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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCD Rubbed Me The Wrong Way At Pick Up Today...
KristinsHomeCC 01:59 PM 05-09-2016
On my 2nd week with new DCB. He's almost 9 months and chunky as heck. They just pulled him out of his old home daycare because they found out she was smoking around the children (don't worry, completely diff. story lol) Well, I provide pack N plays for the infants to sleep in. This baby wants nothing of the sort and he is used to sleeping in swings. This would be fine if the 26 lb. old 9 month old fit in my swing, he doesn't. SO, DCM (on paperwork) writes that he falls asleep in swing or if I rock his car seat.

Friday afternoon he was screaming bloody murder whenever I laid him in the pack N play. Texted mom with a sweet pic of him fallen asleep in his carseat shortly after being put in it and that it was his happy place (smiley face).

Also, remember I have cameras in play rooms so that parents can log in -TO SEE THEIR CHILDREN PLAY-. DCD gets here today and he says, so I'm curious about something! I thought it would be a good question and was excited to answer it until he asked me why his son is in his car seat so much. I am gladly going to go over the entire day on fast forward on my DVR and record it to play for him and DCM, to proudly show that my days consist of WORK and not of me putting his child into his car seat all day long. Are you kidding me? He was in it for an hour nap this morning and an hour nap this afternoon (was still sleeping in it when DCD picked up)

So...Now I have this in my head. He was real nice afterwards, "ok ok I was just curious". But now, I feel like I'm being monitored. I feel like I will feel so uncomfortable tomorrow morning when I turn those cameras on knowing that I'm being watched. How insecure am I going to feel when that baby wants nothing but to sleep in his car seat tomorrow? I guess I'll call DCD for early pick up since I won't be able to soothe his baby

Oh god..this sucks. Am I overreacting?
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Blackcat31 02:03 PM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC:
On my 2nd week with new DCB. He's almost 9 months and chunky as heck. They just pulled him out of his old home daycare because they found out she was smoking around the children (don't worry, completely diff. story lol) Well, I provide pack N plays for the infants to sleep in. This baby wants nothing of the sort and he is used to sleeping in swings. This would be fine if the 26 lb. old 9 month old fit in my swing, he doesn't. SO, DCM (on paperwork) writes that he falls asleep in swing or if I rock his car seat.

Friday afternoon he was screaming bloody murder whenever I laid him in the pack N play. Texted mom with a sweet pic of him fallen asleep in his carseat shortly after being put in it and that it was his happy place (smiley face).

Also, remember I have cameras in play rooms so that parents can log in -TO SEE THEIR CHILDREN PLAY-. DCD gets here today and he says, so I'm curious about something! I thought it would be a good question and was excited to answer it until he asked me why his son is in his car seat so much. I am gladly going to go over the entire day on fast forward on my DVR and record it to play for him and DCM, to proudly show that my days consist of WORK and not of me putting his child into his car seat all day long. Are you kidding me? He was in it for an hour nap this morning and an hour nap this afternoon (was still sleeping in it when DCD picked up)

So...Now I have this in my head. He was real nice afterwards, "ok ok I was just curious". But now, I feel like I'm being monitored. I feel like I will feel so uncomfortable tomorrow morning when I turn those cameras on knowing that I'm being watched. How insecure am I going to feel when that baby wants nothing but to sleep in his car seat tomorrow? I guess I'll call DCD for early pick up since I won't be able to soothe his baby

Oh god..this sucks. Am I overreacting?
Okay, I stopped reading at the bolded part......


Under no circumstances is that fine. ever.

Soooo dangerous and soooooo against safe sleep practices.
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KristinsHomeCC 02:05 PM 05-09-2016
Sleeping in the swing? I know it is! What is the suggestion if a baby will not sleep in bed?
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KristinsHomeCC 02:10 PM 05-09-2016
I'm going to back track this as I was shaken up when I wrote this, before it turns into a bash post for safe sleeping practices.


The swing does not matter since one does not even exist for him to sleep in, in the first place. It was brought up because that's what old provider did for him. I know it is not safe, but this wasn't my child care I was talking about.

I use pack N plays or provider cribs for my infants. Toddlers sleep on mats on floor. This baby would go into a Pack N Play in normal circumstances.
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snbauser 02:10 PM 05-09-2016
First - babies should not sleep in their car seats or swings. I know our licensing is clear that if they do fall asleep they are to be immediately put into their bed. It takes times to transition but I would highly recommend it.

Second - this is a HUGE reason why I would never do camera's. If parents log it twice and both times the baby is sleeping, you are automatically someone who puts them in their seat all day. If they log in and baby is crying and they don't see you consoling, then you are neglecting their child. Doesn't matter that you may be feeding another child, helping a child in the bathroom, fixing lunch or even heaven forbid, using the bathroom yourself. Way too many things that can be misinterpreted just popping in to check a video feed.
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KristinsHomeCC 02:12 PM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by snbauser:
First - babies should not sleep in their car seats or swings. I know our licensing is clear that if they do fall asleep they are to be immediately put into their bed. It takes times to transition but I would highly recommend it.

Second - this is a HUGE reason why I would never do camera's. If parents log it twice and both times the baby is sleeping, you are automatically someone who puts them in their seat all day. If they log in and baby is crying and they don't see you consoling, then you are neglecting their child. Doesn't matter that you may be feeding another child, helping a child in the bathroom, fixing lunch or even heaven forbid, using the bathroom yourself. Way too many things that can be misinterpreted just popping in to check a video feed.
I've had these cameras with no problems for a year this month. This was my first "bring up" about something I was doing. I am completely comfortable with my current families that love to check in when I send them a text that we'll be doing a fun activity in "x" room at "x" time. This DCD makes me seriously want to shut them off. I think I will just be uncomfortable with this continuing.
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Blackcat31 02:13 PM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC:
Sleeping in the swing? I know it is! What is the suggestion if a baby will not sleep in bed?
There is none. He needs to sleep in a PNP or crib.

Sleeping in a swing or car seat is not safe or acceptable.

I'd show her your state regulations or provide her with safe sleep information.

It's up to the parent to "train" their child to sleep in a manner in which they can at daycare. If they co-sleep or allow baby to sleep in unsafe positions (swing or car seat) on their time, that is their option (still not recommended but we can't control what parents do at home) but I would absolutely share with them what you are and aren't allowed to do in care and then EXPECT them to follow through on that.

If child does not settle in and sleep in a manner that is acceptable by licensing rules then you are either going to have to rock him to sleep until you no longer have to or you'll have to terminate care.

I will NOT keep a child that cannot thrive in care.

I will PM you a letter I give parents that helps them understand where I am coming from...
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NeedaVaca 02:17 PM 05-09-2016
Babies can't sleep in car seats either! I actually gasped when you said you took a picture of that and sent it to mom. That could put you out of business if the picture gets into the wrong hands or if this family terms or gets termed... I can't even count the number of infant deaths at daycare from sleeping in car seats I have seen on the news lately.
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KristinsHomeCC 02:29 PM 05-09-2016
After continuing discussing it with DCD, he suggested putting the pack N play in our playroom because DCB isn't used to sleeping in a room alone. I have a fairly small house where the pack N plays/cribs are in a seperate bedroom so that thise sleeping are able to do so peacefully. I am all about the transition and making him comfortable but good lord...it really really rubbed me bad. I'm also PMSing so who knows
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Thriftylady 02:32 PM 05-09-2016
Please don't let this child sleep anywhere but the PNP or crib. It could be deadly, and you would loose your career and could end up in jail. If baby will not sleep in a PNP or crib you have two choices. 1.Sleep train him. 2. Term if the parents won't get on board with sleep training. But please do not take the chance! And if licensing came in, it would likely be a HUGE fine/violation.
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mommyneedsadayoff 02:47 PM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC:
After continuing discussing it with DCD, he suggested putting the pack N play in our playroom because DCB isn't used to sleeping in a room alone. I have a fairly small house where the pack N plays/cribs are in a seperate bedroom so that thise sleeping are able to do so peacefully. I am all about the transition and making him comfortable but good lord...it really really rubbed me bad. I'm also PMSing so who knows
I am saying this sincerely and without judgement. You r first mistake was letting the parents dictate what you do at your house. He should not be in a swing/carseat or any other type of equipment for sleep. You already know that, though, so my bigger point is that you need to stop letting parents use camera feed to watch you. Not only is it a huge invasion of privacy for you and everyone in your care, but as you stated, it misleads parents in to thinking...well, whatever they want to think. It is way to open to interpretation, not to mention the privacy issue.

I understand your frustration, but you are using logic that just is not justified. "well he won't sleep in XXX, so what else am i going to do???" You are going to use safe sleep practice or you are going to term...no family or child is worth the havoc that one bad situation can ave on you, your family, or your business.
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rosieteddy 02:52 PM 05-09-2016
I totally get where you are coming from..Been there done that ,but the regs have changed.. I start a tough infant by rocking if I had to.Then when they were asleep laying them down in the pack and play.I also found that a radio in all napping areas be on from start of nap until end.The radio was on same station everywhere...I tried to put crib where I could see it.I would hate to have had cameras .Good luck.
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KristinsHomeCC 02:56 PM 05-09-2016
Thank you all for your concern on the safe sleeping practices. I can assure you the car seat will not be used again, regardless of how uncomfortable or irritated the baby is in the Pack N Play.

As far as letting the parents dictate what I do here, it's not so much that. I run a smaller home child care by choice and only allow a certain number of children here. (Way under my ratio allowance). I tend to want better relationships with the families, quality vs. quantity sort of thing. So when they request I do something to make their child more comfortable, I'm going to give it a try until it exceeds my comfort zone or it makes things overall more difficult.
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Cat Herder 03:01 PM 05-09-2016
A crying baby is an alive baby.

Don't make me tell my son's story again. I am having a good day.
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mommyneedsadayoff 03:02 PM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC:
Thank you all for your concern on the safe sleeping practices. I can assure you the car seat will not be used again, regardless of how uncomfortable or irritated the baby is in the Pack N Play.

As far as letting the parents dictate what I do here, it's not so much that. I run a smaller home child care by choice and only allow a certain number of children here. (Way under my ratio allowance). I tend to want better relationships with the families, quality vs. quantity sort of thing. So when they request I do something to make their child more comfortable, I'm going to give it a try until it exceeds my comfort zone or it makes things overall more difficult.
Parents always request what will make their kid more comfortable...some things we can do, some we cannot. All of us run a program that is QUALITY versus quantity and we do so in a way that follows licensing standards. We have had numerous threads, but BC just mentioned it recently, "Parents cannot give permission to do the wrong thing". You may think that is a quality, but in reality, the minute you compromise on safety to appease a parent, you are offering less that quality service. Please do not think I ma trying to be hard on your or be mean...I am sincerely trying to let you know that you must think of yourself and your family first. Don't let parent problems be your problem.
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KristinsHomeCC 03:13 PM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Parents always request what will make their kid more comfortable...some things we can do, some we cannot. All of us run a program that is QUALITY versus quantity and we do so in a way that follows licensing standards. We have had numerous threads, but BC just mentioned it recently, "Parents cannot give permission to do the wrong thing". You may think that is a quality, but in reality, the minute you compromise on safety to appease a parent, you are offering less that quality service. Please do not think I ma trying to be hard on your or be mean...I am sincerely trying to let you know that you must think of yourself and your family first. Don't let parent problems be your problem.
Crap! I'm so bad with internet stuff -- I meant the comfort thing to go along with moving PNP around to fit the DCB's needs! I just need to shut up and eat some chocolate

OAN: Do I really need to rethink the camera thing if I get rid of the bad apples, who think it's their job to monitor me? I've had nothing but good experience with it..and I was *JUST* telling my husband this morning about how no one has ever tried to bring anything like this up!!
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Thriftylady 03:24 PM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC:
Crap! I'm so bad with internet stuff -- I meant the comfort thing to go along with moving PNP around to fit the DCB's needs! I just need to shut up and eat some chocolate

OAN: Do I really need to rethink the camera thing if I get rid of the bad apples, who think it's their job to monitor me? I've had nothing but good experience with it..and I was *JUST* telling my husband this morning about how no one has ever tried to bring anything like this up!!
I would not have cameras that parents can access. Period, end of story. It is a lawsuit looking for a place to happen. They can think they saw you do something wrong, and it not be what they thought. You may not be found guilty, but in the long drawn out court battle, your name will be drug through the mud, and you will spend a fortune defending yourself over something that never happened.
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Thriftylady 03:26 PM 05-09-2016
Oh, and dad does not get to say where you put the pack and play. I will tell you what I think plain and simple. This family needs a nanny, they want nanny care but to pay for group care. I termed one of those last summer. Best thing I have done in quite some time!
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laundrymom 04:12 PM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
A crying baby is an alive baby.

Don't make me tell my son's story again. I am having a good day.
This. This right here. Thank you for saying no more car seat OP.
Now, stay tough. It's rough. Either he will get over it and sleep or you will decide to term. Make sure parents know that is the two options. He will break or you will term. And he will break easier if they dont put him at risk of SIDS at home.
Make sure they know
"I can't increase his sids risk at daycare. If you choose to at home that is your conscious. I won't do it here "
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Blackcat31 06:01 PM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Oh, and dad does not get to say where you put the pack and play. I will tell you what I think plain and simple. This family needs a nanny, they want nanny care but to pay for group care. I termed one of those last summer. Best thing I have done in quite some time!
But this is the type of request she CAN accommodate.

It falls under her niche services.

It does not go against safe sleep/licensing regulations and does not compromise anyone's life or livelihood.
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Play Care 03:12 AM 05-10-2016
My regulations are fairly strict as to where baby can be and what they can be in. I nap babies in my dining room because if they wake crying, I can get to them before they wake everyone else up. This is non-negotiable. The only way I'd consider them sleeping in the main play room is if they were great sleepers.

I know some will disagree but when I have a challenging infant, I get everyone else down and will feed then rock baby putting them down very drowsy (practically asleep...) as time goes on I find I rock less and the child is able to go down like everyone else.

If, despite my best effort, baby was crying/not sleeping then I'd have no choice but to term.
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Thriftylady 04:39 AM 05-10-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
But this is the type of request she CAN accommodate.

It falls under her niche services.

It does not go against safe sleep/licensing regulations and does not compromise anyone's life or livelihood.
She CAN accommodate it, but once she does what do they ask for next? In my experience, once you accommodate special, they will ask for more and more special. And this family is already doing that now. I am just saying I personally wouldn't accommodate it, because it seems like it will just be the first in a long line of accommodations this family wants. If she chooses to, then that is fine, but I wouldn't.
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KristinsHomeCC 04:46 AM 05-10-2016
Thanks guys! So I ended up emailing DCM last night and said we will start sleep training in PnP today. I also said it will be *in the nap room* and he will just have to adjust. I'm really not meshing with the DCB or family anyways so I'm terminating Friday at the end of our trial period. If they are already getting me this ruffled up on the 6th day, it's not a good sign to me at all.
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Thriftylady 05:03 AM 05-10-2016
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC:
Thanks guys! So I ended up emailing DCM last night and said we will start sleep training in PnP today. I also said it will be *in the nap room* and he will just have to adjust. I'm really not meshing with the DCB or family anyways so I'm terminating Friday at the end of our trial period. If they are already getting me this ruffled up on the 6th day, it's not a good sign to me at all.
Wow that new and all of this? I agree I would have to term also. Not worth the stress. Just an FYI, I have a place on my contract to sign about how children will sleep and it is in my handbook. Perhaps add it so parents will no longer expect you to vary from it? Parents here have to initial it on the contract, that infants will sleep in a PNP and no other place. That way when they ask, I can say "you signed off on this policy".
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Blackcat31 05:15 AM 05-10-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
She CAN accommodate it, but once she does what do they ask for next? In my experience, once you accommodate special, they will ask for more and more special. And this family is already doing that now. I am just saying I personally wouldn't accommodate it, because it seems like it will just be the first in a long line of accommodations this family wants. If she chooses to, then that is fine, but I wouldn't.
You missed the point.

This provider DOES offer "special" services and DOES take requests from parents.

I know you personally wouldn't but she isn't asking what any of us would do, she asking about HER situation and she has already stated that she runs a smaller program on purpose so she CAN honor special requests and abide by parental choices.
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Blackcat31 05:19 AM 05-10-2016
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC:
Thanks guys! So I ended up emailing DCM last night and said we will start sleep training in PnP today. I also said it will be *in the nap room* and he will just have to adjust. I'm really not meshing with the DCB or family anyways so I'm terminating Friday at the end of our trial period. If they are already getting me this ruffled up on the 6th day, it's not a good sign to me at all.
If you are terminating care after such short notice, why bother sleep training? That's awfully unfair to the DCB...

HOW and WHERE has he been sleeping over the last 5 days?

I guess I think it would be really unfair to attempt to alter this child's sleep routine for only 4 days if you haven't already done it from day one.

Honestly, I don't feel this is term worthy as you've already said the mom agreed to begin sleep training via e-mail last night so why not continue to try if mom/dad are now aware of the situation and are willing to move forward in a manner in which you ARE able to accommodate?

But like I said above, your program..your choice.
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Rockgirl 05:44 AM 05-10-2016
To me, it sounds like the parents haven't been trained in safe sleep practices. I'm also thinking I wouldn't term over this, but I would give them info, and make it clear that safe sleep practices would be followed at daycare.

I really don't think dcd was being unreasonable by asking the question. It sounds like he was just wondering. Of course I wasn't there and don't know what his tone was.
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Thriftylady 05:48 AM 05-10-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
To me, it sounds like the parents haven't been trained in safe sleep practices. I'm also thinking I wouldn't term over this, but I would give them info, and make it clear that safe sleep practices would be followed at daycare.

I really don't think dcd was being unreasonable by asking the question. It sounds like he was just wondering. Of course I wasn't there and don't know what his tone was.
I somewhat agree with this, but the OP's last post seems like she is really stressed over the situation. I have gotten to the point where if parents are stressing me out, I will term. Of course you can try to talk to them about it and try to work it out.

OP are you planning on terming just because your trial period is coming to an end? Would you stick it out otherwise? If that is the only reason, maybe you could extend the trial period? That would give you a chance to see how things go. It just depends on if you want to work with the parents more or not.
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KristinsHomeCC 06:04 AM 05-10-2016
I guess you cant really fit a whole weeks story into a single post, haha!

DCB sleeps in crib at home in parents room. Just fine, they say. Here he does not want to be in the pack N play, I am guessing because his last provider had him since 10 weeks and always used his car seat or swing, so thats what parents said to do here. So, I guess it really isnt sleep training him if thats how he sleeps at home..its just sleep training him for my house, if that makes sense.

As far as terming..I am not bonding w this baby at all. My other 9m old I was in love with since day 1. I also don't feel like the parents and I really mesh (besides DCDs comment). It just doesn't feel right. I dont fill myself to the max with kids but I do have a waiting list for my 4th spot (new DCBs spot) so I feel if it doesnt feel like a good fit, why not term when I have the chance to end it without hard feelings?
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Thriftylady 06:06 AM 05-10-2016
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC:
I guess you cant really fit a whole weeks story into a single post, haha!

DCB sleeps in crib at home in parents room. Just fine, they say. Here he does not want to be in the pack N play, I am guessing because his last provider had him since 10 weeks and always used his car seat or swing, so thats what parents said to do here. So, I guess it really isnt sleep training him if thats how he sleeps at home..its just sleep training him for my house, if that makes sense.

As far as terming..I am not bonding w this baby at all. My other 9m old I was in love with since day 1. I also don't feel like the parents and I really mesh (besides DCDs comment). It just doesn't feel right. I dont fill myself to the max with kids but I do have a waiting list for my 4th spot (new DCBs spot) so I feel if it doesnt feel like a good fit, why not term when I have the chance to end it without hard feelings?
If you feel term is what is needed, do it. We don't know everything, you can't really have a full discussion on the boards. At the end of the day it is your decision. I mean if it was one thing, maybe you could extend your trial. But if it is more than that, then you can do what you see as best!
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Rockgirl 06:13 AM 05-10-2016
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC:
I guess you cant really fit a whole weeks story into a single post, haha!

DCB sleeps in crib at home in parents room. Just fine, they say. Here he does not want to be in the pack N play, I am guessing because his last provider had him since 10 weeks and always used his car seat or swing, so thats what parents said to do here. So, I guess it really isnt sleep training him if thats how he sleeps at home..its just sleep training him for my house, if that makes sense.

As far as terming..I am not bonding w this baby at all. My other 9m old I was in love with since day 1. I also don't feel like the parents and I really mesh (besides DCDs comment). It just doesn't feel right. I dont fill myself to the max with kids but I do have a waiting list for my 4th spot (new DCBs spot) so I feel if it doesnt feel like a good fit, why not term when I have the chance to end it without hard feelings?
Only you can decide. If you are stressed and miserable, term. There have been times that I wished I had termed long before I finally did. Good luck!
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Ariana 07:52 AM 05-10-2016
I think the main issue here is that this child needs to be sleep trained, which you have already figured out. I personally wouldn't term because sleep training is super easy to do and will be beneficial to you in the end. Totally up to you of course! Parents can really make it hard for their children to bond with providers.
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daycarediva 10:27 AM 05-10-2016
I would either term immediately, or offer to extend their trial and attempt to sleep train him.

Ask how parents get him to sleep AT HOME in a crib, and see if you can help him learn.

I would never, not ever, put him to sleep in a car seat or swing. EVER. I don't care if the pope gave me permission.
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sharlan 11:43 AM 05-10-2016
First, parents can NEVER give you permission to do the wrong thing - such as allow an infant to sleep in a carseat.

Second, it doesn't sound like you really care for this family. It's time to term and both parties move on.
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bubblegum 01:48 PM 05-10-2016
I am a provider but as a parent I would take the camera access as an invitation to monitor, imo
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Unregistered 05:12 PM 05-10-2016
Dad wants the pnp in the playroom since that is where the camera is and he can monitor the baby during naps too.
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Josiegirl 03:37 AM 05-11-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Dad wants the pnp in the playroom since that is where the camera is and he can monitor the baby during naps too.
If it were me I'd remember this is MY business and run it the way I feel is right for all. If parents don't like it, they can go on to the next place. Personally, I would never offer cameras unless I had strict rules about them. It'd be too easy for dcps to misconstrue what's happening or call every shot or try to have you do special over every little thing. Even with just 4 dcks that can be a problem. Heck, if I had just 1 dck it could be a problem. Nice gesture but wouldn't fly. Besides, what dcps think would work the best may not always be so, especially heading towards when they get a bit older. For example, some dcps don't let their babies cry during tummy time but it's important for their physical and emotional development.
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Blackcat31 05:33 AM 05-11-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Dad wants the pnp in the playroom since that is where the camera is and he can monitor the baby during naps too.
I see no issue with this.

It is something the provider offers so I don't see any issue with this.

Dad is well within his rights as the child care he enrolled his child in, offers video monitoring for him to do exactly that.

Monitor his child. Awake and asleep.
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Josiegirl 05:47 AM 05-11-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I see no issue with this.

It is something the provider offers so I don't see any issue with this.

Dad is well within his rights as the child care he enrolled his child in, offers video monitoring for him to do exactly that.

Monitor his child. Awake and asleep.
I agree BUT can you imagine a dcp watching their child being sleep trained? To me, if a parent hasn't tried that anyways, it would be awfully difficult being at work and watching your child cry. It's a whole lot easier for a provider to tolerate it than a parent. I couldn't have done it as a young parent but have little problem with crying babies if they're somebody else's. That's why I'd never off video monitoring at my dc.
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Josiegirl 05:51 AM 05-11-2016
I have to add that every time I know I'm being watched, whether it's an inspection, or a dck inadvertently video-taping their dc friends and including me, I get extremely nervous and don't act like myself. No goofing around, no singing or dancing like a fool. It's not that I want to hide anything(except being off-key or too old to act like a fool Lol) but I'm extremely self conscious.
I respect the OP for being brave enough to offer this but it's just something I could never do myself.
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Blackcat31 05:57 AM 05-11-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I agree BUT can you imagine a dcp watching their child being sleep trained? To me, if a parent hasn't tried that anyways, it would be awfully difficult being at work and watching your child cry. It's a whole lot easier for a provider to tolerate it than a parent. I couldn't have done it as a young parent but have little problem with crying babies if they're somebody else's. That's why I'd never off video monitoring at my dc.
Neither would I but OP does.

Also for what it's worth....none of this would be a huge issue if it were discussed in detail PRIOR to enrollment.

If the family was dishonest....different story, but if they shared their sleeping routines and the manner in which their child slept at home AND discussed with provider how the other daycare did it AND how the family was trying to break the child of those habits (sleeping in swing/car seat) then this entire discussion wouldn't be.

I think 90% of issues providers post were solvable BEFORE they became issues...but that's a while 'nother topic.
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Cat Herder 06:28 AM 05-11-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Dad wants the pnp in the playroom since that is where the camera is and he can monitor the baby during naps too.
This makes perfect sense to me, too. If cameras were part of the services offered, that I signed a contract for, I would expect it.

Supervised nap time is a regulation here, so not at all niche or "special". I'd expect it to be nationwide soon, just like the crib and blanket regs.
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mommyneedsadayoff 06:43 AM 05-11-2016
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
This makes perfect sense to me, too. If cameras were part of the services offered, that I signed a contract for, I would expect it.

Supervised nap time is a regulation here, so not at all niche or "special". I'd expect it to be nationwide soon, just like the crib and blanket regs.
Its a regulation that parents can supervise naptime?

If OP offers cameras, then I don't think dad is asking anything out of the ordinary for what he has been promised by the provider, but I do think, especially if they have never sleep trained, he will have major issues watching you sleep train the kid through a video feed. I would be very wary of that
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Rockgirl 06:47 AM 05-11-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Its a regulation that parents can supervise naptime?

If OP offers cameras, then I don't think dad is asking anything out of the ordinary for what he has been promised by the provider, but I do think, especially if they have never sleep trained, he will have major issues watching you sleep train the kid through a video feed. I would be very wary of that
I may be wrong, but I think she was saying since supervised nap is a regulation, it wouldn't be 'special' to have the pnp in the room with everyone else. It would be the only way to supervise all children.
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Cat Herder 06:50 AM 05-11-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
I may be wrong, but I think she was saying since supervised nap is a regulation, it wouldn't be 'special' to have the pnp in the room with everyone else. It would be the only way to supervise all children.
What she said...

Thanks, Rockgirl
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mommyneedsadayoff 06:52 AM 05-11-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
I may be wrong, but I think she was saying since supervised nap is a regulation, it wouldn't be 'special' to have the pnp in the room with everyone else. It would be the only way to supervise all children.
Oh boy, I need to get some more coffee! My brain is not working yet it seems Thank you for clarifying!
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Ariana 06:55 AM 05-11-2016
I would have zero issue with a parent watching me sleep train and I assume these cameras have no sound? I will gladly show them how to be a good parent by showing their child that they can soothe themselves to sleep . If the parent is not comfortable with me sleep training then that parent is not a right fit for my program period. If the parent is ok with it, I would simply go over what I do so if they want to tune in to see the show they know what I am doing . I will also make sure to tell them that if they tune in they will be sure to see lots of crying which is part of the training as kids hate change in routine.

Confidence is KEY to dealing with these types of parent. There is reason they are not taking the lead with their child, they have no confidence in themselves as parents so you need to be their parent if you know what I mean. Someone needs to take the lead. They will thank you for it in the end.
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Blackcat31 07:38 AM 05-11-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Its a regulation that parents can supervise naptime?

If OP offers cameras, then I don't think dad is asking anything out of the ordinary for what he has been promised by the provider, but I do think, especially if they have never sleep trained, he will have major issues watching you sleep train the kid through a video feed. I would be very wary of that
I read the OP's situation as if the parents DID and DO have their child sleep trained to a PNP in their bedroom.

Its the previous provider that "trained" or allowed him to sleep in the swing and/or car seat.

OP never said but I wonder if that is why the parents switched daycares?
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mommyneedsadayoff 07:49 AM 05-11-2016
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC:
I guess you cant really fit a whole weeks story into a single post, haha!

DCB sleeps in crib at home in parents room. Just fine, they say. Here he does not want to be in the pack N play, I am guessing because his last provider had him since 10 weeks and always used his car seat or swing, so thats what parents said to do here. So, I guess it really isnt sleep training him if thats how he sleeps at home..its just sleep training him for my house, if that makes sense.

As far as terming..I am not bonding w this baby at all. My other 9m old I was in love with since day 1. I also don't feel like the parents and I really mesh (besides DCDs comment). It just doesn't feel right. I dont fill myself to the max with kids but I do have a waiting list for my 4th spot (new DCBs spot) so I feel if it doesnt feel like a good fit, why not term when I have the chance to end it without hard feelings?
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I read the OP's situation as if the parents DID and DO have their child sleep trained to a PNP in their bedroom.

Its the previous provider that "trained" or allowed him to sleep in the swing and/or car seat.

OP never said but I wonder if that is why the parents switched daycares?
Ya I was kind of confused by that too, but it sounds like there will be a little bit of training to get him used to the PNP at her house, but if the parents are being truthful about his sleeping at home, then hopefully it won't be too tough to get him to sleep at her house.

I guess I am just confused because the parents say he sleeps in a crib at their house, a swing/carseat at the old providers house, and the OP said the parents wanted her to continue that, but then got upset seeing him in his carseat I guess it just seems like it would be easier to keep his sleep routine the same as it is at home...in a crib/pnp. The old provider may have made that transition a little harder by using the swing and stuff, but if he is capable of sleeping in a crib at home, he should be able to do it at daycare and I kind of wonder why the parents didn't want that from the get go. Unless I am missing something, which is super possible as my coffee is not nearly strong enough for me this morning
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Blackcat31 08:05 AM 05-11-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Ya I was kind of confused by that too, but it sounds like there will be a little bit of training to get him used to the PNP at her house, but if the parents are being truthful about his sleeping at home, then hopefully it won't be too tough to get him to sleep at her house.

I guess I am just confused because the parents say he sleeps in a crib at their house, a swing/carseat at the old providers house, and the OP said the parents wanted her to continue that, but then got upset seeing him in his carseat I guess it just seems like it would be easier to keep his sleep routine the same as it is at home...in a crib/pnp. The old provider may have made that transition a little harder by using the swing and stuff, but if he is capable of sleeping in a crib at home, he should be able to do it at daycare and I kind of wonder why the parents didn't want that from the get go. Unless I am missing something, which is super possible as my coffee is not nearly strong enough for me this morning
Yeah, the whole thread is confusing.
Too much information that seems to be either mis-interpreted or relayed oddly to readers.


Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC:
After continuing discussing it with DCD, he suggested putting the pack N play in our playroom because DCB isn't used to sleeping in a room alone. I have a fairly small house where the pack N plays/cribs are in a seperate bedroom so that thise sleeping are able to do so peacefully. I am all about the transition and making him comfortable but good lord...it really really rubbed me bad. I'm also PMSing so who knows
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC:
I guess you cant really fit a whole weeks story into a single post, haha!

DCB sleeps in crib at home in parents room. Just fine, they say. Here he does not want to be in the pack N play, I am guessing because his last provider had him since 10 weeks and always used his car seat or swing, so thats what parents said to do here. So, I guess it really isnt sleep training him if thats how he sleeps at home..its just sleep training him for my house, if that makes sense.

As far as terming..I am not bonding w this baby at all. My other 9m old I was in love with since day 1. I also don't feel like the parents and I really mesh (besides DCDs comment). It just doesn't feel right. I dont fill myself to the max with kids but I do have a waiting list for my 4th spot (new DCBs spot) so I feel if it doesnt feel like a good fit, why not term when I have the chance to end it without hard feelings?

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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:50 AM 05-17-2016
Originally Posted by bubblegum:
I am a provider but as a parent I would take the camera access as an invitation to monitor, imo
I have a friend enrolled in a daycare with a camera system. She videos the video system and posts it on Facebook (don't get me started...I already know...) and also takes screenshots.

There is absolutely zero chance I would ever permit parents to have access to a camera. YIKES.

So sorry for so much anxiety being caused by one family.
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