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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>MOM FROM HELL-Do I Term?
laceylmm 06:22 PM 02-28-2014
She is my neighbor. My other dcm is her employee. And I am good friends with my neighbor that she is also running her mouth to. Her benefits were cut and her last day is next Friday. I will try to keep it short and simple but over the last 2months she has said the following about me which I hear from other people

1. I don't feed her kids (dcm2 almost pulled because she was telling her I wasn't feeding the kids)
2. My husband and I fight all the time, horribly apparently (my GOOD neighbor told me this)
3. I'm never awake on time (I honestly do sleep in once every two weeks, I jump out of bed the second I hear her knock. She drops off at 6:30am and works at 7am. she could walk to her work in less than two minutes. She has never waited longer than two minutes for me to answer the door.)
4. I never turn on my porch light for her (I've told her it is broken)
5. Complaining that I stopped offering her weekend care...only after finding out she was bitching about me and NEVER confronting me.

In fact ONE of the people who told me that she was mad that I never feed her kids was her own son. I immediately addressed her about it and she denied EVERYTHING. Her poor son looked so confused as she stood there yelling at him for lying.

Now she's telling everyone that I don't even care that she is leaving (along with all the other things I mentioned). Well hell no I don't care because I know you are talking **** about me.

I have been opening for this women an hour earlier than I would like to start working for the past six months. She has left and come back three different times always without notice. And I take her daughter to play practice everyday before school that she has it.

I think it basically comes down to her being a gossip with nothing else better in her life. And being pissed that I didn't offer her an extremely cheap rate when she lost her benefits. After she made several hints that she wouldn't pay more the $200 a month for her part time school ager, and full time preschooler. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! So now she has to take her kids to their dad who has hardly ever helped her, and his non English speaking girlfriend is going to watch them.

Okay, so do I term? Because all I really want to do is tell her to kiss my ass (in a professional way if that is possible). Or do I ride out the last week?? It makes me sick to keep seeing her dropping her kids off then hearing the things she is saying about me.

This woman is extremely spiteful I've heard from another provider that she does this will all of her providers. I expect her to call state if I term.
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Mister Sir Husband 07:36 PM 02-28-2014
wow... I am not thinking if you should term or not, but more along the lines of why haven't you termed earlier...
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laceylmm 07:39 PM 02-28-2014
I know...

I think the past 30 days everything is just all of a sudden snow balling! I've never liked her much as person and knew she could be shady. But now its out of control. :/
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laceylmm 07:43 PM 02-28-2014
And probably just because I know she is spiteful. If she calls state I would probably have some horrible confrontation with her. Not because anything she says is warranted but I wouldn't be able to let it go. Our daughters are friends...and yes I have learned to never take another neighbor family.
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crazydaycarelady 07:55 PM 02-28-2014
If there is only one week left I would just ride it out and then do a happy dance next Friday when they leave FOR GOOD! And don't take them back again!
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laceylmm 08:20 PM 02-28-2014
I think I'm just going to suck it up for the week...

And then when she asks to come back two months from now give her a big 'hell no!'
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EntropyControlSpecialist 08:25 PM 02-28-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
If there is only one week left I would just ride it out and then do a happy dance next Friday when they leave FOR GOOD! And don't take them back again!
YES!
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kitykids3 09:18 AM 03-01-2014
Yeah, rather than give her more reason to talk about u, suck it up for the week, say good riddance and don't ever let back.
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Blackcat31 09:46 AM 03-01-2014
I'm sorry but even just to save face, there is NO WAY in HE77 I would consider just sucking it up and dealing with this parent.

NO FLIPPING WAY!!!

I don't care if she calls Washington DC and the Federal Department of Families and Children. I would term her ON THE SPOT, face to face!!

I would document everything and turn it in to my licensor. I would let my licensor know I am terminating a woman who is a gossip and a drama mama and I am not going to provide services to someone who makes being professional impossible. I would also explain that I fully expect her to retaliate and call licensing on you.

I would make sure you have all your ducks in a row and expect a visit from them. If you are following all the rules, who cares if they come.

I would then term that mom IMMEDIATLEY and make sure she knows exactly why she is being termed.

I suck up a lot of things from time to time for the sale of professionalism but the behavior of this mom is atrocious and not something I would or would simply allow....even for week. Not even for a day.

Stand up for yourself, your business and stop this crazy woman from having anything more to do with you.
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TheGoodLife 10:34 AM 03-01-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'm sorry but even just to save face, there is NO WAY in HE77 I would consider just sucking it up and dealing with this parent.

NO FLIPPING WAY!!!

I don't care if she calls Washington DC and the Federal Department of Families and Children. I would term her ON THE SPOT, face to face!!

I would document everything and turn it in to my licensor. I would let my licensor know I am terminating a woman who is a gossip and a drama mama and I am not going to provide services to someone who makes being professional impossible. I would also explain that I fully expect her to retaliate and call licensing on you.

I would make sure you have all your ducks in a row and expect a visit from them. If you are following all the rules, who cares if they come.

I would then term that mom IMMEDIATLEY and make sure she knows exactly why she is being termed.

I suck up a lot of things from time to time for the sale of professionalism but the behavior of this mom is atrocious and not something I would or would simply allow....even for week. Not even for a day.

Stand up for yourself, your business and stop this crazy woman from having anything more to do with you.
Yes, this! I'm very lucky to not have encountered any DCPs like this yet, but I could NOT grin and bear it- you should not have to. She's already lying and trashing your name- I would not put up with it and let her get away with it. Contact her and let her know that due to disrespect you are terminating the contract effective immediately!
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TheGoodLife 10:43 AM 03-01-2014
Originally Posted by kitykids3:
Yeah, rather than give her more reason to talk about u, suck it up for the week, say good riddance and don't ever let back.
She doesn't need reason, she's already talking about you. I say take pride in your self and your backbone, and TERM!
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BabyLuver21 11:32 AM 03-01-2014
Term TODAY!
I would NOT let her come back> She's trash-talking ALREADY so that's not going to stop just because you finished out the week.

Call her and tell her that after you have heard more things about you from others, this is grounds for dismissal from your program without ANY refund. I would not put up with that abuse ONE DAY LONGER.

If you want, you can even write her a letter and mail it to her to follow-up the call. Drop it in nearest box TODAY. Tell her you are sending the official term letter, but you do not wish her to drop by or see you again. I would then call your licensor immediately and alert them to what you've done, why and that you are worried about further retaliation from this crazy mom
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laceylmm 11:35 AM 03-01-2014
Can I call them on the weekend? Or wait until Monday?
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KidGrind 11:55 AM 03-01-2014
I think you should do what you are most comfortable with. However, if you term immediately I’d provide a refund for any unused care.
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laceylmm 12:01 PM 03-01-2014
She is state and does not pay ahead.
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Crazy8 12:02 PM 03-01-2014
I wouldn't term immediately at this point. They are leaving at the end of this week anyway.

Honestly, I get why everyone is saying you should term immediately but while many of the things you listed are what I would term for the fact is you didn't term when you found out about them or when they happened. At this point I would just be cordial for the week UNLESS she comes in complaining, etc. then I would term on the spot. But it just sounds petty to me to be terming now (esp on a weekend) when these things happened in the past and they are leaving this week.
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laceylmm 12:06 PM 03-01-2014
She hasn't said all these in the past. The latest thing I've heard she has said was yesterday. She has nothing better to do so keeps repeating the same things to whomever will listen.
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laceylmm 12:09 PM 03-01-2014
It started two months ago when her son told me his mom get mad I don't feed them enough. I confronted her immediately and she lied saying she never said that.

Then my friend neighbor told me what she said.

And her employee has also told me what she is saying. I couldn't confront her about those things because she would more than likely fire my other mom.
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lovemykidstoo 12:12 PM 03-01-2014
I would term, no question about it. She has way too much power and I would nip it now. She's like a child. Why is she misbehaving? Because she can and is getting away with it without consequence. Give her the consequence of terming. Show her that she can't be a bully any longer. Give your licensing consultant a call on Monday and give her a heads up. She can always talk to your good neighbor for confirmation, but I'm sure your consultant has seen this type of thing before. Good luck!
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Babyluver21 09:06 PM 03-01-2014
You can term any time. Doesn't matter the day. Giving her the weekend gives her a couple days to interview. I would NOT put up with the BS she's putting you through. Just because it's not in your contract or you didn't 'warn' her before does not mean it's ok for her to act the way she has been and you can't do anything about it.

If this were me, I'd've called her today and gotten rid of her ESPECIALLY since she was talking about you as late as Friday! She clearly has no respect for you, and she KNOWS it. She doesn't care and she will expect you to complete her last week and kiss her butt. NO WAY.
"
I would tell her EXACTLY why you are terming too:

Something to the effect of:

After an incident that occurred on Friday, I am not able to continue watching (DCK). It is not working out. The badmouthing me is unacceptable, especially when I have gone above and beyond for your family even when it was not convenient for me. Because you feel I am not an adequate provider, though I have done nothing but provide excellent care for you and your family, it's obvious to me that you don't think you should be bringing your child back to me and for this reason, you won't be. We have to fully trust each other and be on the same page for this to be successful, and we are not and never have been. I wish you the best with finding new care, as I will not be keeping (the kid) this week. (You can decide here if you would refund, but I wouldn't based on the REASON you're terming). I would also add: "Additionally, even though I have taken you back time after time when you were in need, I will be unable to allow you to return to the daycare in the future."

And that will let her know why, let your licensor know what you said, and go from there. You don't deserve to be treated like trash and no one's life is more important than your (or anyone else's) and this sense of entitlement that this DCM has shouldn't make YOU feel like you are obligated to her.
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Blackcat31 07:05 AM 03-02-2014
Originally Posted by Babyluver21:
You can term any time. Doesn't matter the day. Giving her the weekend gives her a couple days to interview. I would NOT put up with the BS she's putting you through. Just because it's not in your contract or you didn't 'warn' her before does not mean it's ok for her to act the way she has been and you can't do anything about it.

If this were me, I'd've called her today and gotten rid of her ESPECIALLY since she was talking about you as late as Friday! She clearly has no respect for you, and she KNOWS it. She doesn't care and she will expect you to complete her last week and kiss her butt. NO WAY.
"
I would tell her EXACTLY why you are terming too:

Something to the effect of:

After an incident that occurred on Friday, I am not able to continue watching (DCK). It is not working out. The badmouthing me is unacceptable, especially when I have gone above and beyond for your family even when it was not convenient for me. Because you feel I am not an adequate provider, though I have done nothing but provide excellent care for you and your family, it's obvious to me that you don't think you should be bringing your child back to me and for this reason, you won't be. We have to fully trust each other and be on the same page for this to be successful, and we are not and never have been. I wish you the best with finding new care, as I will not be keeping (the kid) this week. (You can decide here if you would refund, but I wouldn't based on the REASON you're terming). I would also add: "Additionally, even though I have taken you back time after time when you were in need, I will be unable to allow you to return to the daycare in the future."

And that will let her know why, let your licensor know what you said, and go from there. You don't deserve to be treated like trash and no one's life is more important than your (or anyone else's) and this sense of entitlement that this DCM has shouldn't make YOU feel like you are obligated to her.


I would also add that you have documented ALL of this and let your licensor know about it.

That way she know you are the one being proactive and letting your licensor know BEFORE she decides to call and report you for something.
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TheGoodLife 07:51 AM 03-02-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:


I would also add that you have documented ALL of this and let your licensor know about it.

That way she know you are the one being proactive and letting your licensor know BEFORE she decides to call and report you for something.

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renodeb 03:35 PM 03-02-2014
I would Run! She is a trouble maker for sure. But to be honest I would fell weird about not being up and ready for business in the morning. JMO!
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Cat Herder 07:03 AM 03-03-2014
Originally Posted by laceylmm:
She is my neighbor.
I did not have to read any further for my answer to pop in my head....

Bye, bye.. (notice is already given, it seems)

Give your inspector a heads up, be ready for a visit.

Get it in the past so you can look forward to a nice summer.
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KIDZRMYBIZ 07:53 AM 03-03-2014
Since she is a neighbor, and if our kids played together and were friends, I would suck it up and ride the week out. I just wouldn't want to make things worse for my daughter.

Terming with no notice would just be fuel for the fire, and give her at least one substantiated piece of evidence of bad business (although it is warranted, it still looks ugly). All the other stuff is her witchy, gossipy nonsense that everyone else sees right through, I'm sure.

Just think how GOOD Friday is going to feel. It will be that much sweeter on the high road!
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TaylorTots 12:05 PM 03-03-2014
I would term effectively immediately. She's already talking trash and its causing you stress. She will keep talking trash whether you term immediately or you wait till the end of the week. I would mail her the term letter after a phone call informing her of such. It's not a tough call at all, esp. since she is on state pay so there's no refund to decide about.

You do not deserve this abuse.
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TheGoodLife 05:17 PM 03-03-2014
What did you end up doing?
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coolconfidentme 04:41 AM 03-04-2014
Originally Posted by laceylmm:
I think I'm just going to suck it up for the week...

And then when she asks to come back two months from now give her a big 'hell no!'
In the meantime send a quick email to your state consultant to CYA if she does hate on you.
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laceylmm 03:56 PM 03-14-2014
Mom is gone. But now she is telling my neighbor that I'm giving her daughter dirty looks! This woman is insane. I'd like to confront her but feel like she will make me too angry.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 04:03 PM 03-14-2014
Originally Posted by laceylmm:
Mom is gone. But now she is telling my neighbor that I'm giving her daughter dirty looks! This woman is insane. I'd like to confront her but feel like she will make me too angry.
Be overly friendly every time you see her precious snowflake. "GOOD AFTERNOON, Brittany!!!! I hope you had a GREAT day, precious! Have a nice afternoon with mommy!! "

If I can make them REALLY eat their words then i do.
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Blackcat31 05:05 PM 03-14-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Be overly friendly every time you see her precious snowflake. "GOOD AFTERNOON, Brittany!!!! I hope you had a GREAT day, precious! Have a nice afternoon with mommy!! "

If I can make them REALLY eat their words then i do.


That's the route I usually goes too....kill them with kindness.

It feels good no matter what.
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FCCarmyprovider 09:34 AM 03-15-2014
Originally Posted by laceylmm:
Mom is gone. But now she is telling my neighbor that I'm giving her daughter dirty looks! This woman is insane. I'd like to confront her but feel like she will make me too angry.
Id kill her with kindness. Be glad its done with and you wont have to deal with psycho mom again. Unfortunately shes not the only one out there so just beware of who you pick to replace.
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daycaremum 09:15 AM 03-16-2014
I'd be cautious since everything you've heard is actually heresy, information given to you by a third party. Be the better person and be kind and polite. If she is really saying these things, people who really know you won't believe her anyway.
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NightOwl 10:48 AM 04-05-2014
Updates?
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Tags:dcm, family - looney, mommy dearest, neighbor issue, neighbors, parent from hell, terminate, working with friends
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