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  #1  
Old 06-12-2011, 12:09 AM
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Gave DCM a 2 week notice this past week. She has been mad but coming. She owed money, didnt pay, I charged a fee all heck broke loose!

She came to pay a day late and I confronted her with the disrespect she had given with some name calling. I remained in a calm nice manner. She was too mad and stubborn to listen. She stood there playing with her phone and wouldnt look me in the eye yet we were face to face! She started getting loud and said dcb wouldnt be back. I said ok have a good day! She walked away cussing I told her to stop cussing in front of my child and she said Fu B! I told my son to go in the house. She threatened that my place would be gone. I asked if it was a threat and she changed it to she will have me shut down. I said leave or I am calling the police! She said call the police u C...! I picked up the phone and dialed. She stood in the street screaming every obscenity she could think of and said she was having me shut down. I turned around to see my son standing there! He said he didnt want to leave me alone and wanted to protect me

Police come quick and I make a report. She calls my cell. Shes screaming I was an ignorant b for kicking her son out and not giving enough time to find a new provider and she will tell everyone that i am not dependable. She will have people say they witnessed me screaming and being mean to her kid and I will lose my business. She makes 3 LONG voicemails like this. I dont pick up or call or text. Then she said she is sick of me and wants her kids shirt and shorts now!

I finally text back that she should have gotten them when she was here but she was too busy cussing and threatening me and I have neighbor who witnessed it. I am not home so she will have to wait until noon tomorrow.

She replies with that wouldnt have happened if u didnt try to get smart! Now u will pay, I will shut u down.

I am thinking about having the police here for the clothing pick up to make sure nothing happens incase she starts again. What would u do?

This same person has praised me many times over a year for teaching her child what she herself could not! These past couple months she has just turned loopy! Literally! I hear she is into drugs bad now. I have a typed and signed ref dated 3 months ago where she praises me and my care for her son. Will this help when she files all the reports she is claiming to do? Also she has been here well over a yr. If I was a bad provider then they will ask why she didnt leave wont they? This all started when I termed her with a 17 day notice actually. I even offered her help getting another provider she declined.

So what is the next step once she files these false but damning reports? Can she shut me down? She said she will have people say they witnessed me screaming and being mean to her kid. I have never done that so she must have a few liars on her side. What now ladies I am soo scared to lose my daycare! I have been a shaking mess all day sick to my stomach! This is my life! I have no other income it's just me and my son!

A very sad result is my poor son asked me what a C--- is!! I hate this woman now! I dont hate anyone but I do now! My poor kid doesnt know all that language! I didnt know what to say i just wanted to cry! I told him it was was mean people call other people and to never say it again. What would u say?

I am calling CCRR 1s thing Monday morn as well as the state inspector. He was here 2 weeks ago and i passed. I also discussed with him at that time this clients behavior and he asked if I wanted to term. I told him at that point no. She was on vacation maybe she would come back to the person she use to be, i would try to stick it out. But he knows of her eratic moody behavior as i told him that day so that may help. What do u think will happen?
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  #2  
Old 06-12-2011, 02:58 AM
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Sorry I approved this post so late. One suggestion is that you keep her voice messages. I would hang on to those in case she does file a complaint. Small claims if she does not pay up money owed.
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:54 AM
Mike Lassiter Mike Lassiter is offline
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You might want to get a digital voice recorder for several reasons. First most voice messages will only save for about 2 weeks and will be automatically deleted by your phone provider. You need to record these so they are not lost. Second I would record EVERYTHING said between the 2 of you. The recorders are small and fit easily in a shirt pocket or laid on a desk or such in the room. Her rants will show the people where the problem is. Also wise to have all of her treats and so on recorded too. If she starts telling damaging lies to hurt your business and your name and character there are consequences for it. Having her saying it all recorded will prove your argument when she lies about saying any of it.
Be very careful though of what you say in the heat of the moment for it too will be recorded and could damage your side of this.
Some people need their ass whooped to show them the world doesn't center around them.
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Old 06-12-2011, 06:55 AM
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I agree with Mike. Record it all and you said you filled out a police report. Did you mention the threats in it? Next is a restraining order. Call the officer in charge and ask how you should deal with the return of the child's things. Tell him/her you are wary of further contact and see what they suggest. It may be something as simple as leaving the bag at the end of your driveway at a planned time so that there is no direct contact.

I went back and read your previous post about this "Drama Mama" and you're better off without her. It's too bad for the child, I can see you got attached to him.
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Old 06-12-2011, 07:25 AM
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This is the most common song and dance that happens when a parent gets termed and didn't expect it or didnt think you'd do it. It may not always go down so nasty but in an essence it is exactly what happens;

provider terms,
parent gets angry, starts making threats and says they will have witnesses say such and such and
then parent calls licensing and makes false claims and
provider is left freaking out imagining the worst.

Forst off; I am so sorry you are going through this!! BTDT and it sucks and leaves you feeling unsure about anything. But rest assured you did nothing wrong. I know where I live this is the same story (different version) of how terming goes. My licensors aren't stupid, they have heard this same thing a million times before. But you need to remember that you have so much going for you. You have documentation of her happiness with your care, you have the police report, the cell phone messages and a neighbor who witnessed her hostile behavior and more than likely documentatinof how this term was building (her child's behavior or hers that led up to your decision to term).

Take a deep breath and know she isn't going to get anywhere with her false claims. If she says she is going to get witnesses say you did whatever..who will these witnessses be? her friends? people who have never been at your care before? Current parents? I don't think she will have any credible witnesses to her made up stories if you really think about it. Plus, if she was so thrilled with you a few months ago, when would any of this false treatment to her son have taken place?

Her story won't add up and and as scary as it seems, you just need to be calm, expect licensing to come because by law they have to, but rest assured that you are a good provider and have nothing to hide. Do not let her anger and bad behavior be your problem any more. Instead, look to the positives; she will no longer be your problem and you will pass any investigation with flying colors because she is the one accusing you and therefore must be able to proove her acusations.

Again, I am sorry this is happening but please do not assume that she holds all the power. Continue being professional and do what you have always done and care for the kids you have now. Try to document everything you can remember and call your licensor first thing in the morning. (I would call her and leave a voicemail even though it is the weekend so even she has sme documentation of time) and tell her how things went down. This will be hepful, because any claims of abuse or neglect that occur AFTER terming and provider notification to the licensor won't hold up IME. Take a deep breath and do not act in anger.

Stop having any communication,text or phone conversations with her and breathe while this whole thing blows over. Hang in there...

SIDE NOTE: I do want to mention that recording someone without their knowledge is usually not legal or submissible to courts as evidence. Voice messages do not fall under that category because people are aware of the fact they are leaving a recorded message.

A harrasment order can be helpful and serve as guarantee that you (and your family) will no longer have any contact with this mother. It will also stop anyone else she may try to get to contact you on her behalf. This is something worth doing IMPO especially due to this mom's volatile behavior.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 06-12-2011 at 07:29 AM.
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  #6  
Old 06-12-2011, 07:49 AM
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Our police dept has a non-emergency number. You might want to see if yours has one that you can call for advice on the situation including the pickup of the child's belongings.

Bug hugs to you! You did nothing wrong so you just need to weather the storm and they'll be gone from your lives soon.
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Old 06-12-2011, 08:49 AM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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mail the belongings to her. Keep your receipt.
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  #8  
Old 06-12-2011, 12:11 PM
GretasLittleFriends GretasLittleFriends is offline
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
mail the belongings to her. Keep your receipt.
I was going to suggest you mail the belongings too. Do it certified mail, receipt requested, meaning she has to sign a card stating she received the box. Of course she can lie and say there was nothing in the box, or whatever else she wants to dream up.
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Old 06-12-2011, 01:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
SIDE NOTE: I do want to mention that recording someone without their knowledge is usually not legal or submissible to courts as evidence. Voice messages do not fall under that category because people are aware of the fact they are leaving a recorded message.
I don't believe this is correct in this case. Taping someone’s conversation without his or her consent cannot be used in court but using a recorded message knowing left on a message machine CAN be used in court.

Last edited by Michael; 06-12-2011 at 01:13 PM.
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Old 06-12-2011, 02:53 PM
wdmmom wdmmom is offline
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I would send the belongings certified with return receipt.

You may also consider contacting the police department and ask if they have your call recorded and if you can get a copy of it. Maybe you will be able to hear her ranting and raving while you made that call.

As for shutting you down, etc. Take a deep breath. Disgruntled clients blow off at the mouth and if you've heard it once, you'll hear it again. I had a DCM tell me she hated me and hated my daycare and on and on and on. I said, "Yep, you hated me enough to bring them EVERYDAY for almost a year, huh!"

Make contact with your licensing agent and report the incident to them. Get a copy of the police report (if one was made). Provide a copy to licensing, CCR&R and keep a copy for your records.

And, yes, keep the voice mails!
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  #11  
Old 06-12-2011, 03:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael View Post
I don't believe this is correct in this case. Taping someone’s conversation without his or her consent cannot be used in court but using a recorded message knowing left on a message machine CAN be used in court.
That's exactly what I was saying...
recording without knowledge:not useable. Voice messages:totally useable.

same thoughts....different words LOL!!
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Old 06-12-2011, 04:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
That's exactly what I was saying...
recording without knowledge:not useable. Voice messages:totally useable.

same thoughts....different words LOL!!
From what I understand, it depends on the state. Some states allow people to use recorded conversations in court as long as one of the parties is aware of the recording device. You may want to check with your state laws.
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
That's exactly what I was saying...
recording without knowledge:not useable. Voice messages:totally useable.

same thoughts....different words LOL!!
Oh yeah, I see, you're right.
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Old 06-12-2011, 06:40 PM
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Originally Posted by spud912 View Post
From what I understand, it depends on the state. Some states allow people to use recorded conversations in court as long as one of the parties is aware of the recording device. You may want to check with your state laws.
Yes as long as ONE person is aware of the tape it's admissable. Ask the police if you call to double check in your state.

Good luck and hugs to you. You did nothing wrong.
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Old 06-12-2011, 09:12 PM
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OP here. Update, she never showed to pick up the clothes today. She was just being a petty control freak, making demands like she always does because I had aldready sent a bag home w/ his things and requested summer supplies which she brought nothing but last yrs tshirt and a pair of shorts that were too small. Thats what she was ranting about.

I didn't call the police to be here I just had a feeling. I had my Mother and a friend of ours come sit and wait with me to witness anything. I also had my cell phone set on video and waiting. I planned if she started I would pick it up, aim and announce she was being recorded therefor I could use it! She never showed or even drove past (which she had done all night last night about every 15 minutes yet she had no gas and the $10 fee would prevent her from feeding her child lol) I didnt text or anything I figure I will ask CCRR what to do. She has not called or text today.

I saw her at the grocery store but I dont know if she saw me but i bet she did. 1st isle I saw her in I heard her voice scream "sit the F still" I looked up an isle sure enough her 3 yr old in the buggy while she had her face shoved in a freezer at the end of the isle. We waved at DCB and smiled and he yelld my sons name and we ducked! lol 5 minutes later another isle and again shes a mile away from the cart and dcb yelling for us. Who knows what she is up to but I am calmer now thanks to u guys and a special lady here. I feel more at ease and able to tackle this head on. I am starting with documentation and 2 phone calls in the morn. 1 to CCRR and the other to the monitor/inspector. Please say a prayer for us?

My son is doing better. He's not so afraid today but he did go to church and ask for a prayer request. He asked for the church to pray for our family AND the client. What a great kid I have! So glad this nutcase is out of our lives.

Thank u all again for the help and support!
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Old 06-13-2011, 02:09 AM
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Thanks for the update.
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Old 06-13-2011, 05:32 AM
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My son is doing better. He's not so afraid today but he did go to church and ask for a prayer request. He asked for the church to pray for our family AND the client. What a great kid I have! So glad this nutcase is out of our lives.

Thank u all again for the help and support!
Awww - that made me cry! You done good Mama! What a sweetheart!
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Old 06-13-2011, 06:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
SIDE NOTE: I do want to mention that recording someone without their knowledge is usually not legal or submissible to courts as evidence. Voice messages do not fall under that category because people are aware of the fact they are leaving a recorded message.
how come police can tap phone lines and record phone conversations and it's legal? and statements are also always taped?

i always just thought recordings weren't usually admissible because if they don't say their name, then there's no way to prove who is saying the stuff.
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Old 06-13-2011, 07:24 AM
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Originally Posted by dEHmom View Post
how come police can tap phone lines and record phone conversations and it's legal? and statements are also always taped?

i always just thought recordings weren't usually admissible because if they don't say their name, then there's no way to prove who is saying the stuff.
Based on what I understand (DON'T take this as for sure) but police can tap phone lines if they have probable cause to do so. They cannot do it "just because" they are nosey or whatever. Like having a search warrant, they must have sufficient evidence to suspect a person is guilty of something illegal. They also tape conversations, but they do tell people ahead of time and then even ask the person to state their full names and so on.

As a pp mentioned, it is wise to find out the laws in your own state since each one seems to differ in that regards.
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