory is better than mine! I am a little upset that a DCM said something like that. But im wondering what your experiences are with autism.

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My oldest is autistic and sounds to be very similar to your dd. He's very smart. Remembers everything. Has some behavior issues. Does best with just our family of 4. Likes the one on one.

There are so many variations of autism. They actually refer to autism as a spectrum and autistic children are often called "on the spectrum" since there are so many "degrees" or "forms" autism can take. It won't necessarily look the same from one individual to the next.

I'd be a little put off if another parent made that comment to me too. I'm sure they meant it in the best of intentions, just as we daycare providers do when we have to make recommendations or suggestions about our daycare children.

Also there is no clear cut testing to diagnose autism. We got our diagnosis after years of struggles and many evaluations done by several professionals.

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Autism has little to do with how smart or how good their memory is, unless they are very b low functioning. Most children with autism are very smart and their main issue is social. They have a hard time interacting with people dont make good eye contact and like routine. But everyone is different

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I have a cousin that is autistic but not all children with autism have anger issues. It sounds more like ADHD and ODD like you said but im not a expert.

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There are so many levels of Autism because it follows a spectrum. Children on the spectrum can come in many different forms from extreme and low functioning to barely noticeable. Generally they tend to have trouble in social situations but could act out in a lot of different ways. They tend to be extremely intelligent (and with great memories) and less severe forms could be considered intelligent with some behavior quirks. A lot of them tend to act out aggressively as well but from what I've seen those tend to be more severe with other issues going on as well like ODD. If you are concerned it would not hurt to get it looked into, as you already seem extremely willing to help dd in every way possible. Its also possible that DCM thought she was being helpful as Autism rates are growing and early intervention is the best thing you can do. Although, if she said it in a nasty snarky way I'd be having a talk with her. Good luck!

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The best thing you can do for your child is to have them tested, that way you know one way or the other. The higher level functioning autistic children that I know are VERY intelligent (i.e. reading at 3) but have social issues, sensory issues, problems following sequential directions...

Early intervention is best! Good luck! And if she is autistic, there are great resources out there now and I am sure you could find great help/therapies in your area.

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I can see why you are upset, but she is just trying to help.
It's worth looking into. You never know.

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sounds stupid, but sometimes its other people notice it before you do.

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Thank you. I had no idea! I really don't know much about it! With all the help she has seen could it go unnoticed for so long? I started to notice issues when she was 2. Her social skills are not like other children her age. She loves being with other kids in a small group but will absolutely be bossy and won't let anyone else be the leader. I just figured it was normal girl behavior. The last 2 years I have only had boys in my daycare!! The girls I have had previously were more shy. Would I talk to her pediatrician? Therapist? I was misdiagnosed my whole life. I was told I had depression for 15 years! 5 months ago I was correctly diagnosed with ADD and all my issues have been solved. So I know a misdiagnose can happen but I guess I figured that autism was something doctors picked up on early.

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My son has Asperger's (it is on the autism spectrum)

He has a really high IQ and is considered a genius.

His long term memory is impeccable and sometimes a little freaky....

He suffered from some major anger issues....I think due to the frustration levels some really smart people deal with.

My son seemed to have no issues with complex things but simple things were often difficult.... I think he over thinks things, thus the frustration and a lot of times frustration is exhibited as anger.

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Yes, In my experience very easily could have went unnoticed or rather undiagnosed. My son also is very bossy in a group. He's very by the book and if someone isn't following the rules to a tee he gets a little off his rocker trying to get everyone to do things the exact right way.

I would talk to your pediatrician, also talk to the school district. Our school district was actually the most influential in helping us find a diagnosis which then helped us get additional services within the school, etc.

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agree

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I have talked to her pediatrician. She is referring us to the University of Iowa. It's a very long drive for us but she said they are the best. So we will see!

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yay!

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Great, now I KNOW my 12 yo is an Aspie... No, seriously, the older he gets, the more obvious it is that he's atypical, but not so atypical as to get a diagnosis.

This year he is in a project based school and already he comes home smiling. It's day 4 today. Please, please, let this be right for him!

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Based on my own experience and from what I've read, that's not all that unusual. Also, from what I've read, it's not uncommon for kids to get misdiagnosed for years with things like ADHD and ODD before the correct one is given. My son has Asperger's and it took until he was almost 11 yrs old to be diagnosed. His pediatrician was a very well-respected dr in this area and he specialized in kids with special needs. He had cared for my son from infancy but totally missed any signs of autism in my son. When I told him I thought he had characteristics of AS during a consult appointment, he just about laughed me out of the office. After reading the 5 pages of notes I had given him about my observations, he called me that night to tell me my son needed to be evaluated.

We brought him to a few professionals for an official diagnosis. He was diagnosed with ADHD by one psychologist and ODD was mentioned by another. (I am somewhat familiar with ODD and there is no way that label fits my son.) A neuropsychologist diagnosed him with NLD. The therapist he's seen for years now diagnosed him with AS/NLD. This diagnosis seems to fit best. He does have some of the characteristics you mentioned in your dd: highly intelligent and incredible memory. His meltdowns happened when he was younger but were less about anger and more about frustration. He did have some control issues when he was younger.

If you haven't already, I'd suggest doing some reading about autism in general and Asperger's in particular - especially how it usually manifests itself in girls. If you find yourself nodding your head a lot as you read and saying something like, "OMG! Yes!" or "This sure explains a lot!", your dcm may be on to something. Good luck with the evaluation.

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Both autism and Asperger's (on the same spectrum) present differently in girls than in boys. One son was diagnosed very early. My dd was not really evident until she was 10 or so. We knew she was smart, we just didn't put the Asperger's together with that intelligence until later, because she was extremely social.
We didn't realize early on that what we saw as "extremely social" was not really social interaction at all. She talked to people, but she didn't really listen to anyone, unless they asked her a specific question, and even then, she might not actually answer the question, but would quote another interaction or encounter she had previously had.

Her conversation was single sided at best. She was smart enough to know that SOMETHING was supposed to be happening here to create this thing called "conversation" but she just didn't really care enough about what anyone else had to say to make it two way.

Another son still hasn't been officially diagnosed, but he is also highly intelligent, and very awkward socially. Prefers computers to people.
My youngest son has an alphabet soup of diagnoses, from ADD to Asperger's to SPD. Also prefers computers, and while he will talk to people, he prefers to do so over the computer, so if he gets tired of them, he can just unplug.

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These diagnosis' are based on evaluation and a parental questionnaire. I had my son tested because I thought he was an Aspie. He was diagnosed ADHD.
He has been asked on more than one occasion by College roommates if he is an Aspie.

One of the questions we were asked always comes to mind. "Is he ritualistic?" To which I responded Yes, my husband responded No.

I don't know - what does it matter? Unless you are determined to medicate, try all techniques and find what works best for your child. It's all trial and error and there is no perfect formula for every child.

DO keep note of foods consumed and reactions.

Gifted children do act up too and have high frustration levels.

I'm so very proud at how far my son has come although I think he still could use more practice with social skills.

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It matters because it helps the children (and you) understand the behaviors and work on getting from their point A (where they are) to their point B (where they want to be.)
My youngest was also not diagnosed with Asperger's the first time around. I think the medical profession is not ready to see many of the behaviors of Asperger's as "abnormal" because they might have to take a deeper look at their own behaviors..lol Have you ever noticed how many physicians and researchers are a bit quirky themselves? There is also no "drug" they can prescribe, though Mayo clinic did work with me to develop a supplement system to help support his brain.

If you have researched and learned about Asperger's and you believe he has it, chances are very high that he does. Only you can decide if that information is important enough to pursue. If he is doing fine in college, then there is probably not a problem right now.

I find my second oldest Aspie needs a bit more support and will call for things like recipes or to ask how he should respond to something a student or professor said to him, or if a certain behavior would be appropriate. He also gets stalled on high planning tasks, like when he had to move. We went to help guide him through that. His grades are outstanding, and he has many friends, so socially, he is doing ok.

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I hear you. Two of my boys can sit and discuss upper level quantum physics and its possible impact on several areas of science, but would have to call and ask me how to make the spaghetti they are eating.

Some of the frustration too, comes in the fact that they learn so much faster. One time, got it. They often don't need the repetition that other kids need, so they get bored...fast.

We homeschool, yet I could NEVER find the upper level for my dd. You reach for that place where they are not bored, but are not overly challenged. With an Aspie, that can be really hard to do.

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I agree - a diagnosis can insure that they get the help they need where they need it. I have told parents who are struggling with a new diagnosis that their kid is still the same kid but now they have a better road map in which to guide them-

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