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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCG Ignoring Me
Unregistered 11:18 PM 04-20-2016
Bit of background on dcg- she is 3, she used to have screaming fits of indignation over almost anything she didn't like happening but that has lessened a lot in the last few months...
The last two days there have been an incident where I ask her to do something (one was to pick up litter she threw on the ground and other over her willful misuse of a toy after a clear reminder) and she glances at me and tries to walk away. When faced with consequences (walk with me and we will get the trash together, the toy having a time out) she throws a tantrum. How do you handle obvious, blatant ignoring?
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EntropyControlSpecialist 06:30 AM 04-21-2016
Actively choosing to disobey equals a time out here. I don't give time outs for ANYTHING else, as I view them as pretty ineffective for anything else, but for this it has worked well for me. It usually only happens a few times tops. For particularly stubborn children, less than 10 times. It's pretty boring to sit in the kitchen until you feel ready to listen and then still having to go and do what you were originally asked/told to do in the first place.
I would tell her, "Oh dear. When you choose to ignore Ms. Teacher then you have to sit in the kitchen. Please let me know when you're ready to listen." She will throw a whopper of a tantrum the first few times, if she's a stubborn little one. When she slows down to a whimper is when I would ask her, "Are you ready to listen?" Usually, they'll wind back up again. But, eventually life goes on and they figure out that they either listen or they get to sit.

I have 12 children. If I'm actually asking/telling them to do something then I need them to do it. They can take a minute to process, but ultimately it needs to be done. We work on good manners ("Yes ma'am!") and having a cheerful attitude here as well (not pouting, not saying, "Oh maaaan!"). We have a lot of group discussions about these things, I praise those that have good manners and a good attitude, I model it all myself for them, etc. Obviously, ignoring me doesn't mesh well with any of that.
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Cat Herder 06:43 AM 04-21-2016
I have a 3 year old that does that.

I began with counting to 3 out loud then physically taking her hand and leading her to the quiet spot. I told her she could return to the group when she felt she could follow the rules. (*standard redirect*)

Eventually she would go to the quiet spot or begin to follow the rules upon the count of one.

It is sort of endearing that I can walk to the center of the room and calmly say "one" and every eye in the room will look to me for further instructon, then check their neighbor for infractions.

Obviously I don't do it often or it would become ineffective.
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Tags:discipline - consistency, redirection
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