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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Just Terminated Family....Ugh
Unregistered 06:20 AM 06-15-2017
I finally got up the nerve to terminate a family. The 2 yr old has been extremely aggressive towards the other children and difficult to supervise and manage. I know in my heart that my group will be safer and happier without the child present, but it was still hard to do to the family. They are nice people....and the sibling is doing fine here.

Now I just have to make it through the awkward last 2 weeks....
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Snowmom 06:56 AM 06-15-2017


It is hard no matter the circumstances. Just keep thinking about how much better your days will be without the added stress!
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Blackcat31 07:13 AM 06-15-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I finally got up the nerve to terminate a family. The 2 yr old has been extremely aggressive towards the other children and difficult to supervise and manage. I know in my heart that my group will be safer and happier without the child present, but it was still hard to do to the family. They are nice people....and the sibling is doing fine here.

Now I just have to make it through the awkward last 2 weeks....
For future reference, when you need to term due to something like this or really any reason you think may make the last two weeks "uncomfortable" I'd term immediately.

In instances of aggressive behavior, immediate is almost always necessary.

That saves you having to deal with the last two weeks and it saves the parent from behaving badly as well since most parents will pull out all stops the last two weeks because there is no consequence...kwim? They are already leaving so....

Anyways, sorry you are having to deal with this. It is tough but sometimes you gotta do whats in the best interest of the group.
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daycare 11:06 AM 06-15-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
For future reference, when you need to term due to something like this or really any reason you think may make the last two weeks "uncomfortable" I'd term immediately.

In instances of aggressive behavior, immediate is almost always necessary.

That saves you having to deal with the last two weeks and it saves the parent from behaving badly as well since most parents will pull out all stops the last two weeks because there is no consequence...kwim? They are already leaving so....

Anyways, sorry you are having to deal with this. It is tough but sometimes you gotta do whats in the best interest of the group.
I was going to say the same thing as BC. anytime it's for reasons of safety that could affect anyone in your program I would make it an immediate term. As a provider I promise my families and kids that I will do everything I can to be proactive about keeping my DC kids safe. Of course, we know kids are going to be hit by other kids from time to time, but if it's a very aggressive child, it could make the other kids feel unsafe. I don't ever want a child to feel unsafe while in my care. That could apply to adults, children , staff or etc.

Just food for thought. sorry you are having to go through this. terming is never fun or easy.
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AmyKidsCo 12:55 PM 06-15-2017
The only time the last 2 weeks haven't been uncomfortable for me is when I've known way in advance, like when a child ages out.

ITA about terming effective immediately. My policies state that parents must give 2 weeks notice but I can term effective immediately.
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trix23 03:30 PM 06-15-2017
That's rough!I
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Unregistered 04:27 PM 06-15-2017
Well, this is the OP. It got ugly, even though I tried to be nice. Mom sent me a couple of texts messages that were unkind, saying they were pulling the kids immediately but refusing to give me cash for the last 2 weeks (which is in the contract we all signed).

She also said that I should have tried to talk to her...ROFL!!! I brought it up at least weekly how I was struggling with him and the responses I got were either 1)he doesn't do that at home 2) is someone doing something to make him act that way or 3) he is just a 2 yr old boy.

One one hand, now I don't have to worry about this kiddo hurting another child here, or worry about his spitting, and throwing toys and running off when we are outside. But I am pissed that people can just turn on you just like that. Really pathetic.
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daycare 04:36 PM 06-15-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Well, this is the OP. It got ugly, even though I tried to be nice. Mom sent me a couple of texts messages that were unkind, saying they were pulling the kids immediately but refusing to give me cash for the last 2 weeks (which is in the contract we all signed).

She also said that I should have tried to talk to her...ROFL!!! I brought it up at least weekly how I was struggling with him and the responses I got were either 1)he doesn't do that at home 2) is someone doing something to make him act that way or 3) he is just a 2 yr old boy.

One one hand, now I don't have to worry about this kiddo hurting another child here, or worry about his spitting, and throwing toys and running off when we are outside. But I am pissed that people can just turn on you just like that. Really pathetic.
its amazing how adults can turn into toddlers when they don't get their way..

sorry that you had to go through this, but at least now you don't have to deal with the drama and headache every day.
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trix23 05:20 PM 06-15-2017
Any responsible parent would hold their child accountable and work on these problem behaviors. Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 07:38 AM 06-16-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Well, this is the OP. It got ugly, even though I tried to be nice. Mom sent me a couple of texts messages that were unkind, saying they were pulling the kids immediately but refusing to give me cash for the last 2 weeks (which is in the contract we all signed).

She also said that I should have tried to talk to her...ROFL!!! I brought it up at least weekly how I was struggling with him and the responses I got were either 1)he doesn't do that at home 2) is someone doing something to make him act that way or 3) he is just a 2 yr old boy.

One one hand, now I don't have to worry about this kiddo hurting another child here, or worry about his spitting, and throwing toys and running off when we are outside. But I am pissed that people can just turn on you just like that. Really pathetic.
That's unfortunate but common, I've noticed from my own experiences. This is why I document all discussions on behavior via e-mail. If I have an in person conversation then I recap it at the end of the electronic Daily Report (the title of the e-mail is always "Daily Report" but when there's a behavior note added I write "Daily Report + note" so I can easily find it later). Otherwise, I just include notes in the Daily Report about behaviors and save it to that child's e-mail file. If they try to say this, I then copy and paste as many as I can in there with the dates included. No one has ever argued after that.

Also, can you start requiring an Enrollment Fee? Final two week's tuition IF you require a two week's notice. It really, really helps for these types of situations.
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trix23 12:04 PM 06-16-2017
I'm loving the fact that I do an Enrollment Fee now. Less anxiety.
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Unregistered 08:39 AM 06-17-2017
I love the idea of an enrollment fee, but always worry it will drive potential families away because of the up front expense.

I am sure I will probably have to bring this family to court....and I will...and I will win.
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Josiegirl 11:17 AM 06-17-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I love the idea of an enrollment fee, but always worry it will drive potential families away because of the up front expense.

I am sure I will probably have to bring this family to court....and I will...and I will win.
And as long as you have the signed contract, everything documented, etc., you should win because she's the one who pulled immediately while you merely gave 2 week notice. You could've given her a notice for any reason under the sun! If she knew you were having issues she should have been more cooperative in forming a team in guiding her 2 yo. People don't make it a problem until it's THEIR problem.

I feel the same as you do regarding a 2 week enrollment fee but I can see from many people's experience it's the prudent way to go. I'm thinking families might be scared off by that amount of money upfront too. I should inquire locally if it's a common practice because truthfully I've never asked around.
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trix23 07:57 PM 06-17-2017
I allow them 8-12 weeks to pay the amount in full. 2 weeks tuition ($260-$400) plus all other fees. I feel this is reasonable.
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AmyKidsCo 01:12 PM 06-19-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I love the idea of an enrollment fee, but always worry it will drive potential families away because of the up front expense.

I am sure I will probably have to bring this family to court....and I will...and I will win.
I charge $25 enrollment plus first week's tuition due upon enrollment. Then payment for the last 2 weeks' care is due within 4 weeks of the first day of attendance. Some parents choose to pay it all at once, some spread it over the 4 weeks. So far no-one who wanted to enroll changed their mind because of it.
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daycarediva 02:15 PM 06-19-2017
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
That's unfortunate but common, I've noticed from my own experiences. This is why I document all discussions on behavior via e-mail. If I have an in person conversation then I recap it at the end of the electronic Daily Report (the title of the e-mail is always "Daily Report" but when there's a behavior note added I write "Daily Report + note" so I can easily find it later). Otherwise, I just include notes in the Daily Report about behaviors and save it to that child's e-mail file. If they try to say this, I then copy and paste as many as I can in there with the dates included. No one has ever argued after that.

Also, can you start requiring an Enrollment Fee? Final two week's tuition IF you require a two week's notice. It really, really helps for these types of situations.
SAME! Keep a paper trail!

Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I love the idea of an enrollment fee, but always worry it will drive potential families away because of the up front expense.

I am sure I will probably have to bring this family to court....and I will...and I will win.
I allow families that cannot afford the lump sum up front to pay it in installments (with an added fee of $5/week that they carry a balance, that is non refundable) Works great!
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Unregistered 04:34 PM 06-19-2017
I got a text message last night saying she would stop by with the cash after I closed for the day. And she did! So they are paid up in full.

I am so glad I don't have to waste my time and energy taking them to court. She was really super angry when she was here, and I said 'I hope you find someone that is a good fit for your family', and she said 'we already have'. Lol, I highly doubt they found someone in 3 days, but maybe they put the kiddos in a center.

Anyway, on to better behaved kids! I hope.....
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daycarediva 04:29 AM 06-20-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I got a text message last night saying she would stop by with the cash after I closed for the day. And she did! So they are paid up in full.

I am so glad I don't have to waste my time and energy taking them to court. She was really super angry when she was here, and I said 'I hope you find someone that is a good fit for your family', and she said 'we already have'. Lol, I highly doubt they found someone in 3 days, but maybe they put the kiddos in a center.

Anyway, on to better behaved kids! I hope.....
centers ARE the better option for aggressive kids. They will rarely terminate (in my experience) and have multiple staff to supervise closely/separate.
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abc's123's Learning Home 04:42 PM 03-29-2018
I have each and every client sign a contract. In the contract it states I need a written weekly schedule. I give the option of texting me the schedule, writing it on my calendar or on a piece of paper.
This particular client refused to do so. I never knew drop off time and or pick up time. I finally had enough and I gave her a two week notice. she became upset with me and told me I was stressed out and she was worried about her child being here. I told her because she was worried for the safety of her child that this would be the last day I would be able to care for her child. Now she is threatening to take me to court because I will not honor the two week termination I gave her. Can she sue me for that? I did give her the two-week termination and writing. I did that feel it was appropriate for me to continue care for a child when the parent was worried about that child in my care.
not sure if I posted this in the right spot.
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boy_mom 03:56 AM 03-30-2018
Even if she does sue you, you have every right to terminate care because of her statement she fears for her child. Did she put that in writing?

I think she is just blowing smoke but I think you did the right thing!
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MOM OF 4 09:09 AM 03-30-2018
Originally Posted by abc's123's Learning Home:
I have each and every client sign a contract. In the contract it states I need a written weekly schedule. I give the option of texting me the schedule, writing it on my calendar or on a piece of paper.
This particular client refused to do so. I never knew drop off time and or pick up time. I finally had enough and I gave her a two week notice. she became upset with me and told me I was stressed out and she was worried about her child being here. I told her because she was worried for the safety of her child that this would be the last day I would be able to care for her child. Now she is threatening to take me to court because I will not honor the two week termination I gave her. Can she sue me for that? I did give her the two-week termination and writing. I did that feel it was appropriate for me to continue care for a child when the parent was worried about that child in my care.
not sure if I posted this in the right spot.
Call her bluff and tell her to do it. The fact she commented that she's worried about the safety of her child because you gave a notice, means that no judge would take her seriously for trying to force you to honor a 2 week notice when she stated her child may be unsafe. What kind of parent would bring a child to a place they TRULY felt the child was unsafe in the first place and if she didn't feel that way, she made a false statement regarding your care to try to get out of paying. Either way, she sinks herself.

Years ago, I had a set of parents try the same thing. They wanted me to go and take their child, though I had terminated because 1. they weren't bringing the child consistently and not calling or texting and 2. they weren't paying for days they did use (that was when I did part-time care)

They threatened my license, threatened to burn down my house, then called cps to say I withheld food from their kid, beat the child, etc. Then they had the NERVE to tell me they would take ME to court. I said "DO IT" because all the stuff they did to me to try to bully me into keeping the kids because they did not have other care? The court would tear that shiz right up.
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lovemykidstoo 10:57 AM 03-30-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Well, this is the OP. It got ugly, even though I tried to be nice. Mom sent me a couple of texts messages that were unkind, saying they were pulling the kids immediately but refusing to give me cash for the last 2 weeks (which is in the contract we all signed).

She also said that I should have tried to talk to her...ROFL!!! I brought it up at least weekly how I was struggling with him and the responses I got were either 1)he doesn't do that at home 2) is someone doing something to make him act that way or 3) he is just a 2 yr old boy.

One one hand, now I don't have to worry about this kiddo hurting another child here, or worry about his spitting, and throwing toys and running off when we are outside. But I am pissed that people can just turn on you just like that. Really pathetic.

And this is why her child behaves the way he does. She allows it and makes excuses for it. She needs to wake up and realize he's out of contol before he becomes an out of control teenager.
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