Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How To Deal With Misbehaviour...
childcaremom 10:11 AM 10-27-2013
I have a (just turned) 2 yo dcb who has been with me for 7 weeks. He is, and has been since he started, increasingly aggressive with the other dcks (hitting, pushing) and has become openly defiant over the past few weeks.
I am struggling with how to address this with his mother. I have spoken to her a few times and she has brushed it off as being typical 2 yo behaviour.
A little background: he is the youngest (2 siblings are older teenagers) and I suspect that misbehaviour at home is laughed at. During the interview, the parents were inattentive to his misbehaviours but I (mistakingly) thought that an environment with clear expectations and consistent consequences would work at counteracting that. I think I forgot I don't actually wear a cape
I have worked hard to establish a bond with him and have been consistent with my behavioural expectations. I just feel that I am spending more time disciplining him than anything else.
I am writing an email to the mom to explain to her what is going on and what I methods of discipline I am using. I am asking her what methods they use at home because my methods just aren't effective anymore.
My problem is that I am questioning just how much of his behaviour is my responsibility? Does it remain 'my problem' because it is happening here? Am I expected to just deal with this type of behaviour? Is it fair to expect the parents to work with me on this and how do they support that? Or do I just accept that my program and environment are not a good fit for him?
Thanks for any input!
I am struggling with how to address this with his mother. I have spoken to her a few times and she has brushed it off as being typical 2 yo behaviour.
A little background: he is the youngest (2 siblings are older teenagers) and I suspect that misbehaviour at home is laughed at. During the interview, the parents were inattentive to his misbehaviours but I (mistakingly) thought that an environment with clear expectations and consistent consequences would work at counteracting that. I think I forgot I don't actually wear a cape
I have worked hard to establish a bond with him and have been consistent with my behavioural expectations. I just feel that I am spending more time disciplining him than anything else.
I am writing an email to the mom to explain to her what is going on and what I methods of discipline I am using. I am asking her what methods they use at home because my methods just aren't effective anymore.
My problem is that I am questioning just how much of his behaviour is my responsibility? Does it remain 'my problem' because it is happening here? Am I expected to just deal with this type of behaviour? Is it fair to expect the parents to work with me on this and how do they support that? Or do I just accept that my program and environment are not a good fit for him?
Thanks for any input!
daycare 11:18 AM 10-27-2013
it seems like you are on the right track here by emailing the mother.
I had a child just like this and here is what I had to do to finally get DCP to start taking me serious.
I told DCP that if the behavior got to the point that I could not control the child, that I would call them to come pick up. From the time that I made the call, they had 40 minutes to pick up. After that, it was a fee of $1.00 for each min they were late picking up.
I had no choice but to make the problem THEIRS. When I implemented this new rule, I told the parents that I can not allow for one child to take all of my time and attention away, which was affecting my ability to care for the other children.
If it continues to be a problem, I would just chalk it up to not a good fit.
At the time my DCK was having these issues the DCD basically said, I am not going to keep leaving work to pick up my child again. I responded well, if you are not able to help support my rules and policies of the daycare regarding your child, I do not think we are a good fit for each other. I will be sure to draw up your termination contract.
DCM came to pick up DCK in tears. They begged me to let DCK stay. I gave them one last chance with some strict rules in place. Guess what DCK is still here. This was 3.5 years ago. Parents are always on board now and often will be the first to ask, how are things going here, are we doing a good job? Do we need to improve anywhere???
It's up to you, but this worked for me.....Maybe you can make it work for you too...
I had a child just like this and here is what I had to do to finally get DCP to start taking me serious.
I told DCP that if the behavior got to the point that I could not control the child, that I would call them to come pick up. From the time that I made the call, they had 40 minutes to pick up. After that, it was a fee of $1.00 for each min they were late picking up.
I had no choice but to make the problem THEIRS. When I implemented this new rule, I told the parents that I can not allow for one child to take all of my time and attention away, which was affecting my ability to care for the other children.
If it continues to be a problem, I would just chalk it up to not a good fit.
At the time my DCK was having these issues the DCD basically said, I am not going to keep leaving work to pick up my child again. I responded well, if you are not able to help support my rules and policies of the daycare regarding your child, I do not think we are a good fit for each other. I will be sure to draw up your termination contract.
DCM came to pick up DCK in tears. They begged me to let DCK stay. I gave them one last chance with some strict rules in place. Guess what DCK is still here. This was 3.5 years ago. Parents are always on board now and often will be the first to ask, how are things going here, are we doing a good job? Do we need to improve anywhere???
It's up to you, but this worked for me.....Maybe you can make it work for you too...