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safechner 05:30 PM 07-08-2010
I have a 7 1/2 year old dcg called my 9 years old daughter a pathetic a few times. It is a good thing she don't understand what she said since she is deaf. I explained to her not to use it because it is very mean word. Today, I heard what she said "What the heck." I talked to her not to use that word again because that is bad word. She said no that is not bad word. I am not sure if heck is a bad word but I don't think it is appropriate for her to say that to my small dc children and my own. Just wondering how do she know a lot of words like pathetic, what the heck, etc. It seems like she can say anything whatever she wants but this is unacceptable. Any suggestion?
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swaddlebees 05:47 PM 07-08-2010
i don't consider heck unnacceptable

Pathetic, i would encourage not to be used. I would chat with the parents and see what they say
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Bizzymom1111 05:56 PM 07-08-2010
Originally Posted by safechner:
I have a 7 1/2 year old dcg called my 9 years old daughter a pathetic a few times. It is a good thing she don't understand what she said since she is deaf. I explained to her not to use it because it is very mean word. Today, I heard what she said "What the heck." I talked to her not to use that word again because that is bad word. She said no that is not bad word. I am not sure if heck is a bad word but I don't think it is appropriate for her to say that to my small dc children and my own. Just wondering how do she know a lot of words like pathetic, what the heck, etc. It seems like she can say anything whatever she wants but this is unacceptable. Any suggestion?
It's amazing what kids pick up huh? I really don't think most kids know what in the world they are actually saying when they use these words that they hear. Just let her know that while she may be able to say these things at home, you don't allow it in your home. Period. Your daycare, your rules.
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Daycare Mommy 06:01 PM 07-08-2010
Heck isn't horrible, but I would still correct her to say, "What in the world?" instead. Pathetic, I guess it would depend on the context. If she's saying it rudely and trying to hurt your daughter's feelings I'd correct her. If this is the same girl that you've complained about before and she is still up to the same thing, I wouldn't keep her any longer. It's hard enough for kids to deal with open contempt from their peers in school, but for your daughter to have to deal with it in her own house is really sad to me.
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QualiTcare 07:26 PM 07-08-2010
bad words are really a matter of opinion. i actually had a "disagreement" with a former co-worker about this. she was used to working with 4 year olds and i had been working with school age kids (5-12). well, she came over to help out in the school age room for the summer and the 11/12 year old boys that said things like "what the heck" or "crap" without me caring were all of a sudden getting in trouble for it.

bottom line was she thought it was inappropriate and my response was, "if the worst thing my 12 year old son is doing is saying "heck" and "crap" i'll consider myself a lucky lady!"

kids are going to say things they hear. my daughter has said "moron" along with a few other (worse) things because she's heard me say them! of course, i could deny it and say, "i have NO IDEA where she heard that," but we all know that's a lie. i simply told her what IS and what is NOT acceptable to say. if it was something she'd heard me say, i'd just tell her, "i know i said it, but i shouldn't have, and you can't say it either." now, she's 6, and she'll come and ask me if a certain word is OKAY to say. she asked me just the other day if "freaking" was a bad word - and i said it's not really a CUSS word, but it's not something you can say. end of story.

she knows there are words i say that she can't say. do as i say and not as i do DOES have a place sometimes - and this is one of them. you can't shield them from everything - they'll hear/see/do it eventually so you just have to decide what's acceptable for YOU and your kid and let them know the boundaries - and everyone's are different.
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Former Teacher 09:46 PM 07-08-2010
Whenever my kiddos would say something like that..I would simply tell them that "its not a bad word but it's not something nice to say" and leave it at that.

It's one of those things that you don't want to bring attention to it and yet you don't want to ignore it either!
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QualiTcare 10:37 PM 07-08-2010
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
Whenever my kiddos would say something like that..I would simply tell them that "its not a bad word but it's not something nice to say" and leave it at that.

It's one of those things that you don't want to bring attention to it and yet you don't want to ignore it either!
perfect answer......i say that to my daughter too!
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DBug 04:25 AM 07-09-2010
Yep, those words would be unacceptable in my house too! I generally just say something like "We don't use that word in my house", and usually kids are so taken aback, they go along with it. If they are insulting someone, it's just "We use nice words here". That way it doesn't matter if the rules are different at home, they know what I expect while they're here, at my house.

I would hate to have a parent come and say to me "Did my child learn to say @#%! at daycare?", and for it to be true!
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safechner 06:48 AM 07-09-2010
Thanks for all of your comments! It is so much mean to me. I will talk to dcg about it and it will not acceptable in my house but she can say anything she wants at home. Now my 7 1/2 years old daughter learned a few words from her and walked to my husband to find out what it means. That would be suck but I know she will learn a lot of things. I know she won't say anything like that if it is foul words. She knew she would get in a lot of trouble from me because she can't stand being ground for a week or so. My 9 years old daughter don't know all of bad words yet. I feel so horrible for her insulted to my daughter for no reason. All she wants to play with her but she won't want to play with her and said those words to her. For a past few years, a few 2-4 years old don't mind to play with her and it is amazing for them understand about her who has PDD on Autism Spectrum. My 7 1/2 years old daughter's friends dont mind, too. I thank god for that because I hate to see my daughter lonely since she don't have deaf friends yet. We are suing my daughter's school this year twice for inappropriate education. We won the case for the first time and they still refused to follow the hearing officer's orders so that is why we are suing them again. It is a long story.
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safechner 06:51 AM 07-09-2010
Originally Posted by Daycare Mommy:
Heck isn't horrible, but I would still correct her to say, "What in the world?" instead. Pathetic, I guess it would depend on the context. If she's saying it rudely and trying to hurt your daughter's feelings I'd correct her. If this is the same girl that you've complained about before and she is still up to the same thing, I wouldn't keep her any longer. It's hard enough for kids to deal with open contempt from their peers in school, but for your daughter to have to deal with it in her own house is really sad to me.
I have thought about letting her go but the problem is, I don't want to lose her 16 month old sister. I only watch her 3 more weeks so I will deal with it. I know it is sad but I have planned for my girls to go to camp those weeks while she is here.
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Childminder 07:27 AM 07-09-2010
When the SA children come in saying 'bad' words I take them aside and explain that some words are not acceptable for the younger children and their parents don't like it when they come come saying 'crap' or 'weirdo' or whatever the word of the day is. After our talk it always stops. The older ones are trying to be big man on campus and use these 'big' words to show off. With the younger ones I just say "no potty mouth".
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Janet 07:45 AM 07-09-2010
I'm pretty easy going when it comes to "bad words". I don't have issues with what kids say unless they are using their words to hurt each other. I'm terrible when it comes to saying things like "holy crap" and "what the heck" and "you guys are little turds" and things like that. I don't mind if the kids say those things either, as long as it's being said in a silly manner. The big no-no's here are telling people to shut up and insulting them as a means of hurting them.
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MarinaVanessa 09:49 AM 07-09-2010
Originally Posted by Janet:
I'm pretty easy going when it comes to "bad words". I don't have issues with what kids say unless they are using their words to hurt each other.
That's how I feel. To me "That's dumb" and "You're dumb" are completely different. The 1st would roll off my shoulders, the 2nd wouldn't fly by me.
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Tags:bad words, cussing
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