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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Putting 7mo on Toilet?
crazydaycarelady 07:31 AM 06-03-2013
New dcm showed up today and told me that she puts 7mo dcb on the toilet throughout the day. I asked if she was doing elimination communication (which I am not prepared to do,) but she is not. She just sets him on the pot after naps and throughout the day and he apparently goes #1 and #2.

I have never heard of this. I suppose the advantage would be using less diapers. I don't have lots of time to hold a 7mo over the commode during the day tough.
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blandino 07:38 AM 06-03-2013
I have it in my policies that I will only work with a child on potty training once they are accident free at home, since he is only going a portion of the time - I wouldnt be open to working with him at daycare at that point.

Personally, I wouldn't hold him over the toilet at all. I have parents tell me lots of things that they do at home, that I don't/won't do at daycare. Sometimes I feel like ( and I think this is the same as your DCM) that when parents tell me what they do at home, they think I will do the same at daycare. I typically do things the way they work best in daycare, regardless of how they are done at home. There are a ton of 1 on 1 behaviors an practices that work fine at home, that aren't suitable for daycare.

If DCM asks about it, I would simply tell her that it isn't feasible to do in a group care setting.
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wdmmom 07:41 AM 06-03-2013
Nope. Until a child can tell you then need to use the bathroom and undress themselves, they don't go to the potty here. Tell her that untrained children need to be diapered at all times and to keep supplying them.
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cheerfuldom 08:20 AM 06-03-2013
she IS essentially doing elimination communication no matter what she is calling it. SHE is the one taking this child to the potty and conditioning them to go there when the diaper is off. I know it might seem unusual in America but a lot of people do that, especially in other countries. All that said, if that is not how you handle pottying then tell her so. Give her a copy of your potty training policy and let her know that pottying an infant is not a service you offer at your daycare. Its no big deal. She can keep parenting however she wants to, that doesnt mean you have to work with this family though.
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youretooloud 02:58 PM 06-03-2013
I'm all for doing that. But, I won't do it here. She has only one child to get up...I have up to six little ones. Six diapers, six mats to put away, six snacks to prepare. Right after nap is the worst possible time for me to hold a seven month old over a potty chair.

If I only had one or two kids, i'd happily do it.
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Leigh 07:43 AM 06-04-2013
I have a 2.5 year old that I won't do this with.

The kid can't pull his own pants up/down. He swears he did NOT poop when his diaper is gagging the whole house (and fights diaper changes). He says he has to go everytime another kid goes and has NEVER went in a toilet or potty chair. His caregiver wants me to put him on the potty chair IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION every 30 minutes. No, HELLLLLLL NO.

I'd find some information about how detrimental it can be to try to potty train too early, and hand that to the parent. Ask how the baby is going to ask you to go, and how she is going to handle getting on the toilet herself at 7 months or 10 months or whenever parent considers her trained. It's hard for parents to accept that their child is not the only one you care about-sometimes they need a reminder.
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Josiegirl 04:50 AM 06-15-2013
Is this what they did in the 'olden days'? My mom used to tell me all us kids were potty-trained by 12 months of age. Trouble is the definition of potty-trained 50 years ago is far different from today's standards. I feel the norm for now is between 2-3, overlapping at each end. Do what works for your daycare. That's my motto. I doubt she'd find a daycare that would do that because as mentioned, when you've got 6 kids, you have much more to do than they do.
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mamac 08:59 AM 06-15-2013
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Is this what they did in the 'olden days'? My mom used to tell me all us kids were potty-trained by 12 months of age. Trouble is the definition of potty-trained 50 years ago is far different from today's standards. I feel the norm for now is between 2-3, overlapping at each end. Do what works for your daycare. That's my motto. I doubt she'd find a daycare that would do that because as mentioned, when you've got 6 kids, you have much more to do than they do.
My dh's grandmother was shocked that our first ds wasn't potty trained by the time he was one! According to her, all her children were completely trained by 9 months! I think her memory may have been playing tricks on her though. I can't see very many 9 month old babies walking, let alone being able to undress and get themselves on and off a toilet.
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blandino 09:51 AM 06-15-2013
Originally Posted by mamac:
My dh's grandmother was shocked that our first ds wasn't potty trained by the time he was one! According to her, all her children were completely trained by 9 months! I think her memory may have been playing tricks on her though. I can't see very many 9 month old babies walking, let alone being able to undress and get themselves on and off a toilet.
We refer to that as "potty training amnesia". I have so many parents tell me their relatives tell them their children were potty trained by 12/15/18 months. (all ages I haven't seen be fully PT).

When a client tells me that, I say "there are many different definitions of potty trained". Some people might consider a child potty trained simply because they have taken them out of diapers, and being them to the potty every 20 minutes, undress them- put them on the toilet- encourage them to pee- and redress them, and they might have a few accidents a day.

Really, I have met clients and friends, who think that as log as a child is out of diapers, it's okay If they are having daily accidents.
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DaisyMamma 06:25 PM 06-17-2013
Potty Training Amnesia

I know someone who says her child was 3 when she was trained. In fact this child peed her pants a minimum of once a day and refused to poop on the toilet until after age 4. so, no, the kid was not trained at 3, she was trained at 4.
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cheerfuldom 06:37 PM 06-17-2013
oh I totally know parents with amnesia!

my sisters mother in law swears none of her four kids (including my sisters husband) ever had tantrums but the thing that is funny is that the four kids remember a lot of tantrums they or their siblings had. everyone in the family disagrees with this woman and she will not admit the truth!

my friend swears here daughter was potty trained right when she turned three but I know that kids daycare provider. and I know for positive that she was still having accidents well after four years old.
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blandino 07:16 PM 06-17-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
oh I totally know parents with amnesia!

my sisters mother in law swears none of her four kids (including my sisters husband) ever had tantrums but the thing that is funny is that the four kids remember a lot of tantrums they or their siblings had. everyone in the family disagrees with this woman and she will not admit the truth!

my friend swears here daughter was potty trained right when she turned three but I know that kids daycare provider. and I know for positive that she was still having accidents well after four years old.
Yes, we have an ex-client who swears up and down that her child was fully potty trained at 2. We know her sister, and she told us that DCM would put her daughter in panties, but DCM was constantly angry because she was having accidents - and even a BM accident at Thanksgiving.

That DCM doesn't know we know, and she will go on and on about her kids being trained at 2.
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LaLa1923 04:00 AM 06-18-2013
I am having a hard time with my ds now. Hes 3 for crying out loud! However, he's also my baby, and I have truly let him get away with more than I ever let my kids get away with. We are trying that is for sure, I just want him to be bm potty trained and we will be in the home stretch.

When I potty trained my oldest two, I foolishly thought I could also night time potty train......

My daughter maybe had a night accident 1-2 times, my son ha! I lost count... So he was in a pullup (at night) until probably 5 years old. Yes, he was potty trained during the day, but it was a long time until he didn't have any accidents at night. He had one a month for about the last year or so. Unfortunately, my family has a history of older bed-wetters. There's only so much you can do KWIM.

My three year old still needs assistance with his clothing, I don't see the point in holding a child back just because they can't pull clothing up or need help.
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blandino 06:21 AM 06-18-2013
Originally Posted by LaLa1923:

My three year old still needs assistance with his clothing, I don't see the point in holding a child back just because they can't pull clothing up or need help.
I can agree with you if a child is at home, But in a daycare setting I just can't take all 5 of my 2/3 year olds who are Potty trained and do their clothing for them. I would be able to do nothing else all day, not to mention having to stop several times through activities to accompany each one of them to the bathroom and assist. KWIM ?
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Hunni Bee 07:21 AM 06-18-2013
Originally Posted by LaLa1923:
My three year old still needs assistance with his clothing, I don't see the point in holding a child back just because they can't pull clothing up or need help.
I agree. That was never a stalling point with me. When I worked at my other job and the little boys wore these thick, heavy jeans with buttons...I knew I had to help. I'd just unbutton and loosen the pants, send them to do their business and they'd come back and have me fasten the pants. Not a big deal.
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blandino 08:15 AM 06-18-2013
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
I agree. That was never a stalling point with me. When I worked at my other job and the little boys wore these thick, heavy jeans with buttons...I knew I had to help. I'd just unbutton and loosen the pants, send them to do their business and they'd come back and have me fasten the pants. Not a big deal.
See, I just require that children wear pants that they can pull up and down by themselves and that usually solves the problem. If I need to help with a button or snap, I have no problem doing that. But when a child can't even pull elastic waste pants/shorts up or down that I have a problem.
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