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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>No Medicine for Child at All!
momma2girls 05:49 AM 04-13-2010
I have a daycare friend that asked a daycare mom over 2 weeks ago, to bring along Tylenol, teething tablets, and anbesol for a little 4-5 month old boy. The Mom refuses to bring her any medicine whatsover. She kind of got into it with the Mom yesterday at pick up. She asked "Why are you not bringing along any medicine for me" She said she will not, even though the child is screaming and has a bunch of teeth coming in all day!! Can you believe this??? How awful!! That is just too sad!! I told her what I would do if it was me, explain to the Mom, if she doesn't bring something in to comfort the child, then she can no longer take care of him!!! SHe really is pissed off and needs to make a decision now!! I have never myself had to deal with this. I have had to deal with alot from parents, but never this!!!!!!!!!!!
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tymaboy 06:15 AM 04-13-2010
If it were me & did not have the OK to give something thenI would call to have the child picked up whenever he is too fussy. After a few days of that I bet you'll have something to ease the pain.
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momma2girls 06:19 AM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by tymaboy:
If it were me & did not have the OK to give something thenI would call to have the child picked up whenever he is too fussy. After a few days of that I bet you'll have something to ease the pain.
THis is a good idea, maybe she should implement this!! I will tell her, thanks tymboy!!!
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safechner 06:39 AM 04-13-2010
I agree with tymaboy. I can't believe this child's mother. Poor child.
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Daycare Mommy 09:04 AM 04-13-2010
That is awful. I think that calling mom to pick up when he gets too fussy is a wonderful idea. If it isn't already in the illness policy, I'd add it. Poor kid. Let us know what happens!
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GretasLittleFriends 09:27 AM 04-13-2010
I can understand parents not wanting to over medicate their child. Your friend should explain to the mom that the teething tablets are non-medicated. That may help the mother feel better.

If I were in those shoes, I agree with tymaboy, I'd be calling the mother to come get the child.
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momma2girls 09:51 AM 04-13-2010
SO today the friend's daycare mother finally brought her anbesol and that is it. I told the daycare provider good luck with that. It probably will not work the greatest if at all, but I guess she is happy she brought something for her. Hopefully it will work a little bit for her!! I feel badly for her! Poor child!!!
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MarinaVanessa 12:39 PM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by tymaboy:
If it were me & did not have the OK to give something thenI would call to have the child picked up whenever he is too fussy. After a few days of that I bet you'll have something to ease the pain.
I also agree with this. They are pretty much tying her hands by not bringing her or allowing her to use medicine. But also be careful and make sure that if the mom decided to bring medicine after-all that she get a consent to administer medicine form. You never know what may happen or what she may do (the mom).
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momma2girls 12:49 PM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I also agree with this. They are pretty much tying her hands by not bringing her or allowing her to use medicine. But also be careful and make sure that if the mom decided to bring medicine after-all that she get a consent to administer medicine form. You never know what may happen or what she may do (the mom).
THe funny thing about the whole thing is the mother already signed the medicine release form, when she started with her daycare. Maybe she thought she would never have to use it, if she never brought anything to her!!
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MarinaVanessa 12:53 PM 04-13-2010
Grrr. That would make me mad too! Honestly I have a clause that says that if they forget to bring something and I have in daycare or I have to buy it that they have to reimburse me for it. Could be something you would want to add to your contract. I still say that you should call her when the baby is fussy and have her pick the baby up. Otherwise tell her that you'll go buy the medicine and you're going to charge her for it and include mileage and time. Give her a choice. Either pick him up, bring me meds now or I will go and buy them and charge you and you owe me the money today!
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momma2girls 12:55 PM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Grrr. That would make me mad too! Honestly I have a clause that says that if they forget to bring something and I have in daycare or I have to buy it that they have to reimburse me for it. Could be something you would want to add to your contract. I still say that you should call her when the baby is fussy and have her pick the baby up. Otherwise tell her that you'll go buy the medicine and you're going to charge her for it and include mileage and time. Give her a choice. Either pick him up, bring me meds now or I will go and buy them and charge you and you owe me the money today!
I would totally do it as well.
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Crystal 01:51 PM 04-13-2010
I really feel that this is the parent's call....while it may be frustrating to the provider, the parent does have the right to say that she does not want her child medicated. Why would any provider think they have the right to override a parents beliefs, values, or choices about their child and demand that they provide or allow medicating of that child? We are not these children's parents, and while we, of course, have best intentions at heart, it is not our place to make these types of decisions for parents.
When it comes to things like this, I think the only thing a provider can VALIDLY require is that the parent's philosophy of care is the same as the providers or they cannot enroll in the program. It really baffles me how often I hear providers complaining about parents..........would you allow ANYONE to tell you how to parent?
BTW, teething occurred for THOUSANDS of years without pain meds and people survived....give him a frozen washcloth, a popsicle, something to chew on. Those are viable alternatives for a parent who doesn't choose to ue meds for minor pain.
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DBug 02:02 PM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I really feel that this is the parent's call....while it may be frustrating to the provider, the parent does have the right to say that she does not want her child medicated. Why would any provider think they have the right to override a parents beliefs, values, or choices about their child and demand that they provide or allow medicating of that child? We are not these children's parents, and while we, of course, have best intentions at heart, it is not our place to make these types of decisions for parents.
I totally agree with this! This is how I parent -- comfort measures before jumping to the medication. As a provider, I do the same. I try everything else before using medication. When those options aren't working, if I don't have permission to give Tylenol (or whatever), I call the parents. No child should be apart from his parents and his own bed when he's just plain miserable and in pain. I do make sure to tell parents that at their interview, though.
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momma2girls 02:03 PM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I really feel that this is the parent's call....while it may be frustrating to the provider, the parent does have the right to say that she does not want her child medicated. Why would any provider think they have the right to override a parents beliefs, values, or choices about their child and demand that they provide or allow medicating of that child? We are not these children's parents, and while we, of course, have best intentions at heart, it is not our place to make these types of decisions for parents.
When it comes to things like this, I think the only thing a provider can VALIDLY require is that the parent's philosophy of care is the same as the providers or they cannot enroll in the program. It really baffles me how often I hear providers complaining about parents..........would you allow ANYONE to tell you how to parent?
BTW, teething occurred for THOUSANDS of years without pain meds and people survived....give him a frozen washcloth, a popsicle, something to chew on. Those are viable alternatives for a parent who doesn't choose to ue meds for minor pain.
This is very true, but if it is disrupting her whole daycare with him screaming all day, it is a different story. He doesn't sleep, he just screams pretty much all day. The parent does have the ultimate decision, but buy the teeting tablets, dr. recommended and 100% safe, non medicine!! At least try this- it is not fair to the daycare provider, other parents that see this, Daycare children, etc..... Also this parent signed a release for the medicine when she first enrolled her child.
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Daycare Mommy 02:45 PM 04-13-2010
None of my business of course, but it really makes me wonder. Does this mom take meds when she has a headache? Cough syrup or decongestant when she's sick? I know some people go all natural and just don't do any meds. I respect that, but if she signed that release I doubt that is the case here. Will she medicate her child at all or is this just something that she doesn't think warrants it? Provider and parent need to talk this out to make sure they're not going to be at an impasse on this and save some time and head- and heartache with all that screaming going on.

If she continues to refuse to let the provider give meds, it's still unfair to expect a child in that much discomfort to tough it out in daycare with a bunch of other kids and a busy daycare provider instead of getting snuggles and one-on-one attention at home from mommy or daddy. I'd say, you don't want to medicate? That's fine. But if I she is inconsolably crying she cannot stay. I'd call to send home under the illness policy (which hopefully has the line about "if the child is overly fussy or irritable blah, blah, blah)

Another thought: Could this be a trust issue. Maybe they don't trust the provider not to overmedicate?
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momma2girls 03:13 PM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by DBug:
I totally agree with this! This is how I parent -- comfort measures before jumping to the medication. As a provider, I do the same. I try everything else before using medication. When those options aren't working, if I don't have permission to give Tylenol (or whatever), I call the parents. No child should be apart from his parents and his own bed when he's just plain miserable and in pain. I do make sure to tell parents that at their interview, though.
THis friend has tried everything, and has dealt with this for over 4 weeks now!!!
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momma2girls 03:16 PM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by Daycare Mommy:
None of my business of course, but it really makes me wonder. Does this mom take meds when she has a headache? Cough syrup or decongestant when she's sick? I know some people go all natural and just don't do any meds. I respect that, but if she signed that release I doubt that is the case here. Will she medicate her child at all or is this just something that she doesn't think warrants it? Provider and parent need to talk this out to make sure they're not going to be at an impasse on this and save some time and head- and heartache with all that screaming going on.

If she continues to refuse to let the provider give meds, it's still unfair to expect a child in that much discomfort to tough it out in daycare with a bunch of other kids and a busy daycare provider instead of getting snuggles and one-on-one attention at home from mommy or daddy. I'd say, you don't want to medicate? That's fine. But if I she is inconsolably crying she cannot stay. I'd call to send home under the illness policy (which hopefully has the line about "if the child is overly fussy or irritable blah, blah, blah)

Another thought: Could this be a trust issue. Maybe they don't trust the provider not to overmedicate?
No, the provider feels teeth coming in. I don't think it is a trust issue at all. I agree with you, do they not take Tylenol when they have a headache. When children are getting teeth in, this really truly hurts them!!
To think that the daycare provider should just deal with it, is not right. It is truly not fair to her, the other children, etc....
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Crystal 03:26 PM 04-13-2010
Just thinking, is she sure it's teething and not a child that is just overly fussy, been held too much, etc.? I wonder, because 4-5 months old seems rather young for teething and you siad it has been going on for a month no, which would mean even younger for teething.

And, as an aside, I never gave my children meds for teething. I honestly think that people rely too much on meds to get through minor pain. It's not healthy, IMO.
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AmandasFCC 04:51 PM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by :
, because 4-5 months old seems rather young for teething and you siad it has been going on for a month no, which would mean even younger for teething.
Not necessarily true. My dd started teething at 2 months, along with a lot of other babies I knew at the same time, and got her first tooth at 4.5 months ... If it's really bad, there's nothing wrong with giving something to help with the pain. I do agree with you, a lot of people totally overmedicate but there's nothing wrong with trying something to make the child comfortable.
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GretasLittleFriends 05:19 PM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I wonder, because 4-5 months old seems rather young for teething and you siad it has been going on for a month no, which would mean even younger for teething.
I think it depends on the child. My dd was 13 months before her first tooth came through. She was not overly fussy either. Just finally one day well after her 1st b-day you could see that first pearly white finally came through her gums.

My ds on the other hand you could see the little tooth nubs under his gums at 3 1/2 months and within his 4th month of life he had his bottom two centers and one of his top center teeth through. He was 5 months old when the other top center came in.

Originally Posted by Crystal:
And, as an aside, I never gave my children meds for teething. I honestly think that people rely too much on meds to get through minor pain. It's not healthy, IMO.
My dc provider highly recommended I use Highland's Teething Tablets for my son because he was overly cranky and fussy when his teeth were coming in. I didn't not want to constantly be giving him Tylenol or Motrin and have him growing immune to it.
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momma2girls 05:51 PM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by AmandasFCC:
Not necessarily true. My dd started teething at 2 months, along with a lot of other babies I knew at the same time, and got her first tooth at 4.5 months ... If it's really bad, there's nothing wrong with giving something to help with the pain. I do agree with you, a lot of people totally overmedicate but there's nothing wrong with trying something to make the child comfortable.
Some babies start teeting very young, and some when they are older. All 3 of my own started about 3 months and didn't get the 1st one til 6 months. The teeting tablets worked great for me, and alot of my friends as well.
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Crystal 07:04 AM 04-14-2010
I guess my kids and daycare kids were late bloomers, most I have known are at least 6-8 months, with the rare acception being younger, and many being older.....my own kids were almost one.

I have had some parents use the Highland's teething tablets, and I will certainly give it if a parent requests.....but I would also be supportive of a parent who chooses not to provide any type of meds. I know the teething tablets are homeopathic, meaning they are all natural....but they are also not regulated by the FDA, so that could be a parental concern as well.

I just think it's the parents right to make that decision, but I also agree that it's the providers right to not care for an overly fussy child. The provider has every right to say I won't care for your child, just as the parent has the right to say, I'll find another provider if you refuse to care for my child while he's teething because I don't use pain meds. Can you imagine how much time a parent would have to take off of work for teething? I don't know any parent who is willing to risk a job for a teething child.
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momma2girls 08:00 AM 04-14-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Just thinking, is she sure it's teething and not a child that is just overly fussy, been held too much, etc.? I wonder, because 4-5 months old seems rather young for teething and you siad it has been going on for a month no, which would mean even younger for teething.

And, as an aside, I never gave my children meds for teething. I honestly think that people rely too much on meds to get through minor pain. It's not healthy, IMO.
Yes, he is held all the time and rocked all the time at home. She does know that as well. He is now over 5 months and you can feel and see teeth coming in.
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tymaboy 09:02 AM 04-14-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Just thinking, is she sure it's teething and not a child that is just overly fussy, been held too much, etc.? I wonder, because 4-5 months old seems rather young for teething and you siad it has been going on for a month no, which would mean even younger for teething.

And, as an aside, I never gave my children meds for teething. I honestly think that people rely too much on meds to get through minor pain. It's not healthy, IMO.
The DCG I had in care had 4 teeth when she was 3-4 months old. They all came in on the same weekend. I was so glad it happened on the weekend & not during the week when she would have been in care.
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TGT09 10:03 AM 04-14-2010
OK, back to my organic family I have here. They do not believe in medicating for minor things (such as teething) so I have to agree with the ones that say this is absolutely a parent's decision.

HOWEVER, I love Hyland's teething tablets and they are completely safe and are as natural as they come. Pair that with anbesol and dck should get a fairly good amount of relief.

When talking about if the parent takes meds when she has a headache....this is besides the fact. The mother may not follow this protocol for herself but she may want better for her child to not have all the toxins that she has already ingested most of her life. I myself am slightly organic but would love my kids to be all organic.
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MarinaVanessa 10:15 AM 04-14-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I really feel that this is the parent's call....while it may be frustrating to the provider, the parent does have the right to say that she does not want her child medicated. Why would any provider think they have the right to override a parents beliefs, values, or choices about their child and demand that they provide or allow medicating of that child? We are not these children's parents, and while we, of course, have best intentions at heart, it is not our place to make these types of decisions for parents.
When it comes to things like this, I think the only thing a provider can VALIDLY require is that the parent's philosophy of care is the same as the providers or they cannot enroll in the program. It really baffles me how often I hear providers complaining about parents..........would you allow ANYONE to tell you how to parent?
BTW, teething occurred for THOUSANDS of years without pain meds and people survived....give him a frozen washcloth, a popsicle, something to chew on. Those are viable alternatives for a parent who doesn't choose to ue meds for minor pain.
Yes it is the parent's call but when you take care of many children you can't neglect them because of one fussy teething baby. I never gave my daughter medication either until recently when she turned 5 but I would have never expected my child care provider to have to deal with the issue of teething or her feeling sick and whiney. I stayed home from work when she'd be sick. When she was teething I bought teething gel and allowed my provider to administer it but wouldn't do it at home myself. I also baught her teething toys that were ribbed and vibrated to relieve the pain at daycare but again, wouldn't use meds at home.

I have a clause in my handbook that goes along with my sick policy. On top of the regular symptoms for exclusion I added "Too tired or fussy to participate in normal activities". It is unfair for any child especially such a young one to be left somewhere only to be uncomfortable. Children in pain should be comforted and I know in my situation I wouldn't have the resources or time to be able to care for a baby like this that I couldn't give something to. I would feel just afwul if nothing I did worked.
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misol 12:40 PM 04-14-2010
Originally Posted by DBug:
I totally agree with this! This is how I parent -- comfort measures before jumping to the medication. As a provider, I do the same. I try everything else before using medication. When those options aren't working, if I don't have permission to give Tylenol (or whatever), I call the parents. No child should be apart from his parents and his own bed when he's just plain miserable and in pain. I do make sure to tell parents that at their interview, though.
I am 100% on board with Crystal and Dbug.
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Tags:anbesol, medication, teething tablets, tylenol
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