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mamamanda 09:08 AM 04-05-2018
If you have a specific policy on crying, would you mind sharing how it's worded? I have a little one who sometimes cries 7 hrs out of the day. I have cared for her anyway b/c she is my niece, but I'm finding that I can't have a sub at all with her present b/c the crying is so overwhelming for them & it's become overwhelming to myself and the other children as well. We've been working together to help solve her health challenges, but I don't know how to word it or how long to allow her to cry before calling for pickup.
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Pestle 09:29 AM 04-05-2018
I haven't got it in writing, but when I had one who screamed nonstop, I started texting for pick up by lunch time.
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Ariana 09:35 AM 04-05-2018
I don’t have it in my policies but I call for pickup after 2 hours. Just do what you have to do! 7 hours is too much for everyone.
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Jo123ABC 12:41 PM 04-05-2018
I recently added it in my "Health and Emergency Care" section. I have a bullet list.

"Should a child become sick during the day, parents will be notified and the child must be picked up as soon as possible. If I am unable to contact you, the person listed as your emergency contact will be called. A child may be sent home if he or she is exhibiting fussy/inconsolable behavior for an extended period of time."
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boy_mom 04:25 PM 04-05-2018
My cry policy was included in my illness policy...

Any child who who is upset, crying or unable to participate in the day (for ANY reason) will be sent home home after 2 hours. Parents must arrive with in 30 minutes of calling for pick up.
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mommyneedsadayoff 04:35 PM 04-05-2018
Originally Posted by boy_mom:
My cry policy was included in my illness policy...

Any child who who is upset, crying or unable to participate in the day (for ANY reason) will be sent home home after 2 hours. Parents must arrive with in 30 minutes of calling for pick up.
Same here. My illness policy included being unable to participate, so excessive crying would be grounds for pick up.

Now that being said, if this is your niece, I would be fairly firm with Mom. A lot of people don't like working for family, but I found that they are the people I can be the most direct with, and they didn't want to rock the boat, so they wanted my input. Is this a case of baby being held non-stop all day? That's a huge transition for an infant into Day Care. If they are setting her up for failure, you need to address it with them.
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mamamanda 05:07 PM 04-05-2018
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Same here. My illness policy included being unable to participate, so excessive crying would be grounds for pick up.

Now that being said, if this is your niece, I would be fairly firm with Mom. A lot of people don't like working for family, but I found that they are the people I can be the most direct with, and they didn't want to rock the boat, so they wanted my input. Is this a case of baby being held non-stop all day? That's a huge transition for an infant into Day Care. If they are setting her up for failure, you need to address it with them.
No, its not b/c they just hold her. Mom's very open to my suggestions. She's just been sick A LOT. She's currently being treated for asthma & reflux. She's had croup once each month for 4 months. And a couple other things. She was hospitalized for a UTI a couple months ago too. I really think she just doesn't feel good. But it's still overwhelming for all.
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mamamanda 05:09 PM 04-05-2018
I guess I'm just looking for what "excessive" means. If she cries for half an hour...2 hours...half a day. At what point do I make the call? My nerves are fried pretty quickly at this point so I don't feel a good judge of when it's excessive enough to call.
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mommyneedsadayoff 05:39 PM 04-05-2018
Originally Posted by mamamanda:
No, its not b/c they just hold her. Mom's very open to my suggestions. She's just been sick A LOT. She's currently being treated for asthma & reflux. She's had croup once each month for 4 months. And a couple other things. She was hospitalized for a UTI a couple months ago too. I really think she just doesn't feel good. But it's still overwhelming for all.
Was she premature or is there another reason for all the illness? What age is she? If she is crying due to pain or discomfort, then I would suggest a sit down with parents. It does no good for her to be miserable and for you and your crew to deal with the crying. It is not normal and life needs much more calm that that can offer. If she has health issues that do not work in your group care, then sit down and let her parents know that they need to make other arrangements.
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boy_mom 07:12 PM 04-05-2018
Originally Posted by mamamanda:
I guess I'm just looking for what "excessive" means. If she cries for half an hour...2 hours...half a day. At what point do I make the call? My nerves are fried pretty quickly at this point so I don't feel a good judge of when it's excessive enough to call.
I think you'll be the best judge of "excessive" for your group. My personal limit was 2 hrs, but I did have a few kids who I sent home even sooner. For whatever reason, some days I just couldn't make it to the 2 hour mark! So pick a time frame that works for you and also let them know some days you may even call sooner!

I also agree with a previous poster, it's time mom and dad take a little of this burden and hopefully address these issue that are causing discomfort. I would also start calling for pick ups, because sometime when you don't feel well you just need to be home with mom to make it better!!

It's so hard when someone continuously cries. I remember I could deal with almost anything, but the non stop crying frayed my nerves! I think it's ok to start telling them that this situation is not ok, and time to find some alternative solutions for you and her!
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Ac114 04:52 AM 04-06-2018
Is your niece on reflux meds? My 8 month old has silent reflux and was always fussy and constantly wanted to nurse. Once we put her on Zantac she was a new baby. What are the parents doing to ease her discomfort. I’m sure it’s hard because she is your niece but like others have said, her parents need to share this burden. Does mom say she is generally crying at home as well?
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mamamanda 05:02 AM 04-06-2018
Yes she cries equally both places. She's been at the children's hospital for testing twice in the last week. She is on zantac & also just started asthma meds a week ago. They actually seem to be helping more than anything else has.
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Blackcat31 07:06 AM 04-06-2018
Some kids simply aren't cut out for daycare.
My own son was not a daycare kid.
That is why I am a daycare provider.

I am guessing that if this weren't your niece you more than likely wouldn't keep this child in care?

If that is true, you really need to do some soul searching....if she is just not a happy camper being in care, it's cruel to not at least discuss that with the parents and it's really unfair to the other kids in care to have to endure the all day crying.

Group care is hard...kids simply have to have the ability to be part of a group but realistically some kids just don't.
This is also the problem with family and/or friends in care....it clouds your judgement and creates a very unique situation in which no matter what you do, someone is still stressed and unhappy.


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mamamanda 09:48 AM 04-06-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Some kids simply aren't cut out for daycare.
My own son was not a daycare kid.
That is why I am a daycare provider.

I am guessing that if this weren't your niece you more than likely wouldn't keep this child in care?

If that is true, you really need to do some soul searching....if she is just not a happy camper being in care, it's cruel to not at least discuss that with the parents and it's really unfair to the other kids in care to have to endure the all day crying.

Group care is hard...kids simply have to have the ability to be part of a group but realistically some kids just don't.
This is also the problem with family and/or friends in care....it clouds your judgement and creates a very unique situation in which no matter what you do, someone is still stressed and unhappy.

Yes, there's no way on Earth I would deal with this for anyone else. But my sister & I are really close. Like twins kind of close. We can be miles apart & get a toothache or stomach ache at the same time. I have always treated her children like my own. It feels so bad to not be able to help this baby. I will say today was her first day back since starting the asthma meds & she has been a jewel. Laughing & kicking her feet to the music. Smiling & engaged when I'm reading. I just keep thinking if we can find a solution it will all be fine. My emotions are definitely all tangled up in this one.
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