So I'm wondering if I blew it...

dcm called for a second interview so I can meet the baby. I told her I did have a car seat that a friend of mine gave me that was barely used. She didn't use it that long. So I told her she could look at it and if she was okay with it she wouldn't have to buy a second seat. I transport daily to pick up and drop off my dd at school beginning in Aug.

She said that she trusted me but she wasn't sure how much longer he would be in. I told her that now they have extended the guidelines for rear facing. That legally it is 12 months and x pounds, they recommend keeping them rear facing as long as possible and the seat I got is up to 35lbs. I also told her that my own daughter got the graco my ride 65 that was rear facing up to 40 lbs (or something like that). She is no longer rear facing, although I wish she was. Her car seat was too big for my car to keep her rear facing. So I moved her forward. When I got my SUV she wouldn't turn back around. Although I'm tempted to try again.

So, anyway, I told her that they said that it is better to break a leg than the hurt the neck or back. But she said she didn't think her son would have anything to do with that and would scream. And I told her that I understood but in my car we would stay rear facing. She then said she didn't want him screaming the entire time and I told her of course not. I woudln't torture him!

But then I don't remember what she said but then I told her I had to go because we had just gotten home. So I'm thinking that conversation didn't go very well. She's coming on Friday so there is almost a whole week for her and I to stew over the conversation. I was thinking of sending her a follow up email telling her that I do think rear facing is the safest method of tranportation, however I will follow her wishes if he starts screaming or is unhappy in the rear facing position. And that she may provide a car seat for him to sit in and I will use it. Or she can use the one I have until he reaches the weight and size limit.

Not he's only 4 months old, so there's a LOOOOOng time to go until he's one. SO this shoudln't even be an issue right now. Should I send the email, or let it go and wait until Fri. Or should I stick by my guns and ask her to speak to her pediatrician about it when she goes for his physical? I do believe in rear facing, but legally he can be forward facing at one year and he will surely be over the weight limit by then. He's a big boy.

What would you do in this situation?

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I would say this: "The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends rearfacing until 2 years of age. I follow their guidelines with my daycare because safety is the most important thing to me." put on repeat.

Personally I wouldn't want the liability of forward facing a baby that young when there is the option to rearface. Screaming or no, internal decapitation worries me more than a baby crying for five minutes in the car.

Remember that the larger the child the more risk...spinal fusion is the same for every baby regardless of size (the spine is the same) the bigger babies have more weight to throw into a crash.

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Well...how strongly do you feel about it? That's what I would go by. If you're comfortable with what the mom wants, then do it...but I would get her to sign a transportation form stating that she wants him to face forward.

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I am pretty adminent about car seat safety. We used to have the highway patrol come into my job every year and give a brief, and it was horrific stories. Really aweful things. Sometimes the speaker would be moved to tears. And the pictures were aweful. Things you'll never get out of your head. So I am BIG on car seat safety. I don't ever let anyone else put the car seat in the car, and if they do, I go behind them and check it for proper installation. I correct the seat straps on my nieces and nephews car seat and even my friends. If i see something wrong with the car seat, i speak up, regardless of who it is.

I am a huge advicate of extended rear facing, so I don't feel comfortable turnign the baby around at one year. However, both my children were forward facing at one because I didnt know what I do now. And I don't want to be responsible for hurting someone else's child while they are in my vehicle. So I don't feel comfortable turning him around before the age of one, which again is in like 6 months. BUT if mom turns him around at one he will most likely fight in my vehicle because he will like fwd facing better.

But I'd much rather try and I'm really hoping she will bring it up to her pediatrician and he will tell her the new guidelines. She's a first time mom and a big stickler for following ped recommendations, we actually have a ton in common it's scary. So I don't want this it be the one thing we don't agree on. I'd much rather her make the decision to keep him rear facing.

But I don't want to lose her as a cleint when I can always keep him rear facing down the road and see how he does. So I'm not sure if I should follow up this evening with an email or not. I definitely think it is something that I can discuss with her, but the conversation ended a bit upbrubtly because I had to go. So, I'm not sure what to do at this point.

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When people I know tell me I am crazy for ERF my kids i send them this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2DVf...eature=related

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Thank you., I might have to send that to her. I saw something like that when I first heard about ERF. And i strongly believe in it. Did you see how little the car seat actually moved! Way better than the FF.

I don't want to lose a client before they even start, but it is something I feel is really important. After watching that video I am seriously considering putting my daughter back to rear facing even though she's about to be three. She hasn't hit the max yet on her seat. She's not even 30 lbs yet. So I might try it and see how she does turning back around., Probably won't work so well, but I will def be doing that with my next little one.

I think I'll just let it be for now and see what happens on Friday. If she brings it up i will reiterate my stance and explain why I feel that way and why it's so important. Even my peds office has the signs for ERF. So I'm hoping hers does too.

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When you put a child rear facing where do their legs go (the older kids)? Seems like it would be so uncomfortable with them either scrunched up or having to go around the back of the seat.

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They just bring their legs up. The don't think anything of it and they aren't uncomfortable. They just bend their knees and kind of let them flop to the sides if that makes sense. But its still safer, much much safer.

And the seat actually pulls away from the car in a crash so their legs are no where near the back of the car to even hurt their legs.

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This is actually a stipulation in my transportation permission slip, that parents let their child rear face for the maxiumum weight and height of my seat (britax marathons). I have rear faced 1 year olds who FF in their parents cars without a single problem, ever. It's a deal breaker for me!

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Exactly.

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Oh good. I was worried that I would have problems if mom FF and I did RF. I'm glad to hear it isn't an issue. Especially since I am proving the seat. Right now it's just an infant seat, but as I get more money in I'd like to get another Graco MY Ride, although there is probably something better on the market now, since dds is almost 3 years old.

We got into an accident with her infant seat and threw it out and bought the graco instead. She was absolutely fine, but it was super scary. And it happened in an instance and she was two months old.

In any case, I think I am just going to not mention it again until he's closer to one. I mean it is my vehicle and I am more concerned about safety than anything else. Even my girl scouts know that. So she can be as upset as she wants, but I will do ERF. Because if I get into an accident and something happens I will never forgive myself.

Thank you all for helping me support my decision. I felt like I was wrong for being so stubborn about it. But I'm glad and I feel better in my decision.

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What exactly is this ERF situation?? My baby is 5 months old & I've never heard anything about it.

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The only red flag I saw in that conversation was the part when you said you had to go because you just got home.
So in other words you were driving and talking? If not, does she know someone else was driving?
I would just call her on Thurs for a confirmation and let her know that you two can discuss the carseats then.

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It is NOT safe to forward-face a child at the "standard" (and that's sarcastic btw) 12 months and 20 lbs. Please, please, PLEASE keep your child rear-facing until the maximum height and weight limit on their car seat. In an accident, rear-facing is safest by far. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends keeping children RF until AT LEAST 2 years old. Watch the YouTube video linked above for more information.

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They cross them or stick them up in their air or squish them up with their knees near their face.
Kids are bendier than grown-ups, they don't care. Most kids I know prefer rear-facing because they're tucked up all cozy and their toys don't drop far out of their reach :P The pictures are my daughter when she was about 2.5 on a long car trip (8 hours). She was happy as a clam, and rear-faced until almost three (outgrew seat by height).

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Hmmm...never heard of that. My peds office hasn't said anything & they have no info posted. I'll look into it. Thank you!

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Not surprising; there's very little chance you'll hear of it from your ped. Most people don't understand the need to RF and peds are no different.

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I dont think she has a choice in the matter. I'd personally report her for transporting a 4 month old infant in a forward facing seat. I dont know know how it is in your state, but here that's definitely a moving traffic violation and possibly child endangerment.

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Shes not putting him fwd now. But when hes one. But i dont want to turn him at one. The conversation was for down the road.

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What would you do with a child that was to big to turn around or if it doesn't fit right in your car turned around. The two carseats my parents have provided wouldn't allow me to rear face them plus the kids are 3 but not 40lbs. Also, I wouldn't be able to get them in and out of their car seats if they were rear facing.

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so I had a police officer tell me that, you use the rear facing up to 18 if they still fit comfortable. The picture above with the feet is very unsafe and you shouldn't be having your child sit that way at all. Oh pushing the 2 yr old mark is too old because the carseats are not ment to be used as rear facing when your child is over 18 months old. Also, having the child rear facing that is older doesn't work as well as one thinks, children tend to push on the seat, loosening the straps (and yes they do start to loosen). This is from the saftey carseat clinic. There are many articles online, so it doesn't matter what anyone says, if your unsure get it checked out.

if you are really unsure go to your fire department and they will check your carseat and let you know if the child is ready to move.

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This is what I was thinking but really wasn't sure. I really don't think my daycare parents would want their kids feet like that when riding in the car. Usually kids don't weigh 40lbs. till they are a little older. I can't imagine having a child ride like that and them be comfortable.

I have a parent that works with the fire/police dept. I might double check with them even though I know their child was faced forward at a year or so.

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Because i feel strongly about extended rear facing, i provide my own car seats. I am big on carseat safety, correct positioning, strap adj. Most car seats are used incorrectly so i adj the straps and install the seat correctly and i check the seat every time i drive so no worries about kids loosening straps. I also dont use bulky clothing in thr car seat and instead use blankets or those seat covers.

Aap guidelines state 2yrs old. The seat you get should be the correct seat for youe vehicle. I know thats not always possible. Some car seats never fit right in some cars. Like my itty bitty ford focus. But now i have an suv so its much better. It is safer to keep them rear facing as long as possible however the law is 1yr. For me, i choose extended rear facing and will continue to do so.

Years ago they thought a childs legs would get hurt in a crash if they were bent in the rear position. They have since debunked that theory. My oldest was in a booster seat until she was nine and fit correctly in a seat belt. It is one of the things i am very big on.

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No. I'm sorry but this is just not true. Weight and height matter, not age. ERF is practiced in other countries and seats ARE designed to withstand it. What is your source for this other than this one officer? What is HIS source? I have NEVER heard any of that before and I've researched extensively. I just did a search again (Google: Extended rear-facing safety) and saw NOTHING like what you said. I think that officer was full of either a) crap b) outdated information or c) crap.

Children may push, but straps should be checked every time the child is put in anyway--and honestly, I've never had to fix them after a good PROPER install. Maybe I'm lucky, I don't know, but two kids, almost 4 years combined of rear-facing, and they never loosened the straps.

I'd rather have broken legs than internal decapitation or a broken neck.

Not all police officers know what they are talking about, just like not all docs do either.

All the car seat safety stuff *I'VE* done says ERF to the limits of the seat NOT the age of the child.

Rear-facing as long as possible saves lives.

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In that case you go with the set-up that fits best and is safest (i.e tightest install).

They should be able to scramble in and out by themselves by three

3 years old and almost 40 lbs I would probably FF if the install was safer that way. I wonder about their height, as well--by three they might be getting too tall for RF

My DD FF'd in my mom's car before she FF'd in ours, because I couldn't get the seat in my mom's car to install as tightly RF as I could FF (no LATCH in mom's car). She was over 2 when I switched her and i did it because I felt that the tighter installation was a better choice for that situation. She was also tall enough.

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http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/stayrearfacing.aspx/
Lots of links and videos

http://www.car-safety.org/rearface.html
more information

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/03/21...ing/index.html
and more

http://www.joelsjourney.org/
story of an 18 month old child who was severely injured in a car accident--if he had been RF he would have been fine. Instead he broke his neck and has spent years recovering.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9916868#.UBhejaP-3-s
good article

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My 4 year old is STILL rear facing, he is a tiny guy with a short torso. We probably have another 6 months or so until he has to be turned around. My almost 7 year old ds is still in a 5pt harness and will continue to be until he reaches the max weight/height limit of the seat. My older ds was 10 until he maxed out on the weight limit of his high back booster.

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Here is what I found for our state.

Requires children ages 7 & under who are 4’9” or shorter to be secured with a child safety system.

Children less than 1 year of age or who weigh 20 pounds or less must be secured with a child safety system in a rear-facing position.

Children ages 7 & under who weigh 40 pounds or less must be secured with a child safety system designed for children weighing 40 pounds or less.

Children ages 7 & under who weigh more than 40 pounds and are 4’9” or less in height must be secured with a child safety system that elevates the child so that a safety belt or safety harness properly fits the child.

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Yes, the laws are for age one. But it is still.safest.to do extended rear facing. And remember up until a few years ago there wasnt any car seat laws

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My kids had to be in a carseat when they were born and that was almost 20 years ago. My nieces who are 30 always were in carseats back in the 80's.

I know my parents put me in a carseat but not like today carseats but that was in the days of horse and buggies!

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Thats good. i guess it depends on the state. my mom used to tell me how they drove around with me on her lap. and i rememher being in my grams old nova. there was only two sewt belts. so id sit in the middle and one brother wouod extend his sewt belt over me to the far clip and my other brother would do the same and thats how i sat. and i was little. by todays standards my and my brothers prob should have been in booster seats.

Tye thing with laws is that many ppl have to be injuried or die before they change them. its like when the city wont be in a stop light until there is a really bad accident and then they do something about it. i

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