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Old 03-25-2014, 04:16 PM
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Default Is This Concern Valid And Should I Move Forward?

So as some of you may recall, I termed a family last week. DCM said that everything wrong with her child was the fault of the DC. so I said then find a new one...TERM...

Well terming that child opened up a full time spot. I of course told my current families that I have a full time spot open immediately if anyone wanted it. I have 3 families that said they did. So I went off of our policy of Seniority.

the family that gets first dibs on the spot tells me she wants the spot and wants me to send over a new contract so the child can start FT next week. Ok great, this client has been great and with me for some time now. The child has been PT only 2 days a week and is also like the above child cared for by GM on her days off from here.

So I send off the contract and DCM emails me that her only concern is that DCK has been scream crying from the min that they wake up until they get to my house that they don't want to come here and that she is worried to commit to anything long term because what if the child does not like it here. BTW child has been here for 1.5 years, started out FT then moved to PT last year. OMG here we go again.

this child loves it here. The child does whine a little at drop off, but has a great day of fun and learning when here. I hardly ever have any issues with this child. I just can't help but feel like this parent is also trying to blame the child's ability to manipulate them and instead hold the DC accountable. what child would want to go to school when normally they have the option to stay home with GM???

Now I can't help but not want to move forward with this family giving them the full time spot. I have never had these issues before and I just don't understand what is going on with parents......

Is my concern valid? Would you move on with this family if they made this comment to you?
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  #2  
Old 03-25-2014, 04:51 PM
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So as some of you may recall, I termed a family last week. DCM said that everything wrong with her child was the fault of the DC. so I said then find a new one...TERM...

Well terming that child opened up a full time spot. I of course told my current families that I have a full time spot open immediately if anyone wanted it. I have 3 families that said they did. So I went off of our policy of Seniority.

the family that gets first dibs on the spot tells me she wants the spot and wants me to send over a new contract so the child can start FT next week. Ok great, this client has been great and with me for some time now. The child has been PT only 2 days a week and is also like the above child cared for by GM on her days off from here.

So I send off the contract and DCM emails me that her only concern is that DCK has been scream crying from the min that they wake up until they get to my house that they don't want to come here and that she is worried to commit to anything long term because what if the child does not like it here. BTW child has been here for 1.5 years, started out FT then moved to PT last year. OMG here we go again.

this child loves it here. The child does whine a little at drop off, but has a great day of fun and learning when here. I hardly ever have any issues with this child. I just can't help but feel like this parent is also trying to blame the child's ability to manipulate them and instead hold the DC accountable. what child would want to go to school when normally they have the option to stay home with GM???

Now I can't help but not want to move forward with this family giving them the full time spot. I have never had these issues before and I just don't understand what is going on with parents......

Is my concern valid? Would you move on with this family if they made this comment to you?
Could you do a two week trial?? The whining at drop off is more Than likely because the child is part time. Full time should remedy the problem. Two days a week could be the issue.
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Old 03-25-2014, 04:55 PM
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Could you do a two week trial?? The whining at drop off is more Than likely because the child is part time. Full time should remedy the problem. Two days a week could be the issue.


Sometimes when kids know they won't see their parents for a few hours they get separation anxiety (even when they know who they are going to be with and have had good experiences). If he didn't have other child care arrangements those days (stayed with parents/family/friends) than he probably just isn't used to the separation.
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Old 03-25-2014, 05:06 PM
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I did mention this to the DCP, but they said that they were still concerned.
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Old 03-25-2014, 05:15 PM
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I JUST went through this!

Mom in so many words hinting that something was wrong here since dcb2 says everyday "mommy don't go to work. I don't want to go to Ms___'s house" I assured her that he was absolutely fine the moment she left, actually he didn't even cry at all when she left. I reminded mom that ALL children would prefer that Mommy and Daddy stay home. ALL children would prefer to be in THEIR home with THEIR stuff.

2 weeks ago mom stops sending him altogether but pays last 2 weeks without him here. I say nothing, biting my tongue. (Of course her job is to protect dcb if she thinks something is wrong, but it's her choice of words that got me)

I asked mom the other day when I saw her how dcb likes being home with dad. Her response "He liked it at first, now he says everyday Mommy don't go to work I don't want to stay home with Daddy, you stay home with me"

I said nothing but secretly gloated inside "haha! You pulled him out of daycare for nothing! He just wants Mommy, which is normal"

Oh well, moving on!

Also I have a dcb2 who was always fine at drop off, been here for 10 months, now doesn't want dad to leave. Again, he's fine the second dad leaves. I assured dad it's a normal phase, every kid prefers to home, etc. Parents' schedules also changed recently, he may be confused. I'm sure it doesn't help that dad drops off and says "Bye Daddy's going to the gym"

It is normal for kids to want to stay home! I've seen many kids go through phases of clingy then not even noticing if mom or dad was there

I say yes, take her full time a remind mom that it is normal for her to want to stay home. Give it a 2 week trial, but I wouldn't let it linger too long if mom is thinking something is going on at daycare. I wouldn't want any false accusations or reports to licensing kwim?
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Old 03-25-2014, 05:20 PM
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Originally Posted by CraftyMom View Post
I JUST went through this!

Mom in so many words hinting that something was wrong here since dcb2 says everyday "mommy don't go to work. I don't want to go to Ms___'s house" I assured her that he was absolutely fine the moment she left, actually he didn't even cry at all when she left. I reminded mom that ALL children would prefer that Mommy and Daddy stay home. ALL children would prefer to be in THEIR home with THEIR stuff.

2 weeks ago mom stops sending him altogether but pays last 2 weeks without him here. I say nothing, biting my tongue. (Of course her job is to protect dcb if she thinks something is wrong, but it's her choice of words that got me)

I asked mom the other day when I saw her how dcb likes being home with dad. Her response "He liked it at first, now he says everyday Mommy don't go to work I don't want to stay home with Daddy, you stay home with me"

I said nothing but secretly gloated inside "haha! You pulled him out of daycare for nothing! He just wants Mommy, which is normal"

Oh well, moving on!

Also I have a dcb2 who was always fine at drop off, been here for 10 months, now doesn't want dad to leave. Again, he's fine the second dad leaves. I assured dad it's a normal phase, every kid prefers to home, etc. Parents' schedules also changed recently, he may be confused. I'm sure it doesn't help that dad drops off and says "Bye Daddy's going to the gym"

It is normal for kids to want to stay home! I've seen many kids go through phases of clingy then not even noticing if mom or dad was there

I say yes, take her full time a remind mom that it is normal for her to want to stay home. Give it a 2 week trial, but I wouldn't let it linger too long if mom is thinking something is going on at daycare. I wouldn't want any false accusations or reports to licensing kwim?
thanks for posting this, it did make me feel better. I was starting to think that maybe the kids are starting not to like me or something. Once I can see as no big deal, but the fact that it is now happening again, it makes me wonder if I am doing something wrong?

Today the kid did not want to go home, we were playing Jenga when GM came to pick up and DCK threw a massive tantrum holding on to me saying nooooo i DON'T WANT TO GO HOME......

ugh....can I just get a bus load of orphans???????????
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Old 03-25-2014, 05:28 PM
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And here too they never want to leave! Shows you that you are doing something RIGHT!
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Old 03-25-2014, 05:30 PM
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Because then the orphans would never leave and you can't pay your bills if they stay ha ha!

I like the two week trial idea. It sounds like you have a waiting list, so it's a win/win for both of you.

Kids go through phases. Parents know that! But as a parent, I would ask the provider if they noticed anything different (that way I could tell myself that they are playing me and it's not valid kwim?)
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Old 03-25-2014, 06:40 PM
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And here too they never want to leave! Shows you that you are doing something RIGHT!
I have he same problem. I had a dcg now 4 who was in my program from age 1 until December of last year when mom went to part time and simply couldn't afford me. Yet she made $20 too much for ANY assistance. She had to rely in family and friends to help out since then. Well they live a mile down the road and every day they passed my driveway dcg cried. Mom moved around some bills just to put her back in care since I recently had a spot open. I have a. List but this little one was at the top because she's very special to my heart and a perfect fit in my program. She started back this week and boy oh boy is she a happy camper now lol. And I'm so glad she's back too.

Kids do go through phases and WE know that. But certainly some parents don't understand and all they hear is their child upset. It's easier for us to be objective because we see his all he time. But they just see their stand point....
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Old 03-26-2014, 02:37 AM
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They don't want to come but then they don't want to leave. It's all a transition thing. Ugh. Dcm, for one, has got to make drop offs as quick as possible and not feed into it all by worrying, questioning, etc., etc. Either she trusts you or she doesn't. Is it possible to send her pics through out the day, of her child having fun? Can you ease into FT with them?
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Old 03-26-2014, 04:35 AM
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You may tell DCM others are wanting the spot & if it's not going to work you will move forward on selecting someone else.

I generally snap a pic of the smiling child & send it to the parent before their car leaves the curb. When the child whines at pick up time I sometimes boldly say to DCMs, "If I got my way by crying I would do it too." I then smile & say nothing else.

Don't let her blame you for the actions of her child. It only works if you let it.
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Old 03-26-2014, 07:42 AM
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If you have others that are interested, I would just move along to the next one. Parents create such unnecessary drama, and I would want someone that definitely wants the spot!
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Old 03-26-2014, 07:46 AM
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If you have others that are interested, I would just move along to the next one. Parents create such unnecessary drama, and I would want someone that definitely wants the spot!
I totally agree!
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Old 03-26-2014, 07:53 AM
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You may tell DCM others are wanting the spot & if it's not going to work you will move forward on selecting someone else.
This. I would let them know that's fine, DCB will stay 2 days/wk then, because I am looking for only a long-term FT commitment (this is a business after all).
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Old 03-26-2014, 09:13 AM
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This. I would let them know that's fine, DCB will stay 2 days/wk then, because I am looking for only a long-term FT commitment (this is a business after all).
Yup. I would say "I bet dcb enjoys getting spoiled by Grandma! I will move on to the next interested family then. Thanks for your interest."
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Old 03-26-2014, 09:50 AM
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Yup. I would say "I bet dcb enjoys getting spoiled by Grandma! I will move on to the next interested family then. Thanks for your interest."
Exactly. Having a daily drop off whiner is not fun...I would pass!
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Old 03-26-2014, 10:13 AM
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Yup. I would say "I bet dcb enjoys getting spoiled by Grandma! I will move on to the next interested family then. Thanks for your interest."
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Old 03-26-2014, 12:12 PM
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This. I would let them know that's fine, DCB will stay 2 days/wk then, because I am looking for only a long-term FT commitment (this is a business after all).
Exactly!!
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Old 03-26-2014, 12:27 PM
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For the record, THIS is what has me feeling stressed this week. Leave quickly so your kid can be happy and not manipulate you. Ill send a pic. You're welcome.
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Old 03-26-2014, 01:15 PM
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Originally Posted by mrsmichelle View Post
If you have others that are interested, I would just move along to the next one. Parents create such unnecessary drama, and I would want someone that definitely wants the spot!


I would tell her she was given this opportunity based on seniority but you have other families interested without a doubt. Tell her you need to fill this FT spot, take it or leave it!
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Old 03-26-2014, 01:50 PM
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I voiced my concerns to the mom about this and told DCM that I would be willing to move forward and will evaluate in 30 days to see if I would continue the contract with them. DCM did not really say much but this is what I am going to do anyways. I will make sure that the contract is open ended for the first 30 days allowing either one of us to pull it if not happy.

I just can't help but feel that this is not going to go well. Since I already offered it to the DCM and they accepted, I am going to uphold it for at least 30 days..

I hope I didn't just shoot myself in the foot.
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Old 03-26-2014, 02:10 PM
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Well I hope she sticks with it! It would be pretty rude to back out after jumping at the offer!
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