How Would You Handle These Two?

[Francine]

I have a 22 month old and a 2 1/2 year old, if I am in the room with them they play pretty well together. The minute that I leave the room they fight over toys, push, scream etc. etc. They have been together from day one, they act like brothers. If I separate them they have a fit because they want to be together. One will come crying to me that the other one pushed him then if I have the cryer sit with me to do puzzles or something he will say he wants to go back in with the pusher. It's exhausting! There are days that I just want to say " fight it out" but I know that isn't the right thing to do. The younger and smallest of the two could whip the older bigger ones butt

[mickey2]

Are these the only 2 that you have? I have 6 dcks everyday and we "rotate" friends so they have a chance to play with each and every one of their daytime friends everyday.

[Francine]

Originally Posted by mickey2

Are these the only 2 that you have? I have 6 dcks everyday and we "rotate" friends so they have a chance to play with each and every one of their daytime friends everyday.

No, I also have two infants and a 3 year old.

[Heidi]

I'm sorry, but you can't play with your friend right now because you were hurting each other....

[cheerfuldom]

They are fighting for a pecking order when you are not there to be the leader. i know it is exhausting but you really have to be with them all the time, or separate one if you must leave the room or whatever.

[kidkair]

I tell the kid who comes whining to me to go back and tell the other kid to stop ______ then I continue whatever I was doing. In my experience once I can get them talking to each other then they do kinda fight it out without my intervention and since they are starting to use words then they are making a step in the right direction. If I can hear or see two kids both pushing/hitting/fighting each other then I just call out to knock it off not using names unless I really have to and I try to not physically involve myself either. They begin to learn that I'm in charge and my rules apply even when I'm cooking in the other room. Oh and just so you know where I'm coming from I have two 19 month olds, two 2 year olds, and a 3 year old that this works well with. One of each of the smaller ones are new and just learning the rules. The ones who have been hear longer have learned to yell no at the new ones when I'm not in sight so that I intervene if it continues which in my opinion is way better than anyone coming to whine to me and allows me to intervene while the event is happening rather than two minutes later when the other kid has totally forgot what they did.

Don't leave them alone, take at least one of them with you if you step out of sight. Thats what I do for br..., toddler is used to taking my hand and going for little "trips"

[Francine]

A little bit of back ground on these two kids, the 22 month old started coming when he was 3 months old, the 2 1/2 year old start coming a week before his first birthday. The 2 1/2 year old was an oops, his siblings are 19 and 20 years old. He is used to being the center of attention at home and everything that he does is "funny", not many rules or very loose ones, very much an "in your face" kind of kid. Always wants the adults attention and doesn't have any idea how to make his own fun. He only wants to play with what the other kid has and then drops it or will run around with it teasing the other kid. He is constantly in the 22 month olds face, saying his name over and over etc. just bugging the heck out of him.

The 22 month old is a strong willed kid, will make his own fun if the other kids aren't here. He will go into the play room and play happily by himself for a long time. He has an older step brother who doesn't live with them but he sees frequently so I can't really say he is an only child. There are rules at his house, he does not rule the roost. I love him and his parents, my daughters and I have both watched him at different times when they've needed a sitter after hours. He is a joy to have around until the 2 1/2 year old shows up, he gets along fine with the 3 year old. Tonight just before pick up when I was at my wits end I had them both sitting in kitchen chairs, different ends of the room with their backs to each other. They still fought! The 2 1/2 yo would say "Momma's coming" then the 22 months old would yell " NO Momma comin" back and forth, back and forth. The 22 mo definetly has the stronger personality. There are times that I pull him away from the playroom because I can see that the 2 1/2 yo is just bugging the heck out of him. Both boys get along with the 3 year old and the babies, it's just each other. Sorry this is so long!