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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Vent-Please Don't Advise Me On How Live My Life-I Didn't Ask
Country Kids 10:48 AM 11-09-2012
A well meaning relative today let me know:

My kids need to do this, this and this.
They don't care if they do three hours of homework a night (if not more)
Their own barely made it through school (I think a few didn't graduate)

I don't need to work at this job for the next ***x years.
I'm glad they know exactly my financial situation (not-)

Why can't our child go work (for a few years) before going to a University?
No one hires anymore without a degree (ask her father who lost his job)

I relative but....... its my family to raise. You raised yours and well, I'll just keep quiet about that.

FTR, I didn't ask for any adivice-they put in the advice while we talk about different things.
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bunnyslippers 12:12 PM 11-09-2012
It stinks when this happens. My s-i-l and brother often tell me what I should be doing. Mind you, they have only one child, and he is one. I have two kids, a Master's degree in education, and 17 years teaching experience.

It is so easy for other's to make ill informed comments. Don't let it bother you!
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Blackcat31 12:17 PM 11-09-2012
Didn't you just recently just post this same issue about a relative giving you grief when telling them about a day off you were taking?

If I were you, I would stop listening to your relatives.

Either that, or just nod and agree and then do your own thing.

We can't pick our family so what do ya do. *sigh*
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Country Kids 12:19 PM 11-09-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Didn't you just recently just post this same issue about a relative giving you grief when telling them about a day off you were taking?

If I were you, I would stop listening to your relatives.

Either that, or just nod and agree and then do your own thing.

We can't pick our family so what do ya do. *sigh*
Same one!

I don't have many blood relatives and this is one that actually lives where I live. Took the role of my mom when she passed with my kids and all (grandma) type.

Loving person but critical if that makes sense-
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Lilbutterflie 12:30 PM 11-09-2012
I do know how you feel. My step mom has very good intentions, but she says things and gives "advice" in a very condescending and critical way. She doesn't think about things before she says them. We have been very on again / off again over the years, especially in the last year!!

The way I see it you have two choices:

1- Let it all just roll off your shoulder and ignore the relative.

2- Have a talk with relative to let them know that the advice they are giving seems to be done in a very critical way. Explain that you make very careful decisions in your life and don't appreciate being told that those decisions are wrong.
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e.j. 02:03 PM 11-09-2012
As hard as it can be, just let it go in one ear and out the other.
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Lyss 03:12 PM 11-09-2012
I understand and sympathize!

I have a relative (and a friend) who does this constantly!

According to my relative my DD is never dressed right, fed right, napped right, or taught right ("play isn't a form of learning, its just recess" umm no!). Plus there's always a comment about how I run my DC incorrectly! What makes it worse is it's coming from someone with one kid who has no experience with daycare, she used gma for her kid's "daycare" and never worked or even went to DC as a child herself so what does she know?!

And now I have a friend who's started to get competitive about milestones (our girls are 4 months apart) and makes comments about how "behind" my DD is She's not even 1yr and this so called friend is telling me she's behind because her DD just started walking at 11months (which my DD is now and she's no where near walking). Well my DD is more social and talkative, she signs/talks more than her 13 month old! But I just bite my tongue

...whoa I think this just turned into a rant/vent of my own! lol!

Anyway I understand! For me it gets harder and harder to bite my tongue and take the higher road each time I hear these things! Plus with my relative when I actually stand up to her about her comments I get "Oh stop being so sensitive jeez" which makes it soooo much more annoying! lol! I do my best to just let it roll off but it's really hard sometimes! Good thing you can vent here!
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Angelmichelle 06:34 PM 11-09-2012
Someone mentioned to my husband that he didn't NEED to be a foster parent and "doesn't your wife get her fill with the four kids and the daycare?!" I happened to see the message in his FB inbox and was going to write the person back, but I let him handle it. Thankfully, he deleted that person. Unsolicited advice is seldom received positively and nearly always goes unheeded.
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