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Parents and Guardians Forum>WWYD If This Happened To Your Kids
Anonymous 11:03 AM 05-27-2011
A few weeks ago I picked up my 3 month old from daycare and his car seat and hair was wet with formula. The director said she didn’t know how it happened. Last week I picked him up from daycare and this time his clothes and entire car seat were wet with formula. And again the director said she didn’t know how it happened and that her teacher/assistant must have done it. I asked the teacher/assistant the next day and she didn’t even know about it. I picked up my toddler from daycare the other day and his PullUps and pants were soaked because he had not been changed all day. The director apologized and said she forgot that he wasn’t potty trained. Basically I get the feeling that she is leaving all of the work to her teacher and my kids are being neglected. I understand that things happen and I’m trying to be patient and understanding but how many more incidents should I let go by. Should I remove my kids from this daycare? For some reason I feel guilty about removing them. I know I should, but I guess I just need other people’s opinions and experiences on this.
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dEHmom 11:08 AM 05-27-2011
sorry to hear this has happened. I would make sure to keep track of it. and note that you've spoken with the director on this day regarding this incident.

it sounds like the bottle's may be leaking while the child is in the seat. Possibly they are put there to drink the bottle, and they fall asleep and the bottle tips over. Watch the carseat padding though, because it will mold underneath if you do not clean it.
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Unregistered 11:14 AM 05-27-2011
Do not feel guilty about removing your child from a situation that you are not happy with. Go with your gut! I think in this case your gut is telling you to leave and in that case that is what you should do. I removed my daughter from her daycare after a couple of incidents where I discovered that she had been left alone - once in the garage in her car seat and the other time in the house while the provider was outside. I felt terribly guilty about leaving but now I am so happy we did. We are much happier with our new center.
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lil angels 11:14 AM 05-27-2011
Well I have had a baby get formula in their hair if they spit up a lot and I don't catch it right away. But for the baby and car seat to be full of it he is probably getting his bottle propped up for him and isn't being held and fed because it is easier. That is a big no no they prob don't have time to sit and do that because of all the other kids and for your older one not getting changed all day because she thought he was potty trained if that was her job then that is terrible she doesn't know the kids at all if that is the case and your son can't feel very safe there. I would start looking around for something else and give your 2 week notice as soon as possible they should have more care than that you are paying good money for daycare and the kid should at least be held when fed and changed everyday. Good Luck
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daycarelady68 11:23 AM 05-27-2011
Find a better place. In my opinion that's ridiculous.
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cheerfuldom 11:30 AM 05-27-2011
saying they don't know is a really scary response. The only reasons are that they have too many children to notice or just simply don't care. A soaking wet infant and toddler are unacceptable. Even if the toddler was potty trained, they should have noticed that he hadn't actually asked or gone to the bathroom all day. Whats the ratio there? IMO you need to start looking for something else.
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Kaddidle Care 02:19 PM 05-27-2011
Originally Posted by Anonymous:
A few weeks ago I picked up my 3 month old from daycare and his car seat and hair was wet with formula. The director said she didn’t know how it happened. Last week I picked him up from daycare and this time his clothes and entire car seat were wet with formula. And again the director said she didn’t know how it happened and that her teacher/assistant must have done it. I asked the teacher/assistant the next day and she didn’t even know about it. I picked up my toddler from daycare the other day and his PullUps and pants were soaked because he had not been changed all day. The director apologized and said she forgot that he wasn’t potty trained. Basically I get the feeling that she is leaving all of the work to her teacher and my kids are being neglected. I understand that things happen and I’m trying to be patient and understanding but how many more incidents should I let go by. Should I remove my kids from this daycare? For some reason I feel guilty about removing them. I know I should, but I guess I just need other people’s opinions and experiences on this.
The fact that you are asking tells me that in your heart you know you should find a better place for your children.

The toddler, one soaked diaper isn't a huge deal. It happens on rare occasions - shift changes - one shift thinking the other one changed the children in diapers. If the child is 3 -3 1/2 and the rest of his class is already potty trained, then it's time to start thinking about getting that started.

I'd be more concerned about the infant soaked in formula. Sounds like they are propping the baby with the bottle or worse yet, not burping him and he is vomiting. A 3 month old needs to be held for feeding - and burped properly.

Take a good look at the child to caregiver ratio. They may be pushing the limit on it.
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jen 08:32 PM 05-27-2011
I really have a different opinion on the diaper thing. I don't think that there is ANY excuse for not changing a toddler. Really, by afternoon that diaper had to be hanging and the kid would smell like urine. In other words, if an adult was interacting with the kid AT ALL, they would have noticed at some point. I've been doing daycare for almost 10 years and I have never had a child go all day without a diaper change. Thats just gross.
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sharlan 08:48 PM 05-27-2011
It's time to give notice and move on.

They are telling you that they don't know because YOU are accepting that answer. That is not an acceptable answer.

The only way the infant's carseat is getting wet is because the baby is being prop's with a bottle. That is a big no no. Formula that is going into the carseat is not going into your baby's belly.
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wdmmom 10:02 PM 05-27-2011
What exactly are you paying them for again?!

If it's for childcare, you're children aren't getting care....or so you are making it sound that way.

Propped bottles, "I don't know's", and not changing diapers would be beyond enough for me to pull my kids right away. That's just not cool. No one knows anything because no one is doing their job! By saying "I don't know" that means they don't want to admit guilt but it screams such to me!
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nannyde 03:05 AM 05-28-2011
Sounds like they are propping bottles in the seat.

Your kids aren't even getting basic child care. Time to move them. If you can just pay off your notice but take them out right away.
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Kaddidle Care 06:46 AM 05-28-2011
Originally Posted by jen:
I really have a different opinion on the diaper thing. I don't think that there is ANY excuse for not changing a toddler. Really, by afternoon that diaper had to be hanging and the kid would smell like urine. In other words, if an adult was interacting with the kid AT ALL, they would have noticed at some point. I've been doing daycare for almost 10 years and I have never had a child go all day without a diaper change. Thats just gross.
You're right - I meant a skipped changing more than anything else. (Not all blooming day!) Sometimes when they are in pull ups the diaper is so thin that you don't notice a bulge but yeah - if nobody was changing a diaper they should have noticed that the child hadn't used the bathroom at all all day.
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dEHmom 06:53 AM 05-28-2011
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
You're right - I meant a skipped changing more than anything else. (Not all blooming day!) Sometimes when they are in pull ups the diaper is so thin that you don't notice a bulge but yeah - if nobody was changing a diaper they should have noticed that the child hadn't used the bathroom at all all day.
not only that, they would smell strong of urine. It's like an all night diaper, it has a bad smell. Maybe it's just me, but I can smell when a child pees in the diaper immediately when they come close. But you can tell when it's been on for more than half a day.

So if they couldn't tell, then they clearly were not giving this child attention period. Because there is no way they read a book, played with playdough or whatever and couldn't tell that this child wasn't filled with pee.
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e.j. 09:48 AM 05-28-2011
Originally Posted by Anonymous:
A few weeks ago I picked up my 3 month old from daycare and his car seat and hair was wet with formula. The director said she didn’t know how it happened. Last week I picked him up from daycare and this time his clothes and entire car seat were wet with formula. And again the director said she didn’t know how it happened and that her teacher/assistant must have done it. I asked the teacher/assistant the next day and she didn’t even know about it. I picked up my toddler from daycare the other day and his PullUps and pants were soaked because he had not been changed all day. The director apologized and said she forgot that he wasn’t potty trained. Basically I get the feeling that she is leaving all of the work to her teacher and my kids are being neglected. I understand that things happen and I’m trying to be patient and understanding but how many more incidents should I let go by. Should I remove my kids from this daycare? For some reason I feel guilty about removing them. I know I should, but I guess I just need other people’s opinions and experiences on this.
I would be concerned that they "don't know" what happened. If they were paying attention and caring for your infant properly, they would either be able to tell you what happened or they would have cleaned up the mess before you arrived. As for the toddler's diaper, there's no excuse for allowing a child to go all day without a diaper change. As someone else mentioned, even if they thought he was potty trained, they should have noticed he never went to the bathroom all day.

Seems like they're aren't supervising properly either because they're overwhelmed or because they just don't care. I would not bring my children back to that day care and I would question the need to pay for not giving enough notice. It seems to me, they broke any contract you might have signed first when they didn't provide proper care for your children.
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Mom_of_two 10:38 AM 05-28-2011
I am a home provider and mother of two (one and three years) - my oldest was in daycare til my youngest was born. I would most definitely remove them!!! They are not being cared for as they should. Please do not feel guilty! You are paying for this service and your children are the most important thing. That daycare SHOULD have people leave, and complain (appropriately, of course) with that kind of care.
I would assume that a bottle was being propped and leaked. Not ok!! And agree with PP about the toddler- do they not fill out daily report sheets??
Good luck.
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Hunni Bee 11:56 PM 05-28-2011
What I don't understand is how they thought it was acceptable to hand you your children back this way. I work in a center, and I will admit its not the best one, but we would never return a child to their parent without checking them - diaper dry, clothes clean or at least dry, faces clean, shoes tied and if anything wasn't the way it should be, there would be an explanation.

A three-month-old would NEVER be left attended to nurse a propped bottle in a CAR SEAT. If no one noticed his bottle had leaked all over him, he could have choked and no one would have noticed either.

A child would never be walking around with a soaked diaper and clothing because we take all children to the restroom every hour and a half. If the child was touched at all that day, someone would have noticed he needed to be changed. And why is someone in the room that doesn't know who's potty trained and who isnt??

Like I said, we're don't have the prettiest center or the newest toys and we do have some issues, but our parents trust that their children will be safe, cared for and interacted with throughout the day.

Your children are in a child-care center that does not care for the child. What are you paying for? Please don't take them back there.
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Candyland 10:01 PM 05-29-2011
lots of people telling the OP to leave, but shouldn't she report this daycare as well??
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sharlan 10:31 PM 05-29-2011
I think she should.
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Unregistered 11:18 PM 05-30-2011
Why would anyone pay out a notice in a situation of neglect? That's absurd. With three documented instances, taking the child back is neglect by the parent. How can anyone advise that she pay another penny?
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jen 12:08 PM 05-31-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Why would anyone pay out a notice in a situation of neglect? That's absurd. With three documented instances, taking the child back is neglect by the parent. How can anyone advise that she pay another penny?
The provider will take her to court for the remainder of the balance due. Unless she has some sort of written incident report from the provider, it is going to be her word against the providers.

I know that seems terribly unfair, the only thing I can say is that you would be shocked at some of the things people will come up with to get out of their daycare bill.

She could certainly try to get by without paying and take her chances in court; I think it depends on how much she wants to get done and move on...
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meganlavonnesmommy 12:55 PM 05-31-2011
Are you serious? The provider said she forgot the 3 MONTH OLD BABY wasnt potty trained? Sounds like she forgot he was there at all! How do you forget something like that? It's neglect pure and simple. I would pull him immediately from care. Anyone like that shouldnt not be watching children. Next it will be "I forgot to feed him".

And yes, it sounds like they are propping his bottle, a huge no no. I would remove him immediately, find another provider, and report her.
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sharlan 01:11 PM 05-31-2011
..........I picked up my toddler from daycare the other day and his PullUps and pants were soaked because he had not been changed all day. ...............

The older one wasn't changed. Still no excuse.
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Unregistered 01:34 PM 05-31-2011
You must be new to the childcare experience. Pull your children immediately and report this daycare immediately as well. You should be able to Google daycare licensing in your state to get the correct numbers. This daycare isn't even providing basic services. It sounds like bottle propping and neglect. Your child may also develop a bad diaper rash from not being changed. Please do your homework the next time you select a daycare. (not saying that you didn't initially) Good daycares log diaper changes and I actually thought that was required by the State until a certain age, 3 years included. Also, get referrals from coworkers, friends, neighbors. The good daycare centers will have a waiting list and your local school system will recommend them as well. I actually toured a home daycare that thought it was ok to put infants in a pack n play all day - never could understand how she was getting away with it, and she came recommended to me by my neighbors. Don't be afraid to ask detailed questions on infant and toddler care. There are really good websites that have lists of questions to ask when seeking care. Find them and use them! Good luck!
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Unregistered 05:57 PM 05-31-2011
Would you give an incident report to a parent on any of these occurrences? She should not pay. She should sue first for lost work, new fees, deposit if not promptly returned, and emotional damages and possible future losses. She should ask for punitive damages, legal fees, a new car seat and THEN, should the provider come for the two weeks, she should sue again for costs associated with defending herself, including credit guard and possibly the costs of private care assuming the center has already slandered her to other providers.

You don't pay to protect your children from neglect, you pay for care.

How do you compensate a 3 month old for being fed like a rat?
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jen 10:39 AM 06-01-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Would you give an incident report to a parent on any of these occurrences? She should not pay. She should sue first for lost work, new fees, deposit if not promptly returned, and emotional damages and possible future losses. She should ask for punitive damages, legal fees, a new car seat and THEN, should the provider come for the two weeks, she should sue again for costs associated with defending herself, including credit guard and possibly the costs of private care assuming the center has already slandered her to other providers.

You don't pay to protect your children from neglect, you pay for care.

How do you compensate a 3 month old for being fed like a rat?


http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&key...sl_65q6wrreff_

OK...It's wrong and it's against licensing regs, but c'mon...don't you think you might be being a bit melodramtic?
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Meeko 05:37 AM 06-02-2011
To me it is obvious they are propping bottles in a car seat and then claiming they don't anything about it.. Get outta there!

Your little one should never be in the car seat anyway during care (licensing violation) and bottles should NEVER be propped (serious licensing violation)

Leave as soon as you are able.
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GretasLittleFriends 06:21 AM 06-02-2011
Originally Posted by jen:


http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&key...sl_65q6wrreff_

OK...It's wrong and it's against licensing regs, but c'mon...don't you think you might be being a bit melodramtic?
Sounds like they sell the perfect product. There are ones that attach directly to the carseat!!

In all honesty, I couldn't imagine or using a product like this. My own dd (15) suffered sever earaches and had to have tubes in at 5 months old. To this day I believe it was from the daycare propping bottles. I never saw them do it but heard from other people they did. I was young. I was in high school and it was a school run daycare. I was on the waiting list to get in, and an opening happened right before I was due to go back to school. Other than that they were great with the kids.
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Tags:infant care, neglect, toddler
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