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  #1  
Old 06-28-2011, 10:46 AM
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Default Ladies I’m Gonna Need Your Help !!

long story short I am taking care of my niece who has several issues.
care will be short term for only one month until she gets moved to a full time daycare near her home. (waiting for a spot to open) I know I have my work cut out for me and that I am dealing with a child with issues I have never had to understand or deal with....



she is 4 and is in a very emotional state right now as well as very fragile. There is also suspected abuse on the fathers part....but he is no longer in the picture thank god.
she has no verbal skills
no ability to communiate in anyway or listen
is not able to play with others
zero structure of any kind
no consequences at home of any sort


this morning she screamed for 35 min as loud as she could becuase she did not want to eat food.
she would be screaming in a state of rage and then all of a sudden laugh or rectie a line from a cartoon, then go back to screaming. Almost as though she has two personality types. I have never seen anything like it.

during this time, she threw all of her food and then stuck her hand in her mouth to try to make herself vomit.

how do you approach a child like this who is so unstable, and in a fragile state like this?

Last edited by daycare; 06-28-2011 at 10:50 AM.
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Old 06-28-2011, 10:52 AM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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She needs her own adult. Let her go today. It's too hard on her to be in your home. It's not good for her to be anywhere where she would rage. It's BAD for her to be there.

Call whoever cares for her and tell them to come get her right now.
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Old 06-28-2011, 10:55 AM
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Kaddidle Care Kaddidle Care is offline
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Oh wow, how sad. I hope she can overcome what's been done to her. It sounds like she needs a specialist.
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Old 06-28-2011, 10:59 AM
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Sounds like she needs professional help and thank you for opening your heart for her. I know that no matter the pain on my part I would walk thru fire for my niece and nephew. I'm sure you feel the same. Has her dr said how to care for her? Im so hlad she is with you and not a stranger during this transition I can't offer help but know I'm adding this little one and you in my prayers. Sending love.
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:00 AM
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Country Kids Country Kids is offline
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I know she is your niece and you love her very much. You want to do anything in the world to save her but it sounds like she needs alot of help and specialty help. She needs to be slowly introduced into a childcare type setting but probably only with the help of a therapist or someone like that. Alot of children therapist use play type therapy to work with children and it sounds like she really, really needs something like this. I'm really not trying to scare you or discourage you but with the issues like this childcare isn't going to miraculously change her. Does the childcare that they are waiting to get her into know of these issues she has and if they do are they equipped to handle children with problems like this. Please remember that you do have other children to take care of also and you won't be able to work with just her. Having a child like this for even a short time in your care can upset the other children tremendously. Please look and see if there is a program that can help you with her during the day that maybe has a specialist on board. Take it one day at a time and remember we are all here for you.
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
She needs her own adult. Let her go today. It's too hard on her to be in your home. It's not good for her to be anywhere where she would rage. It's BAD for her to be there.

Call whoever cares for her and tell them to come get her right now.
nan she is my niece and she has no where else to go right now,..... she is not always in a state of rage, only when she has to do things that she does not want to do.

right now I have a lot of kids out on vacation and only have two kids here. I am able to work with her, just not too sure how to.... which i am not sure is good for her or not? meaning am I helping her any???
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Country Kids View Post
I know she is your niece and you love her very much. You want to do anything in the world to save her but it sounds like she needs alot of help and specialty help. She needs to be slowly introduced into a childcare type setting but probably only with the help of a therapist or someone like that. Alot of children therapist use play type therapy to work with children and it sounds like she really, really needs something like this. I'm really not trying to scare you or discourage you but with the issues like this childcare isn't going to miraculously change her. Does the childcare that they are waiting to get her into know of these issues she has and if they do are they equipped to handle children with problems like this. Please remember that you do have other children to take care of also and you won't be able to work with just her. Having a child like this for even a short time in your care can upset the other children tremendously. Please look and see if there is a program that can help you with her during the day that maybe has a specialist on board. Take it one day at a time and remember we are all here for you.
my I told my MIL that she needs to seek care from her doctor and that the doctor will decide what to do for her. I also told my MIL that she needed to be evulated by a child therapist. Right now I am documenting all of the unusual behavior in hopes that it will help the doctor to understand her issues.
I know I may not be able to help her, but at least she is in a secure place right now with me and has some form of stability....

I checked out the new daycare and they do care with children with special needs, but they dont know anything about her history...
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
nan she is my niece and she has no where else to go right now,..... she is not always in a state of rage, only when she has to do things that she does not want to do.

right now I have a lot of kids out on vacation and only have two kids here. I am able to work with her, just not too sure how to.... which i am not sure is good for her or not? meaning am I helping her any???
Here I could call my referral service, they have inclusion specialists behavioral therepasts, etc that will come work with me for free!!!
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:05 AM
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Here I could call my referral service, they have inclusion specialists behavioral therepasts, etc that will come work with me for free!!!
Maybe you have something like this? They are funded thru united way
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:06 AM
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Maybe you have something like this? They are funded thru united way
great advice I can call them and find out!!

My SIL has great insurance through her work and can get help through them. My MIL and SIL are on board to having her checked out.
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:11 AM
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Also maybe an Early Intervention Program? I know they work with children but I'm not sure what they have to do to quality.
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:28 AM
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Definitely get her evaluated through early intervention. Maybe they can provide services that will help her. Has she had her preschool/kindergarten evaluation yet? I'm surprised she hasn't been flagged already from the sounds of things.
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:28 AM
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it doesn't sound like there are other options right now. you aren't trained to work with abused children. you can do your best short term but mom needs to pursue therapy and other evaluations to figure out what would be best.
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daysofelijah View Post
Definitely get her evaluated through early intervention. Maybe they can provide services that will help her. Has she had her preschool/kindergarten evaluation yet? I'm surprised she hasn't been flagged already from the sounds of things.
she has been a bubble child her whole life. has never been in a DC, never been to a park, never played outside.... I am the first caretaker to take place in her life outside of her home, which used to consist of mom,dad,gm and gp....dad is now gone.
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