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MarinaVanessa 03:28 PM 09-11-2017
Okay look, I've been a long time member of this forum and even though I haven't been around as much as I should be and definitely not as much as I used to be can I just please take a second to again thank this forum, Michael for starting it and all of the members (and even the anonymous posts that make you go ).

Because for the most part people here behave and have common courtesy. Today I just needed to vent a little bit and I made the mistake of posting in a child care FB group. Of course there is always that one little miss Judger McJudgerson that accused me of being judgmental .... because I wanted to vent. How you can be judgmental while instantaneously accusing someone you know nothing about of being judgmental I will never understand.

And all because of a grimy pacifier tether.

So AGAIN. Thanks so much! I may not respond much but I do read daily. You all have gotten me through some pretty low times in my daycare life

Love you all.
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Baby Beluga 04:14 PM 09-11-2017
I'm sorry you had a rough day. I hope tomorrow is better.

I also echo your thanks for this forum and its members
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Mike 05:21 PM 09-11-2017
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga:
I'm sorry you had a rough day. I hope tomorrow is better.

I also echo your thanks for this forum and its members


I've been on many different forums and this one is definitely the friendliest.
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Michael 05:42 PM 09-11-2017
Thank you. This forum is really the sum of its members. I think we all set a higher standard here. It makes this place that much more exceptional.

Special shout out to the moderators, especially BlackCat.
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daycare 07:06 PM 09-11-2017
I can yell at you if you want. Lol. You know I would never do that.
I second what MV said. I have tried other places, but I just never seem to fit in. Plus my grammerly app doesn't work on some other sites like FB.

Thank you Michael for creating a place where we always feel safe to post without judgement. Today everyone has a huge opinion about everything when they are able to hide behind a screen. I always enjoy everyone's view here, even the occasional troll.

I've learned so much from this site, way more than I ever thought I would and way more than just about childcare.
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Ariana 07:32 PM 09-11-2017
I don't know what I would do without this site! Having the ability to anonymously vent and ask questions is so invaluable when you do not have real colleagues or people who truly "get it"!

I hear ya!
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Blackcat31 06:53 AM 09-12-2017
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Okay look, I've been a long time member of this forum and even though I haven't been around as much as I should be and definitely not as much as I used to be can I just please take a second to again thank this forum, Michael for starting it and all of the members (and even the anonymous posts that make you go ).

Because for the most part people here behave and have common courtesy. Today I just needed to vent a little bit and I made the mistake of posting in a child care FB group. Of course there is always that one little miss Judger McJudgerson that accused me of being judgmental .... because I wanted to vent. How you can be judgmental while instantaneously accusing someone you know nothing about of being judgmental I will never understand.

And all because of a grimy pacifier tether.

So AGAIN. Thanks so much! I may not respond much but I do read daily. You all have gotten me through some pretty low times in my daycare life

Love you all.


Originally Posted by Michael:
Thank you. This forum is really the sum of its members. I think we all set a higher standard here. It makes this place that much more exceptional.

Special shout out to the moderators, especially BlackCat.
Thank YOU for the forum in general and the opportunity to be a moderator for such a lovely group of providers!

I visit alot of places on the internet but I can safely say this is the only one I've visited pretty much every.single.day for the last several years.

If I had a $1 for every time the words "Well on Daycare.com ....." started a sentence or conversation in my life I could have retired by now!
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daycarediva 08:03 AM 09-12-2017


This forum has been a god send for me for years. It has helped me grow as a business owner and provider!
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sharlan 08:08 AM 09-12-2017
I joined several other forums after the recent hoopla. I quickly left several of them. I just didn't care for the attitudes.

We all have enough negativity in our lives. I didn't see the need to go looking for it.
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mommyneedsadayoff 08:18 AM 09-12-2017
I go to Facebook for the drama, and come here for the sanity! It is nice to know that you can come here for advice and support and no one will call you an idiot. Hot topics like political views are discussed and don't end in name calling or death threats! Such a breath of fresh air! Thank you for making this possible!
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Snowmom 08:19 AM 09-12-2017
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Okay look, I've been a long time member of this forum and even though I haven't been around as much as I should be and definitely not as much as I used to be can I just please take a second to again thank this forum, Michael for starting it and all of the members (and even the anonymous posts that make you go ).

Because for the most part people here behave and have common courtesy. Today I just needed to vent a little bit and I made the mistake of posting in a child care FB group. Of course there is always that one little miss Judger McJudgerson that accused me of being judgmental .... because I wanted to vent. How you can be judgmental while instantaneously accusing someone you know nothing about of being judgmental I will never understand.

And all because of a grimy pacifier tether.

So AGAIN. Thanks so much! I may not respond much but I do read daily. You all have gotten me through some pretty low times in my daycare life

Love you all.


There is such a wealth of information and support here, it really is my go-to as well.
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Michael 03:02 PM 09-12-2017
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
I go to Facebook for the drama, and come here for the sanity!
Love that quote!

I have tried to figure out many times how to better the forum. I know there are members that have no idea about the things like our member's groups and I've often tried to figure out if I needed to make the site/forum more current in its look. I know there are a ton of things I could add but I like the simplicity of the content we have here which is vast and well indexed in the search engines.

My 1st responsibility is in keeping the forum free to use and mostly free of disruptions, whether it be people or software/hardware related. That is what, in the past, has kept me from changing everything to something newer.

The forum has been VERY stable and I have a good handle on hackers and spammers trying to get in. (knock on wood) I personally check every new member's IP and know who is trying to get in and delete their account if they come from a hacking prone country.

After 15 years, I will be MOVING the website/database/blogs/forums to a new server in a week. Our server/computer has been used for Daycare.com since 2002! Those of you with computers know that is a crazy long time to house something like this. The hard discs have been spinning all that time.

So, next week will either go smoothly or the floor might just drop out. At least a couple of you have my cell number and if anything critical happens, please let me know. Wish me luck.
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Rockgirl 04:25 PM 09-12-2017
I've been out there in some of the other places. There's no comparison. Actually, I was on Childfun for years....someone on there mentioned this place one day, and I checked it out. Childfun isn't even there anymore, which makes me sad, but seriously, this place is awesome!

I was briefly on a childcare board with just a few active members. One of the members went absolutely ballistic one day, because a few members said in a thread that they didn't charge for their own vacations. This lady used the largest font available, in all caps, to scream at everyone about it. Stuff like that.
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Mike 05:04 PM 09-12-2017
Originally Posted by Michael:
After 15 years, I will be MOVING the website/database/blogs/forums to a new server in a week. Our server/computer has been used for Daycare.com since 2002! Those of you with computers know that is a crazy long time to house something like this. The hard discs have been spinning all that time.

So, next week will either go smoothly or the floor might just drop out. At least a couple of you have my cell number and if anything critical happens, please let me know. Wish me luck.
Whoa. That was the year I started my website hosting business, and I've upgraded servers 4 times.

I better modify my monitoring script so it doesn't consistently send emails when the forum is down. I'll make it so if a notice is sent, it won't send another for 10 minutes.
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nannyde 05:45 PM 09-12-2017
Originally Posted by Michael:
Love that quote!

I have tried to figure out many times how to better the forum. I know there are members that have no idea about the things like our member's groups and I've often tried to figure out if I needed to make the site/forum more current in its look. I know there are a ton of things I could add but I like the simplicity of the content we have here which is vast and well indexed in the search engines.

My 1st responsibility is in keeping the forum firee to use and mostly free of disruptions, whether it be people or software/hardware related. That is what, in the past, has kept me from changing everything to something newer.

The forum has been VERY stable and I have a good handle on hackers and spammers trying to get in. (knock on wood) I personally check every new member's IP and know who is trying to get in and delete their account if they come from a hacking prone country.

After 15 years, I will be MOVING the website/database/blogs/forums to a new server in a week. Our server/computer has been used for Daycare.com since 2002! Those of you with computers know that is a crazy long time to house something like this. The hard discs have been spinning all that time.

So, next week will either go smoothly or the floor might just drop out. At least a couple of you have my cell number and if anything critical happens, please let me know. Wish me luck.
Wow! Now you have me scared!

Please save the archives. They are gold to this site.

I prefer this format. I like that the poster can use their real name or username. That's one of the biggest value of this forum.

This is the best site for daycare and it has the best archives.

Anyone who wants to learn the craft of doing child care for other people's children can go back thru the archives and read forward.

It's better than any daycare book you could buy. It's better than any class you can take. It's also a historical progression of child care, business, and the change in parenting through the years.
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Ariana 05:51 PM 09-12-2017
Oh no Michael I am scared too! Whenever they have done an overhaul on other forums it has always taken a lot of time to get used to but in the grand scheme of things it will be ok. I am sure it is something that needs to be done
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Michael 07:54 PM 09-12-2017
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Wow! Now you have me scared!

Please save the archives. They are gold to this site.
I'll have no problem reviving the forum and blogs. It's the software I had built for the database of facility listings that has me worried. There is a whole secure charging system and autopay that may give me issues.
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Josiegirl 09:27 AM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
I've been out there in some of the other places. There's no comparison. Actually, I was on Childfun for years....someone on there mentioned this place one day, and I checked it out. Childfun isn't even there anymore, which makes me sad, but seriously, this place is awesome!

I was briefly on a childcare board with just a few active members. One of the members went absolutely ballistic one day, because a few members said in a thread that they didn't charge for their own vacations. This lady used the largest font available, in all caps, to scream at everyone about it. Stuff like that.
CF isn't available anymore?? Wow, what happened to Jenny? And everybody else? How long were you on CF and did you use Rockgirl on there too? Sorry, nosy me.

That's my biggest worry about this site...one morning I'll get my coffee, turn my computer on, and try to come on here and poof, it'll be gone. I'd have to quit daycare.
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Rockgirl 09:43 AM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
CF isn't available anymore?? Wow, what happened to Jenny? And everybody else? How long were you on CF and did you use Rockgirl on there too? Sorry, nosy me.

That's my biggest worry about this site...one morning I'll get my coffee, turn my computer on, and try to come on here and poof, it'll be gone. I'd have to quit daycare.
I was diaperqueen! What about you?
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Rockgirl 09:45 AM 09-13-2017
I think Jenny sold the site. I really loved it for years!
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Josiegirl 09:46 AM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
I was diaperqueen! What about you?
If I told you I'd have to kill ya. But I'm pretty sure I remember your name.
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Rockgirl 09:48 AM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
If I told you I'd have to kill ya. But I'm pretty sure I remember your name.
I guess I'd rather live!
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Blackcat31 09:48 AM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
I was diaperqueen! What about you?
I remember that user name!

I spent a lot of time reading there...posting very little. It was an interesting site but too clique-y for me.
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Rockgirl 09:53 AM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I remember that user name!

I spent a lot of time reading there...posting very little. It was an interesting site but too clique-y for me.


I'm happy I found this place!
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MarinaVanessa 09:57 AM 09-13-2017
We are a patient bunch so if things go south we can wait a little bit before withdrawals kick in. Is there a Daycare.com social media group that we can join temporarily if the site is down? I really do love reading everyones posts

And if you need help Michael my DH works in IT and I'm more than happy to voluntell his services
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midaycare 10:02 AM 09-13-2017
You guys literally just helped me get through a huge thing. This site helped me before I opened (I read it well before opening my daycare) and I think that's why I have had so little trouble, minus the last debacle.

I don't always agree with everyone, but I appreciate that we can all say what we think and be respectful about it.

I also go to FB just for the drama. Some days when I need a good laugh, I read the stuff there.
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Michael 11:22 AM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
We are a patient bunch so if things go south we can wait a little bit before withdrawals kick in. Is there a Daycare.com social media group that we can join temporarily if the site is down? I really do love reading everyones posts

And if you need help Michael my DH works in IT and I'm more than happy to voluntell his services
This forum will be the first thing up and running. I've moved over several other forums for my city sites and they all worked from the get go. Thanks for the offer.
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Snowmom 11:47 AM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
CF isn't available anymore?? Wow, what happened to Jenny? And everybody else? How long were you on CF and did you use Rockgirl on there too? Sorry, nosy me.

That's my biggest worry about this site...one morning I'll get my coffee, turn my computer on, and try to come on here and poof, it'll be gone. I'd have to quit daycare.
If my memory is right, I think I had read at some point that she posts on the Babycenter Home Daycare page frequently.
I could be totally wrong though.
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e.j. 12:34 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I remember that user name!

I spent a lot of time reading there...posting very little. It was an interesting site but too clique-y for me.
Good thing you never said as much when you were on that site! Years ago, when I was a member there, providers who mentioned the clique-y-ness mysteriously disappeared from that forum. I always assumed they got tired of the drama and went away on their own until I got "banned for life". (A thread got heated. A friend replied in a professional, reasonable manner but "the clique" didn't like her reply and drama ensued. In a private message, I said I always tried to be careful when I replied to any thread because of that very possibility. The next time I tried to log in, I got a message saying I was "banned for life". My husband and kids thought it was the funniest thing ever! I found Daycare.com and love the low-drama feel and support everyone offers. Best thing Jenny ever could have done for me!
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Rockgirl 12:41 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by e.j.:
Good thing you never said as much when you were on that site! Years ago, when I was a member there, providers who mentioned the clique-y-ness mysteriously disappeared from that forum. I always assumed they got tired of the drama and went away on their own until I got "banned for life". (A thread got heated. A friend replied in a professional, reasonable manner but "the clique" didn't like her reply and drama ensued. In a private message, I said I always tried to be careful when I replied to any thread because of that very possibility. The next time I tried to log in, I got a message saying I was "banned for life". My husband and kids thought it was the funniest thing ever! I found Daycare.com and love the low-drama feel and support everyone offers. Best thing Jenny ever could have done for me!
Banned for life!!

I never knew there were so many CFers on here. The funny thing is that over there, they talked about how mean some of the members were here at daycare.com. LOL!!! I actually came here just to see how 'bad' it was. I stayed!
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Michael 01:00 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
Banned for life!!

I never knew there were so many CFers on here. The funny thing is that over there, they talked about how mean some of the members were here at Daycare.com. LOL!!! I actually came here just to see how 'bad' it was. I stayed!
Mean?!? Maybe, Determined
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Blackcat31 01:07 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by e.j.:
Good thing you never said as much when you were on that site! Years ago, when I was a member there, providers who mentioned the clique-y-ness mysteriously disappeared from that forum. I always assumed they got tired of the drama and went away on their own until I got "banned for life". (A thread got heated. A friend replied in a professional, reasonable manner but "the clique" didn't like her reply and drama ensued. In a private message, I said I always tried to be careful when I replied to any thread because of that very possibility. The next time I tried to log in, I got a message saying I was "banned for life". My husband and kids thought it was the funniest thing ever! I found Daycare.com and love the low-drama feel and support everyone offers. Best thing Jenny ever could have done for me!
I did get banned. The first time around.
Apparently it was frowned upon on that site to be blunt, honest and straight forward when replying/posting.

I used my second account to read only...

I think I participated in a Secret Sister game once and that was fun but other than that...it was nothing more than a clique of providers that thought their way was the ONLY way.....

Thankfully, like others I too stumbled across this site and have felt at home ever since. I've been called a few names now and then but I don't take it personal. The only time it really gets under my skin is when some calls me a bully. Them thar are fightin' words...

Hip Hip Horray for Daycare.com!!
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Michael 01:41 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I did get banned. The first time around.
Apparently it was frowned upon on that site to be blunt, honest and straight forward when replying/posting.

I used my second account to read only...

I think I participated in a Secret Sister game once and that was fun but other than that...it was nothing more than a clique of providers that thought their way was the ONLY way.....

Thankfully, like others I too stumbled across this site and have felt at home ever since. I've been called a few names now and then but I don't take it personal. The only time it really gets under my skin is when some calls me a bully. Them thar are fightin' words...

Hip Hip Horray for Daycare.com!!
There WAS a time around 2011 that there was a group of ladies here that took over the forum. I don't know if anyone here remembers. I know Nannyde was here at the time. I use to check in once a week back then and this group (led by a member named Judy) was making this forum their fortress. I figured what was going on and explained that there were going to be rules to follow. All hell broke loose. One of the girls actually started smearing my reputation and slandering me in some of the threads.

I thought to myself, what nerve? In my own house! That is when I started to perm ban the offenders and clean house. I started coming here every day since and also put in charge those that I felt had good intentions. It has been clean sailing since. But boy, you really have to spend the time every day taking care and watching over it. I guess you get what you put into it.
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e.j. 02:31 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I did get banned. The first time around.
I guess I'm in good company, then! Getting banned from CF - it's like a badge of honor.

Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Apparently it was frowned upon on that site to be blunt, honest and straight forward when replying/posting.
Unless you were part of the clique.

Funny thing is, I never involved myself in any of the controversial threads or drama on CF. I was never any more blunt on that forum than I am here. I tried to be honest but diplomatic and respectful in any reply I made - including my comments in that "private" message to my friend. I did use the word "clique" and if I remember correctly, said something about the immaturity of some members but wasn't trying to be nasty - just sharing an honest perception while trying to support a friend. I wasn't out to cause drama. When I received the "banned for life" message, I had to laugh. I told my husband, "I think Jenny just proved my point!"
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e.j. 02:34 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Michael:
I figured what was going on and explained that there were going to be rules to follow. All hell broke loose. One of the girls actually started smearing my reputation and slandering me in some of the threads.

I thought to myself, what nerve? In my own house! That is when I started to perm ban the offenders and clean house. I started coming here every day since and also put in charge those that I felt had good intentions. It has been clean sailing since. But boy, you really have to spend the time every day taking care and watching over it. I guess you get what you put into it.
That does take nerve! It's sad when you feel like you have to babysit grown adults. I'm grateful, though, that you did put the effort into cleaning up the problem. I've been a provider for 21 years and still learn something new every day from this forum. Thank you!
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Josiegirl 02:57 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by e.j.:
I guess I'm in good company, then! Getting banned from CF - it's like a badge of honor.



Unless you were part of the clique.

Funny thing is, I never involved myself in any of the controversial threads or drama on CF. I was never any more blunt on that forum than I am here. I tried to be honest but diplomatic and respectful in any reply I made - including my comments in that "private" message to my friend. I did use the word "clique" and if I remember correctly, said something about the immaturity of some members but wasn't trying to be nasty - just sharing an honest perception while trying to support a friend. I wasn't out to cause drama. When I received the "banned for life" message, I had to laugh. I told my husband, "I think Jenny just proved my point!"
Consider me a former banned CF member too. I was lucky to find this group soon after. I remember a lot of dog-piling there and yes, cliques. I also joined the secret sister once or maybe even twice, can't remember now, was so long ago. There were some nice people there, but also some very nutty ones.
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Rockgirl 03:04 PM 09-13-2017
I definitely wasn't part of the "inner circle" there!
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nannyde 03:24 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Michael:
There WAS a time around 2011 that there was a group of ladies here that took over the forum. I don't know if anyone here remembers. I know Nannyde was here at the time. I use to check in once a week back then and this group (led by a member named Judy) was making this forum their fortress. I figured what was going on and explained that there were going to be rules to follow. All hell broke loose. One of the girls actually started smearing my reputation and slandering me in some of the threads.

I thought to myself, what nerve? In my own house! That is when I started to perm ban the offenders and clean house. I started coming here every day since and also put in charge those that I felt had good intentions. It has been clean sailing since. But boy, you really have to spend the time every day taking care and watching over it. I guess you get what you put into it.
Oh yes I remember it well.

The accusations against you were absolutely false. I know that for a FACT without equivocation.

I didn't realize CF was out of biz. I quit going there when they became filled with ads. They had, at the time I was reading there, the biggest daycare archives I could find. I read their entire archives before I started posting. I think it took me a couple of years.

I don't read usernames on forums or names on Facebook. I never caught onto the cliques because I only noticed posters if they were brilliant or the posts they wrote were really dumb. Anything in between, I never read the names.

I posted there some but found daycare.com archives and started reading them. I read all the forums backwards and I think this forum had posts back to 2007 or 6 when I started reading them. I didn't post here or any other forum until I read the archives. I think I joined in 10 here but had been reading for a couple of years before I posted.

Ivillage used to have a great forum. When I realized they were going all ads and tossing their archives I went thru and copied every post I wrote. That took months. I think I permanently damaged my retinas trying to get to the posts through their blinkity ads. My eyes were fried but I saved them.

Before ivillage there were other companies who bought out the daycare boards until ivillage was the last reincarnation. I started reading forums that ended up to ivillage in 1998. They were kind of like craigslist but you could post under the thread.

I think every new or prospective provider needs to read the archives. Not Facebook archives because they are too labor intensive. Read from as far back as they go until present day. It truly IS the bible to daycare. Also watch the first couple of seasons of the Dog Whisperer before the show got popular when they let him do his thing.

He will teach you pack leadership and hierarchy. He will teach you how to be calm and assertive with minimal discipline. He will teach you how to recognize stable behavior from the micro signs and how to reward. He will show progression of escalation which is so critical in keeping children safe, parents well behaved, and maintaining a calm environment.

So the archive bibles and Cesar for all newbies.

You can get Cesar on YouTube and the archives here. We owe Michael so much for keeping this piece of daycare history on the net. We owe him a lot.

And as far as banning... whoever it was that got banned from CF... well shame shame shame... I've NEVAH been banned from a site for even a day ... because I'm so gifted in writing politically correct and the most sensitive of responses.


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Michael 04:15 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Oh yes I remember it well.
I think this forum had posts back to 2007 or 6 when I started reading them.

I just looked and I missed our 10 year anniversary! 08-22-2007
That is such a guy thing.....
Happy belated 10 year Anniversary Daycare.com Forum!
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Mike 04:32 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Michael:
I just looked and I missed our 10 year anniversary! 08-22-2007
That is such a guy thing.....
Happy belated 10 year Anniversary Daycare.com Forum!
Happy Birthday to a great forum.
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nannyde 04:50 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by Michael:
I just looked and I missed our 10 year anniversary! 08-22-2007
That is such a guy thing.....
Happy belated 10 year Anniversary Daycare.com Forum!
Hey I was pretty close then.


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momofsix 05:00 PM 09-13-2017
I tend to go in spurts, depending on how busy my days are, but I've always appreciated this forum. I too read through all of the old threads before I joined I don't always post, but I try to quick check in at least a couple of times a week.
Congratulations on 20 years
And thanks for a great place to visit. Even better than "Cheers"!
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MyAngels 08:27 PM 09-13-2017
This is a great forum - old style and all! I don't post much these days, but I like to check in once or twice a week, and it's always nice to see what's going on with everyone. I never even looked for other daycare groups or message boards, this one is plenty enough for me .
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e.j. 09:24 PM 09-13-2017
Originally Posted by nannyde:
And as far as banning... whoever it was that got banned from CF... well shame shame shame... I've NEVAH been banned from a site for even a day ... because I'm so gifted in writing politically correct and the most sensitive of responses.


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