This will probably be long so please pass on by if you feel like it. I just hope someone can sympathize with me, nod their heads and say yep yep, I know the feeling.

Too many days lately I've wanted to throw my hands in the air and yell I QUIT! There were times I truly loved doing what I do. I enjoyed the kids 100%, had lots of fun, laughed and loved right along with them. But I have felt that joy for my job trickle out little by little, leaving me feeling resentful, bitter, listless, unmotivated and just plain all used up. That's it in a nutshell, tired and all used up. Maybe it's because I was sick all weekend. Or the backyard is still such a muddy mess. I don't know. All I do know is my mood sucks.

This is spring break, I had 3 extra kids yesterday. 8 yo dck, 10 minutes after breakfast, announces she's bored. Even though she knows the rule about no electronics till naptime, she keeps trying to sneak it away. She doesn't want to help with the little kids, she doesn't want to draw, do anything I suggest, but play horses. I catch her jumping on the couch later and reprimand her. She and her 6 yo ds go at it physically sometimes, sisterly love. 6 yo ds jumps on the couch later(wtf). I reprimand her also.
7 yo dcb wasn't too bad yesterday but lots of physical roughness. He doesn't put up with anything so no matter who does what to him, he'll retaliate by pushing them, twisting their arm, whatever his knee jerk reaction sees fit. I reiterate all day long to them about hands/feet to yourself, tell the kids what you want or don't want. Plus 7 yo tattles all day long. His 4 yo ds screams, yells at everybody and is very sassy to me and everyone, all day long. She took a nap, which is unusual, so she must have been super tired, but still she can be like this. They were loud, sneaky, running around, etc., etc.
I could go on and on. But I'm sure you all get an idea.

I can see my problem. It's me. I have been extremely guilty of letting too many things slide. Second-guessing myself because the dcps are really nice, allowing too many things to happen that I don't want to see happen. Yesterday I tried to buckle down with the older kids because of their behaviors and I felt mean. Truth be told I felt like a $itch. I'm a softie, an easy touch, a doormat. And it's no longer working for me.

I know I will no longer accept school-aged kids after this summer. It's too hard mixing ages. Separately, they're great kids, all of them and I've had them all many years. But together?? A nightmare. I will be making changes when I stick with the younger crowd, I feel it'll be easier to do the no electronics, no outside toys, etc. when I start fresh. But at the moment, I am burning out fast.

I sooo want to get that joyful feeling back, when I used to semi-plan our days, the kids AND I had fun, played, did art, just laughed. I want uncomplicated.

If you actually read this, thanks.

Reply

I am at the same point right now . I have been doing daycare for 12 years , I used to love it . But lack of clients and the way some parents treat me make me want to call it quits . If I had a waiting list then I could just get rid of the ones who drive me nuts , but in all my years doing this I never had a waiting list , just too many providers and illegal sitters .

So I know exactly where you are coming from . I keep hoping I will get a few good clients and I too can start over and maybe be able to enjoy working with the little kids again .

Reply

I get it... I hate feeling burned out. Do you have to keep the older kids over the summer or can you drop them by June? There is still 6 weeks before Memorial day, so it's not like parents can't find alternatives by the end of school year; why kill yourself for 3 extra months if you feel this burned out now. (Just my opinion)

BTW, I dropped the school age kids within my first 4 years of starting childcare... as the years go on, I discovered I am much happier because I can take my littles outside, but they don't need as much big equipment, plus I still get a break at nap time most days

Reply

I think we all have been where you are at one point or another and most of us will get there again at some point. The feelings about this line of work go in cycles, for me at least. It can be very hard and most of the time you are the only adult around which can make it harder because there is no one to commiserate with. I hope it gets better for you and always know you can at least vent here.

Reply

I agree. If they are making you feel this way now, then perhaps you should consider just making this a light summer.

Otherwise, things that have worked for me when I'm having a rough time is switching up the schedule a little bit by adding something new to do or adding more outdoor time.

Sorry you're feeling burnt out.

Reply

Definitely drop the school agers! They are causing you too much grief.

Start there, and you should see some results. It's not you, THEY are a pita and should be at camps or somewhere with older kids.

I've tried school agers and it only works for a day or two before it's a problem. I applaud those that make it work, but it's best they move on!

Reply

No school kids for me either, except my own and they do their own thing in their own places.

Reply

I definitely know what you're going through, I was you until I dropped SA!

Reply

I am in the same boat. I guess I need a bigger backbone, because I know I need to get rid of the SAs for my own sanity... Preferably before summer! But right now I just can't bring myself to do it! It's only one family with 2 SA boys, their 4yo brother I have all day everyday. So as an outsider it's an easy, clear-as-day decision. But to me, there are a lot of little factors that go into this, to think about. Maybe you are looking at it the same way I am... And that's probably causing our miserable moods! Ugh. I just need to suck it up and do it.

Reply

I had to cut out school age also. It was just too hard. If I were you I'd do it before summer. Why have a miserable summer? Just tell mom they have outgrown your program and need to be in a group with kids their own age.

Laurel

Reply

I have no advice to give, but did want to give you a big cyber hug. Almost everyone here has been at the point at some time

Reply

I am wearing your shoes too. I started by cutting the SA program, and that game me a moment to breathe, seek some clarity, and ultimately let families know that I'd be closing my doors at the end of May. I really wanted it to happen sooner, but I decided to not accept the first job offered to me because it wasn't exactly what i wanted. Burn out is real, and it's important to regroup, decide how you feel and then proceed accordingly. These little people we are with all day, every day, need us to be at our best most of the time. They depend on us.

I know I had some sibling sets where the little still is coming here, and the SA had to go somewhere else. I was really worried that by letting dcp know that i could still provide care for their youngest, but not their oldest, that they might just leave alltogether - and I felt guilty for some reason. Ultimately, neither family pulled their baby from my program, and I'm happier riding this train right now, especially because i have an end in sight.

Reply

I'm so happy we have this forum where we can talk to other providers. I don't really have any advice, but agree that dropping the SA would help.

Reply

I was in the same boat...and the problem was my own son! He is almost 7 years old, and in first grade. He was so rough and tumble, and just too much. The sweet little kindergartener girl I have had since she was 3 was also starting to act rowdy.

I reprimanded and reprimanded...and couldn't figure out why they both behaved so well at school and were so disruptive at my daycare. Then I had a lightbulb moment! At their school, they have the SOAR program. It stands for respect, obedience, etc., and they have a point system. Everybody starts out with 5 points, and they can either be taken away or added during the day. Every 6 weeks, they get a SOAR party (movie, popcorn, etc.) for all the kids who did really well. Every day, my son comes home with 5's through 7's. He has never gotten a 4. The same with the little girl.

So, I decided to make it appropriate for my daycare. They start out with 0 warnings and 2 treats (I cobbled together some leftover stickers, ribbons, balloons, etc. and put it in a bag). If they get one warning, they only get one treat. After 3 warnings, they get no treats at all. Suddenly, they were little angels again!!!

As they are going out the door, they get to pick their treats out of the bag. This works all the way down to my 3 year olds. I told the parents what I was doing, and explained the SOAR program to them and how they would be expected to behave in kindergarten. They all love it too! Plus, it is a great way to get rid off all those random crafts we always seem to stockpile.

Price: $0. Happiness: Huge!

Reply

I hate that for you. Its so easy to get burnt out. I agree you should quit doing SA before the start of summer. It might make the summer a lot more enjoyable.

Reply

Thanks for all your responses everybody. I feel and sound like such a whiner some days. Today has gone better, except for an altercation between the sisters, which blew up pretty fast. but I kept my cool, did my best and talked them through it. I remember what it's like being a sister and also had 2 dds close to the same age, so I saw a lot of what they do/say to each other with my own. And wow, girls can be as brutal as boys.
I know what I should do is let the SA kids go before summer but I'm pretty sure I'd lose the 4 yo sister too. Plus I wouldn't feel right because there are 2 more SA girls that will be here this summer and they are great helpers, I've had them since the youngest was 18 months and she's now 11(oldest is 12). They LOVE cooking, cleaning, helping with all the kids but mainly the little ones. I have 0 problems with those 2 and am looking forward to seeing them so much. That's why I was hoping to make it through 1 more summer with everybody then cut the cord.
Plus, let's face it, that would be quite a bit of income to give up and I really need to get ahead a little bit for the fall expenses. I know I'm burned out but not being able to pay my bills wouldn't help my situation either.
I will be switching my yard around this summer, found some cute and different(simple YAY) pinterest ideas, have some Home Depot gift cards to spend on it. So hopefully, it will refresh my outlook, the kids' fun, and we'll stay outside as much as possible. Win Win right?

Thanks again for letting me come here to vent. Some days I just need it!

Oh and I'd be interested to hear more about the SOAR idea, that sounds really cool!

Reply

When my days are where NO ONE gets along, we have what i call STRUCTURED FREE PLAY.. I set up 5 tables and rotate kids in and out using a timer. I choose who goes where and plays with what....Needless to say, I don't have to do this much anymore. The kids like making their own choices. Choices/consequences

Reply

I totally understand! I've been at this for twelve years and often feel like quitting but I need the income and don't think I could find a "real" job (don't take that the wrong way!). I agree with you about the mixed ages being stressful. I'm working towards no longer taking infants or school age kids any longer, just pre schoolers ages one to four years. Just remember after spring break at least you'll be back to a normal kind of crazy.

Reply

That's really rotten behavior from the school-agers! Don't put up with it! I tell you, I'd crack!

I haven't had SA this time around doing child care, but years ago I had lots and they were always so good! And I never heard, "I'm bored"-ever. Granted I could take 6 preschoolers and 5 school age, so they had lots of playmates.

I couldn't stand it for a second. Ugh! Take care of yourself. Do some small things to pamper yourself. Get rid of those SA or set up expectations daily and follow through. Get rid if the kid that is twisting arms though!

Reply

I've been there. Sometimes I love doing this, other days I don't. I think a part of it is the weather (plus for me I'm preggo so my hormones probably don't help...lol) I don't know where you live, but it's been so cold here and miserable and I was miserable most of the time. Well, last week, it was so nice out. I had the best week that I have had in a long time!

I sldo find that when certain kids are here, together, my days are usually the worst. I have 2-3.5 year old boys and my ds who is 2.5, along with 3-1/1.5 year olds. When all 3 boys are here, it's usually miserable, if it's just 2, it's usually ok. I think you just have to find what works for you. I would never take SA children, my program isn't geared for them and they would be bored out of their minds and I would probably go insane. I prefer 3 (actually 2 and under, but regs prevent me from having more than 4 under 2.5) and under and am happiest when it's that way.

I hope that your days get better. Hopefully with nicer weather things will change.

Reply