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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>OMG FB Hit!
mrsnj 06:07 AM 08-05-2013
I just started a new family on Wed. SA and 19 month old. The baby has adjusted perfect. A complete sweetheart! The SA child has been up my butt the whole time. The mother lied about her age which I was not pleased about. I noticed she was much bigger than my daughter but don't know the dad and figured she was taking after him in size. Began asking the SA child questions about her new school (she lived here, moved away and returned) as she should not have attended there before only for her to say she had. Which, make a long story short, told me she was older than she was due to her moving dates and the grades the school has in it. I got her bdate and she is older. Too old for me to be taking really. She is almost 10. If a child is old enough to start a period or get the beginning of boobs...kinda too told for here! She won't leave her sister alone. She bugs her all day till I have to chase her away cause she gets her sister upset! Finally mom says that she is going to stay at a friends house for the summer. Cool. Works for me as she was too old to come and wasn't fitting in. The baby would stay. I was fine with that arrangement.

Today they are a no show. I call moms cell and swore someone hung up on me. Odd. She is now almost two hours late. I remember you guys on here about FB so I go on............OMG I am livid!!!

She posts on there that she has taken her girls to a horrible provider. That I have done nothing but lie to her and that I LOCK HER DAUGHTER UP IN A ROOM ALL DAY LONG AND LEAVE HER! That she now has a diaper rash....who BTW not only arrived to ME with a diaper rash but diarrhea!!!! Of which mom brought cream the first day because of it and I told dad about the diarrhea and he tells me she gets it all the time......but I CAUSED IT by leaving her daughter locked up in the room all day! I don't play with her. I do nothing with her and and just horrible and lied!! That she had to come and do drop ins to make sure everything was ok. She never did. She came and dropped off and I didnt' hear from her the rest of the time. Step dad picked up! I texted her throughout the day and filled her in. Took pics and sent them so she knew they were doing well. And she posts that?!

SERIOUSLY!? SERIOUSLY??????!!!!

#1 If you thought I was so horrible why would you bring your kids?? First day..issue?...I would be saying something or pulling.

#2 You wouldn't talk to me about it? You post it on FB?

#3 You LIE about me. I mean openly LIE about me. You bring your kid with diarrhea and rash and one day a diaper full of poo but I DID IT? SERIOUSLY!?

I do not get it!!!! She is all nicey nicey to my face and you post that poo behind my back??? Who brings their kids and do not say something if they truely thought I was doing those things....which I doubt she does cause HELLO she knows she lied herself. What I do not get is why? What did I do that she feels she has to tell these things to her friends? Attention? Crazy? I mean really!

I have police officers kids here. I have DYFS workers kids here. Does she really think I do those things? That they bring their kids here and I do those things?? Oh but wait, she might not know that CAUSE SHE DIDN'T TALK TO ME!!

I want to post back and cannot. I want to email her and tell her where she can go but cannot. She claims in the post that her youngest will come here and Wed she will be looking elsewhere on her half day. But she isn't here today so I don't think she is coming back.

I don't know how to handle this cause right now, I am trying not to say exactly what I am thinking!!!!!!
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MrsSteinel'sHouse 06:17 AM 08-05-2013
I would take a picture of the post before it is removed. I don't know in this day and age if that would be slander in court but it would seem that way to me. I would consider a lawsuit. She is trying to harm your business.
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cheerfuldom 06:24 AM 08-05-2013
document everything including screen shots of the FB comments

write up an immediate term letter and have someone you trust hand deliver directly to her at home or workplace so you have a witness that she got it. that will be faster than certified mail. make sure her remaining items are hand delivered

call your licensor so they are prepared for a false allegation from this mom

do not call this person or get into any sort of confrontation with her. term and b done with it.

sorry you got screwed, it happens to all of us
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mrsnj 06:25 AM 08-05-2013
Should I send an official term notice? Let it go? Assume she isn't returning. I certainly would turn away at the door should she show. Pack up her things and drop off? I have never had this happen before. When I read that on here I thought "wow....never had someone do that' and yet here I am!
How do I word the terming notice without letting my anger get the better of me....black cat where are you??

The fact that I think she hung up on me and has not called...I am assuming she is a not return/no notice. Which is fine with me cause I am so mad right now I could spit! But I don't know how to go from here.
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Brooksie 06:30 AM 08-05-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
document everything including screen shots of the FB comments

write up an immediate term letter and have someone you trust hand deliver directly to her at home or workplace so you have a witness that she got it. that will be faster than certified mail. make sure her remaining items are hand delivered

call your licensor so they are prepared for a false allegation from this mom

do not call this person or get into any sort of confrontation with her. term and b done with it.

sorry you got screwed, it happens to all of us

this exactly. Make sure to call your licencor and document the FB allegations. They need to know from you before they hear it from somewhere else.
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coolconfidentme 06:35 AM 08-05-2013
Screen shot the post & then send her a cease & desist post that what she wrote is libelous. If it harms your business you will seek legal action against her. I would also send it certified mail too.
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MrsSteinel'sHouse 06:41 AM 08-05-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
this exactly. Make sure to call your licencor and document the FB allegations. They need to know from you before they hear it from somewhere else.
This and I would call my lawyer. No show no call for me is immediate termination. So, I wouldn't need to terminate. Document and save all communications. If you still have "stuff" I personally wait and see if she requests it. If she does I would make arrangements with a third party, like the police department to make the transfer happen.
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CedarCreek 06:43 AM 08-05-2013
That really really stinks.

You didn't happen to document that the baby had a diaper rash on the first day, did you? That would help when/if licensing comes.

I agree, term immediately. If she doesn't show and she owes you money, send her term papers and a bill via certified letter. I would also contact her and demand she remove the damaging post about your daycare if she specifically named you. Mentioning a cease and desist letter would help her get the point.

Goodluck.
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Laurel 06:45 AM 08-05-2013
Also let someone else see the FB post.

One time when my daughter was divorcing a lawyer was going to use me to say what her ex had written in an email to me although I had erased the email by that time. He said it didn't matter as long as I could testify that I saw it because some of the stuff was word for word what he had said on an anonymous 'note' to neighbors to embarrass her.

Just in case, it wouldn't hurt.

Laurel
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mrsnj 07:19 AM 08-05-2013
I took a page shot of it. She doesn't openly mention my name so I don't think I can itch about that. Not sure what she is saying verbally but on FB she doesn't give indication of who. I am legally unlic. so can't call state. Gonna show the post to my friend too as you mentioned.

Because she hasn't contacted me, I am assuming she is going to walk and leave everything. So half of me says SEE YA and let it go but the other half says to officially term her cause clearly she wants the upper hand but it will likely piss her off. Her kids things are all here. So not sure how long I need to hold them but...........
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TheGoodLife 07:23 AM 08-05-2013
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
I took a page shot of it. She doesn't openly mention my name so I don't think I can itch about that. Not sure what she is saying verbally but on FB she doesn't give indication of who. I am legally unlic. so can't call state. Gonna show the post to my friend too as you mentioned.
I would still call state, even if unlicensed. I once had a parent call DHHS and say I was overratio, and I am unlicensed. They came to the house to check it out. Doesn't hurt to cover your basis in case she calls to report neglect- they will have it that you contacted them first So sorry you are going through this- I hope things end as drama-free as possible
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Blackcat31 08:46 AM 08-05-2013
How's this? (The personal thoughts can be included or left out....depends on how snarky/angry you feel )

Dear DCF

Due to communication issues, our contract for child care services is cancelled, effective immediately.

Please call and make arrangements to stop by daycare and pick up your children's belongings within in the next 5 days.

Please be aware that due to some recent Facebook activity, I have contacted my attorney and will be pursuing defamation and/or slander charges should any posts concerning myself and/or my child care not be removed within the next 24 hours.

Communication is the key to any successful relationship. It is rather unfortunate that you chose an alternate method to convey your feelings/expectations.

Sincerely,

Provider



I am all for professionalism and taking the high road but sometimes, you just have to let the other person know you know....kiwm?

I'd probably want to be a little more angry in my words to her but again, I would try to take the high road.
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DaycareMomma 09:47 AM 08-05-2013
I would type up the letter Blackcat posted. That is GREAT! I'd make dang sure to include the part about facebook. She needs to know that you see things and that she can't get away with posting that stuff.
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mrsnj 10:36 AM 08-05-2013
I am not angry anymore. Its just really hurtful. I have been open with her. I communicated with her the whole time so she didn't worry. I spent extra time with her youngest so she would be comfortable and happy. I was really stressed out too cause my aide was sick and I was doing this all alone but I made the time for one on one. Had she talked with me I would have given her numbers of parents I have here who are 'old timers" like my 4th grader who has been here since he was 4 months old! I have older children here that all talk and certainly only enough to communicate if there were issues. Does she think only HER daughter can tell her these things? The whole lying issue to me proves she doesn't know the truth so in fact I really cant even say who is to blame cause mom clearly has no clue on the truth. I am still in shock over her blaming me for her daughters diaper rash and diarrhea. Shocked! She MUST be joking! And thinking on this......she said she pulled her oldest to go to a friends house and the little one would be coming until she could find alternate care. Now WHY would you do that if the little one could not talk?? You would pull the one who can so called fill you in and leave the little one with the 'horrible daycare provider' to fend for herself and not have a clue what was happening? I mean the whole thing doesn't click!

Pulling a child cause your guts tells you it isn't working....I get. I can even accept not talking with me even though I disagree with the method. But to openly LIE and be brazen enough to post it on FB on an unlocked page.....wow it just has me kinda ---------> God forbid the day ever came she fell and got hurt or got sick! Or Lordy broke her arm at home or something! I can only imagine what would be said and who would take that brunt! Only mental people do that!

She was upset cause I wouldn't let her 19 month old freedom to walk about with her 10 yr old sister too. Ok....#1 I clearly stated my babies are not with my older children during interview. I would like her to find a daycare that would allow babies to roam freely among 10 yr old kids. That is why they are divided into age groups. Either way her 10 yr old made the baby cry! She would go over and call her over and then run away, leaving the baby upset. Just as she would go back and play, the 10 yr old would go back over! By day two enough was enough and yep....no longer allowed contact. I am sorry but that isn't happening here. So she told her mom that I put her in a room alone and locked her up all day and she wasn't allowed to see anyone and mom stated I lied and would not let the girls play together. Really? What was that in the letter about open communication? Had she asked........

Yes I am ranting at this point and need to let it go.

Their things are packed at the door. The term notice in it just in case they come today. If I don't hear from them by Wed I will send it via mail. No contact by the pick up date.....discarding. Done.
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cheerfuldom 12:25 PM 08-05-2013
I would send it now so they get a copy be Wed. and you have another copy ready when they show up. Cover all your bases and be ready for this mom to come back on you. she sounds crazy.
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Crazy8 12:28 PM 08-05-2013
yikes! I love FB for communicating with parents and sharing things about the kids day but god I am hating so many of the other issues it can cause!!

Good luck. I hope she doesn't show up. If she did I'd be real tempted to tell her I never expected her to come back to the daycare that locks her child in a room all day and shut the door in her face!!
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bunnyslippers 12:51 PM 08-05-2013
That stinks! When I was a public school teacher, I had a parent post something on Facebook about her autistic son coming home from school with scrapes and bruises. My superintendent saw it, and demanded the mother come in for a meeting with the district's lawyer. The mother was mortified that we had seen it, and never pulled anything like that again. Sometimes, people need to be called out for their stupid behavior. I hope you send BC's letter. I would be tempted to post my own rant on FB, but it probably isn't a productive step to take.
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mrsnj 01:12 PM 08-05-2013
Well posting a rant on my fb page would not go far. Lol. MY page is locked

I am not a fb fan. But this is the second time fb has come into play in a month. First was a few wks ago when a mom brought her kids sick n posted she did it on fb then got caught by another parent who told on her! And now this. *rolling eyes*. People really need to think when they write things on public sites
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Anon 01:16 PM 08-05-2013
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
I just started a new family on Wed. SA and 19 month old. The baby has adjusted perfect. A complete sweetheart! The SA child has been up my butt the whole time. The mother lied about her age which I was not pleased about. I noticed she was much bigger than my daughter but don't know the dad and figured she was taking after him in size. Began asking the SA child questions about her new school (she lived here, moved away and returned) as she should not have attended there before only for her to say she had. Which, make a long story short, told me she was older than she was due to her moving dates and the grades the school has in it. I got her bdate and she is older. Too old for me to be taking really. She is almost 10. If a child is old enough to start a period or get the beginning of boobs...kinda too told for here! She won't leave her sister alone. She bugs her all day till I have to chase her away cause she gets her sister upset! Finally mom says that she is going to stay at a friends house for the summer. Cool. Works for me as she was too old to come and wasn't fitting in. The baby would stay. I was fine with that arrangement.

Today they are a no show. I call moms cell and swore someone hung up on me. Odd. She is now almost two hours late. I remember you guys on here about FB so I go on............OMG I am livid!!!

She posts on there that she has taken her girls to a horrible provider. That I have done nothing but lie to her and that I LOCK HER DAUGHTER UP IN A ROOM ALL DAY LONG AND LEAVE HER! That she now has a diaper rash....who BTW not only arrived to ME with a diaper rash but diarrhea!!!! Of which mom brought cream the first day because of it and I told dad about the diarrhea and he tells me she gets it all the time......but I CAUSED IT by leaving her daughter locked up in the room all day! I don't play with her. I do nothing with her and and just horrible and lied!! That she had to come and do drop ins to make sure everything was ok. She never did. She came and dropped off and I didnt' hear from her the rest of the time. Step dad picked up! I texted her throughout the day and filled her in. Took pics and sent them so she knew they were doing well. And she posts that?!

SERIOUSLY!? SERIOUSLY??????!!!!

#1 If you thought I was so horrible why would you bring your kids?? First day..issue?...I would be saying something or pulling.

#2 You wouldn't talk to me about it? You post it on FB?

#3 You LIE about me. I mean openly LIE about me. You bring your kid with diarrhea and rash and one day a diaper full of poo but I DID IT? SERIOUSLY!?

I do not get it!!!! She is all nicey nicey to my face and you post that poo behind my back??? Who brings their kids and do not say something if they truely thought I was doing those things....which I doubt she does cause HELLO she knows she lied herself. What I do not get is why? What did I do that she feels she has to tell these things to her friends? Attention? Crazy? I mean really!

I have police officers kids here. I have DYFS workers kids here. Does she really think I do those things? That they bring their kids here and I do those things?? Oh but wait, she might not know that CAUSE SHE DIDN'T TALK TO ME!!

I want to post back and cannot. I want to email her and tell her where she can go but cannot. She claims in the post that her youngest will come here and Wed she will be looking elsewhere on her half day. But she isn't here today so I don't think she is coming back.

I don't know how to handle this cause right now, I am trying not to say exactly what I am thinking!!!!!!
SCREEN SHOT and e mail it to yourself. Save it for a rainy day. What she's doing is LIBEL and so long as what she says IS NOT TRUE, you have a right to sue her.


I'll tell you what happened to me:

I had a dcm who owed me $120 for her 2 children. Also, the school year was about to end and they wanted me to do FT care for the older child, and I said "$10 extra per day" and they didn't like it. I told them "However, I cannot take your children again til the $120 balance is paid and the first two weeks for summer are paid in advance as it seems as paying after-the-fact is not working".

They got ANGRY. I mean REALLY angry. They told me they would do WHATEVER they could to RUIN my business and get my license revoked.

The next day, they called acting like they were "sorry" and if I took their child back but on THEIR terms and they would not do any of this. I said "Um, no, you threatened me because YOU owe ME money and I refused to take your kid back and NOW you are trying to BRIBE me into taking your children back and THEN also asking me to lower the price for summer care? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" And I hung up on them. Then I got another call "If you don't work with us, we're calling your licensor" I said "BE MY GUEST, BECAUSE I'M CALLING HER NOW!" And I did just that. I also called the State Licensing Board of Directors and got some advice.

About 10 minutes of talking to the provider, my E mail Dings. I get an E MAIL from these a-double-s holes stating what they said on the phone (woo hoo! I printed that shiznit out).

They said they would tell DHS/LICENSING: I didn't feed their children (Funny, I was on a food program so hmmmm....those unannounced visits where a state worker witnessed me feeding children and put this info in writing was awesome to have!), I beat the young one, and that I had physically abused the older one too, and they went as far to claim sexual abuse! I could NOT believe it. I thought maybe they'd claim some other BS, but to go that far disgusts me.

I obviously had an investigation on me and the investigation found a LOT of stuff out: ABOUT THE PARENTS!

I showed them the email. They interviewed all my kids that could talk, even the 4yo group. Obviously, I fed the kids and certainly did not beat or molest anyone! I could not even believe the mere suggestion. The case was dropped, BUT they felt the child WAS being abused still. Apparently the NEW provider had called in a complaint. Sadly, it was found upon investigation of the parent's home, the child was really being abused. So they accused ME to deflect the suspicion off themselves. Then the new provider outed them and they were completely shocked that they were caught.

There is SO much more to the disgusting stuff that was found out about the parents, not limited to filthy disgusting conditions of their home and other things that were pulled up (previous complaints from neighbors for unrelated things that were taken into consideration during the investigation).

Also, the older girl was advised to BULLY my kid at school. The older kid told another child that her MOTHER and fake Stepfather (they were not married and he didn't really want to be a dad to the older kid) told her to bother my kid to "get me back" and the other kid told me. I went promptly to the school and explained the situation and they also made a report to DHS.

So, you see, while it seems as a person's lies can ruin YOUR Life, usually the crap comes right back to bite them.

That said, YES my business was hurt for about a year. I got NO calls, and I saw people whispering. Once someone makes these allegations out loud or writes them on websites or tells other parents, it matters NOT that it is found out that I did nothing wrong and that the parents lied. People lose trust from lies. I would screen shot and make a comment and screen shot again. I'd say "You know, it's not wise to place LIES about someone's business in writing all over the web" And leave it at that. No matter WHAT else she says, IGNORE but screen shot it. Do NOT get into a back and forth. Whatever else she could possibly say would fall under the "lies" part of your post and if she keeps going on and on, you can use it against her in court.


I ended up not suing because these parents, who were pretty scummy, did not have anything to their names but cigarettes, beer, and drugs. Unfortunately, I was desperate for money and took ANY client I could get back then. Unwise, YES! Would I ever do that again? NO.

I am much more selective of my clients now and do NOT put up with bs. I even have a clause in contract that states if there is a problem with me they are to COMMUNICATE so we can work it out. I also tell the parents face to face that if I ever find them talking negatively about me, true or not, care is terminated. (Negative doesn't mean you've done anything bad. It could be as simple as not liking a policy. The point is the parent should be telling ME about it and not everyone else!)

I know that there are others who have had the same problems as me and have been accused of similar and it not being true. It really sucks when you're on the end as the accusee and people think you really did those things.
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mrsnj 01:47 PM 08-05-2013
See thats the bs I don't want to get into. Take your stuff and bye bye. Clearly this woman has no issue lying. I want them gone and done.

Fun part? They attend the VBS that I run at my church. So somewhere...it is going to bite me. I can kick her out of here. I can't do that there.
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MotherNature 02:13 PM 08-05-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
document everything including screen shots of the FB comments

write up an immediate term letter and have someone you trust hand deliver directly to her at home or workplace so you have a witness that she got it. that will be faster than certified mail. make sure her remaining items are hand delivered

call your licensor so they are prepared for a false allegation from this mom

do not call this person or get into any sort of confrontation with her. term and b done with it.

sorry you got screwed, it happens to all of us
all of this exactly. And save your texts.
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Starburst 02:27 PM 08-05-2013
I would take a picture of it just in case for your own personal files and then I would report it to FB officials that she is lying about your business; which is considered defamation of character and libel (when its spoken it's called slander, when written it's called libel).
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MotherNature 02:35 PM 08-05-2013
wow, anonymous,
That's horrifying & scary. I hope your business has recovered & you have awesome clients now.
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Tags:defamation, parents - from hell, slander, termination disrespectful
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