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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Help Please - Normal 3y Old Boy Behavior Or Could He Be Special Needs?
WImom 11:05 AM 06-09-2011
I have a set of twins (boy/girl) that turned 3y in May and started almost 3 weeks ago. This is what I've observed with the boy and I'm trying to figure out if this is normal? I have girls myself and most of my DCK's have always been girls or younger boys.

-He seems kind of glassy eyed (hard to explain)
-He drools (teething maybe?)
-His speech is delayed - I can only understand a few words
-He thows lots of mini tantrums (maybe because speech is delayed)
-He wanders around alot - doesn't play with things more than a few minutes at a time except blocks (If my 8 year old is playing because he likes that she builds them high and knocks them down)
-When he does the wandering he tends to steal toys from others and run around to the room to get them to chase him
-sucks on fingers
-Trouble sitting still at circle time even for 3-4 minutes
-when it gets a little loud in the room during free play he will sometimes walk around with his hands over his ears

They had just gone to the doctor for 3 year check up right before they started here so I'm not sure if I should mention anything or not? Maybe this is normal?
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daycare 11:36 AM 06-09-2011
Originally Posted by WImom:
I have a set of twins (boy/girl) that turned 3y in May and started almost 3 weeks ago. This is what I've observed with the boy and I'm trying to figure out if this is normal? I have girls myself and most of my DCK's have always been girls or younger boys.

-He seems kind of glassy eyed (hard to explain)
-He drools (teething maybe?)
-His speech is delayed - I can only understand a few words
-He thows lots of mini tantrums (maybe because speech is delayed)
-He wanders around alot - doesn't play with things more than a few minutes at a time except blocks (If my 8 year old is playing because he likes that she builds them high and knocks them down)
-When he does the wandering he tends to steal toys from others and run around to the room to get them to chase him
-sucks on fingers
-Trouble sitting still at circle time even for 3-4 minutes
-when it gets a little loud in the room during free play he will sometimes walk around with his hands over his ears

They had just gone to the doctor for 3 year check up right before they started here so I'm not sure if I should mention anything or not? Maybe this is normal?
every child is different.
I have had kids who came to me never being in DC before. when it got loud or a little crazy, the kid would freak out and shut down. Often put his hands over his eyes or ears or try to hide his face in his knees.

My nephew is also like this too. SOme kids just cant handle being over stimulated or take time to adjust.

as for the other things, it sounds like typical 3 year old behavior.
Glassy eyes? does he have allergies?
trouble sitting still? I have mostly 3-4 year olds and NONE of them can sit still
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WImom 11:45 AM 06-09-2011
Thanks, I've had kids with speech delay or can't sit still, throw tantrums, as well as at a different level than others just not all at the same time and the same kid so I just wanted to make sure there wasn't something I should bring up with mom.

I guess the glassy eyes is hard to explain, sort of a 'stare'.
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daycare 11:53 AM 06-09-2011
lol poor kid.....
I have a little guy who is three that does the stare glassy eye thing, I think he does it all the time because he is so tired. He stares off into outter space all the time. I have to tell him to do things 4 or 5 times.....
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Ariana 12:36 PM 06-09-2011
Like others have said it could be his personality and maybe he hasn't opened up yet. I had a 2 year old boy start a few months ago and he had NO language (grunted everything), didn't play, didn't have good balance or gross motor skills. He just wandered around and watched the other kids. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and waited it out for 6 weeks (my trial period). It never got better unfortunately. I tried suggesting that the mom take him to a speech therapy clinic for a free assessment as I was very concerned about his speech but she wanted no part of it. In the end I had to get rid of him and his brother. I wouldn't have minded if the mom was interested in getting him help but I knew the situation wasn't going to get better on it's own.

Here in Canada we usually suggest the parents take their kids to a speech therapist because they can recommend further testing (if they suspect an underlying issue like a developmental delay or autism etc). I would try to lead with that and don't bring up his bizarre behavior at all as the mom might get defensive about it. Then let the therapists deal with it. I'm not sure what resourced you have in the USA though.
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Meyou 08:08 AM 06-10-2011
Most of those things can be connected to delayed speech for me. I have a 4 year old DCB who was almost totally non-verbal until he was 3. His parents and I were starting to be quite concerned with him since he displayed alot of the behaviors you listed. But he started to talk one day last June and most of them dispeared overnight. he was frustrated and essentially trapped inside his own head with no way to express himself.
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Hunni Bee 05:06 PM 06-10-2011
Originally Posted by WImom:
I have a set of twins (boy/girl) that turned 3y in May and started almost 3 weeks ago. This is what I've observed with the boy and I'm trying to figure out if this is normal? I have girls myself and most of my DCK's have always been girls or younger boys.

-He seems kind of glassy eyed (hard to explain)
-He drools (teething maybe?)
-His speech is delayed - I can only understand a few words
-He thows lots of mini tantrums (maybe because speech is delayed)
-He wanders around alot - doesn't play with things more than a few minutes at a time except blocks (If my 8 year old is playing because he likes that she builds them high and knocks them down)
-When he does the wandering he tends to steal toys from others and run around to the room to get them to chase him
-sucks on fingers
-Trouble sitting still at circle time even for 3-4 minutes
-when it gets a little loud in the room during free play he will sometimes walk around with his hands over his ears

They had just gone to the doctor for 3 year check up right before they started here so I'm not sure if I should mention anything or not? Maybe this is normal?
I have a 3.5 year old boy who exhibits a lot of those same behaviors (speech is garbled, mini-tantrums all day, has a hard time playing, doesn't like to see other kids playing, can't focus or listen). I really think he has a speech delay.

He has a hard time following two-part directions or solving problems, such as unhooking clothing caught on a doorknob, etc. He's bad with personal space. He also uses screeching and squeaking noises to express surprise, frustration, happiness, etc...never uses words.

Does your guy do any of this?
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WImom 05:54 PM 06-10-2011
Hunni Bee - yes to all of it.

Another big thing is his mom just started potty training him and he is doing good with #1 but #2 is always in his pull up (3-4x a day, he goes a little at a time which drives me nuts). When Im changing him he will just say over and over 'mom and dad I go poopy". It's like he's not understanding he's going in the wrong place because I'll say we have to go in the potty, not in the pullup and he will just repeat what I put above like he's not hearing me or something. He was the one I posted about that on his first few days would say he had to go potty 50 times a day but didn't have to go. He has stopped that now (Thank goodness) but has also stopped going #2 on the potty. Hopefully this will be short lived as well.

I'm going to give it a few more weeks but he is really wearing me out with 7 other kids and all my other kids have been acting up lately as well since he started. He runs around alot which they now think is funny and copy, as well as some of the other things he's been doing. I feel like all I do is talk all day.
My own kids are home from school now and can help me a little so we shall see.
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Hunni Bee 09:39 PM 06-10-2011
Originally Posted by WImom:
Hunni Bee - yes to all of it.

Another big thing is his mom just started potty training him and he is doing good with #1 but #2 is always in his pull up (3-4x a day, he goes a little at a time which drives me nuts). When Im changing him he will just say over and over 'mom and dad I go poopy". It's like he's not understanding he's going in the wrong place because I'll say we have to go in the potty, not in the pullup and he will just repeat what I put above like he's not hearing me or something. He was the one I posted about that on his first few days would say he had to go potty 50 times a day but didn't have to go. He has stopped that now (Thank goodness) but has also stopped going #2 on the potty. Hopefully this will be short lived as well.

I'm going to give it a few more weeks but he is really wearing me out with 7 other kids and all my other kids have been acting up lately as well since he started. He runs around alot which they now think is funny and copy, as well as some of the other things he's been doing. I feel like all I do is talk all day.
My own kids are home from school now and can help me a little so we shall see.
I would ask his mom to have him evaluated. The repeating thing is a red flag...he's not really receiving or putting out language in a meaningful way. Sounds like he's just regurgitating words but he doesn't really process what they mean, even though he might say them at the right time or situation. He may have a speech delay or a processing issue.

My guy uses words to indicate his wants/needs and identify stuff...but its still on a one-year-old level. No sentences. Just stuff like "want milk" and "look, horse" and "i go home". A lot of stuff he says is just repeats of what someone else says. And if I say "Push in your chair and come lay down on your mat"...one of the instructions gets lost, no matter how many times I say it.

He does a lot of toy-taking and fit-having too because he can't really communicate with his friends. He realizes he doesn't talk like everyone else and doesn't always understand what they're saying. I have been procrastinating in telling his mom he needs speech therapy because I know she won't agree...
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e.j. 11:55 AM 06-11-2011
Originally Posted by WImom:
I have a set of twins (boy/girl) that turned 3y in May and started almost 3 weeks ago. This is what I've observed with the boy and I'm trying to figure out if this is normal? I have girls myself and most of my DCK's have always been girls or younger boys.

-He seems kind of glassy eyed (hard to explain)
-He drools (teething maybe?)
-His speech is delayed - I can only understand a few words
-He thows lots of mini tantrums (maybe because speech is delayed)
-He wanders around alot - doesn't play with things more than a few minutes at a time except blocks (If my 8 year old is playing because he likes that she builds them high and knocks them down)
-When he does the wandering he tends to steal toys from others and run around to the room to get them to chase him
-sucks on fingers
-Trouble sitting still at circle time even for 3-4 minutes
-when it gets a little loud in the room during free play he will sometimes walk around with his hands over his ears

They had just gone to the doctor for 3 year check up right before they started here so I'm not sure if I should mention anything or not? Maybe this is normal?
If he were just showing one or two of these behaviors, I don't think I'd worry but given all of the above, together, I think I'd suggest the parent have the boy evaluated. Is it possible the glassy eye thing could be petit mal seizures? Some of the other behavior could indicate social skills and sensory integration issues.
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Tags:learning disability, slow child, special needs
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