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  #1  
Old 03-04-2020, 11:23 AM
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Default Is My 12 Month Old Ready for Daycare?

My 12 month old just started daycare at KinderCare part time (8:30-11:30) two weeks ago after spending a year with me at home. Just started letting him stay for naptime (12-2:30pm) yesterday.

He fought the workers quite a bit, but eventually they were able to get him to sleep for about half an hour (He normally sleeps 2 hrs).

He is still crying badly at drop off and pickup, but does pretty ok during the day, and hasn't cried too much since the first two days)


I'm just worried that because he hasn't started walking yet (just cruising) and still nurses to sleep half the time, and is a contact napper at home, that this adjustment is too much. How do I know if he is ready?
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Old 03-04-2020, 11:58 AM
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Do you need Daycare because you work?If the answer is yes then you need to prepare him for group care. That would mean teaching him to sleep alone,stopping nursing to sleep ect. If you do not work ,why send him.There are plenty of ways to socialize without sending him to group care.He is to young for "preschool".
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Old 03-04-2020, 12:01 PM
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I'm planning on going back to work - taking interviews atm.

I'm still working on keeping thing consistent at home, but honestly nap time is a real struggle at home, and I'm not interesting in trying the cio method I have only managed to get him to sleep without rocking or nursing a couple of times, and that was when he was beyond exhausted.
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Old 03-04-2020, 12:56 PM
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Originally Posted by gammerus View Post
I'm planning on going back to work - taking interviews atm.

I'm still working on keeping thing consistent at home, but honestly nap time is a real struggle at home, and I'm not interesting in trying the cio method I have only managed to get him to sleep without rocking or nursing a couple of times, and that was when he was beyond exhausted.
Honestly you can't really expect a group care provider to do what you've been doing in order to get your child to nap.
It's simply not realistic.

Even in a center with multiple staff members they aren't equipped to manage that type of individualized need.

Have you considered hiring a nanny instead?
It might be a better way to go so that your child isn't suddenly faced with a routine he absolutely does not understand.

If attending child care is your goal, I would definitely start working towards teaching your child how to sleep without being rocked or held.

Too many parents do not provide their child the tools they need to thrive in care. The child is usually the one to suffer the fall out when this happens.
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Old 03-04-2020, 04:40 PM
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I'm not expecting them to do what I do. That simply isn't plausible. I'm just looking for advice to make this work.
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Old 03-04-2020, 05:09 PM
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I'm not expecting them to do what I do. That simply isn't plausible. I'm just looking for advice to make this work.
You will have to do the work of allowing your child to learn to self soothe. Place him on his back, in a crib, with no toys or blankets when he looks tired. Allow him to cry if he needs to.

You may comfort him without picking him up, then walk away. Each time taking longer and longer before you comfort him until he learns to comfort himself. Graduated extinction. At 12 months he should be transitioning to a nap mat, but most will give you a little leeway there until closer to 2.

The number of times you pick him up and give in is the number of times he will have to CIO in daycare while they tend to other kids. If that number is too high and he is disrupting the other children's sleep, he may no longer have daycare.

We can't allow one child to continually disrupt other children because he never learned to self-soothe at home. That is a parental responsibility. We have to terminate the contract for the good of the group.
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Old 03-05-2020, 06:02 AM
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I'm not expecting them to do what I do. That simply isn't plausible. I'm just looking for advice to make this work.
I'm sorry but other than what Cat Herder said below, there is no other advice to give....

There are no magic tricks or secrets to this other than teaching him through a process of steps to self sooth.
This WILL involve crying and resistance on his part.

Basically, the CIO method which you said (earlier) you had no interest in doing so I'm sorry we can't provide the answer you are looking for.

Your son has had one routine for a year now, it's not going to change over night and may take months before he is able to form a new routine.
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Old 03-06-2020, 10:48 AM
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I agree with what the other posters said. But I will also add, why not let him experience a whole day or two at daycare to see how he does? Perhaps the excitement, activity, and routine of daycare will make him tired enough to actually fall asleep on his own. As parents, we always want to shelter our kids from experiencing discomfort. But discomfort, new routines and challenges, and new environments are a part of life. We have to let them experience it for them to grow. He will be fine for a day. If it goes totally awful, it was only one day, and then you will know you have some work to do at home to teach him how to be ok without you from time to time.
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Old 03-07-2020, 08:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
My 12 month old just started daycare at KinderCare part time (8:30-11:30) two weeks ago after spending a year with me at home. Just started letting him stay for naptime (12-2:30pm) yesterday.

He fought the workers quite a bit, but eventually they were able to get him to sleep for about half an hour (He normally sleeps 2 hrs).

He is still crying badly at drop off and pickup, but does pretty ok during the day, and hasn't cried too much since the first two days)


I'm just worried that because he hasn't started walking yet (just cruising) and still nurses to sleep half the time, and is a contact napper at home, that this adjustment is too much. How do I know if he is ready?
He needs his own adult all day every day. Putting him in a group will mean he has to share an adult. It wonít work.

When he can be put to bed wide awake and go to sleep without nursing to sleep and sleep a couple of hours with lights on and noise from the room, he will show you he is ready.

When he can entertain himself on the floor and not need an adult to hold him, walk him, and rock him during awake times, he will show you he is ready.

Heís not unique. Babies who have one to one care wherein they have an adult who hosts there sleep and play then require it to sleep and play. Itís easy math. You want him to not cry and you do whatever you can to make sure he doesnít. Thatís your mom gig. Itís all good. He just needs a mom to keep it up and he wonít have that at daycare.
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1 year old, attachment parenting problems, graduated extinction, parent - its a verb, parental responsibility, parents - are helpless, preparing children for school, soother

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