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Old 03-10-2020, 09:08 AM
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tenderhearts tenderhearts is offline Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: HI
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Default Advise---Help

I have a dcg who is 4 yrs old, she started with me when she was 2. She has always had some issues with sharing but nothing out of the ordinary I would say. She hadn't been here for about 6 months due to my temporary closure and she was going to a center during that time. She has been back for a month now and her sharing and being nice to her friends is way worse now. She in general is a sweet girl but man she has been mean to her friends, it's a quiet mean, she will purposely pick up a toy she knows someone is still playing with, she has kicked (not hard) but still and she says it's because she wanted something they had, she will take something and will not give it back and says she wants it. I have talked with her numerous times about this, her parents and they talk to her. I don't know what happened at the other daycare where it got worse or if it is just her. I love this little girl and her family but others don't want to play with her because she gets mean, basically she's a bully. Any advise?
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Old 03-10-2020, 11:09 AM
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Ariana Ariana is online now
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Talking at this age won’t do too much. She needs to be shadowed and you need to intervene with lots of modeling behaviour like she is a toddler. Give her the right words to use “can I have that when you are finished with it” etc. Some kids use this kind of aggression as well when they do not know how to ask to be included in play. They will come and grab a toy as a dysfunctional way of being included. You can also give her the words to ask to be included in play to replace the aggression. “That looks like fun, can I play too”. Sometimes kids just don’t know how to use words or become involved in play positively.
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Old 03-10-2020, 11:10 AM
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Snowmom Snowmom is offline Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: USA
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Anytime toy hoarding happens here, they lose that toy for the day. That tends to work well for the kids 3 yrs +.

Unfriendly play= their own separate space (also known as the "baby" space!). Gradually, they earn the large play space back with better behavior. They definitely don't like being in the "baby's" space.
Full disclosure- I only take 1 yr and older, so there isn't any babies in that space at the same time.
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Old 03-11-2020, 04:24 PM
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Jo123ABC Jo123ABC is online now Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
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Instant time out here. No warnings if it's an ongoing issue like yours. Every time she's mean. It's time out, even if it's 20xs a day. She'll get sick of sitting out and losing privileges/toys all the time. I always tell kids why they're going in time out and remind them again when time out is over.
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4 year old, anger, bad behavior, escalation, sharing

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