Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Is It That Time Of Year?
Country Kids 06:58 AM 09-29-2011
OK, I have noticed many threads lately, including my own about having problems with children and parents. Is it because of weather changing, school starting up again, less playtime outside, etc? I know this week has just not been the best for me and I am trying different things but this has been the first year I have really, really, not been into doing childcare. Alot of it has to do with behavior of the kids. Love all the parents and kids but not the uncontrollable behavior I am seeing. I am getting the feeling like they know all they will get is "quiet time" and its not big deal so why not go back to the behavior when they get out. It is really starting to wear me at!
Michael 02:15 PM 09-29-2011
I think what the children are experiencing at home, like a bad economy, shows up in their behavior. Sometimes when things are tough at home it is also stressful for the children. Not that they comprehend what is going on but the energy between parents that are struggling has to make an impression. Just my two cents. 
Country Kids 02:21 PM 09-29-2011
Very true! It just seems like there are alot of posts about alot of children this week struggling with behavior, not eating, sleeping, playing. This week there just seems to be a boom of these type of posts, more than usual.
Heidi 03:04 PM 09-29-2011
My dh and I believe that parents are just raising their children differently now-a-days. There have always been "spoiled" children, but we have noticed a trend in both the way our grandchildren and many of the dc kids are being raised.
Seems like no one wants to hurt a child's feelings anymore, ever. They don't want their child to cry, ever. Thing's like "no cry parenting", seem to mean "no boundry parenting". That may not be the intention of the technique, I am not exactly knowledgable on the subject.
We watch our daughter negotiate everything with her 4 yo son, and I watch one of my dc mom's chase her daughter around the yard, and mom is laughing! Oh...isn't that cute...NOT! Get your butt in the car, kiddo!
I am not suggesting we should disregard our children's feelings or treat them like they don't count. But, I think children need boundries, and that it is our job as parents to enforce those boundries.
I explain things to my kids when I CHOOSE to explain them, otherwise, the answer is "because I am your mother, and I said so" that should be good enough.
It's the brick wall vs. jelly fish....my feeling is that parents need to be somewhere in between.
That's my 2 cent's worth...
Seems like no one wants to hurt a child's feelings anymore, ever. They don't want their child to cry, ever. Thing's like "no cry parenting", seem to mean "no boundry parenting". That may not be the intention of the technique, I am not exactly knowledgable on the subject.
We watch our daughter negotiate everything with her 4 yo son, and I watch one of my dc mom's chase her daughter around the yard, and mom is laughing! Oh...isn't that cute...NOT! Get your butt in the car, kiddo!
I am not suggesting we should disregard our children's feelings or treat them like they don't count. But, I think children need boundries, and that it is our job as parents to enforce those boundries.
I explain things to my kids when I CHOOSE to explain them, otherwise, the answer is "because I am your mother, and I said so" that should be good enough.
It's the brick wall vs. jelly fish....my feeling is that parents need to be somewhere in between.
That's my 2 cent's worth...
Cat Herder 03:19 PM 09-29-2011
We refer to it as "Affair Season" around here (late summer/early fall). Seems to happen this time every year with at least one family (over many years)....
Not to mention in the domestic violence section of the police blotter.Less interest in what is going on with their child, less respect for my time/policies, less consistency at home etc. generally result because of that.
themoorethemerrier 03:27 PM 09-29-2011
I think I've been experiencing the change of weather - physically these headaches are wicked and it's really wearing me out emotionally. I had to take a few minutes today to lock myself in the bathroom or else I was going to start yelling...
I am so looking forward to have another adult to bounce off...
I am so looking forward to have another adult to bounce off...
Gigi 10:39 PM 09-29-2011
The fall/ winter months certainly brings out some gloomy, melancholic feeling in each of us sometimes... And it transcends to our kids unfortunately - they can feel the weight of their parents feelings... And add to that the kind of parenting of trying to "give" and "understand" our kids sometimes... Kids can get stressed out too.
Just my thought...
Just my thought...
MissAnn 03:50 AM 09-30-2011
Originally Posted by bbo:
My dh and I believe that parents are just raising their children differently now-a-days. There have always been "spoiled" children, but we have noticed a trend in both the way our grandchildren and many of the dc kids are being raised.
Seems like no one wants to hurt a child's feelings anymore, ever. They don't want their child to cry, ever. Thing's like "no cry parenting", seem to mean "no boundry parenting". That may not be the intention of the technique, I am not exactly knowledgable on the subject.
We watch our daughter negotiate everything with her 4 yo son, and I watch one of my dc mom's chase her daughter around the yard, and mom is laughing! Oh...isn't that cute...NOT! Get your butt in the car, kiddo!
I am not suggesting we should disregard our children's feelings or treat them like they don't count. But, I think children need boundries, and that it is our job as parents to enforce those boundries.
I explain things to my kids when I CHOOSE to explain them, otherwise, the answer is "because I am your mother, and I said so" that should be good enough.
It's the brick wall vs. jelly fish....my feeling is that parents need to be somewhere in between.
That's my 2 cent's worth...
This is so true! And the kids pick up on it so fast! The crying kid at drop off.....and mom frets....and kid knows mom is fretting...and the more attention drawn to it....the worse it gets. And what does kid say 2 seconds after the door closes? What are we having for breakfast? My dh and I believe that parents are just raising their children differently now-a-days. There have always been "spoiled" children, but we have noticed a trend in both the way our grandchildren and many of the dc kids are being raised.
Seems like no one wants to hurt a child's feelings anymore, ever. They don't want their child to cry, ever. Thing's like "no cry parenting", seem to mean "no boundry parenting". That may not be the intention of the technique, I am not exactly knowledgable on the subject.
We watch our daughter negotiate everything with her 4 yo son, and I watch one of my dc mom's chase her daughter around the yard, and mom is laughing! Oh...isn't that cute...NOT! Get your butt in the car, kiddo!
I am not suggesting we should disregard our children's feelings or treat them like they don't count. But, I think children need boundries, and that it is our job as parents to enforce those boundries.
I explain things to my kids when I CHOOSE to explain them, otherwise, the answer is "because I am your mother, and I said so" that should be good enough.
It's the brick wall vs. jelly fish....my feeling is that parents need to be somewhere in between.
That's my 2 cent's worth...
I have a "stern voice" when I need it. Some of my kids never hear that stern voice from their parents. Instead they hear a whiney voice....Little Johnny, Cooooome on....we neeeeeeeed to gooooooo!
Or the parent who threatens. I actually had a dad start to pull of his belt to whip his kid. I told him he may not do that here. Then he winks at me. Just another empty threat
Kaddidle Care 04:03 AM 09-30-2011
Originally Posted by bbo:
My dh and I believe that parents are just raising their children differently now-a-days. There have always been "spoiled" children, but we have noticed a trend in both the way our grandchildren and many of the dc kids are being raised.
Seems like no one wants to hurt a child's feelings anymore, ever. They don't want their child to cry, ever. Thing's like "no cry parenting", seem to mean "no boundry parenting". That may not be the intention of the technique, I am not exactly knowledgable on the subject.
We watch our daughter negotiate everything with her 4 yo son, and I watch one of my dc mom's chase her daughter around the yard, and mom is laughing! Oh...isn't that cute...NOT! Get your butt in the car, kiddo!
I am not suggesting we should disregard our children's feelings or treat them like they don't count. But, I think children need boundries, and that it is our job as parents to enforce those boundries.
I explain things to my kids when I CHOOSE to explain them, otherwise, the answer is "because I am your mother, and I said so" that should be good enough.
It's the brick wall vs. jelly fish....my feeling is that parents need to be somewhere in between.
That's my 2 cent's worth...
Where's the "like" button! My dh and I believe that parents are just raising their children differently now-a-days. There have always been "spoiled" children, but we have noticed a trend in both the way our grandchildren and many of the dc kids are being raised.
Seems like no one wants to hurt a child's feelings anymore, ever. They don't want their child to cry, ever. Thing's like "no cry parenting", seem to mean "no boundry parenting". That may not be the intention of the technique, I am not exactly knowledgable on the subject.
We watch our daughter negotiate everything with her 4 yo son, and I watch one of my dc mom's chase her daughter around the yard, and mom is laughing! Oh...isn't that cute...NOT! Get your butt in the car, kiddo!
I am not suggesting we should disregard our children's feelings or treat them like they don't count. But, I think children need boundries, and that it is our job as parents to enforce those boundries.
I explain things to my kids when I CHOOSE to explain them, otherwise, the answer is "because I am your mother, and I said so" that should be good enough.
It's the brick wall vs. jelly fish....my feeling is that parents need to be somewhere in between.
That's my 2 cent's worth...
Yes, yes, what she said!
MissAnn 05:24 AM 09-30-2011
I think parents are afraid of their kids....afraid of upsetting them. Afraid they will feel sad, disappointed, angry....all will do whatever it takes to have their children avoid having to deal with such emotions. Thing is, how will they handle disappointment, anger and sadness at appropriate times? Are we not emotionally bubble wrapping kids and thus hindering their emotional development?
Heidi 06:30 AM 09-30-2011
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
I think parents are afraid of their kids....afraid of upsetting them. Afraid they will feel sad, disappointed, angry....all will do whatever it takes to have their children avoid having to deal with such emotions. Thing is, how will they handle disappointment, anger and sadness at appropriate times? Are we not emotionally bubble wrapping kids and thus hindering their emotional development?
some people have the ability to say what I meant to say in so many fewer words! I think parents are afraid of their kids....afraid of upsetting them. Afraid they will feel sad, disappointed, angry....all will do whatever it takes to have their children avoid having to deal with such emotions. Thing is, how will they handle disappointment, anger and sadness at appropriate times? Are we not emotionally bubble wrapping kids and thus hindering their emotional development?
Kaddidle Care 09:06 AM 09-30-2011
Kind of reminds me of Dudley getting his Birthday Presents:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hiD3...eature=related
"36? But last year there were 37!!!"
The Mother's reaction is exactly as described above.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hiD3...eature=related
"36? But last year there were 37!!!"
The Mother's reaction is exactly as described above.
Blackcat31 09:09 AM 09-30-2011
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
I think parents are afraid of their kids....afraid of upsetting them. Afraid they will feel sad, disappointed, angry....all will do whatever it takes to have their children avoid having to deal with such emotions. Thing is, how will they handle disappointment, anger and sadness at appropriate times? Are we not emotionally bubble wrapping kids and thus hindering their emotional development?
Alot of it has to do with parents measuring themselves by the behavior of their children. When their child is behaving poorly, they somehow think it means they are bad parents. I think parents are afraid of their kids....afraid of upsetting them. Afraid they will feel sad, disappointed, angry....all will do whatever it takes to have their children avoid having to deal with such emotions. Thing is, how will they handle disappointment, anger and sadness at appropriate times? Are we not emotionally bubble wrapping kids and thus hindering their emotional development?
I have a sign posted by my parent board that says, "The behavior of your child is NOT a reflection on your parenting. How you handle that behavior is."
Heidi 09:09 AM 09-30-2011
Yep...3 yo had to open all her bday presents on the day before her birthday because 2 days of presents would be "too hard" on the 4 yo!
MissAnn 09:25 AM 09-30-2011
I had a parent one time count all the pictures I had of all the kids I posted on FB.....then compared and told me there were less of her son. He was PART TIME! She also said he was not smiling in the pictures. I told her to look again.....he was engaged....most kids when interested and engaged do not have a big goofy smile on their face. I am not kidding.....she had written a HUGE email about all of her concerns. She also walked in and "caught" me teaching her child how to tie his shoes......she said....it is not conducive for a 4 year old to tie his shoes. OK......so she sent him to K the next year.....he was suspended for not following the rules......and she complained that he did not know how to tie his shoes.
Meyou 09:30 AM 09-30-2011
The worst are the parents that try and buy their way to good behavior. "If you ABC I'll buy you an expensive toy with a million buttons/candy/Mcd's/etc"
My dh had a coworker bring her son in the other week for an hour. My dh goofed with him and got him laughing and then sent him back to his mama and his coloring book when he snuck away while she was on the phone. Another coworker gave him money to go back and sit another time. *sigh* He's 4.
My dh had a coworker bring her son in the other week for an hour. My dh goofed with him and got him laughing and then sent him back to his mama and his coloring book when he snuck away while she was on the phone. Another coworker gave him money to go back and sit another time. *sigh* He's 4.
Blackcat31 09:32 AM 09-30-2011
Originally Posted by Meyou:
The worst are the parents that try and buy their way to good behavior. "If you ABC I'll buy you an expensive toy with a million buttons/candy/Mcd's/etc"
My dh had a coworker bring her son in the other week for an hour. My dh goofed with him and got him laughing and then sent him back to his mama and his coloring book when he snuck away while she was on the phone. Another coworker gave him money to go back and sit another time. *sigh* He's 4.
I had a kid lose a privilege here once and his mom offered me money to reinstate his privileges! The worst are the parents that try and buy their way to good behavior. "If you ABC I'll buy you an expensive toy with a million buttons/candy/Mcd's/etc"
My dh had a coworker bring her son in the other week for an hour. My dh goofed with him and got him laughing and then sent him back to his mama and his coloring book when he snuck away while she was on the phone. Another coworker gave him money to go back and sit another time. *sigh* He's 4.
I should have said yes.......
nannyde 09:44 AM 09-30-2011
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
I had a parent one time count all the pictures I had of all the kids I posted on FB.....then compared and told me there were less of her son. He was PART TIME! She also said he was not smiling in the pictures. I told her to look again.....he was engaged....most kids when interested and engaged do not have a big goofy smile on their face. I am not kidding.....she had written a HUGE email about all of her concerns. She also walked in and "caught" me teaching her child how to tie his shoes......she said....it is not conducive for a 4 year old to tie his shoes. OK......so she sent him to K the next year.....he was suspended for not following the rules......and she complained that he did not know how to tie his shoes.
I had a parent one time count all the pictures I had of all the kids I posted on FB.....then compared and told me there were less of her son. He was PART TIME! She also said he was not smiling in the pictures. I told her to look again.....he was engaged....most kids when interested and engaged do not have a big goofy smile on their face. I am not kidding.....she had written a HUGE email about all of her concerns. She also walked in and "caught" me teaching her child how to tie his shoes......she said....it is not conducive for a 4 year old to tie his shoes. OK......so she sent him to K the next year.....he was suspended for not following the rules......and she complained that he did not know how to tie his shoes.
If I had a parent counting pictures I would stop photographing the child at all. I would tell her that his pictures were upsetting her so much and it is just too risky to take any of him. If she wants pics of him on your facebook SHE needs to supply them and you will post them. That way they will be exactly as she wishes.
That Mom sounds like she had a bad case of "my child". It always gets cured when they go to free school.