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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>HOA's & Neighbors That Complain
MarinaVanessa 01:02 PM 02-07-2012
A brief background: I live in a condo complex with an HOA and I've run my DC here for several years with absolutely no problems with my DC and neighbors. My BIL, his wife and my nephew live next door. Behind us and a few condos over lives my aunt, uncle, and my two cousins (young adults). We also know most of our immediate neighbors and get along with them.
Okay so yesterday one of my cousins came over and told my DH that their next door neighbor ... lets call her "Mary"... went over to their house and probably to other neighbors homes to recruit them to make a complaint to the HOA about us and my BIL in regards to kids noise levels ("Mary" doesn't know that they are related to me). Mind you that when we play outside I am mindful of the noise level and don't allow unecessary yelling or screaming. We rarely play in the backyard anyway because it's a small area. We mostly play in the common area in the front of my home which is much larger and away from her home and all of the other kids that live in the area play there.
I have a feeling that it's not about my DC kids but rather because we get together next door with my BIL (who has had a confrontation with "Mary" before). On Sunday they had a birthday party for one of my nephews friends at my BIL's house (I know the parents so we were invited) and the kids did play outside and they did get loud. I did not say anything of course because they are not my children, and it was not my home. Of course another reason why none of the parents said anything was because it was during the day and they're children for crying out loud. IT WAS A BIRTHDAY PARTY! The party was over and everyone left by 8pm, our noise ordinence starts at 9pm.
So anyway, I just found it so rediculous that she's even attempting to gather up the neighbors against us. My BIL decided to make a complaint about her before she made her complaint about us in regards to her dog that barks all day. He never complained before because he was trying to keep things civil but he is now pissed. My DH and I have decided to wait and see if she does make a complaint about us and if she does then we will go door to door and talk to the neighbors ourselves, if necessary then we'll get character letters from the neighbors. Anyone else have any suggestions as to what we can do in the case that she does make a complaint and names us? "Mary" is the nosy busybody of the neighborhood. She doesn't work, she walks her dog with a coffee container with booze in it, she always smells like alcohol and she's in the process of losing her home. My DH has also seen her digging through recycle bins including ours for cans and bottles. We don't care of course, she probably needs the money. It just sucks to be dragged into someone elses drama.
Okay so yesterday one of my cousins came over and told my DH that their next door neighbor ... lets call her "Mary"... went over to their house and probably to other neighbors homes to recruit them to make a complaint to the HOA about us and my BIL in regards to kids noise levels ("Mary" doesn't know that they are related to me). Mind you that when we play outside I am mindful of the noise level and don't allow unecessary yelling or screaming. We rarely play in the backyard anyway because it's a small area. We mostly play in the common area in the front of my home which is much larger and away from her home and all of the other kids that live in the area play there.
I have a feeling that it's not about my DC kids but rather because we get together next door with my BIL (who has had a confrontation with "Mary" before). On Sunday they had a birthday party for one of my nephews friends at my BIL's house (I know the parents so we were invited) and the kids did play outside and they did get loud. I did not say anything of course because they are not my children, and it was not my home. Of course another reason why none of the parents said anything was because it was during the day and they're children for crying out loud. IT WAS A BIRTHDAY PARTY! The party was over and everyone left by 8pm, our noise ordinence starts at 9pm.
So anyway, I just found it so rediculous that she's even attempting to gather up the neighbors against us. My BIL decided to make a complaint about her before she made her complaint about us in regards to her dog that barks all day. He never complained before because he was trying to keep things civil but he is now pissed. My DH and I have decided to wait and see if she does make a complaint about us and if she does then we will go door to door and talk to the neighbors ourselves, if necessary then we'll get character letters from the neighbors. Anyone else have any suggestions as to what we can do in the case that she does make a complaint and names us? "Mary" is the nosy busybody of the neighborhood. She doesn't work, she walks her dog with a coffee container with booze in it, she always smells like alcohol and she's in the process of losing her home. My DH has also seen her digging through recycle bins including ours for cans and bottles. We don't care of course, she probably needs the money. It just sucks to be dragged into someone elses drama.
Blackcat31 01:21 PM 02-07-2012
If Mary is the "busy body" of the neighborhood, wouldn't the people she is complaining to already know she is a pot stirrer? I mean if no one else ever complains about you (extended family and all) then I can't imagine that the HOA would take her seriously.
I don't live in an HOA or have any experience with them but was just thinkin' outloud
....
I don't live in an HOA or have any experience with them but was just thinkin' outloud
....
MamaBear 01:53 PM 02-07-2012
Ugh... HOA... I live in a HOA community too. At our old house, we had a busy body that lived right next door. AND she was on the HOA committee!!! She would complain if we had our garbage cans outside past 5pm or if our neighbor's kids forgot to put their portable basketball hoop back in the backyard. It was crazy. She never complained about my daycare kids. But I was always worried she would.
My good friend who does daycare in a condo community nearby has a lady next door that has complained so many times on her regarding the kid's noise or cars parking outside. Now its the point where the HOA office told my friend not to worry - that they realize that this woman is crazy
Maybe they won't bother with her complaint since she most likely is that type that will complain about everything. Thats funny that she complained to your BIL not knowing your related. What a goof
My good friend who does daycare in a condo community nearby has a lady next door that has complained so many times on her regarding the kid's noise or cars parking outside. Now its the point where the HOA office told my friend not to worry - that they realize that this woman is crazy
Maybe they won't bother with her complaint since she most likely is that type that will complain about everything. Thats funny that she complained to your BIL not knowing your related. What a goof
daycare 01:59 PM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
A brief background: I live in a condo complex with an HOA and I've run my DC here for several years with absolutely no problems with my DC and neighbors. My BIL, his wife and my nephew live next door. Behind us and a few condos over lives my aunt, uncle, and my two cousins (young adults). We also know most of our immediate neighbors and get along with them.
Okay so yesterday one of my cousins came over and told my DH that their next door neighbor ... lets call her "Mary"... went over to their house and probably to other neighbors homes to recruit them to make a complaint to the HOA about us and my BIL in regards to kids noise levels ("Mary" doesn't know that they are related to me). Mind you that when we play outside I am mindful of the noise level and don't allow unecessary yelling or screaming. We rarely play in the backyard anyway because it's a small area. We mostly play in the common area in the front of my home which is much larger and away from her home and all of the other kids that live in the area play there.
I have a feeling that it's not about my DC kids but rather because we get together next door with my BIL (who has had a confrontation with "Mary" before). On Sunday they had a birthday party for one of my nephews friends at my BIL's house (I know the parents so we were invited) and the kids did play outside and they did get loud. I did not say anything of course because they are not my children, and it was not my home. Of course another reason why none of the parents said anything was because it was during the day and they're children for crying out loud. IT WAS A BIRTHDAY PARTY! The party was over and everyone left by 8pm, our noise ordinence starts at 9pm.
So anyway, I just found it so rediculous that she's even attempting to gather up the neighbors against us. My BIL decided to make a complaint about her before she made her complaint about us in regards to her dog that barks all day. He never complained before because he was trying to keep things civil but he is now pissed. My DH and I have decided to wait and see if she does make a complaint about us and if she does then we will go door to door and talk to the neighbors ourselves, if necessary then we'll get character letters from the neighbors. Anyone else have any suggestions as to what we can do in the case that she does make a complaint and names us? "Mary" is the nosy busybody of the neighborhood. She doesn't work, she walks her dog with a coffee container with booze in it, she always smells like alcohol and she's in the process of losing her home. My DH has also seen her digging through recycle bins including ours for cans and bottles. We don't care of course, she probably needs the money. It just sucks to be dragged into someone elses drama.
I live in a HOA and I hate it....lolA brief background: I live in a condo complex with an HOA and I've run my DC here for several years with absolutely no problems with my DC and neighbors. My BIL, his wife and my nephew live next door. Behind us and a few condos over lives my aunt, uncle, and my two cousins (young adults). We also know most of our immediate neighbors and get along with them.
Okay so yesterday one of my cousins came over and told my DH that their next door neighbor ... lets call her "Mary"... went over to their house and probably to other neighbors homes to recruit them to make a complaint to the HOA about us and my BIL in regards to kids noise levels ("Mary" doesn't know that they are related to me). Mind you that when we play outside I am mindful of the noise level and don't allow unecessary yelling or screaming. We rarely play in the backyard anyway because it's a small area. We mostly play in the common area in the front of my home which is much larger and away from her home and all of the other kids that live in the area play there.
I have a feeling that it's not about my DC kids but rather because we get together next door with my BIL (who has had a confrontation with "Mary" before). On Sunday they had a birthday party for one of my nephews friends at my BIL's house (I know the parents so we were invited) and the kids did play outside and they did get loud. I did not say anything of course because they are not my children, and it was not my home. Of course another reason why none of the parents said anything was because it was during the day and they're children for crying out loud. IT WAS A BIRTHDAY PARTY! The party was over and everyone left by 8pm, our noise ordinence starts at 9pm.
So anyway, I just found it so rediculous that she's even attempting to gather up the neighbors against us. My BIL decided to make a complaint about her before she made her complaint about us in regards to her dog that barks all day. He never complained before because he was trying to keep things civil but he is now pissed. My DH and I have decided to wait and see if she does make a complaint about us and if she does then we will go door to door and talk to the neighbors ourselves, if necessary then we'll get character letters from the neighbors. Anyone else have any suggestions as to what we can do in the case that she does make a complaint and names us? "Mary" is the nosy busybody of the neighborhood. She doesn't work, she walks her dog with a coffee container with booze in it, she always smells like alcohol and she's in the process of losing her home. My DH has also seen her digging through recycle bins including ours for cans and bottles. We don't care of course, she probably needs the money. It just sucks to be dragged into someone elses drama.
On both sides of me I have wealthy retired people. They were complaining about the kids noise level and I took matters into my own hands to go and apolgize to them, I also took some baked goods with me. Now I make sure we are not too loud, but we have a park just around the corner, so we go there a lot to scream and run.
The kids also sign songs at christams for them, make them holiday goodies, cards and etc. The one family has taken a liking for us that I could say is more of a loving relationship. the other one I think just smiles and says thank you.
Do you think doing something like that would help? Or do you think it's too late?
Maybe go to her and say Hi mary, I heard through the grapevine that my DCK have become a problem for you and I would love to be able to stop them from being a bother to you in any way.... Is there something that I can do to help you enjoy being in your home, while the kids are in my home? See what she says, you might be surprised what she will say....
MarinaVanessa 02:07 PM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
If Mary is the "busy body" of the neighborhood, wouldn't the people she is complaining to already know she is a pot stirrer? I mean if no one else ever complains about you (extended family and all) then I can't imagine that the HOA would take her seriously.
I don't live in an HOA or have any experience with them but was just thinkin' outloud ....
Well, she is the busybody but I'm not sure if she reports other neighbors to the HOA for stuff. She's never made a complaint about us that's for sure (we've never had any complaints at all). If Mary is the "busy body" of the neighborhood, wouldn't the people she is complaining to already know she is a pot stirrer? I mean if no one else ever complains about you (extended family and all) then I can't imagine that the HOA would take her seriously.
I don't live in an HOA or have any experience with them but was just thinkin' outloud
....My DH and I actually got along with her pretty well until she got into a fight with my BIL. Once the bad blood started between them she stopped talking to us.
The first time they had words she was walking her dog near their back fence and the two dogs barked at each other. She took it upon herself to go over to his house when they got home later and scolded my BIL for leaving their dog outside in their yard by himself. He had lived in the condo all of one week. He told her to go home and mind her own business. Later that day she came to my house and tried to recruit me to write a letter about their dog barking. I told her that I didn't hear their dog bark and that's when I told her that they were family. He has also told her to stop digging through their trash. Another time she scolded my nephew for riding his bike by her house which makes her dog bark (he was riding his bike on the street), my BIL again told her to mind her own business, that he was on community property and that if it bothered her when her dog barked when someone was near her fence then maybe she should put her dog inside her house.
So none of it really has anything to do with me and the DC, and I'm not sure why she's even mentioning us but I bet it's just because she doesn't like my BIL. Everyone has pretty much just ignored her antics. I guess I'm just worried that the HOA will see my address and side with her because I have a DC. The whole "There's a complaint about noise. SHe has a DC. It must be true" kind of worries me. KWIM?
MarinaVanessa 02:10 PM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBear:
Thats funny that she complained to your BIL not knowing your related. What a goof
Sorry, let me clarify. She knows that my BIL is related, this is probably why she's throwing us in the complaint also ... she hates him lol, he's the one that lives next door to me. She doesn't know that my uncle, aunt and cousins are related to me, they the ones that live next door to HER. She complained to my aunt about my BIL and us. Still funny though lol Thats funny that she complained to your BIL not knowing your related. What a goof
MarinaVanessa 02:14 PM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
I live in a HOA and I hate it....lol
On both sides of me I have wealthy retired people. They were complaining about the kids noise level and I took matters into my own hands to go and apolgize to them, I also took some baked goods with me. Now I make sure we are not too loud, but we have a park just around the corner, so we go there a lot to scream and run.
The kids also sign songs at christams for them, make them holiday goodies, cards and etc. The one family has taken a liking for us that I could say is more of a loving relationship. the other one I think just smiles and says thank you.
Do you think doing something like that would help? Or do you think it's too late?
Maybe go to her and say Hi mary, I heard through the grapevine that my DCK have become a problem for you and I would love to be able to stop them from being a bother to you in any way.... Is there something that I can do to help you enjoy being in your home, while the kids are in my home? See what she says, you might be surprised what she will say....
I thought about it. Honestly I'd be nervous. She a little wierd and usually always tipsy. She's one of those that you know are wierd but you don't say anything when she does stuff because you don't know what she's capable of when you're on her bad side .... like complaining about you to the HOA because you're related to someone she doesn't like I live in a HOA and I hate it....lol
On both sides of me I have wealthy retired people. They were complaining about the kids noise level and I took matters into my own hands to go and apolgize to them, I also took some baked goods with me. Now I make sure we are not too loud, but we have a park just around the corner, so we go there a lot to scream and run.
The kids also sign songs at christams for them, make them holiday goodies, cards and etc. The one family has taken a liking for us that I could say is more of a loving relationship. the other one I think just smiles and says thank you.
Do you think doing something like that would help? Or do you think it's too late?
Maybe go to her and say Hi mary, I heard through the grapevine that my DCK have become a problem for you and I would love to be able to stop them from being a bother to you in any way.... Is there something that I can do to help you enjoy being in your home, while the kids are in my home? See what she says, you might be surprised what she will say....
.Who knows though. Maybe I'll muster up the courage.
daycare 02:34 PM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I thought about it. Honestly I'd be nervous. She a little wierd and usually always tipsy. She one of those that you know are wierd but you don't say anything when she does stuff because you don't know what she's capable of when you're on her bad side .... like complaining about you to the HOA because you're related to someone she doesn't like.
Who knows though. Maybe I'll muster up the courage.
got it shes a bag of surprises.....like a grab bag never know what your going to get...I thought about it. Honestly I'd be nervous. She a little wierd and usually always tipsy. She one of those that you know are wierd but you don't say anything when she does stuff because you don't know what she's capable of when you're on her bad side .... like complaining about you to the HOA because you're related to someone she doesn't like
.Who knows though. Maybe I'll muster up the courage.
Maybe then just let HOA take care of it. IDK...
so sorry to have to hear you are going through this.i really think that there are some people who love to live in an HOA just so that they have a voice when they want to complain about anything. LIke the time I forgot to bring in my trashcan....gggeeerr
old lady across the road turned me in so fast, I didn't even know what to say..
Hope things get better soon...
Mary Poppins 06:37 PM 02-07-2012
Just curious, are there any rules against having a dc in your HOA regs? If not, then don't sweat it. She will be gone soon enough by the sounds of it and until then just do all you can to make yourself look good and I'm sure it will work out.
I have a neighbor who is similar and thank goodness there is no HOA or she'd be the one running it, guaranteed.
I have a neighbor who is similar and thank goodness there is no HOA or she'd be the one running it, guaranteed.
MarinaVanessa 09:13 AM 02-08-2012
Originally Posted by Mary Poppins:
Just curious, are there any rules against having a dc in your HOA regs? If not, then don't sweat it. She will be gone soon enough by the sounds of it and until then just do all you can to make yourself look good and I'm sure it will work out.
I have a neighbor who is similar and thank goodness there is no HOA or she'd be the one running it, guaranteed.
Nope, no rules against it. But I did have to notify them and show proof of liability insurance. I did find out last night that apparently there's a rule about the noise that says that it can't exceed more than a certain amount of decibals, even during the day. But I still have to look it up to see exactly how loud is too loud. In any case I think that the groundskeeper would have to come by and measure the loudness levels in order to prove and cite me or even issue a warning so I'm not worried about that as much. Just curious, are there any rules against having a dc in your HOA regs? If not, then don't sweat it. She will be gone soon enough by the sounds of it and until then just do all you can to make yourself look good and I'm sure it will work out.
I have a neighbor who is similar and thank goodness there is no HOA or she'd be the one running it, guaranteed.
I feel a lot better about the cituation today than I did yesterday. Especially after talking to my aunt who says that "Mary" got into an altercation with another neighbor down the street. At least I know that they'll be another neighbor that would be willing to write a character letter in my defense
lol
Sugar Magnolia 11:01 AM 02-08-2012
My regular house that I live in, (our center is on the other side of town) has an HOA. My rotten awful neighbors complain about our house and EVERY house within their sight. Stupid, petty junk. It is so bad that some people are talking about selling because this jerk makes them miserable. There is one "Mary" in every deed restricted community. Our HOA is sooooo sick of the guy, their complaint letters are almost apologetic. Hang in there Marina ! Remember, mean people suck. Lol!