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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>School Age Child Who is Homeschooled
momofboys 08:07 AM 01-26-2010
I started providing care for a new family last week. They are here 4 days a week from 7:30-4:15. The older daughter was being homeschooled (she's 8 & in second grade). In the fall they plan to enroll her in a private school. So they are continuing with the homeschooling. During our initial interview I opened my big mouth & said I could assist with the HS. I NEVER said I could do it all. But now I feel a lot of pressure based on notes the mom is sending me. When I said I would help I thought oh one day I can do spelling, the next day math & mom & dad will finish the rest at home. Uh, no. They follow a curriculum for the schooling & they send EVERYTHING with them to me. They do realize I have 2 or 3 other children here depending on what day it is in addition to my own toddler. So my only time to work on it is my only time of day for downtime (naptime). Mom told me it typically takes 1.5-2 hrs to do it all. I told her outright I would set a time (30-45 min) a day but beyond that I couldn't complete it all. I don't mind helping her with it; it is sort of fun. But I feel a lot of pressure that they expect me to get it all done here. Another aspect that concerns me is I have two school age kids of my own. One is in 2nd grade like this girl the other is in K. My K age son reads as well as this girl. I wonder if the mom realizes that the daughter is behind. Ahhhh. Does anyone have any suggestions? Like I said I do not have a problem helping her but it's not like I am getting paid extra to give up most of my time to eat lunch/tidy up & catch a break. I had planned on the daughter doing some of the schooling on her own while I did these things but she requires a lot of guidance.
laundryduchess@yahoo.com 09:17 AM 01-26-2010
I would tell her exactly what you told us. In a fashion of course. Just tell her that you do not mind helping her with spelling words (which I dont believe in but that is my own issue) lol. That you can make sure she reads to you but any academic work that needs one on one attention needs done at home.
MarinaVanessa 09:25 AM 01-26-2010
Sounds like they do expect a lot from you. I also have a time after-school where the older kids will do school work and I will help them with questions. I set this time to coincide with a quiet activity or free play for the younger ones so that if a child has homework questions I can help. I also, however, make it clear that it is only meant as "help". I had a parent that expected her third-grader to have his homework finished by the time he was picked up at 5. I had to remind her that I can only assist and even then I could only help on homework during the 45 minute free-play/quiet activity but that I also had to spread my attention evenly to the other kids in the daycare. She could then help him finish his homework when they got home. Just smile but be firm. Kill 'em with kindness and they'll see they are expecting a lot.
momma2girls 09:39 AM 01-26-2010
Originally Posted by janarae:
I started providing care for a new family last week. They are here 4 days a week from 7:30-4:15. The older daughter was being homeschooled (she's 8 & in second grade). In the fall they plan to enroll her in a private school. So they are continuing with the homeschooling. During our initial interview I opened my big mouth & said I could assist with the HS. I NEVER said I could do it all. But now I feel a lot of pressure based on notes the mom is sending me. When I said I would help I thought oh one day I can do spelling, the next day math & mom & dad will finish the rest at home. Uh, no. They follow a curriculum for the schooling & they send EVERYTHING with them to me. They do realize I have 2 or 3 other children here depending on what day it is in addition to my own toddler. So my only time to work on it is my only time of day for downtime (naptime). Mom told me it typically takes 1.5-2 hrs to do it all. I told her outright I would set a time (30-45 min) a day but beyond that I couldn't complete it all. I don't mind helping her with it; it is sort of fun. But I feel a lot of pressure that they expect me to get it all done here. Another aspect that concerns me is I have two school age kids of my own. One is in 2nd grade like this girl the other is in K. My K age son reads as well as this girl. I wonder if the mom realizes that the daughter is behind. Ahhhh. Does anyone have any suggestions? Like I said I do not have a problem helping her but it's not like I am getting paid extra to give up most of my time to eat lunch/tidy up & catch a break. I had planned on the daughter doing some of the schooling on her own while I did these things but she requires a lot of guidance.
I would never do this!!!!I started providing care for a new family last week. They are here 4 days a week from 7:30-4:15. The older daughter was being homeschooled (she's 8 & in second grade). In the fall they plan to enroll her in a private school. So they are continuing with the homeschooling. During our initial interview I opened my big mouth & said I could assist with the HS. I NEVER said I could do it all. But now I feel a lot of pressure based on notes the mom is sending me. When I said I would help I thought oh one day I can do spelling, the next day math & mom & dad will finish the rest at home. Uh, no. They follow a curriculum for the schooling & they send EVERYTHING with them to me. They do realize I have 2 or 3 other children here depending on what day it is in addition to my own toddler. So my only time to work on it is my only time of day for downtime (naptime). Mom told me it typically takes 1.5-2 hrs to do it all. I told her outright I would set a time (30-45 min) a day but beyond that I couldn't complete it all. I don't mind helping her with it; it is sort of fun. But I feel a lot of pressure that they expect me to get it all done here. Another aspect that concerns me is I have two school age kids of my own. One is in 2nd grade like this girl the other is in K. My K age son reads as well as this girl. I wonder if the mom realizes that the daughter is behind. Ahhhh. Does anyone have any suggestions? Like I said I do not have a problem helping her but it's not like I am getting paid extra to give up most of my time to eat lunch/tidy up & catch a break. I had planned on the daughter doing some of the schooling on her own while I did these things but she requires a lot of guidance.
mamajennleigh 09:44 AM 01-26-2010
Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
I would never do this!!!!
I homeschooled my kids for a time, and depending on what state you live in, it may even be illegal for her to have you doing the bulk or majority of their homeschool work.I would never do this!!!!
In either case, I wouldn't do it, period. You said you have a toddler of your own plus other daycare kids? Not fair to them. The mom needs to do the HOME schooling at HOME.
I think you're a doll for even offering to help with it, and it sounds like she's taking advantage!
My4SunshineGirlsNY 10:17 AM 01-26-2010
It's never comfortable when you need to tell a mom they expect too much from you. It's a hard place to be in, especially since they are new and you're trying to still form that parent/caregiver bond.
I don't think it's at all fair for you to do it all...and for her to expect that is not right. You are a daycare provider, getting paid a lot less than a teacher I would assume (I know I do!!). You don't get paid enough to do an entire curriculum on one child.
Maybe you could let her know you have to make some adjustments to accomodate ALL the kids in your care, including your own, and you are going to create your own daycare curriculum and won't be able to do a single child curriculum because the other kids are left out.
If she's sincere, she'll understand....if not, it's not worth busting your butt over...it's one thing to help, but another to expect too much out of one caregiver when there is a handful of other kids to look after.
I don't think it's at all fair for you to do it all...and for her to expect that is not right. You are a daycare provider, getting paid a lot less than a teacher I would assume (I know I do!!). You don't get paid enough to do an entire curriculum on one child.
Maybe you could let her know you have to make some adjustments to accomodate ALL the kids in your care, including your own, and you are going to create your own daycare curriculum and won't be able to do a single child curriculum because the other kids are left out.
If she's sincere, she'll understand....if not, it's not worth busting your butt over...it's one thing to help, but another to expect too much out of one caregiver when there is a handful of other kids to look after.
mamajennleigh 10:30 AM 01-26-2010
Very well said my4sunshinegirlsny!
momofsix 11:01 AM 01-26-2010
I homeschooled my daughters for 9 years. Homeschool means school at HOME! If mom can't do it, then she needs to hire someone to teach her daughter, not send her to daycare.
That mother is taking advantage of you, and as was mentioned before, possibly breaking the law. She knew her daughter was unable to work on her own when she sent her to you.
That mother is taking advantage of you, and as was mentioned before, possibly breaking the law. She knew her daughter was unable to work on her own when she sent her to you.
momofboys 08:03 PM 01-26-2010
Thanks ladies for all your replies. I truly appreciate the perspective. 
Not sure how I plan to handle this. I was doing what I considered the "easy" schoolwork & leaving the rest to do at home. Anyway, when mom came in yesterday (they are her Tue-Fri) her note with the schoolwork said something about how she would appreciate me doing the subjects that are hardest (not hardest but that the girl needs to focus on more). I guess I am really feeling like this is TOO much. I admit I am a people pleaser & want to be helpful. I think for now I will just stick with what I am doing which is helping her for 30 min a day. I write down what we get done for mom to see & I also write "no time for anything else" after I have written what we've completed. And it's totally true b/c I won't deny myself the chance for a break.
My4Sunshinegirls, thanks for your insight. It is hard to tell mom that this is too much! I had told her it was overwhelming (big clue, mom!) the first day she dropped off her big backpack of books & she's mentioned that what we don't do here she will do at home. I also told her that I would only work so long with her. But I still feel the pressure nonetheless. I think I will talk with her tomorrow though. It is seriously stesssing me out!
Not sure how I plan to handle this. I was doing what I considered the "easy" schoolwork & leaving the rest to do at home. Anyway, when mom came in yesterday (they are her Tue-Fri) her note with the schoolwork said something about how she would appreciate me doing the subjects that are hardest (not hardest but that the girl needs to focus on more). I guess I am really feeling like this is TOO much. I admit I am a people pleaser & want to be helpful. I think for now I will just stick with what I am doing which is helping her for 30 min a day. I write down what we get done for mom to see & I also write "no time for anything else" after I have written what we've completed. And it's totally true b/c I won't deny myself the chance for a break.My4Sunshinegirls, thanks for your insight. It is hard to tell mom that this is too much! I had told her it was overwhelming (big clue, mom!) the first day she dropped off her big backpack of books & she's mentioned that what we don't do here she will do at home. I also told her that I would only work so long with her. But I still feel the pressure nonetheless. I think I will talk with her tomorrow though. It is seriously stesssing me out!
originalkat 09:29 PM 01-26-2010
I plan on homeschooling my two girls and have 4 kids I care for in my home daycare. THey are still young, but when they get older I plan on doing the bulk of the teaching/instructing during naptime and they can do individual work at other times during the day. This is a priority for me and our family so I give up my "break" during nap for that. However, I think this mom is expecting too much of you. Like someone else said...the mom knew she would need a lot of direction and If I were you I wouldnt give up my naptime to devote to working with her either. It is the parents responsibility to teach her and they should hire a tutor if they dont have time for it. Just keep doing what you are doing--whatever little things you have time for-- and send the rest home. The mom will get the hint sooner or later. At least we HOPE!!
Chickenhauler 11:14 PM 01-26-2010
Originally Posted by janarae:
Thanks ladies for all your replies. I truly appreciate the perspective. Not sure how I plan to handle this. I was doing what I considered the "easy" schoolwork & leaving the rest to do at home. Anyway, when mom came in yesterday (they are her Tue-Fri) her note with the schoolwork said something about how she would appreciate me doing the subjects that are hardest (not hardest but that the girl needs to focus on more). I guess I am really feeling like this is TOO much. I admit I am a people pleaser & want to be helpful. I think for now I will just stick with what I am doing which is helping her for 30 min a day. I write down what we get done for mom to see & I also write "no time for anything else" after I have written what we've completed. And it's totally true b/c I won't deny myself the chance for a break.
My4Sunshinegirls, thanks for your insight. It is hard to tell mom that this is too much! I had told her it was overwhelming (big clue, mom!) the first day she dropped off her big backpack of books & she's mentioned that what we don't do here she will do at home. I also told her that I would only work so long with her. But I still feel the pressure nonetheless. I think I will talk with her tomorrow though. It is seriously stesssing me out!
A simple note explaining.Thanks ladies for all your replies. I truly appreciate the perspective.
Not sure how I plan to handle this. I was doing what I considered the "easy" schoolwork & leaving the rest to do at home. Anyway, when mom came in yesterday (they are her Tue-Fri) her note with the schoolwork said something about how she would appreciate me doing the subjects that are hardest (not hardest but that the girl needs to focus on more). I guess I am really feeling like this is TOO much. I admit I am a people pleaser & want to be helpful. I think for now I will just stick with what I am doing which is helping her for 30 min a day. I write down what we get done for mom to see & I also write "no time for anything else" after I have written what we've completed. And it's totally true b/c I won't deny myself the chance for a break.My4Sunshinegirls, thanks for your insight. It is hard to tell mom that this is too much! I had told her it was overwhelming (big clue, mom!) the first day she dropped off her big backpack of books & she's mentioned that what we don't do here she will do at home. I also told her that I would only work so long with her. But I still feel the pressure nonetheless. I think I will talk with her tomorrow though. It is seriously stesssing me out!
Word it like this:
When you first came here, I agreed to help with your choice to HOME school your child, but maybe I wasn't clear....I am not a full time teacher, nor am I tutor...nor are you being charged for one. I agreed to HELP YOU, not do everything FOR YOU. I am a daycare provider, which means my primary function is to provide a safe, clean, healthy place for yours and others children to be when they are at work.
My first priority is to that duty, and I think I need to clarify that if that duty leaves me with little or no time to assist in your family's choice of education, then maybe my daycare is not the right choice for you.
While this may seem harsh, please keep in mind that the fees you are paying me are for child care, not a teaching position....you children are receiving the exact same care as anyone else's kids in my home, and if anything, getting more and taking time from other kids because of this demand you have placed upon me. I don't feel it's fair to me, your child, or the other children.
Pammie 03:58 AM 01-27-2010
Janarae,
In Ohio, the laws state that for homeschooled children, the PARENTS must be the primary educators for their children. They can hire professionally certified teachers to cover a subject or two such as math or science or health, but the predominate and majority of the education MUST be done by the parents.
You are breaking the law (along with the parents) by taking on the schooling of this child. And I really hate to see you get yourself in trouble with the state when annual testing (and homeschooled children in Ohio must take annual placement tests) is done and it's reported that the majority of this child's schooling was done at daycare.
I would simply inform the parents that Ohio State Law prohibits *you* from educating their child, and with that information, you can no longer do it. That simply stated.
Good luck to you,
From one Buckeye to another
Hugs
Pammie
In Ohio, the laws state that for homeschooled children, the PARENTS must be the primary educators for their children. They can hire professionally certified teachers to cover a subject or two such as math or science or health, but the predominate and majority of the education MUST be done by the parents.
You are breaking the law (along with the parents) by taking on the schooling of this child. And I really hate to see you get yourself in trouble with the state when annual testing (and homeschooled children in Ohio must take annual placement tests) is done and it's reported that the majority of this child's schooling was done at daycare.
I would simply inform the parents that Ohio State Law prohibits *you* from educating their child, and with that information, you can no longer do it. That simply stated.
Good luck to you,
From one Buckeye to another
Hugs
Pammie
momofboys 05:42 PM 01-27-2010
Thanks everyone! In essence I did tell her I would not be able to complete all the work. I told her that I would certainly help, if able, but that I couldn't be responsible for the bulk of it. I don't think she was too pleased which frankly ticks me off b/c I felt like I was doing a favor to offer to help her daughter with it. I told her I would help her read & with some of the math. But the science/history/other lessons would need to be done at home. She actually said something about how it would be nice if she could complete it here (as in all of it). I don't think she understands what it is like to have 4-5 preschoolers in your home everyday. I simply don't have the time & I need to take a break too. She & I attended the same small college together so we were acquaintances (both English majors). I am sure that was why she felt I would be a good choice to help her daughter BUT she came to me for childcare services NOT for tutoring/schooling. I should tell her (jokingly, b/c I really don't have the time) that if she wants me to do all the HS I would be happy to if she pays me an extra $20/hr for all time put in.
The funny part is I actually gave her daughter a slight discount b/c she is older & I thought she would be less trouble. Turns out I should be raising her rate! My husband agreed with me that if the mom gives me any trouble about it he is okay with me ditching them. I really don't need the stress of this mom coming in looking to see if we completed all the assignments or not.
The funny part is I actually gave her daughter a slight discount b/c she is older & I thought she would be less trouble. Turns out I should be raising her rate! My husband agreed with me that if the mom gives me any trouble about it he is okay with me ditching them. I really don't need the stress of this mom coming in looking to see if we completed all the assignments or not.
momofboys 05:44 PM 01-27-2010
Originally Posted by Chickenhauler:
A simple note explaining.
Word it like this:
When you first came here, I agreed to help with your choice to HOME school your child, but maybe I wasn't clear....I am not a full time teacher, nor am I tutor...nor are you being charged for one. I agreed to HELP YOU, not do everything FOR YOU. I am a daycare provider, which means my primary function is to provide a safe, clean, healthy place for yours and others children to be when they are at work.
My first priority is to that duty, and I think I need to clarify that if that duty leaves me with little or no time to assist in your family's choice of education, then maybe my daycare is not the right choice for you.
While this may seem harsh, please keep in mind that the fees you are paying me are for child care, not a teaching position....you children are receiving the exact same care as anyone else's kids in my home, and if anything, getting more and taking time from other kids because of this demand you have placed upon me. I don't feel it's fair to me, your child, or the other children.
In total agreement with you! This is very well put!A simple note explaining.
Word it like this:
When you first came here, I agreed to help with your choice to HOME school your child, but maybe I wasn't clear....I am not a full time teacher, nor am I tutor...nor are you being charged for one. I agreed to HELP YOU, not do everything FOR YOU. I am a daycare provider, which means my primary function is to provide a safe, clean, healthy place for yours and others children to be when they are at work.
My first priority is to that duty, and I think I need to clarify that if that duty leaves me with little or no time to assist in your family's choice of education, then maybe my daycare is not the right choice for you.
While this may seem harsh, please keep in mind that the fees you are paying me are for child care, not a teaching position....you children are receiving the exact same care as anyone else's kids in my home, and if anything, getting more and taking time from other kids because of this demand you have placed upon me. I don't feel it's fair to me, your child, or the other children.
momofboys 05:45 PM 01-27-2010
Originally Posted by Pammie:
Janarae,
In Ohio, the laws state that for homeschooled children, the PARENTS must be the primary educators for their children. They can hire professionally certified teachers to cover a subject or two such as math or science or health, but the predominate and majority of the education MUST be done by the parents.
You are breaking the law (along with the parents) by taking on the schooling of this child. And I really hate to see you get yourself in trouble with the state when annual testing (and homeschooled children in Ohio must take annual placement tests) is done and it's reported that the majority of this child's schooling was done at daycare.
I would simply inform the parents that Ohio State Law prohibits *you* from educating their child, and with that information, you can no longer do it. That simply stated.
Good luck to you,
From one Buckeye to another
Hugs
Pammie
I will have to mention this to the mom. Thank you! Can you give me any resources that support this? Thank you in advance. Go Bucks!Janarae,
In Ohio, the laws state that for homeschooled children, the PARENTS must be the primary educators for their children. They can hire professionally certified teachers to cover a subject or two such as math or science or health, but the predominate and majority of the education MUST be done by the parents.
You are breaking the law (along with the parents) by taking on the schooling of this child. And I really hate to see you get yourself in trouble with the state when annual testing (and homeschooled children in Ohio must take annual placement tests) is done and it's reported that the majority of this child's schooling was done at daycare.
I would simply inform the parents that Ohio State Law prohibits *you* from educating their child, and with that information, you can no longer do it. That simply stated.
Good luck to you,
From one Buckeye to another
Hugs
Pammie
Pammie 07:26 PM 01-27-2010
momofboys 03:43 AM 01-28-2010
Originally Posted by Pammie:
http://www.hslda.org/laws/analysis/Ohio.pdf
Refer to "definitions" in statute #1
Thank you!http://www.hslda.org/laws/analysis/Ohio.pdf
Refer to "definitions" in statute #1
momofboys 10:49 AM 01-28-2010
I'm going to be totally honest with you. Keeping "Sally" focused on her schoolwork is very difficult & time-consuming. Since most of the work needs to be read to her (side note - I totally don;t agree with this-she should be reading it herself) it's a big time commitment. I am happy to assist to a point but it can not be my top priority. My top priority has to be doing activities with all the children. During naptime (if everyone naps & we all know some kids take short naps or NO naps) I may have 30-45 min to assist her. That timeframe is my only time during the day to refresh myself/grab a bite to eat/prepare afternoon craft activities/clean up from lunch. I'm happy to guide her if she can work independently but so far that hasn't been the case.
How can I word this properly? I don't want to sound harsh. I may incorporate some of what you had mentioned Chickenhauler. Hmmmmm
How can I word this properly? I don't want to sound harsh. I may incorporate some of what you had mentioned Chickenhauler. Hmmmmm
mamajennleigh 11:15 AM 01-28-2010
I totally agree with Chicken Hauler's post above. Maybe I would word it a bit differently, but it is spot-on. What is sounds like this girl needs is a private tutor, someone who is there just to see to it that she comprehends and does what's expected of her. I would be amazed if the mom didn't already know this.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around how she is homeschooled and goes to daycare. I homeschooled my boys once upon a time and met many many parents who did the same, and I can tell you not one of them had a set-up like yours; they all did their OWN homeschooling, even the ones who had to work during the day would come home and do the homeschooling in the evenings. If it is important enough to this mother to keep her child out of a traditional school setting, it should be important enough to her to do it herself.
I would word it in a way that doesn't put the mother on the defense, necessarily, although that should not be your primary concern when talking to her. Here is what I would say:
"Mrs. Homeschooler, I believe we may have had a bit of a misunderstanding with regards to Sally's home school workload. When we spoke about it initially, I was under the impression that you understood I would be able to assist Sally in doing her work only when our regular schedule permitted. If I misunderstood you, I will apologize in advance.
I hope you know that I love children and I really want what's best for them. I never want to look back and wonder if I could have done better by a child that was in my care. That's the reason I wanted to speak with you about Sally. In the last x days, I have tried to take on the bulk of Sally's school work, and I have found that I am not able to fully provide what Sally needs in order to get all of her work done, and done properly. I am here to provide all of the children in my care with a safe, secure, and loving environment to play and learn, grow and flourish. In order to do that, I have to give each of my children individual attention and care, as well as attention to them as a group. I am not able to do that, and at the same time give Sally all of the attention that is required in order to do the bulk of her home schooling while she is here during the day. I wouldn't be doing right by the other children in my care, including my own little one, and I certainly wouldn't be doing right by Sally, either. I am not a school teacher nor a tutor, and based on the laws of our state, I am not qualified to lead her homeschooling on a daily basis.
Now, having said that, I would be more than happy to pick one subject (maybe one she is having trouble in?) and help her for 30 minutes or so a day, in order to reinforce what she is already learning through her regular home schooling, but I will not be able to commit more than that, as it wouldn't be fair to the other children in my care, and it wouldn't be fair to Sally as I wouldn't be able to give her my full attention. As you probably know, I can't count on the other children taking full naps (or even naps at all for that matter!) every day, so assisting Sally on the days we are able to would be something I would look forward to doing!
I appreciate your understanding and look really forward to helping Sally in a way that benefits her as well as the other children in my care."
Well, at least that's what I would say
.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around how she is homeschooled and goes to daycare. I homeschooled my boys once upon a time and met many many parents who did the same, and I can tell you not one of them had a set-up like yours; they all did their OWN homeschooling, even the ones who had to work during the day would come home and do the homeschooling in the evenings. If it is important enough to this mother to keep her child out of a traditional school setting, it should be important enough to her to do it herself.
I would word it in a way that doesn't put the mother on the defense, necessarily, although that should not be your primary concern when talking to her. Here is what I would say:
"Mrs. Homeschooler, I believe we may have had a bit of a misunderstanding with regards to Sally's home school workload. When we spoke about it initially, I was under the impression that you understood I would be able to assist Sally in doing her work only when our regular schedule permitted. If I misunderstood you, I will apologize in advance.
I hope you know that I love children and I really want what's best for them. I never want to look back and wonder if I could have done better by a child that was in my care. That's the reason I wanted to speak with you about Sally. In the last x days, I have tried to take on the bulk of Sally's school work, and I have found that I am not able to fully provide what Sally needs in order to get all of her work done, and done properly. I am here to provide all of the children in my care with a safe, secure, and loving environment to play and learn, grow and flourish. In order to do that, I have to give each of my children individual attention and care, as well as attention to them as a group. I am not able to do that, and at the same time give Sally all of the attention that is required in order to do the bulk of her home schooling while she is here during the day. I wouldn't be doing right by the other children in my care, including my own little one, and I certainly wouldn't be doing right by Sally, either. I am not a school teacher nor a tutor, and based on the laws of our state, I am not qualified to lead her homeschooling on a daily basis.
Now, having said that, I would be more than happy to pick one subject (maybe one she is having trouble in?) and help her for 30 minutes or so a day, in order to reinforce what she is already learning through her regular home schooling, but I will not be able to commit more than that, as it wouldn't be fair to the other children in my care, and it wouldn't be fair to Sally as I wouldn't be able to give her my full attention. As you probably know, I can't count on the other children taking full naps (or even naps at all for that matter!) every day, so assisting Sally on the days we are able to would be something I would look forward to doing!
I appreciate your understanding and look really forward to helping Sally in a way that benefits her as well as the other children in my care."
Well, at least that's what I would say
.
mac60 11:36 AM 01-28-2010
While I think you did a really GOOD job on your letter explaining everything, I personally think you should write a much shorter version and be straightforward........this isn't working and that while you can assist her as needed as she works on her own, you can not be the "teacher". Simple and to the point. Good luck which ever way you do it. 
mamajennleigh 11:48 AM 01-28-2010
Sorry, Mac60, I tend to be a little long-winded lol! I agree with you, though, short and to the point is probably a better route.
originalkat 03:38 PM 01-28-2010
I would avoid a letter altogether. I would just tell her in person. Direct and to the point. If she sends the schoolwork, dont worry about it. You already told her you would not be completing it at daycare. The worst she can do is leave...but it doesn't sound like she is going to do that. Tell her and leave it alone.
momofboys 08:12 PM 02-14-2010
Hi all! I just wanted to post an update about what happened in regards to this. I didn't give the mom a note although at first I intended to. What I did do was tell her I could help with 1 subject but other than that there was no way I could complete all the work considering some days I have 3 other kids. Mom seemed fine with this arrangement & for the next week or 2 she would bring 1 or 2 (yes, you read right, 2) subjects with her. Anyway, we would have some time to work on the schooling but some days we did not have anytime. This past week my older boys' school was cancelled 3 days b/c of inclement weather so I had a houseful! Definitely no time for schoolwork with extra bodies! I was thinking mom understood, I have no idea how she thinks a daycare works. . . but clearly she doesn't. Not sure why I would expect her to. So out of the blue she tells me that the daughter that I help w/schooling will be going to a SIL's (sister-in-law) home, apparently SIL can help with the schoolwork. I was slightly ticked b/c #1. She gave me NO notice at all & #2 She said something about how SIL would work with her to catch her back up. This family has only been with me about 4 weeks now, there is no way she got that behind in 4 weeks. She got behind b/c I don't think anyone else did any work with her other than me for those 4 weeks. Anyway, to be honest I do feel relieved. She was a great kid but considering she was 8 & didn't nap it made it hard to get a break. Now I can go back to more restful afternoons.
Persephone 04:24 AM 02-15-2010
Originally Posted by janarae:
Hi all! I just wanted to post an update about what happened in regards to this. I didn't give the mom a note although at first I intended to. What I did do was tell her I could help with 1 subject but other than that there was no way I could complete all the work considering some days I have 3 other kids. Mom seemed fine with this arrangement & for the next week or 2 she would bring 1 or 2 (yes, you read right, 2) subjects with her. Anyway, we would have some time to work on the schooling but some days we did not have anytime. This past week my older boys' school was cancelled 3 days b/c of inclement weather so I had a houseful! Definitely no time for schoolwork with extra bodies! I was thinking mom understood, I have no idea how she thinks a daycare works. . . but clearly she doesn't. Not sure why I would expect her to. So out of the blue she tells me that the daughter that I help w/schooling will be going to a SIL's (sister-in-law) home, apparently SIL can help with the schoolwork. I was slightly ticked b/c #1. She gave me NO notice at all & #2 She said something about how SIL would work with her to catch her back up. This family has only been with me about 4 weeks now, there is no way she got that behind in 4 weeks. She got behind b/c I don't think anyone else did any work with her other than me for those 4 weeks. Anyway, to be honest I do feel relieved. She was a great kid but considering she was 8 & didn't nap it made it hard to get a break. Now I can go back to more restful afternoons.
So there were two children right? The girl and her brother? Will he still come to you? Did you have a contract saying they had to gie two weeks? Hi all! I just wanted to post an update about what happened in regards to this. I didn't give the mom a note although at first I intended to. What I did do was tell her I could help with 1 subject but other than that there was no way I could complete all the work considering some days I have 3 other kids. Mom seemed fine with this arrangement & for the next week or 2 she would bring 1 or 2 (yes, you read right, 2) subjects with her. Anyway, we would have some time to work on the schooling but some days we did not have anytime. This past week my older boys' school was cancelled 3 days b/c of inclement weather so I had a houseful! Definitely no time for schoolwork with extra bodies! I was thinking mom understood, I have no idea how she thinks a daycare works. . . but clearly she doesn't. Not sure why I would expect her to. So out of the blue she tells me that the daughter that I help w/schooling will be going to a SIL's (sister-in-law) home, apparently SIL can help with the schoolwork. I was slightly ticked b/c #1. She gave me NO notice at all & #2 She said something about how SIL would work with her to catch her back up. This family has only been with me about 4 weeks now, there is no way she got that behind in 4 weeks. She got behind b/c I don't think anyone else did any work with her other than me for those 4 weeks. Anyway, to be honest I do feel relieved. She was a great kid but considering she was 8 & didn't nap it made it hard to get a break. Now I can go back to more restful afternoons.
That's crazy that she thought that you could do more then that!
DBug 05:23 AM 02-15-2010
This mom just boggles my mind! Would she expect someone else to breastfeed her child too? Her expectations are way out of whack, and I'm happy for your sake that she's found someone else to do her job. Homeschooling is a choice that really needs to be thought through completely, and parents need to make sure they have the financial means and the time to do the job right. Otherwise, the child is the one that suffers.
You've been more than accommodating already, and I think that's great -- I'm just sorry the mom didn't clue in!
However, congratulations on getting nap time back! Enjoy
You've been more than accommodating already, and I think that's great -- I'm just sorry the mom didn't clue in!
However, congratulations on getting nap time back! Enjoy
momofboys 06:17 AM 02-15-2010
Originally Posted by Persephone:
So there were two children right? The girl and her brother? Will he still come to you? Did you have a contract saying they had to gie two weeks?
That's crazy that she thought that you could do more then that!
Yes, there were two girls. The 3 year old will still come. . . she is wonderful, naps well, etc!!! The mom has a "Credit" but I don't plan to give it to her since she gave me no notice. This week when the one daughter comes I will just expect payment for her. Nope, I don't have a 2 week notice but I am new at this & I a am slowly learning that I need to re-do everything (contract-wise). I guess I just thought it would be common courtesy. I would NEVER consider telling any of my families that I was stopping childcare immediately without giving them 1-2 weeks notice. I think it should work both ways.So there were two children right? The girl and her brother? Will he still come to you? Did you have a contract saying they had to gie two weeks?
That's crazy that she thought that you could do more then that!
Persephone 06:38 AM 02-15-2010
Originally Posted by janarae:
Yes, there were two girls. The 3 year old will still come. . . she is wonderful, naps well, etc!!! The mom has a "Credit" but I don't plan to give it to her since she gave me no notice. This week when the one daughter comes I will just expect payment for her. Nope, I don't have a 2 week notice but I am new at this & I a am slowly learning that I need to re-do everything (contract-wise). I guess I just thought it would be common courtesy. I would NEVER consider telling any of my families that I was stopping childcare immediately without giving them 1-2 weeks notice. I think it should work both ways.
Well at least your not loosing all your money on that family since one will still come. Yes, there were two girls. The 3 year old will still come. . . she is wonderful, naps well, etc!!! The mom has a "Credit" but I don't plan to give it to her since she gave me no notice. This week when the one daughter comes I will just expect payment for her. Nope, I don't have a 2 week notice but I am new at this & I a am slowly learning that I need to re-do everything (contract-wise). I guess I just thought it would be common courtesy. I would NEVER consider telling any of my families that I was stopping childcare immediately without giving them 1-2 weeks notice. I think it should work both ways.
I'm sorry but if you want to home school, you (the parents) need to be the one doing the schooling, not a caregiver, not a SIL, YOU!