Friend and Co-worker

[Pandaluver21]

I have had my program for over 13 years.* My bestfriend and Roommate has worked with me off and on over that time.* I have always struggled with being "in charge", when I was her friend first.* I, for the most part, am a very laid back person and in our general life I'm ok with her making most decisions and just kind of being along for the ride.* However, when it comes to my business I have a way I would like things done.* I am not a dictator, and ask her her opinion or take her ideas often. We discussed it at the beginning and she agrees that I am "in-charge" because it was my business and she has less experience with kids than I do.* My struggle is the times I will ask her to do something and she will huff and say "I guess"* or even "why do I have to do it?"* My other struggles are her on her computer.* I am on mine sometimes getting lessons printed out and whatnot.* I have said to her several times that I do not want her on her computer or phone for personal things.* I have looked over several times and she is scrolling through facebook or will tell me about an e-mail she got.* At first I would say something along the lines of "what are you doing?" and she would realize she was on it and close her computer.* I know it looks like I can be on my computer and she can't, but I am only on it for work related things and very rarely.* I opened up my phone the other day to update Daily Connect, and the game I had been playing the night before popped up as soon as I opened it.* She saw it and said "If I was playing a game during work you'd have something to say..."* I told her I wasn't playing it, it just popped up and she said "mhmm sure" in a joking manner.**
Let me clarify a bit, she is my BEST friend.* We have known each other for 18+ years and I don't know what I would do without her.* At every job she has had she does a phenomenal job.* She is almost always recognized in some capacity at every job.* She often gets raises and promotions and is one of the most hard working people I know.* I just feel like she doesn't think of her job with me the same way and I can't stand it.* I would never take the attitude or back sass she gives, from any other employee. I feel like any time I ask her to do something, or correct something she has done, or even ASK her why she did something a specific way, she ends up mad at me and nothing is accomplished.* Most is 'playing' but even that is not acceptable in a job.* I just don't know what else to do, if I bring it up she either apologizes, fixes it for a day, then goes back to before, or gets upset and everything is a struggle for a few days.* She is a sweet caring person, and I don't want to portray her as a horrible person, but I just don't know how to make sure our friendship doesn't get in the way of our job.* (and no, at the moment her getting another job is not an option)

Sorry for my rambling, I just don't know what to do. Has anyone else been in this position? (boss, coworker, or employee of a friend) If so, how did you handle it?

[Michael]

Hard for me to put myself in your shoes. I tend to be blunt. I think what she adds to your business far outweighs the other stuff. Those things you are upset about you should let slide at this point IMHO. They seem almost trivial to me since she enhances your business so much. Maybe she feels that you are not appreciating her and are being too rigid. Why not speak with her and change the dynamic? It may be a more enjoyable working environment and enhance you personal relationship with her.

[Pandaluver21]

Originally Posted by Michael

Hard for me to put myself in your shoes. I tend to be blunt. I think what she adds to your business far outweighs the other stuff. Those things you are upset about you should let slide at this point IMHO. They seem almost trivial to me since she enhances your business so much. Maybe she feels that you are not appreciating her and are being too rigid. Why not speak with her and change the dynamic? It may be a more enjoyable working environment and enhance you personal relationship with her.

I definitely appreciate that you said the underlined above, because I didn't want to paint it as she was a horrible person! I have talked with her often if there is anything I should do different and if anything she says things about just being consisive. She has told me as well as other people I'm her "favorite boss" So I don't think she's unhappy, but I do want to make sure I am not the problem in any way. I am pretty good at letting little things go, and have definitely done that in the past. The biggest reason I finally brought it up is because it has been CONSTANT lately. I know she is stressed, and that I'm sure has something to do with it escalating. (We are currently between houses and are living/running our program in a friends basement) So tensions are just higher than normal :P I would love to have some tips for being a "friends boss" as well as people who were the friend and get their opinion!

[Michael]

Friends and business usually never mix. You must have a great relationship.

[284878]

Have you posted this on the new forum?

https://forum.daycare.com, I think?