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Kajbk 02:40 PM 11-01-2017
I've been keeping a baby for three months now and am getting so tired of his constant crying. He is 7 months old and is only happy when held. I do mainly infant care and my helper and I care for two other babies and two toddlers so we can't hold him all day. We've tried everything and he still screams a lot of the day. It's the worst when I'm holding someone besides him. His dad has commented that they never put him down at home so I feel like they are the problem. Many times when he brings him in I'll be changing a diaper and he'll stand and wait for me to finish and put that baby down so I can take this baby out of his arms. I've made comments about how he can sit up now and have toys ready in the floor but he never sits him down. Does anyone have any ideas about how to talk to parents about letting the baby learn to play a little or any ideas for me as far as managing him?
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storybookending 05:01 PM 11-01-2017
ďParent, your inability to allow your child to learn and explore through independent play is hindering their development and making care in a group setting near impossible. I need your help at home in encouraging independent play or I will no longer be able to provide services that meet your needs. By 7 months a child should be able to play with toys and be entertained by the other children playing in the distance without being held all day. If this is not something you can do to help their development might I suggest a nanny?
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HappyEverAfter 05:16 PM 11-01-2017
I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I just went through a similar thing here. 6 month old DCG was doing the same thing. Screaming unless being held. Worse when I was tending to or holding another child. And I had this child 11 hrs a day, every day. I would literally be on the verge of tears some days by the time the little screamer was gone. I suspected she wasn't being put down at home and spoke to the parents, explaining that unfortunately she wasn't my only baby/child and that realistically I couldn't hold her all day. I explained that holding her at home was making it an expectation for DCG that she would be held nonstop here too and suggested they try to put her down more often and don't pick her up when she's screaming for attention. I began to just let her scream (so long as all her actual needs were met) and refused to play into it. I made a conscious effort to pick up This was super rough on me and the other DCKs for a couple days but then as if overnight a switch was flipped and I have a whole new baby. No screaming to be held. No fit throwing when I interact with other kids. I would recommend addressing it with the parents ASAP. Anything you do to curb the issue will be constantly undone if they don't change anything at home. And you and your helper need to be super consistent about not picking the little screamer up too.
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Kajbk 05:52 PM 11-01-2017
I'll have a conversation with them soon. I've been making an effort to not hold him any more than I hold the others. The constant screaming upsets everyone and my toddlers have gotten to where they won't interact with this baby like they will the others. I feel so bad letting him scream but I can't neglect the others. One of the other babies is my own child who is the youngest in care and breastfed and he hardly cries at all. He probably gets held the least which makes me sad but also glad he knows how to play. I've considered telling the parents I can't keep him any more but I've been friends with this family since I was a child. The grandma actually drove me to elementary school every day for years. Makes for an awkward situation
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Sherrihoos 01:53 AM 11-11-2017
I finally let an 18 month old go this week. She was only in care one day a week for the past month and cried and screamed literally the whole time she was in my home. After three hours this week I called the parents for pick up. I said their child was not ready for a day care setting and I could no longer watch her. Her severe separation issues completely interrupted my day and eventually made the other children in my care start crying. I decided I will not allow a child to scream and cry in my day care for hours on end 1. My day care parents pay very well to have me watch their children not just give all my attention to one child so one child screaming is not fair to those parents or to the other kids.
2. It is pure chaos to have a screaming child. A small child will not sit in a corner with a book. 3. The parent cannot put their child in daycare expecting the day care to prepare them for day care. When a parent says oh she screams when we leave her with grandma and she never wants to be with dad, well do you really expect her to adjust to a stranger? A parent has to prepare their child for day care long before they start!
I do childcare for infants up to 3 years so Iíve had many babies over the years. Babies cry. I find most babies are not getting enough sleep. After meeting babies needs such as feeding and diapering, etc. a crying baby is a baby that needs a nap!
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Kajbk 07:22 AM 11-11-2017
Originally Posted by Sherrihoos:
I finally let an 18 month old go this week. She was only in care one day a week for the past month and cried and screamed literally the whole time she was in my home. After three hours this week I called the parents for pick up. I said their child was not ready for a day care setting and I could no longer watch her. Her severe separation issues completely interrupted my day and eventually made the other children in my care start crying. I decided I will not allow a child to scream and cry in my day care for hours on end 1. My day care parents pay very well to have me watch their children not just give all my attention to one child so one child screaming is not fair to those parents or to the other kids.
2. It is pure chaos to have a screaming child. A small child will not sit in a corner with a book. 3. The parent cannot put their child in daycare expecting the day care to prepare them for day care. When a parent says oh she screams when we leave her with grandma and she never wants to be with dad, well do you really expect her to adjust to a stranger? A parent has to prepare their child for day care long before they start!
I do childcare for infants up to 3 years so Iíve had many babies over the years. Babies cry. I find most babies are not getting enough sleep. After meeting babies needs such as feeding and diapering, etc. a crying baby is a baby that needs a nap!
I'm learning that he is sleepy a lot of the times he's crying. His dad complains a lot in the mornings about how the baby refused to go to sleep the night before. A lot of the time he isn't asleep at home until midnight. I asked how they put him to sleep and it's with a bottle. I'm not really a fan of the cry it out method but I modified it to be gentler and am able to just lay him down and he goes right to sleep now. I talked with the mom about putting him down to play and it has helped some. I always have him in the floor playing (I sit in the floor with the babies a lot) when she picks him up so she could see it's possible. I'm pretty new at this, just started in August, so I never realized how much you would have to train some of the parents.
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Sherrihoos 08:16 AM 11-14-2017
It sounds like you are doing great! I have learned over the years I do what is best for the baby in my home regardless of what the parents do at home. One parent was an exception and wanted baby on a strict schedule and I accommodated. But parents say to me all the time my child never sleeps at home or I have to sleep with my child, etc. Mondayís are tough since they rarely nap at home or nap at odd times at home. Parents donít follow what I do at day care. In day care they must nap as a well rested baby is a happy baby. I put them on a schedule and after a few days they follow it perfectly! Most every baby that is beginning care in my home screams and cries at first. I ride it out those first days until I have sleep trained them. My under 1 year olds take two good naps a day. If they wake after a short time I leave them and they usually fall back to sleep until they have had a full hour nap. My other kids all sleep for two solid hours after lunch time. If they wake they stay in their pack in plays. But they all wake up happy and ready to finish the day. But I am extremely consistent especially with babies!
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Tags:clingy, constant crying, crying - all day, needy
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