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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>So Frustrated...
Kabob 07:27 PM 11-16-2013
After much thought and reading these forums I decided I was shooting myself in the foot with my lax hours,policies, and rates so I sent out a letter with new contracts and handbooks this past week. I changed my hours from 6am to 6pm every day of the week to 7am to 5pm mondays through fridays. I changed my rate from a flat daily rate based on age to a rate based on scheduled pick up time. Most families except 1 only use 9 hours per day so I my base rate is based around a 9 hour day with a $5 increase per half hour up until 10 hours and then $5 per 15 minutes after 10 hours. The other families are thrilled because they get a rate decrease now if they pick up on time since they only use 9 hours but the 1 family is upset. The dcm emailed me a list of grievances regarding my new policies as she said she was looking forward to the rate decrease when dcg turned 2 and also she said she feels I'm unfairly giving a huge rate decrease to parents that pick up earlier than her (she typically uses almost 10.5 hours per day). She also is upset that I now no longer will be giving free days for days her daughter is sick because she has to use vacation time at work to care for her daughter when she is sick and then doesn't have time to do anything fun. And she doesn't like my new hours.

I get her issues. However. Everyone's rates work out to be exactly the same as before...the only big change is I'm rewarding families for picking up earlier than 10 hours and taking away freebies since people were abusing those days and others weren't even using them when they should be and caused a huge headache and dip in profit anyway. Furthermore, when I get sick (which has been often lately...I just am getting over the stomach flu) and have to close and can't care for my own child...my dh has to miss work without pay to stay home and help and I miss out on pay as well...for an illness caused by the very kids I care for...

I currently don't get paid vacation or sick days. She does AND she doesn't have to pay for daycare when her daughter is sick. I did this to encourage families to keep their sick kids home but they never used those days for that and just looked to use it to avoid paying me in the past (which is why I am taking it away). I work 11-12 hours a day while pregnant. I offer a well rounded program with quality meals. I have been way more flexible than I probably should have been. This contract fixes all that so that I can continue without burning out or burning through my wallet. Am I being fair? I realize she hasn't been abusing the system and follows all the rules so I understand she is upset as she feels I'm punishing her for something she didn't do. How can I communicate this to her? She is a great dcm but these long days have been tough lately...and I really don't want to continue working these long hours for a pay cut in the future.
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Cradle2crayons 07:41 PM 11-16-2013
Originally Posted by Kabob:
After much thought and reading these forums I decided I was shooting myself in the foot with my lax hours,policies, and rates so I sent out a letter with new contracts and handbooks this past week. I changed my hours from 6am to 6pm every day of the week to 7am to 5pm mondays through fridays. I changed my rate from a flat daily rate based on age to a rate based on scheduled pick up time. Most families except 1 only use 9 hours per day so I my base rate is based around a 9 hour day with a $5 increase per half hour up until 10 hours and then $5 per 15 minutes after 10 hours. The other families are thrilled because they get a rate decrease now if they pick up on time since they only use 9 hours but the 1 family is upset. The dcm emailed me a list of grievances regarding my new policies as she said she was looking forward to the rate decrease when dcg turned 2 and also she said she feels I'm unfairly giving a huge rate decrease to parents that pick up earlier than her (she typically uses almost 10.5 hours per day). She also is upset that I now no longer will be giving free days for days her daughter is sick because she has to use vacation time at work to care for her daughter when she is sick and then doesn't have time to do anything fun. And she doesn't like my new hours.

I get her issues. However. Everyone's rates work out to be exactly the same as before...the only big change is I'm rewarding families for picking up earlier than 10 hours and taking away freebies since people were abusing those days and others weren't even using them when they should be and caused a huge headache and dip in profit anyway. Furthermore, when I get sick (which has been often lately...I just am getting over the stomach flu) and have to close and can't care for my own child...my dh has to miss work without pay to stay home and help and I miss out on pay as well...for an illness caused by the very kids I care for...

I currently don't get paid vacation or sick days. She does AND she doesn't have to pay for daycare when her daughter is sick. I did this to encourage families to keep their sick kids home but they never used those days for that and just looked to use it to avoid paying me in the past (which is why I am taking it away). I work 11-12 hours a day while pregnant. I offer a well rounded program with quality meals. I have been way more flexible than I probably should have been. This contract fixes all that so that I can continue without burning out or burning through my wallet. Am I being fair? I realize she hasn't been abusing the system and follows all the rules so I understand she is upset as she feels I'm punishing her for something she didn't do. How can I communicate this to her? She is a great dcm but these long days have been tough lately...and I really don't want to continue working these long hours for a pay cut in the future.
You are being totally fair. To YOURSELF. Which you haven't bee doing. It's pretty normal for dcp to abuse us if we let them. And in the end, we have to do what works for US and OUR BUSINESS and OUR family.

I would explain its nothing personal and it wasn't done to make it harder for HER. It's to make it work better for YOU.

I'd simply let her know that if she doesn't want to stay, to remember she needs to give and pay for a two week notice and leave it at that. (If you do that in your contract ).

good for you for getting a backbone and doing what's best for YOU.
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e.j. 08:16 PM 11-16-2013
Originally Posted by Kabob:
I have been way more flexible than I probably should have been. This contract fixes all that so that I can continue without burning out or burning through my wallet. Am I being fair? I realize she hasn't been abusing the system and follows all the rules so I understand she is upset as she feels I'm punishing her for something she didn't do. How can I communicate this to her? She is a great dcm but these long days have been tough lately...and I really don't want to continue working these long hours for a pay cut in the future.
You can't be all things to all people. As owner of your day care business, you get to determine the policies that work best for you and your family. If it were me, I would tell her I read over her list of concerns and understand where she's coming from but that I feel the new policies are necessary since the original policies weren't working as well as I had hoped they would for me. I'd tell her that while I'd hate to see her go, I totally understand if she needs to find another provider whose policies work better for her. I would offer to provide a list of area providers and their contact info if she needs help finding someone else. Who knows? Once she has the chance to speak with other providers, she may decide your new policies aren't so bad after all! Good luck!
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Annalee 08:19 PM 11-16-2013
Awesome! When I first started charging 52 weeks a year regardless....I got some flack as will and I was very nervous about how to respond. Eventually it will get easier and you will feel so empowered because you are taking care of YOU!

My reply then and now when I get questioned is "I totally understand how you feel however this is how my child care program will run. If you feel the need to look elsewhere I will be happy to give you the child care website that will offer other services"...

I did lose one child in the beginning but she, too, wanted to come from open to close.... better for me when she moved on.

Good Luck!
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blandino 08:21 PM 11-16-2013
How could it possibly be unfair of you to give a decrease to parents who pick up earlier. They are using less of your services.

Using less = a lower rate.

The concept of fair needs to be defined for her (and a lot of other people).
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cheerfuldom 07:53 AM 11-17-2013
Don't explain or justify anything. Just re confirm that these are the new changes. you understand if your new setup no longer works for her and that you understand if she needs to find new care, just remind her of your exit policy and let her make that decision.
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JoseyJo 08:15 AM 11-17-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Don't explain or justify anything. Just re confirm that these are the new changes. you understand if your new setup no longer works for her and that you understand if she needs to find new care, just remind her of your exit policy and let her make that decision.

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Blackcat31 08:41 AM 11-17-2013
Seems like the ones that complain are the ones who use the most hours, expect the most from you and respect you the least.

Stand your ground. This mom sees this as unfair because it is unfair to HER.

She failed to realize that the way things were before were unfair to YOU.

YOUR business = YOUR rules.

She can go elsewhere if she doesn't like it.

The ONE thing I have learned from my 20+years in this business is you can't please everyone and having only 2 clients that respect you trumps having 20 clients that only view things from their perspective.

Hang in there.
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Kabob 08:44 AM 11-17-2013
Either way, she's going to have to deal with the changes...just frustrated she doesn't see it my way. Of course that's why these changes are happening. The families only care about themselves and don't care if I'm sick, tired, or being taken advantage of...they expect freebies and flexibility. I just wish I could tell dcm that if dcd bothered to pick up a half hour early each day instead of staying home they'd get that $5 discount she was looking for...I don't know how to say that without sounding as annoyed as I feel right now. It's an easy solution...just work out a schedule with her husband so that their child doesn't have to be in daycare for over 10 hours a day and they save money. But that requires work on her part not mine.

The free days aren't gonna happen...nobody in my area offers that except a center. I am not a center. I'm so frustrated she is being selfish. Sure she loses vacation days when her child is sick but she still gets paid. I lose both my pay and dh's pay if I get sick...at the very least my pay if ds gets sick....and usually these illnesses happen because this is my first year open and the kids carry illnesses or actually come here sick (my sick policy has become more strict too).

I feel better now...not replying to her email until Monday anyway...she emailed me on the weekend.
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Kabob 08:49 AM 11-17-2013
And thanks for all of your replies! It's scary starting out a new business so it helps having the advice and support. I can't believe how much I've learned in mere months.
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Cradle2crayons 08:52 AM 11-17-2013
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Either way, she's going to have to deal with the changes...just frustrated she doesn't see it my way. Of course that's why these changes are happening. The families only care about themselves and don't care if I'm sick, tired, or being taken advantage of...they expect freebies and flexibility. I just wish I could tell dcm that if dcd bothered to pick up a half hour early each day instead of staying home they'd get that $5 discount she was looking for...I don't know how to say that without sounding as annoyed as I feel right now. It's an easy solution...just work out a schedule with her husband so that their child doesn't have to be in daycare for over 10 hours a day and they save money. But that requires work on her part not mine.

The free days aren't gonna happen...nobody in my area offers that except a center. I am not a center. I'm so frustrated she is being selfish. Sure she loses vacation days when her child is sick but she still gets paid. I lose both my pay and dh's pay if I get sick...at the very least my pay if ds gets sick....and usually these illnesses happen because this is my first year open and the kids carry illnesses or actually come here sick (my sick policy has become more strict too).

I feel better now...not replying to her email until Monday anyway...she emailed me on the weekend.
Dear dcm,
I understand you are frustrated with the new policies, however, they have been put in place to make taking care of ALL of the children and MYSELF much easier. Some of the parents have figured out, between both parents, how to make their pick up times earlier, thus saving them a little money. Maybe that's an option for you guys also? If so, please let me know and your rate can reflect the earlier pick up.

Thanks,
Daycare provider


Personally, I would let her figure it out for herself, but if she's a good dcp otherwise but severely lacks problem solving skills, you could respond accordingly.
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Kabob 08:58 AM 11-17-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
Dear dcm,
I understand you are frustrated with the new policies, however, they have been put in place to make taking care of ALL of the children and MYSELF much easier. Some of the parents have figured out, between both parents, how to make their pick up times earlier, thus saving them a little money. Maybe that's an option for you guys also? If so, please let me know and your rate can reflect the earlier pick up.

Thanks,
Daycare provider


Personally, I would let her figure it out for herself, but if she's a good dcp otherwise but severely lacks problem solving skills, you could respond accordingly.
I don't know if she lacks problem solving skills or hates change. She likes working long hours so she can have more time off and her husband likes not dealing with drop off or pick up. Maybe if she really wants to stay she'll make him help...maybe a little nudge is what they need.
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Cradle2crayons 08:59 AM 11-17-2013
Originally Posted by Kabob:
I don't know if she lacks problem solving skills or hates change. She likes working long hours so she can have more time off and her husband likes not dealing with drop off or pick up. Maybe if she really wants to stay she'll make him help...maybe a little nudge is what they need.
Maybe so!!!! A nudge or a kick?? Lol.
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Cat Herder 09:02 AM 11-17-2013
Originally Posted by Kabob:
The dcm emailed me a list of grievances regarding my new policies

1. was looking forward to the rate decrease when dcg turned 2

2. feels I'm unfairly giving a huge rate decrease to parents that pick up earlier than her

3. she has to use vacation time at work to care for her daughter when she is sick and then doesn't have time to do anything fun.

4. she is upset as she feels I'm punishing her for something she didn't do.


How can I communicate this to her?
I would think Mommy is being a big baby herself.

1. The food, toy, curriculum, art supply and wear/tear costs go up, not down, at the age of two. "Get a grip Mommy."

2. They use fewer hours. Kids need more time with parents. You reward parents who made the sacrifices to spend more time with their kids. "Simple math, Mommy."

3. Boo hoo.... Nobody ever said being a mother was fun. "It is your child, Mommy."

4. She chose to have a child, put that child in daycare and take a job with long hours. Having children is not mandatory. Nobody forced it on her. She is not special. "We all make sacrifices to have kids, Mommy."

** I am paraphrasing, of course. I'd recommend softening up the delivery, but the context is dead on.
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Laurel 09:51 AM 11-17-2013
Maybe if you like her a lot and want to explain (not that you have to) you could say something like this.

Dear DCM,

I enjoy having your child here and have appreciated that you have always followed the rules. However, my previous policies did not work for me. It is nothing personal against you I assure you.

Just like in any other business if one uses more hours it will cost more. Would dad be willing to pick up to help you out and cut costs?

I don't get paid when I take a sick day and my husband loses a day's pay when he has to stay home to help me out so obviously this is not working out for us. I'm sure you can understand.

My new contract is more in line with the policies that other daycare's use. You might want to call around and see for yourself to make yourself feel better. I have to be fair to myself as well as to my families. I hope this clears up the reasons for my decision.

Sincerely, Your DCP
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Meyou 02:30 AM 11-18-2013
"I sympathize with your concerns and I understand my new policies might not work for every family. Let me know by xx date if you wish to give notice or sign a new contract under the new terms."

Agree with them and repeat your intent. Works every time for me.

ETA: I did this a few years ago with my families and although it was stressful at the time, it was the best decision I've ever made. I made a comfortable stressfree living now and I never talk about money with my families unless they want an extra day added to their schedule and that is only a reminder to tack on the extra payment. I had one family give me a horrible time and ultimately I had to term them within the year for policy violations. Worth it! Totally worth it!
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Play Care 03:19 AM 11-18-2013
I am sorry that she is giving you a hard time. I would caution you NOT to feel the need to try to explain so she will see your side - she won't. Not only that, anything you say can and will be used against you for other rounds of more arguing and complaining. I know it's so hard, because I always feel like "if I just explain it the *right* way, they will see my side." I like to think it's because I'm an educated, open minded person who is willing to consider the other side now and then But the truth is *most* people don't care for the explanation. If it's inconvenient for them, they will never come around.
I would stick with the "The other policies did not work for me and my family. One of the benefits of being my own boss is being able to change things that don't work (I LOVE using this point, it's pretty eye opening to parents ). I will miss DCK but completely understand if you need to give your notice. Keep in mind, that I will need the signed contract in order to keep the spot for dck, otherwise I'll need to fill it with another family. Thanks!" Okay, maybe someone can suggest some nicer wording, but you get the gist.
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Laurel 04:27 AM 11-18-2013
Oh, don't get me wrong. I would send my above note back in email. Well I don't do emails but if I did.

If they tried to argue in any way, I would just say "Sorry, the previous policies did not work and I am changing them." If they say something again, I would say "Sorry, the previous policies did not work and I am changing them." Rinse and Repeat. It is called the 'broken record technique'.....

They would not be arguing with me and I wouldn't allow them to try and wear me down. If they try, they can leave. Simple as that.

Just to be clear.

I would just start off with one kind and reasonable response and then do the above.

Laurel
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nannyde 04:34 AM 11-18-2013
Originally Posted by Meyou:
"I sympathize with your concerns and I understand my new policies might not work for every family. Let me know by xx date if you wish to give notice or sign a new contract under the new terms."

Agree with them and repeat your intent. Works every time for me.

ETA: I did this a few years ago with my families and although it was stressful at the time, it was the best decision I've ever made. I made a comfortable stressfree living now and I never talk about money with my families unless they want an extra day added to their schedule and that is only a reminder to tack on the extra payment. I had one family give me a horrible time and ultimately I had to term them within the year for policy violations. Worth it! Totally worth it!
This

I tell them at the interview that I never discuss money again unless they want a schedule change that will affect the money. They must give a months notice if it decreases my money and the schedule must be approved.

I go years in between discussing money. It is normal for early departure kids to have parents who move up in the profession and start needing a later work schedule but the cost is much higher so they only do that when they can make more for the change.

I don't offer free days for anything. They pay same rate 52 weeks a year. I don't allow late pick ups so I don't have to do late fees. They pay on Friday for the upcoming week in advance.

The less you have to talk about money the less stressful your work is.
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Kabob 04:41 PM 11-18-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
Maybe so!!!! A nudge or a kick?? Lol.
This made me laugh, thank you!

Laurel, thanks for the idea for the reply.

I ended up sending her a brief email saying I understand her concerns, however it is what it is (I said it more nicely than that but you get the meaning).

At least if I have to fill the spot, I have better policies in place now and I have a better eye for the "right fit." Not perfect. Just better. I'll get the hang of it...it's just frustrating when you think you thought out every potential issue that may come up and then something new comes up. Like, I never thought a dcm would send her kid to daycare the day after surgery without telling me up front about it. Or, I never thought a dcm would tell me to give her child prescribed meds because she "didn't like doing it." Really...it's not just new policies and rates I've developed...it's a new perspective on this whole business.

I feel like I was so stupid only 5 months ago when I first wrote these darn policies and rates.
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Cradle2crayons 05:59 PM 11-18-2013
Originally Posted by Kabob:
This made me laugh, thank you!

Laurel, thanks for the idea for the reply.

I ended up sending her a brief email saying I understand her concerns, however it is what it is (I said it more nicely than that but you get the meaning).

At least if I have to fill the spot, I have better policies in place now and I have a better eye for the "right fit." Not perfect. Just better. I'll get the hang of it...it's just frustrating when you think you thought out every potential issue that may come up and then something new comes up. Like, I never thought a dcm would send her kid to daycare the day after surgery without telling me up front about it. Or, I never thought a dcm would tell me to give her child prescribed meds because she "didn't like doing it." Really...it's not just new policies and rates I've developed...it's a new perspective on this whole business.

I feel like I was so stupid only 5 months ago when I first wrote these darn policies and rates.
Truth be told, policies are a work in progress. Every year I figure out more than one thing I need to tweak based on things that come up here and there.

This forum is an excellent place to get new ideas. Unfortunately, we can never know every potential issue. I swear these dcp get weirder every year lol
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Laurel 07:09 AM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by Kabob:
This made me laugh, thank you!

Laurel, thanks for the idea for the reply.

I ended up sending her a brief email saying I understand her concerns, however it is what it is (I said it more nicely than that but you get the meaning).

At least if I have to fill the spot, I have better policies in place now and I have a better eye for the "right fit." Not perfect. Just better. I'll get the hang of it...it's just frustrating when you think you thought out every potential issue that may come up and then something new comes up. Like, I never thought a dcm would send her kid to daycare the day after surgery without telling me up front about it. Or, I never thought a dcm would tell me to give her child prescribed meds because she "didn't like doing it." Really...it's not just new policies and rates I've developed...it's a new perspective on this whole business.

I feel like I was so stupid only 5 months ago when I first wrote these darn policies and rates.
You're welcome.

It is sure a learning experience!

Laurel
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Heidi 07:30 AM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
This

I tell them at the interview that I never discuss money again unless they want a schedule change that will affect the money. They must give a months notice if it decreases my money and the schedule must be approved.

I go years in between discussing money. It is normal for early departure kids to have parents who move up in the profession and start needing a later work schedule but the cost is much higher so they only do that when they can make more for the change.

I don't offer free days for anything. They pay same rate 52 weeks a year. I don't allow late pick ups so I don't have to do late fees. They pay on Friday for the upcoming week in advance.

The less you have to talk about money the less stressful your work is.
Nan-

How do you handle you own sick days, vacation, and personal days?
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