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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Actually Told A DCM "No"!
melilley 07:08 AM 11-03-2014

All but one of my dcf's prepay for the next week of care on Friday's. I let the one family pay on Monday's because they asked if they could pay on Monday's when they enrolled because of their pay weeks.

Today dcm (this is the dcm that I talk about often) came in with her checkbook and says "is it ok if I pay you for this week and next" to which I said that was fine, then she adds "if you cash it on Friday"! She acted like it was a big benefit to me if she paid for two weeks at once, no one week is due today!.

They have done this in the past and I have always let them get away with it, but this time I told her no, I have bills to pay! Then she said "L doesn't have any gloves, hopefully I can afford to buy some in Friday". Nope sorry, I'm not going to feel bad. I have let this family get away with so much. I always give in, but not this time and I'm pretty proud of myself! I'm finally using my backbone!

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping people and we could afford to wait until Friday, but its just the principle that this family has gotten away with too much. And it just irritates me even more that she tries to make me feel bad about it. I already let her pay on Monday's and I know that now they get paid on Thursdays, it's not my fault that you don't know how to manage money.
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midaycare 07:14 AM 11-03-2014
You go! Love it!
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Baby Beluga 07:25 AM 11-03-2014
Good for you! And you are correct, it's not your fault if they don't know how to manage money. How would a DCP feel if you suddenly said "Sorry DCP, you have to bring your child's food this week. I didn't manage my money well so I don't have enough money to go grocery shopping for the week!"
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TaylorTots 07:47 AM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga:
Good for you! And you are correct, it's not your fault if they don't know how to manage money. How would a DCP feel if you suddenly said "Sorry DCP, you have to bring your child's food this week. I didn't manage my money well so I don't have enough money to go grocery shopping for the week!"

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daycarediva 09:12 AM 11-03-2014
I would switch them to Fridays like everyone else, too.

Also, they have gloves at the $1 store that would work ok for fall, she could scrounge for change to buy them! I bought some for my own younger kids because they lose theirs at school constantly. I wouldn't feel guilty.
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TaylorTots 09:53 AM 11-03-2014
Walmart $.97 2 pack of fall type gloves. I stock up for DCKs and my own kids as we lose so many gloves @ school. I found them in the baby/toddler section, the big boys section and the big girls section.
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butterfly 09:56 AM 11-03-2014
Good job!

Praying this check won't bounce though...
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Crazy8 10:08 AM 11-03-2014
Good for you! If DCM gets paid on Thursday but by Monday is out of money, you need to do her the "favor" of switching her back to Fridays.

I require payments on their last scheduled day of care for the week but I do allow them to choose weekly or biweekly since that is how some get paid. But once they choose a method they have to stick with it. I can relate to running low on cash by the 2nd week so if they want to pay in advance that is fine by me! Always in advance though!!!!!
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Hazel 10:09 AM 11-03-2014
I feel your pain. I have one mom like this. This is the mom who is ALWAYS behind on payments (my fault, I let it happen... I'm too nice) BUT every week, at some point, she complains about her money problems...
Ex:
DCM :" my freaking job shorted my check! I go and tell them and they say.. 'well you'll have to wait until the next pay period'
DCM: "so I says to them, well how am I gonna pay for daycare?"

She ALWAYS complains about money and tells me how she tells everyone who wants money from her "how am I gonna pay for daycare?"

I KNOW she tells me this crap so I'll feel bad for her but FOR GOODNESS SAKE! I've already been ok with her paying a little extra each week to catch up on past due payments....
She is almost 40, lives at home with her parents and only pays her cell, car, car insurance and healthcare premium.... And for a while she had medicaid (yet she complained even then!)
This is the same mom who wanted to pay with her food stamps!
Honestly, I get it. Times are tough. But she's not the sweetest lady either... She will come in early bc I forgot to lock the door. She over shares about her personal life. She will go on and on to me and then roll her eyes when another parent comes in and I interupt her to greet the other parent and their child.
I love her baby to death. She has such a sad situation but if I didn't have a good enrollment right now I would advertise and replace her. As it is, I'm ok with her being a little late but just HATE the comments!
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SignMeUp 10:13 AM 11-03-2014
Melilley.
One of mine forgot to pay me last week and had a late-fee invoice in their mail slot today. They came in and tried to tell me that I hadn't left them a "reminder to pay" and clearly wanted the late fee forgiven.

I know they just forgot. They just switched their payment systems. But I gave them two reminders in the two weeks preceding the switch, and I also changed my policy on "reminder" notes and am no longer doing them. Which I let everyone know about in their mail slots prior to last week's pay-day.

Bottom line: Reminding people to pay me feels like begging for my pay and I am done with it. Pay me on time or pay me the late fee - it's up to you

^^ No drama here
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melilley 10:53 AM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by butterfly:
Good job!

Praying this check won't bounce though...
Lol, that's what dh said!
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melilley 11:01 AM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by Hazel:
I feel your pain. I have one mom like this. This is the mom who is ALWAYS behind on payments (my fault, I let it happen... I'm too nice) BUT every week, at some point, she complains about her money problems...
Ex:
DCM :" my freaking job shorted my check! I go and tell them and they say.. 'well you'll have to wait until the next pay period'
DCM: "so I says to them, well how am I gonna pay for daycare?"

She ALWAYS complains about money and tells me how she tells everyone who wants money from her "how am I gonna pay for daycare?"

I KNOW she tells me this crap so I'll feel bad for her but FOR GOODNESS SAKE! I've already been ok with her paying a little extra each week to catch up on past due payments....
She is almost 40, lives at home with her parents and only pays her cell, car, car insurance and healthcare premium.... And for a while she had medicaid (yet she complained even then!)
This is the same mom who wanted to pay with her food stamps!
Honestly, I get it. Times are tough. But she's not the sweetest lady either... She will come in early bc I forgot to lock the door. She over shares about her personal life. She will go on and on to me and then roll her eyes when another parent comes in and I interupt her to greet the other parent and their child.
I love her baby to death. She has such a sad situation but if I didn't have a good enrollment right now I would advertise and replace her. As it is, I'm ok with her being a little late but just HATE the comments!
This family does the same thing!
Her work shorted her check before too. Don't know if I believe that. They have been late many times with payments, finally one day I made her come at 9 at night because she was already late, but that was her choice, she didn't want to pay the late fees. She always makes comments about money. It's like one thing after another.

I do get it that people may be on hard times too, but like pp's said, there are ways to budget and we need to pay bills too.
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melilley 11:03 AM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by SignMeUp:
Bottom line: Reminding people to pay me feels like begging for my pay and I am done with it. Pay me on time or pay me the late fee - it's up to you

^^ No drama here

This is how I feel. I shouldn't be put in that place of saying No. I shouldn't have to ask or remind them of payment. You pay every week, there is NO reason to forget or think that you can pay late. I just had to laugh that she would pay me for 2 weeks, as long as I waited until Friday, huge benefit for me.
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nannyde 11:05 AM 11-03-2014
They wouldn't even ask. No way.

Nice try. That buys them the week and then.come Thursday another tragedy befalls them that is beyond their control.

Nope. Borrow money from your Mama.

Signed, I aint your Mama
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melilley 11:11 AM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
They wouldn't even ask. No way.

Nice try. That buys them the week and then.come Thursday another tragedy befalls them that is beyond their control.

Nope. Borrow money from your Mama.

Signed, I aint your Mama
Totally my fault that they did ask....well not anymore!!!

Especially when you have money to buy iphones and such.....
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TaylorTots 11:20 AM 11-03-2014
You'll have to update us if the check clears...

I've had one parent like this a long time ago when I first started childcare. The day they wrote me a check I went to THEIR bank and cashed it. Didn't even want to deal with the chance of it bouncing and screwing up our finances!
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melilley 11:27 AM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by TaylorTots:
You'll have to update us if the check clears...

I've had one parent like this a long time ago when I first started childcare. The day they wrote me a check I went to THEIR bank and cashed it. Didn't even want to deal with the chance of it bouncing and screwing up our finances!
I will!
I should take it up to their bank! Dh does the thing where you take a pic of the check over the phone now so he probably won't go to the bank.

They bounced a check once before. If it happens again, it's cash only!
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itlw8 11:57 AM 11-03-2014
the child does not have gloves was her excuse for not paying for a week of childcare ?? how expensive are the gloves she plans on buying ?? LOL Tell her to go to the dollar store, the thrift store, wear a pair of socks on the hands. Wear last years mittens even if they do not match the brand new jacket.
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jgcp 12:56 PM 11-03-2014
Yay! Its an awesome feeling! I told one DCM last week NO that I can no longer accept late or partial payments. She was a no show no call this morning. I'm terming, they are to unpredictable. I have someone who wants that spot! Byyyye!
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TaylorTots 02:53 PM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by melilley:
I will!
I should take it up to their bank! Dh does the thing where you take a pic of the check over the phone now so he probably won't go to the bank.

They bounced a check once before. If it happens again, it's cash only!
I mobile deposit all my current DCFs... but wouldn't hesitate to take it to their bank if they had bounced a check before and they were wanting to pay me later to begin with... it sounds like the money won't be in their account by the sound of things...
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Heidi 07:41 PM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by TaylorTots:
I mobile deposit all my current DCFs... but wouldn't hesitate to take it to their bank if they had bounced a check before and they were wanting to pay me later to begin with... it sounds like the money won't be in their account by the sound of things...
Well, technically, it'll be there, but there won't be enough to cover that AND the rent/mortgage payment. So, whichever check clears first wins!
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AuntTami 08:26 PM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Well, technically, it'll be there, but there won't be enough to cover that AND the rent/mortgage payment. So, whichever check clears first wins!
^^That's my favorite way of paying bills! I only have to pay one then right since I *technically* sent out the check for the second bill as well, and thus, *paid* it?

I'm so sorry you're struggling with this family. I probably would have laughed out loud. I have a hard time controlling that type of reaction.
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melilley 08:31 PM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Well, technically, it'll be there, but there won't be enough to cover that AND the rent/mortgage payment. So, whichever check clears first wins!
Yep, I once let them pay late because dcd said they had to pay their mortgage and dcm had to buy things for her classroom! (She works in a GSRP classroom). After I said they could pay late, I was so mad at myself for letting them do that. They can pay late, but she has enough to buy for her room.

The time that bounced a check dcm forgot to tell dcd that she bought stuff. Or maybe that was the same time as above.... yikes, I can't remember. The late payments happened a few times so it all runs together.

I guess I'll find out soon if it did bounce.
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melilley 08:33 PM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by AuntTami:
^^That's my favorite way of paying bills! I only have to pay one then right since I *technically* sent out the check for the second bill as well, and thus, *paid* it?

I'm so sorry you're struggling with this family. I probably would have laughed out loud. I have a hard time controlling that type of reaction.
Oh believe me, my eyes were rolling and I was sighing and laughing....all in my head. Someday it's just going to come all out!
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AuntTami 08:47 PM 11-03-2014
I have a new drop in family that has been coming for the last few days that owes me $10 and the balance just keeps rolling over...I want to laugh out loud every time. I COULD just let it go but it's the principal of things, so instead, I chuckle about it every day. lol.
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renodeb 09:29 PM 11-03-2014
Good for you!
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melilley 11:54 AM 11-04-2014
Update: Her check cleared today.
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Second Home 12:38 PM 11-04-2014

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Tags:backbone, parents - don't cooperate
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