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awestbrook713 07:30 AM 08-17-2011
I have a 3 yr old in my care who is disruptive. She refuses to talk through a problem, whines and some times kicks and screams when told no. She doesn't listen most of the time and my biggest problem with her is she use to be potty trained (per parents) but she had gone to a daycare center and reverted back to going in her pants and her parents have recently seperated adding to the problem. I am trying to be very patient but I have tried everything from asking her frequently, to taking her to the bathroom every so often and also trying to give her the control over bathroom time. I have to stop learning time, reading time, outside time and change her or take her to the bathroom because she refuses to work with me. She will sit on my living room floor in her messy pants until someone tells me she has gone or I see she has gone. I have a 6 month old who is learning to crawl and spends a lot of time on the floor and I hate putting him down because of this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Zoe 08:58 AM 08-17-2011
Is she in underwear? If she isn't potty trained or has regressed in the training, I'd say to put her in a diaper or pull-up until she can control herself. Yes, this may be giving her what she wants, but it will mean less stress and cleaning for you!
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familyschoolcare 09:48 AM 08-17-2011
so new day care armaments and parents separating, sound like choosing to not use the toilet is the only things this child feels like they have control over.
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laundrymom 09:58 AM 08-17-2011
I would put a diaper over her undies until she decides to use the potty again. There would be no option, I would take her when the others go, before activities, outside time, meals. Undies, then diapers over it. Since she is trained and only is going in pants as a control issue, potty her, dress her, go on with your activity. Change her after your activity. It wont hurt her to sit in a mess the small amount of time you are reading, eating, playing outside Until she decides messing her pants is giving her nothing but icky butt, she would be in a dipe.

Stop letting her control your day.
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Sugar Magnolia 10:32 AM 08-17-2011
Honestly, pull ups until she has no accidents for two weeks. I had a mom once insist her daughter wear underwear, although she never ever pooped in the potty. She peed regularly in the potty, but poop always in her pants. Of course mom also insisted she wears a dress so the pottying would be "easier". After two times of cleaning up piles of poop on the floor, I had to term, because mom said absolutely no pull-ups. I said absolutely no poop on the floor. You know, I will work with kids who are earnestly trying to use the potty. The young 2's and 3's. I will not coddle a 4-5 year old who willfully poops in their pants as a control device. On the flip side, I will never ever EVER let one of the "elimination communication" types try to tell me their 15 month old can use the potty. Anyone remember my "pee in the sink" lady? She is quitting, likely because I won't let her kid pee in my sink. Yuck! Diapers or potty. Period.
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cheerfuldom 10:34 AM 08-17-2011
put her back in diapers. Either she has regressed completely or was never even potty trained in the first place, either way just put her back in diapers or pullups and don't be at the mercy of her and this issue.
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awestbrook713 01:36 PM 08-17-2011
I did make the parents send pull ups with her after a day of 5 accidents. I have tried taking her to the bathroom every hour or two but as soon as you tell her to come with you she shuts down she either doesn't speak to me or crys that she doesn't have to go. I then have to carry a limp child into the bathroom because she has lost control of her body, then when I put her on the potty and she is whining/crying guess what she goes, so frustrating. I was really proud of her today NO messes and I am in the middle of telling dad this when he picks her up and says what did I just put my arm in? OK, so none up to 5 minutes before he picked her up. I want to help this child since I seem to be the only real stable thing in her life at the moment but there comes a point where that friendly you can do it, be a big girl, becomes WHY? I just asked you 5 minutes ago and you said you didn't have to go. I feel like I am giving up on her if I keep her in the pull up and she doesn't seem to care if shes sitting in her on mess, as far as pooping her pants shes done that to a few times and won't tell you. She is supposed to be starting headstart in 3 weeks and I just don't know what they are going to do but maybe they will have better luck.
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Tags:3 year old, bathroom - issues, bathroom problems, disruptive
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