Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Facebook Faux Pas.
mrsp'slilpeeps 10:06 PM 07-02-2013
I have this DC family that have been with me for about 2.5 yrs.

I have gotten up at 5:30 for them to arrive at 6am for free. I open at 7:30am.

I have driven the 2 kids to and from pre school every Tuesday and Thursday for free.

I charge $550.00 per month, per child to be there 2-3 days a week.

She used to pay me $30 per child, per day. They are here usually 2 sometimes 3 days a week. Now she pays $15 for one, B/A and $35 for the other.

She said that they have to budget and save money so they think its fair to only pay a half day for her oldest, cause he is now B/A.

They go on 4 vacations a year, Pay thousands for the boy to play hockey, hundreds on the girl for soccer, dance, swimming.

If the kids don't come in the morning or at all, They take that pay off my next months check.

So long story short, they were supposed to come here early this morning, and never showed up. I texted her and said , so I guess the kids wont be early today?

She's like OMG, I forgot to hit send last night. Sorry. BTW hubby is home with girl today, she is puking. But the son will be over to play soon.

DCD texts me and said I sent DCB over on his bike he should be right there.

It is July 2 and they still haven't paid me.

I ranted over facebook about this, but had her blocked so she couldn't see it. Some how she did. So she lost it. I don't blame her. I know it wasn't professional, but she has never, ever seen anything else I have ever posted. I apologized to her profusely.

Anyway, I told her I was feeling used, undervalued, and unappreciated, Im on the verge of closing down cause I cant live on $300.00 a month or less from them. She apologized and said next time just talk to me. I have, I have even changed my contract in the hopes that they would abide. They haven't.

She thinks coffee and thank yous are enough.

I know I have let them do this to me, but I have had enough. Im broke and frustrated.

So after all this, She still didn't come by to pay me today. Dad said send DCB home on his bike.

Is it true that most of these parents really don't care about how we feel? I just thought that they would have a little more respect than that.
Reply
TheGoodLife 04:10 AM 07-03-2013
of course they don't care, they have been getting away with everything for so long. Late fee? I'd tell them now that you will be imposing it (if its in your contract) starting today unless payment is dropped off today. And do it!
Reply
countrymom 04:22 AM 07-03-2013
I'll be blunt. You did it to yourself, so really you can complain but unless you do something about it, complaining really means nothing. I would send out a new contract and have them sign it. On it
late fees
pay every week
you don't call or show up you need to charge
also you should do contract hours
they want special then charge them for special

I also require now 3 days a week. If you charge 30 dollars a day for 3 days a week and times that by 4 weeks that 360 dollars for one child. If they want to save money then thats their problem and they should stay home then.
Reply
Laurel 04:37 AM 07-03-2013
I'm not sure what B/A means.

When I do part time now I do a 3 day minimum. They pay whether they are here or not.

You are doing a lot of work for free. They should have to pay more for dropping off that early.

No, most really don't care but why should they? I don't care about their personal problems or financial situation. Okay, I have given a break for some and in the end? I got cheated out of $450.

Just tell her that you are sorry for posting it but you realized that you are being underpaid and change their contract. Maybe they could take one less vacation a year? Wow, some people.

I have to gently say that is is your fault for putting up with it but most of us have and have learned the hard way. Me included.

Laurel
Reply
TheGoodLife 04:51 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Laurel:
I'm not sure what B/A means.

When I do part time now I do a 3 day minimum. They pay whether they are here or not.

You are doing a lot of work for free. They should have to pay more for dropping off that early.

No, most really don't care but why should they? I don't care about their personal problems or financial situation. Okay, I have given a break for some and in the end? I got cheated out of $450.

Just tell her that you are sorry for posting it but you realized that you are being underpaid and change their contract. Maybe they could take one less vacation a year? Wow, some people.

I have to gently say that is is your fault for putting up with it but most of us have and have learned the hard way. Me included.

Laurel
B/A = before/after school care for a SA.
Reply
mrsnj 05:15 AM 07-03-2013
Ouch.

Learn from your mistakes and move on. I think we have all been there at some point. Time to buckle up and reign them in or you will be looking for a new job!

No they don't care. They are getting alot for free or discounted cost. They only see it from their view. They don't care about you as long as it continues. It's in their favor
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:42 AM 07-03-2013
Special isn't special when you're receiving it regularly, so no they really do not care.

Time to implement all of your policies and up the days the must attend (or change the fact that they don't pay when they don't attend) so you can pay your BILLS, girl.
Reply
coolconfidentme 05:51 AM 07-03-2013
I think we all have had this happened to us at one time or another. Don't beat yourself up over it, just learn from it.

Act like a dog! Kick some grass over that $H!T & move on!
Reply
Heidi 05:55 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
I think we all have had this happened to us at one time or another. Don't beat yourself up over it, just learn from it.

Act like a dog! Kick some grass over that $H!T & move on!

Reply
Blackcat31 06:21 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by mrsp'slilpeeps:

Is it true that most of these parents really don't care about how we feel? I just thought that they would have a little more respect than that.
It isn't that parents don't care. It's more like they simply do what works for them....and right now negotiating child care arrangements to work in their favor (including fees/rates and policies) ARE working in their favor and YOU are allowing it.

Families look out for them and what's in their best interests. There isn't anything wrong with that at all and we really can't fault anyone for doing that as we do it as well.....

However, like a PP said, this is YOUR business. YOU set the rules, the rates and how those things are going to be enforced and applied to real life.

You can have it all written down on pretty fancy paper and even include a colorful professional looking cover but it all means nothing if YOU don't stand behind your own rules/policies.

Who cares if the family spends money on hockey or simply throws a $5 bill out the window on the way to work every day....that's their business. Just so long as they pay you when you require payment. If they don't then enforce your consequences.

IMHO, when DCB arrives, I would have the invoice printed out and send home back home to give it to DCD. Let them know he can come back when payment has been made.

fwiw~ I'd kind of have an issue with a DCK just riding his bike over....my policies state an ADULT must sign a kid in and out of care each day.

If you plan on staying in this business, you are going to have to learn to put your foot down and be firm. I know a lot of providers are afraid to lose clients over being strict but I'd rather lose clients than have ones who treat me like dirt and don't pay me...

We've all been there....you just learn from it, change things to work for YOU and move on! You CAN do it!!
Reply
jenn 06:53 AM 07-03-2013
No, for the most part, I don't think they care about the provider as an individual or the provider's family or home. They care about the service they are getting. They care about their situation. They care about their convenience.
I always have to remind myself that this is a business relationship. It's easy to get attached to the children and even some of the parents. Sometimes it can feel like a friendship, but I have learned the hard way that you are not here to be their friend. You are providing a service that they need. It is business.
Reply
Starburst 09:23 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by mrsp'slilpeeps:
I ranted over facebook about this, but had her blocked so she couldn't see it. Some how she did. So she lost it. I don't blame her. I know it wasn't professional, but she has never, ever seen anything else I have ever posted. I apologized to her profusely.
Did you block DCD too? Do you have any daycare families on your facebook or block all of them? Is your account set on private? It's possible she could have 2 FB accounts (one under a false name) or that she spies on your page time to time through a friend's (or DCD's) or other daycare family's account. Or if you said the name or made it obvious to who it was a mutual friend of could have told her.
Reply
mrsp'slilpeeps 09:34 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
Did you block DCD too? Do you have any daycare families on your facebook or block all of them? Is your account set on private? It's possible she could have 2 FB accounts (one under a false name) or that she spies on your page time to time through a friend's (or DCD's) or other daycare family's account. Or if you said the name or made it obvious to who it was a mutual friend of could have told her.
Im not FB friends with DCD or any of her friends. My privacy settings are high. Still baffled about that!!
Reply
littlemissmuffet 10:12 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by mrsp'slilpeeps:
Im not FB friends with DCD or any of her friends. My privacy settings are high. Still baffled about that!!
A friend of yours might know DCM without you knowing. I have some friends who are FB friends with DC parents - so I would know if they badmouthed me on FB.
Reply
countrymom 10:54 AM 07-03-2013
you know whats funny is that mom was mad because you talked about how she owed you money. Well if she was on the ball she would have realized that she owed you money and not send her kid over to your house without a check. It just shocks me that when people get caught that they act even more shocked.
Reply
My3cents 11:14 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by mrsp'slilpeeps:
I have this DC family that have been with me for about 2.5 yrs.

I have gotten up at 5:30 for them to arrive at 6am for free. I open at 7:30am.

I have driven the 2 kids to and from pre school every Tuesday and Thursday for free.

I charge $550.00 per month, per child to be there 2-3 days a week.

She used to pay me $30 per child, per day. They are here usually 2 sometimes 3 days a week. Now she pays $15 for one, B/A and $35 for the other.

She said that they have to budget and save money so they think its fair to only pay a half day for her oldest, cause he is now B/A.

They go on 4 vacations a year, Pay thousands for the boy to play hockey, hundreds on the girl for soccer, dance, swimming.

If the kids don't come in the morning or at all, They take that pay off my next months check.

So long story short, they were supposed to come here early this morning, and never showed up. I texted her and said , so I guess the kids wont be early today?

She's like OMG, I forgot to hit send last night. Sorry. BTW hubby is home with girl today, she is puking. But the son will be over to play soon.

DCD texts me and said I sent DCB over on his bike he should be right there.

It is July 2 and they still haven't paid me.

I ranted over facebook about this, but had her blocked so she couldn't see it. Some how she did. So she lost it. I don't blame her. I know it wasn't professional, but she has never, ever seen anything else I have ever posted. I apologized to her profusely.

Anyway, I told her I was feeling used, undervalued, and unappreciated, Im on the verge of closing down cause I cant live on $300.00 a month or less from them. She apologized and said next time just talk to me. I have, I have even changed my contract in the hopes that they would abide. They haven't.

She thinks coffee and thank yous are enough.

I know I have let them do this to me, but I have had enough. Im broke and frustrated.

So after all this, She still didn't come by to pay me today. Dad said send DCB home on his bike.

Is it true that most of these parents really don't care about how we feel? I just thought that they would have a little more respect than that.
No way, you come in and get your child. This is in my policy book- I don't care how old the kid is or if he rode in on his motorcycle, which he better not have because the parent had better bring that kid in and acknowledge me in the morning
Reply
Margarete 12:52 PM 07-03-2013
Someone I know was able to see 'private' facebook information from one of their devices (a bug, that I think has been fixed now), but not their computer. She used it to get pictures of the bio-mom of the kids she adopted, along with some of their infant and sibling pictures, so she could give them to her kids when they are older. I always assume that anything I post is pretty much 'public', but filter it mostly when I know some people would be more interested, or not interested in something I post.
Reply
Blackcat31 01:21 PM 07-03-2013
I truly and fully believe that NOTHING on the internet is 100% private or inaccessible to others....ever.
Reply
AmyKidsCo 02:45 PM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I truly and fully believe that NOTHING on the internet is 100% private or inaccessible to others....ever.
Very true. There are ways to get around pretty much any privacy setting, if you know how. If you don't want it read, don't write it.

Back to the OP, I don't think parents don't care, but when push comes to shove they're going to do what's best for them.

You need to look at the Three Choices of Life:
1. I'm happy. The parent can do whatever they want.
2. I'm not happy. The parent has to do _____________ to make me happy or they're out.
3. I quit. I'm not happy but not willing to make the parent do _____________ to make me happy.

(My favorite choice, "Whine about it but don't do anything else" isn't an option. )

Tom Copeland writes about it in his blog:
http://www.tomcopelandblog.com/2011/...s-of-life.html
Reply
MISSN 06:45 PM 07-03-2013
I used to fear losing clients all the time. The "What if they leave and I don't get paid?", the "What if they badmouth me because I charged them a LF" etc...etc....the list went on.

Then after I got screwed out of over $600 from one woman (LONG story but she lied about something HUGE and I believed her so being someone who wants to save everyone, I gave her a break and told her to pay later).

3 weeks later, she's still going "through" this big thing and said she didn't have the money for her 3 kids. I realized at that point, I HAD to tell her, Sorry, Rue Ann (I don't mind posting her REAL name because she is scamming lots of people all the time!), I can't do it anymore. Come to find out, she had every intention to defraud me along with others.

I did THREE weeks of work for FREE.

That was when I realized I should have NOT made her situation my problem, and simply told her "I'm sorry xxxxx happened to you, but I really cannot keep the kids without payment" I might have even did daily pay in the AM had I thought about it, so at least the days she didn't bring payment, I could refuse the kids. But nope, foolishly, I believed her whole story because it was SO bad how could it NOT be true?!

I would rather do NO work and have time with my family and an opportunity for a break, dr appts, running errands, taking a class, anything than to work for free. No matter HOW ood her kids were, they weren't easy and I deserved to be paid for the time I put in with them.

Also, I will not allow my dck's to ride a bike to daycare. What if something happens? I'd never know til it's too late. Sorry, dad, sign your kid in or find a way to get them here with another signor, but do not expect me to just sit and worry about where your child is.

Last, I would not sweat it too much that she saw the FB post. Tell her that you planned on telling her to her face anyway, but that you are frustrated that people walk all over you and this was the last straw and so you vented. Assuming you didn't name names, she obviously realized SHE is the "bad dcparent" and perhaps was embarrassed. That said, she didn't make it right yet, and that's just proof that you weren't wrong with what you said. Now, I wouldn't post about your dc on FB ever again, only because you never know who is reading and to maintain professionalism, it's just best to keep business out of personal.
Reply
Reply Up