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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Discouraged and Disgusted
Unregistered 10:16 AM 11-14-2013
Yesterday I posted asking for help with the overprotective brother in dc. Well here is today's craziness! This would be their third day. They don't show up. Mom calls and says both kids are upset and crying and won't come. She says the dcb told her that I let a man come into the classroom and hold dcg, hinting that she was held against her will ON HIS LAP!!!! WTH! I said of course that is not true. I rent the lower level of a church and I rarely have anyone in my center except parents. And I just opened so only have one other set of parents. I have a degree in ece and child dev and a good community reputation. I need to keep that reputation. I told her that her son was lying to her. That I would not want to care for them because as soon as I say something he doesn't like, he will make up a lie and at some point they will believe him!!! I told her that ANY four year old who can make up a lie that sophisticated needs some counseling. I am SO mad I could spit!!! And in the middle of this conversation, Mom says that when she disciplines dcg in any way, the dcb starts crying not to hurt his sister. OMG! Gooooooodbyyyyyye!!!! Thank you for letting me vent!
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Blackcat31 10:24 AM 11-14-2013
Yes, you need to just term. Immediately.

This family is not a good fit for your program.

Let them go now before this escalates into something bigger and worse.
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TwinKristi 10:27 AM 11-14-2013
Holy wow!! That's so not okay! Why would DCB say that?? Was anyone there at all? Even if they didn't hold her?
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Cat Herder 10:58 AM 11-14-2013
Did they do mall Santa photos recently??? Sounds like my memories of it, could be his too.

Sorry it took a bad turn for you.
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Unregistered 11:04 AM 11-14-2013
I'd write a letter:

Dear family,

After our conversation yesterday regarding your son's propensity to lie about things, I am unable to keep him any longer. I just cannot take on this sort of liability in my program. I hope you understand and I wish you the best.

Thank You,
You
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Unregistered 11:08 AM 11-14-2013
No one has been here at all EVER who looked like his description. And the only person here on a regular basis is the other little dcb's parents and Dad. He didn't just potentially hurt me but he said it was my other dcb's grandpap!! Who I have no idea if someone like that exists!! The longer I think about it, the madder I am! He has only been here two days! And because his sister was so upset, I bent over backwards for both of them. The little sis wouldn't even allow me to touch her. The brother held her almost the entire time. I split them up for a while and she was happier but he was really mad at me for doing that and said he would make sure their dad didn't bring them back today. Well, he sure did! I am a professional. I wouldn't think of Ok are you ready for this. U may want to sit down! The kid who has the little sister refused to come today so they didnt show. His reason? Told parents this morning that I allowed a man to come into the room and hold his sister on his lap and wldnt let her go. Said it was an old man with a white mustach who was Bryces Grandpap. Are u ****in kidding me???? I told her come Monday get your stuff. Told her any four yr old who can make up a lie that sophisticated needs counseling. I dont want him. Someday she wld believe what he says. allowing someone else to hold a child in my care. I don't have anyone working for me yet. I feel like I should call his parents again to make it clear that we are done!
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Cat Herder 11:13 AM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Told parents this morning that I allowed a man to come into the room and hold his sister on his lap and wldnt let her go. Said it was an old man with a white mustach. Are u ****in kidding me???? !
I am sticking to my theory.
Attached: santa.jpg (12.0 KB) 
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Unregistered 11:20 AM 11-14-2013
Srry my prior response got mixed w a text I was sending my daughter about this. If I ever actually register on this site you guys will already think I'm nuts. It helps to just vent about this stuff. Him lying is the thing all dcp fear most!!! But I like what the letter suggestion says. It puts the blame right back on Parents and son, which is where the problem is. Thank you!!
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melilley 11:21 AM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I am sticking to my theory.
White mustache....it fits!
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melilley 11:24 AM 11-14-2013
Wow! I can't believe he even said it was someone else's grandpap! The letter is a great idea. I wouldn't feel comfortable taking a child who could make up lies like that either! And for him to actually say he didn't like something so he would make sure they didn't come back....TROUBLE!
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melilley 11:25 AM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I am sticking to my theory.
I was going to ask if that was really you in the pic...and then I saw the date...lol
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Cat Herder 11:33 AM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by melilley:
I was going to ask if that was really you in the pic...and then I saw the date...lol
No, the santa in the google image pic is a sweet looking santa. Mine looked like something straight out of Monty Python...
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sharlan 11:35 AM 11-14-2013
I would term immediately.

Dear Parent,
As of today, 11/14/2013 I will be unable to provide daycare services.
Sincerely,
Your Provider

I would not put anything in writing about the child's lying.
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Unregistered 11:36 AM 11-14-2013
A few red flags here. First, calmly tell mom they have been at your home only a few days, he could be mixing up something that happened elsewhere and thinking it happened with you. It is common, considering how protective he is of little sis, I would gather something recently frightened him or her, a nd he is still afraid. Also, young children do make up stories/ get facts confused, it really doesn't fall under the " lying" term. If you actually told mom her son was a little a r, I think you should read some more about children's growth and development. Yes, you are upset, but you work with young children and these things happen. Assuring mom and helping her address these problems would have been a better approach. How can you be upset with a young child and blame them ? It seems like you should reexamine what the problem is that is upsetting you. I am not trying to offend you, I am concerned about how you are wording your post.
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Unregistered 11:53 AM 11-14-2013
I am sorry but any almost 5 yr old child who says " I'll make sure we do not come back here "and then makes something up to not come back is lying! And I am not willing to work with Mom. If there is any chance that she doen't trust me it will only end badly! I have no hidden reasons to inspect! The ONLY thing I care about is my reputation. I am not willing in this case to be the hero that works with mom and son to help him. Based on only knowing them a few days.... i will pass!
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Cat Herder 11:56 AM 11-14-2013
Well, can't blame the kid. I'd lie too if my parents taught me that was how to get what I wanted.

The problem is the Mom who rewarded him for it AND purposely sought attention for herself from you (and whomever else she is telling this story to).

Lot's of triangulating going on in that family. I'd go with a blanket term. Fewer details give her fewer avenues for drama supply.
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daycare 01:43 PM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I would term immediately.

Dear Parent,
As of today, 11/14/2013 I will be unable to provide daycare services.
Sincerely,
Your Provider

I would not put anything in writing about the child's lying.
this....

I would be certain to follow it up with a written a letter. This way it will not turn into a tit for tat game.

It happened to a provider friend of mine, she termed a family and then the next day they showed up as if they didnt know they were termed. After she told me that, I always make certain that anything that I talk about verbally, that I always follow it up in some way with a written document.
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Tags:red flag, terminate
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