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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Logged Out Because I Can't Stand Myself
Michael 04:18 PM 01-21-2013
Congratulations daycare, you were the 100th post on this thread .

I was considering making the forum "members only" but this thread made me reconsider. I think there is a lot of good information and suggestions from our peers here. I think OP would have otherwise felt ostracized and kept this to herself if she had logged in.
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Blackcat31 04:20 PM 01-21-2013
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:

It's gonna suck though......really really suck.
It didn't HAVE to though. That is really the saddest part.

First ~ it happened. It was a mistake. The provider should have been proactive and professional. Documented it, reported it and had a plan of action so that it NEVER happened again.

I could have and would have respected that.

Second ~ she let the parents "advise" her on what she should do. ANY provider who has been in business for more than a month knows FULL well that parents don't make, enforce or decide the laws, rules and or penalties for providers.

I cringed when I read that.

Third ~ She decided that she was going to keep this under wraps and NOT report it. She lashed out at posters who didn't didn't agree and/or viewed this as frightening and serious.

I am floored by that.

I am really really disappointed in the number of posters who basically said "Yah! All your parents are okay with what happened so everything is all rainbows and sunshine again!"

I simply don't know what to say about that.

99% of the posters who replied are parents themselves.

Would any of you honestly and seriously have thought it was no big deal if it was YOUR child who was left in the car?!?! I doubt it.

My views, thoughts and opinions have forever been skewed by this thread.
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daycare 04:27 PM 01-21-2013
Originally Posted by Michael:
Congratulations daycare, you were the 100th post on this thread .

I was considering making the forum "members only" but this thread made me reconsider. I think there is a lot of good information and suggestions from her peers here. I think OP would have otherwise felt ostracized and kept this to herself if she had logged in.
haha I did not even notice that I was the 100th...do I get a prize....lol

Yes, I am proud of the most of the member here for keeping this positive and not attacking the OP> I feel so bad for this person...
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daycare 04:28 PM 01-21-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
It didn't HAVE to though. That is really the saddest part.

First ~ it happened. It was a mistake. The provider should have been proactive and professional. Documented it, reported it and had a plan of action so that it NEVER happened again.

I could have and would have respected that.

Second ~ she let the parents "advise" her on what she should do. ANY provider who has been in business for more than a month knows FULL well that parents don't make, enforce or decide the laws, rules and or penalties for providers.

I cringed when I read that.

Third ~ She decided that she was going to keep this under wraps and NOT report it. She lashed out at posters who didn't agree and/or viewed this as frightening and serious.

I am floored by that.

I am really really disappointed in the number of posters who basically said "Yah! All your parents are okay with what happened so everything is all rainbows and sunshine again!"

I simply don't know what to say about that.

99% of the posters who replied are parents themselves.

Would any of you honestly and seriously have thought it was no big deal if it was YOUR child who was left in the car?!?! I doubt it.

My views, thoughts and opinions have forever been skewed by this thread.
wow I have missed alot!!! guess when I have some time I will have to go back and read..
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Michael 04:50 PM 01-21-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:

Would any of you honestly and seriously have thought it was no big deal if it was YOUR child who was left in the car?!?! I doubt it.

My views, thoughts and opinions have forever been skewed by this thread.
As long as your opinions of us have not been skewed.
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Unregistered 05:04 PM 01-21-2013
Everyone was closed today. I will report it tomorrow and hope for the best. For the record, I was completely honest with all parents about the amount of time. You can say I made a horrible mistake, but I was 100% honest about it and I will continue to do so. I just hope the state is as forgiving as the parents.. Please end this discussion with this. It hurts to see more harsh words. I have enough for myself.
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crazydaycarelady 05:14 PM 01-21-2013
OP - please DO NOT beat yourself up over this anymore. Mistakes happen! This one had a good outcome (for the most part.) That fact that it happened does not mean you are not a good parent or provider - think about all of the parents that leave their kids in cars that die each year. It happens! It won't happen to you again. It's over. (((HUGS)))
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Blackcat31 05:14 PM 01-21-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Everyone was closed today. I will report it tomorrow and hope for the best. For the record, I was completely honest with all parents about the amount of time. You can say I made a horrible mistake, but I was 100% honest about it and I will continue to do so. I just hope the state is as forgiving as the parents.. Please end this discussion with this. It hurts to see more harsh words. I have enough for myself.
I am so glad.

I AM sorry that this happened. I never once said you weren't honest. I did however think that this was something that could be managed and dealt with professionally and in the right way. I will repeat what I said before. We are ALL human and we all make and have made mistakes, I do NOT fault you for that.

I am sorry that you are in the position you are in. I DO sympathize with you and pray that something good becomes of this. NO mistake is a bad mistake IF we learn something from it.

I still offer you nothing but a peaceful resolution to this unfortunate situation. I think in your heart of hearts, you knew the right thing to do.

When all is said and done, I hope you can look back at this and not be angry or bitter about anything that was said here.

Support isn't always a thumbs-up good job type post.

Sometimes support is a push in the direction you DON'T want to go in.

Praying for you.
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Former Teacher 05:49 PM 01-21-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Everyone was closed today. I will report it tomorrow and hope for the best. For the record, I was completely honest with all parents about the amount of time. You can say I made a horrible mistake, but I was 100% honest about it and I will continue to do so. I just hope the state is as forgiving as the parents.. Please end this discussion with this. It hurts to see more harsh words. I have enough for myself.
Thank you Unregistered.

We are not trying to belittle you or kick you while you are down. So please don't think that.

We are here to comfort you. Please know that.

(((hugs)))
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MissAnn 05:54 PM 01-21-2013
Keep us posted. I admire your honesty. Get a good nights sleep tonight. I will say a prayer for you. Your supervisor will appreciate your willingness to bring this out in the open and will trust you in the future.
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Meeko 06:37 PM 01-21-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Everyone was closed today. I will report it tomorrow and hope for the best. For the record, I was completely honest with all parents about the amount of time. You can say I made a horrible mistake, but I was 100% honest about it and I will continue to do so. I just hope the state is as forgiving as the parents.. Please end this discussion with this. It hurts to see more harsh words. I have enough for myself.
I'm proud of you. We will all be thinking of you and sending good vibes. Please let us know how it goes.

While serious, most licensing departments are not "out to get you". I doubt you'll get a "never mind", but you may be pleasantly surprised after all.

You are doing the right thing.
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lolaland 06:42 PM 01-21-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Everyone was closed today. I will report it tomorrow and hope for the best. For the record, I was completely honest with all parents about the amount of time. You can say I made a horrible mistake, but I was 100% honest about it and I will continue to do so. I just hope the state is as forgiving as the parents.. Please end this discussion with this. It hurts to see more harsh words. I have enough for myself.
Thank you OP for sharing in this forum your very painfull incident! I learned so much from all that was said in here and I wish you all the strenght necessary to overcome what's ahead. I believe you already did the most difficult part: facing this child's parents... everything else will be easier than that. You proved to be a very strong lady! I will be thinking of you. No matter what... "this too shall pass..." - Abraham Lincoln.
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Blackcat31 10:30 AM 01-22-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Everyone was closed today. I will report it tomorrow and hope for the best.
Curious as to how it went today...

Were they supportive about it?

Hoping your willingness to step forward and report this yourself was atleast counted for something.
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MissAnn 10:46 AM 01-22-2013
I'm very impatient to hear how this ended. Sending positives vibes your way, OP!

We learned a lot from your experience. I for one have been very cautiously counting kids. It really could have happened to any of us...or something similar. How many of us have left a knife on the counter? Had a child walk into the kitchen while you we're carrying a hot pot? Didn't cut fruit into small pieces? Who knows what else.....so many near accidents. It is a scary job. I feel bad that I didn't term a boy when he showed violent tendencies.....and he hurt a boy who had to go to the ER.

So don't feel alone OP......we are all imperfect but learning more each day in this crazy career.
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Crystal 06:13 PM 01-24-2013
Any news? hope you are doing well!!
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sahm2three 09:46 AM 01-25-2013
Any news? Hoping all turns out ok. HUGS TO YOU!
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Jewels 10:37 AM 01-25-2013
I'm sorry this happened, worst nightmare for something like this to happen, I'm glad they were all understanding....

I had a horrible mom episode last weekend, I with my 22 yr old sister took my 2 kids to the dr for flu shots, I got my son, she got my daughter, then we went to the store to get my sons birthday cake, I got my son out, she got my daughter, Then we got home, and I got my son out, and 40 minutes later, my husband asked when my daughter is, I said "I thought she was downstairs with you" he says no, I look at my sister and say "you took her out of the car right?" she said NO, I ran out there and she was screaming! i unbuckled her so fast, ran her in side and laid down with her and I was just bawling, I felt so awful, I do not blame my sister I blame myself for this, its my kid, I just didn't realize, I assumed like everywhere else she took her out, I came inside with my son, and he was super excited to show his dad something, I wasn't feeling good and went to lay down, my husband and son were playing a video game downstairs, and she likes to sit with them down there(shes 3 1/2). I totally blame myself but do get a little mad at my sister as well, you took her out every other time! luckily it was 40 degrees, so not freezing not hot, she had coat and gloves, so she was fine, but still everyday now when we go somewhere, she says "please don't leave me in the car again mommy"
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CozyHome 09:00 PM 01-25-2013
WTF? I was here last week and the story has completely changed. The provider said she left the child in a freezing van for 30 minutes last week. Now it says 5 minutes? Why the lies?
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CozyHome 09:09 PM 01-25-2013
Originally Posted by Michael:
Congratulations daycare, you were the 100th post on this thread .

I was considering making the forum "members only" but this thread made me reconsider. I think there is a lot of good information and suggestions from our peers here. I think OP would have otherwise felt ostracized and kept this to herself if she had logged in.
Wow, if anybody ever made me doubt your professionalism, this just proved their point. Wow. Money is your deal!
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mamac 09:40 PM 01-25-2013
Originally Posted by CozyHome:
WTF? I was here last week and the story has completely changed. The provider said she left the child in a freezing van for 30 minutes last week. Now it says 5 minutes? Why the lies?
I know I'm new here but why was the original post edited by Michael? I also read the OP and it was much more detailed than what is currently there. All the important facts have been removed. Can anyone explain?
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CozyHome 09:52 PM 01-25-2013
I admit, I'm new here and haven't been very interested in many posts but leaving a child in a van for 30 minutes in any temperature in any circumstances for a home daycare provider is unforgiveable in my opinion. It gives us all a bad reputation. It should be dealt with. I came back to the forum to see about how things were dealt with this week and I am very disappointed to see that is was apparently all swept under the rug.

If the guilty HDCP has admitted her mistake, closed her doors and started anew then I'm fine with that. We all learn from bad mistakes. But in the original posts last week she said she told her families in care and they were all fine. I found that hard to believe.
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Crazy In Mo 10:26 PM 01-25-2013
Originally Posted by CozyHome:
WTF? I was here last week and the story has completely changed. The provider said she left the child in a freezing van for 30 minutes last week. Now it says 5 minutes? Why the lies?
The child was in the van for 30 minutes and it took her 5 minutes to realize where the child was. I don't think there are any lies, a few people just misunderstood what she said.
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Crazy In Mo 10:27 PM 01-25-2013
Originally Posted by CozyHome:
Wow, if anybody ever made me doubt your professionalism, this just proved their point. Wow. Money is your deal!

I am not seeing where he said anything about money??!???
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mom2many 11:27 PM 01-25-2013
Originally Posted by CozyHome:
WTF? I was here last week and the story has completely changed. The provider said she left the child in a freezing van for 30 minutes last week. Now it says 5 minutes? Why the lies?
I don't believe anything ever changed...The OP said she didn't realize the child was not with them for 30 min and then searched for 5 min till she found her in the car. It was never said to be "freezing"
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mom2many 11:29 PM 01-25-2013
Originally Posted by Crazy In Mo:
I am not seeing where he said anything about money??!???
What is this all about? I agree, money has nothing to do with any of this.
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mamac 05:54 AM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by Crazy In Mo:
The child was in the van for 30 minutes and it took her 5 minutes to realize where the child was. I don't think there are any lies, a few people just misunderstood what she said.
If you go back and read the original post ALL the pertinent information has been removed. It has now been made to look like the child was left for only 5 minutes. The post has been edited down to almost nothing.
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MyAngels 06:05 AM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by CozyHome:
Wow, if anybody ever made me doubt your professionalism, this just proved their point. Wow. Money is your deal!
What? Who said anything about money?


Originally Posted by mamac:
I know I'm new here but why was the original post edited by Michael? I also read the OP and it was much more detailed than what is currently there. All the important facts have been removed. Can anyone explain?
Michael typically edits for things like spelling, typos or to remove identifying information. The important facts still seem to be there - that they went to the park, after 30 minutes she realized she'd lost one and after searching for 5 minutes the lost child was found.
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Blackcat31 06:51 AM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by mamac:
If you go back and read the original post ALL the pertinent information has been removed. It has now been made to look like the child was left for only 5 minutes. The post has been edited down to almost nothing.
I am quoting the original post below. It has not and was never edited to read that the child was only left for 5 minutes.
The pertinent information is still there.

When Admin and/or mods edit posts, it is usually due to spelling, grammmatical or other errors.

Sometimes personal or identifying information is removed but I have personally never edited or know of anyone else who has edited a post to change it's content.

I am not sure why the OP's first post was edited but I don't believe any important or relevant information was removed.

Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I went to the park with six kids. I usually have five. After playing for a half hour, a kid asked me where another kid was. I couldn't find her. I panicked, looking for five minutes before realizing I left a three year old in the car. Omg. I'm a mess. What do I tell the parents, besides how sorry I am. Omg. I'm one of those horrible people

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Sugar Magnolia 10:50 AM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by CozyHome:
Wow, if anybody ever made me doubt your professionalism, this just proved their point. Wow. Money is your deal!
Say what? Huh? Besides being wrong on so many levels, this is also a needless hijack of an important thread. Boo. I find nothing wrong with what Michael said, and I would like to apologize to all readers, who like me, have returned to the thread hoping to see.an update from the OP, and are having to read through sidetracked drama,. Including my own post now. Double Boo.
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Abigail 12:13 PM 01-26-2013
Well this became a super long thread so I read half of it and skimmed the rest. I don't understand why so many people "look down" or are scared of licensing. If you are nice and honest with your licensors.....they are not out to get you. LOL.

My licensor is super nice and I've contacted her a few times over my first year of business and she is nice in general when she does her pop in inspections. I have been told I have a "tougher" licensor but that just means she goes above and beyond just like me! I know I go above and beyond for everything, but I do my best.

Licensing wants you to call and ask for advice. If you act like you can handle everything of course they are put in a position where they are not as nice. I would still call and get it off my mind. No need to make parents sign forms, they already know of the incident. You shouldn't walk away from the business either, it is your passion.

Just call your licensor and let them know that you need to chat with them. They might already know, but if they don't they will be happy to know even when you are scared to death because of the need to report it, they will be happier to have heard it from you now. It will show a lot of you as a person. I hope you have a better weekend! HUGS
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nannyde 12:16 PM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by CozyHome:
Wow, if anybody ever made me doubt your professionalism, this just proved their point. Wow. Money is your deal!


You do realize this forum is FREE to us right? He owns the biggest child care domain name in the history of the internet....... he had the foresight to purchase this when the internet was new... and PAYS for this forum for us year after year AND maintains the archives for us.

He gives away a TON of free advertising to the people who participate on this forum and helps out many causes year after year thru this site. His advertising section is one of the best deals on the net...

Really?

Not cool.

Michael is a good man.
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NeedaVaca 01:22 PM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by CozyHome:
I admit, I'm new here and haven't been very interested in many posts but leaving a child in a van for 30 minutes in any temperature in any circumstances for a home daycare provider is unforgiveable in my opinion. It gives us all a bad reputation. It should be dealt with. I came back to the forum to see about how things were dealt with this week and I am very disappointed to see that is was apparently all swept under the rug.

If the guilty HDCP has admitted her mistake, closed her doors and started anew then I'm fine with that. We all learn from bad mistakes. But in the original posts last week she said she told her families in care and they were all fine. I found that hard to believe.
Look, I have just read your venting post and now all of this drama...You actually said you HATE a DCB...I don't think you are in any position to be criticizing people, above all Michael...
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MissAnn 02:39 PM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:


You do realize this forum is FREE to us right? He owns the biggest child care domain name in the history of the internet....... he had the foresight to purchase this when the internet was new... and PAYS for this forum for us year after year AND maintains the archives for us.

He gives away a TON of free advertising to the people who participate on this forum and helps out many causes year after year thru this site. His advertising section is one of the best deals on the net...

Really?

Not cool.

Michael is a good man.
I didn't know this! Thanks for telling us. I love this forum although I tend to not post a lot. I am thankful it's here and that I can find almost any question answered before eve having to ask. If not, I can ask and no one knows who I am!

OP I hope all went well for you. I hope you are still an active member. You never have to reveal who you are. We all need support and answers as well as giving support and answers. You are valued here and we have all learned from your unfortunate experience. I hope you give us an update. I've bonded with you. I've prayed for you too. I keep checking for updates!
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MissAnn 02:41 PM 01-26-2013
And......thank you Michael for this forum! I would pay to belong!
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Michael 03:18 PM 01-26-2013
Oh, this thread has grown in so many ways.

@CozyHome

I'm not sure where I went wrong with you. I don't remember mentioning money or charging for anything. Maybe you were on my Whisky.com forum and got confused?

Members have the ability to edit their thread within a certain amount of time. I don't see where the OP was reduced or changed in any way. I sometimes correct grammar but never change the context or content of anything. I do have some members that over time ask me to delete threads, which I will not do. I DO take out personal or private information that the OP wants me to remove(within reason).

Thanks to all of you who appreciate this forum. I like coming here everyday.
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lovemykidstoo 04:29 PM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by Michael:
Oh, this thread has grown in so many ways.

@CozyHome

I'm not sure where I went wrong with you. I don't remember mentioning money or charging for anything. Maybe you were on my Whisky.com forum and got confused?

Members have the ability to edit their thread within a certain amount of time. I don't see where the OP was reduced or changed in any way. I sometimes correct grammar but never change the context or content of anything. I do have some members that over time ask me to delete threads, which I will not do. I DO take out personal or private information that the OP wants me to remove(within reason).

Thanks to all of you who appreciate this forum. I like coming here everyday.
Michael, I appreciate you and your board is fantastic!!! Thank you!
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mamac 05:36 PM 01-26-2013
Michael- I think I may have been the one at whiskey.com. After reading Cozy's post I went back to the OP to check and somehow missed where it mentioned the thirty minutes. That's the pertinent information I was talking about. I apologize if it sounded like I was accusing you of altering the OP. Like I said before, all this stuff is very new to me. This is the first forum I've ever belonged to and I think it's a great source of valuable information for all of us and I definitely appreciate it and all the help I've received so far. I'm sorry if I was out of line.
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Michael 05:55 PM 01-26-2013
I looked again at the OP and it does look a lot less of the story it originally was. It was posted on 1/18/13 and I edited it for grammar on the same date as you can see. I know the original post was there for several days. If the OP asked an moderator to change it, they needed to ask me first. I am not opposed to it being edited for personal reasons but in this case it was a member that wrote up the thread after logging out. A moderator must have edited for the member. I certainly did not. I will also check the logs.
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blandino 08:26 PM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by Abigail:
Well this became a super long thread so I read half of it and skimmed the rest. I don't understand why so many people "look down" or are scared of licensing. If you are nice and honest with your licensors.....they are not out to get you. LOL.

My licensor is super nice and I've contacted her a few times over my first year of business and she is nice in general when she does her pop in inspections. I have been told I have a "tougher" licensor but that just means she goes above and beyond just like me! I know I go above and beyond for everything, but I do my best.

Licensing wants you to call and ask for advice. If you act like you can handle everything of course they are put in a position where they are not as nice. I would still call and get it off my mind. No need to make parents sign forms, they already know of the incident. You shouldn't walk away from the business either, it is your passion.

Just call your licensor and let them know that you need to chat with them. They might already know, but if they don't they will be happy to know even when you are scared to death because of the need to report it, they will be happier to have heard it from you now. It will show a lot of you as a person. I hope you have a better weekend! HUGS
I would have to disagree with our views on licensing. Obviously licensing varies state-to-state, and while I am very happy that you feel that way about your licensing staff, I definitely think that is not the case for all daycare providers. I have had licensing specialist who have cited us for issues that aren't even a violation of licensing regulations. And who are very much looking to find you at fault when push comes to shove. We Have had some great licensing specialists and some horrible ones. But I completely understand some posters fear about calling licensing.
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Blackcat31 08:26 AM 01-27-2013
Originally Posted by blandino:
I would have to disagree with our views on licensing. Obviously licensing varies state-to-state, and while I am very happy that you feel that way about your licensing staff, I definitely think that is not the case for all daycare providers. I have had licensing specialist who have cited us for issues that aren't even a violation of licensing regulations. And who are very much looking to find you at fault when push comes to shove. We Have had some great licensing specialists and some horrible ones. But I completely understand some posters fear about calling licensing.
I am sorry that you have a licensor that is not on your side. I have one like Abigail. I am very grateful for that.

However, it really doesn't matter what kind of licensor you have. You can NOT sweep something that is reportable under the rug. Whether parents tell you to or not. You can't do that just because you are afraid of or worried about your licensor.

Forgetting a child in a vehicle for that long is absolutely frightening and something that needs some SERIOUS addressing. State laws say this MUST be reported and whether or not the licensor is supportive or mean, the law is the law.

This entire scenario is scary as several things went wrong and continue to go wrong...atleast until OP updates us and let's us know what happened after she reported it.

Again, I am sorry not all providers have licensors that are on the same team and are supportive of them, but that still doesn't change the fact that we all individually take on a certain level of repsonsibility and accountibility when we begin caring for someone else's child. We can't run from it, hide it or deny that we do.
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blandino 12:03 PM 01-27-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I am sorry that you have a licensor that is not on your side. I have one like Abigail. I am very grateful for that.

However, it really doesn't matter what kind of licensor you have. You can NOT sweep something that is reportable under the rug. Whether parents tell you to or not. You can't do that just because you are afraid of or worried about your licensor.

Forgetting a child in a vehicle for that long is absolutely frightening and something that needs some SERIOUS addressing. State laws say this MUST be reported and whether or not the licensor is supportive or mean, the law is the law.

This entire scenario is scary as several things went wrong and continue to go wrong...atleast until OP updates us and let's us know what happened after she reported it.

Again, I am sorry not all providers have licensors that are on the same team and are supportive of them, but that still doesn't change the fact that we all individually take on a certain level of repsonsibility and accountibility when we begin caring for someone else's child. We can't run from it, hide it or deny that we do.

Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I am sorry that you have a licensor that is not on your side. I have one like Abigail. I am very grateful for that.

However, it really doesn't matter what kind of licensor you have. You can NOT sweep something that is reportable under the rug. Whether parents tell you to or not. You can't do that just because you are afraid of or worried about your licensor.

Forgetting a child in a vehicle for that long is absolutely frightening and something that needs some SERIOUS addressing. State laws say this MUST be reported and whether or not the licensor is supportive or mean, the law is the law.

This entire scenario is scary as several things went wrong and continue to go wrong...atleast until OP updates us and let's us know what happened after she reported it.

Again, I am sorry not all providers have licensors that are on the same team and are supportive of them, but that still doesn't change the fact that we all individually take on a certain level of repsonsibility and accountibility when we begin caring for someone else's child. We can't run from it, hide it or deny that we do.
Oh definitely, I would absolutley agree that she should self-report, regardless of her licensor. But I can emphathize with wanting to keep her licensor as uninvolved in her life as humanly possible. I have even stopped myself from calling with questions, because it seemed like a past licensing monitor could find something I was doing wrong just by asking the question. I just wanted to represent the side who doesn't feel that comfortable with their licensor, and might hesitate and would NOT have someone on their side in the situation - and how that is a very real problem some of us face.
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Country Kids 09:24 PM 01-27-2013
Originally Posted by Michael:
I looked again at the OP and it does look a lot less of the story it originally was. It was posted on 1/18/13 and I edited it for grammar on the same date as you can see. I know the original post was there for several days. If the OP asked an moderator to change it, they needed to ask me first. I am not opposed to it being edited for personal reasons but in this case it was a member that wrote up the thread after logging out. A moderator must have edited for the member. I certainly did not. I will also check the logs.
It does seem like alot of that post is missing. I seem to remember it being alot longer then what it is showing now. Do the logs show it as longer?
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Michael 10:48 PM 01-27-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
It does seem like alot of that post is missing. I seem to remember it being alot longer then what it is showing now. Do the logs show it as longer?
There are two schools to how the original post was. I wish the OP would give us some guidance. Logs show just me editing the post a couple hours after it went up. Usually someone quotes the OP and it shows up in several other posts but not this one. So I have no clue.

Nothing nefarious here. Move along.
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Lianne 04:50 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
It does seem like alot of that post is missing. I seem to remember it being alot longer then what it is showing now. Do the logs show it as longer?
There was definitely more content in the original post. The original post stated that she didn't usually have this child on that day of the week, that the child needed the extra day of care. I also remember there being more detail about removing the other children from the vehicle and the search for the missing child. There were other pieces of info in the original post that are missing but I can't remember what exactly.
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countrymom 05:53 AM 01-28-2013
wow the original post really did shrink. Acually it sounds like someone rewrote the post. Could the op be one of the moderators thats why the post is so short.
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Michelle 06:12 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
wow the original post really did shrink. Acually it sounds like someone rewrote the post. Could the op be one of the moderators thats why the post is so short.
I also remember that she said all the kids can unbuckle themselves...
that's why she thought they were all out.. ( I think that's what it said)
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Blackcat31 06:26 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
wow the original post really did shrink. Acually it sounds like someone rewrote the post. Could the op be one of the moderators thats why the post is so short.
The OP is not a moderator.

Originally Posted by Michelle:
I also remember that she said all the kids can unbuckle themselves...
that's why she thought they were all out.. ( I think that's what it said)
I also recall the OP stating all the kids can unbuckle themselves but I believe that information was in another post she made in response to someone else. (I just checked and the inof about the kids unbuckling themselves in in post #38 in response to another poster.)


Honestly, I don't really see how any of the missing info matters as the pertinent information is still there.

The post still clearly identifies what happened, the number of kids she had in care that day, how long the child was missing, how long she looked and how she felt about the situation.

Unless the OP returns to give us an update, anything we continue to post is purely speculation.
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countrymom 07:34 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
The OP is not a moderator.



I also recall the OP stating all the kids can unbuckle themselves but I believe that information was in another post she made in response to someone else. (I just checked and the inof about the kids unbuckling themselves in in post #38 in response to another poster.)


Honestly, I don't really see how any of the missing info matters as the pertinent information is still there.

The post still clearly identifies what happened, the number of kids she had in care that day, how long the child was missing, how long she looked and how she felt about the situation.

Unless the OP returns to give us an update, anything we continue to post is purely speculation.
the tone of the post has changed. The first post was someone clearly in distress, and upset. Now the post seems black and white, very rigid. kwim.
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mom2many 07:51 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by Lianne:
There was definitely more content in the original post. The original post stated that she didn't usually have this child on that day of the week, that the child needed the extra day of care. I also remember there being more detail about removing the other children from the vehicle and the search for the missing child. There were other pieces of info in the original post that are missing but I can't remember what exactly.
I do remember this part about the missing child not usually being with her on this day of the week. When pps mentioned the original post had changed, I totally missed that. It still says that she had more kids than usual, but as Countrymom stated, the tone is different now.

I watch many p/t families and this particular point had resonated with me, because I am constantly having to remember who is coming what day and this would be my absolute worst night mare!

When reading the pps last night, I had thought maybe the OP was a moderator too, so this is very strange indeed.
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Blackcat31 08:03 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
the tone of the post has changed. The first post was someone clearly in distress, and upset. Now the post seems black and white, very rigid. kwim.
Originally Posted by mom2many:
I do remember this part about the missing child not usually being with her on this day of the week. When pps mentioned the original post had changed, I totally missed that. It still says that she had more kids than usual, but as Countrymom stated, the tone is different now.

I watch many p/t families and this particular point hit had resonated with me, because I am constantly having to remember who is coming what day and this would be my absolute worst night mare!

When reading the pps last night, I had thought maybe the OP was a moderator too, so this is very strange indeed.
I never read what is supposedly the original post. What is there now, is all I ever read.

I also think tone comes more from our own interpretation. I viewed her "tone" in her other responses as quick to anger (her reply to MamaG).

Her "tone" in my opinion, in regards to the parents all being ok with it was almost like she was all happy go lucky and not at all worried about the situation.

I don't know as that is MY perception of her tone. I think we all interpret the written word differently and we all apply what we read to what we ourselves know and feel so the "tone" of someone's post/words is completely open to the reader. kwim?

Also on a side note, her tone has nothing to do with the chain of events and the resulting actions she took or didn't take.

If she was really distressed and upset based on her tone in the original post, was it due to what she thought could possibly happen to her or was it distress and worry for the child?

She could have been upset and stressed about what would happen to HER if someone found out about this or she could have been worried about what the parents would think of HER if they were told about this. She could have been worried about the families pulling their children out of HER program because this had happened.

She could also have been worried about the child and how this effected the child.....emotionally, mentally and/or physically but since she NEVER mentioned the condition or mental state of the child in all of this....I highly doubt her concern was for anyone but herself.

That is MY perception of her tone and/or state of mine.
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Country Kids 08:24 AM 01-28-2013
If everyone read carefully through the posts at least two other providers talk about missing children while in their care and how awful, scared they felt. Not one provider blasted these people and said they should call licensing-not one. Why weren't they called out on this?

Here's what I found interesting-everyone seemed geniuly worried for the provider and then when she said the parents were ok, it suddenly turned into you need to call licensing. Why did it go from worry to reporting? I wonder what everyone would have said if the poster had said the parents were furious? How would everyone reacted?

Even Nannyde had a post that most season providers have made some mistakes with kids that might have resulted in injury if not caught. I don't know how to quote it here but it was one of the post on the first page I believe.

We may not here from this provider again-ever and know the outcome of what licensing said. In fact they may have closed her down, costing her money, her families, her livilehood. Her parents may have been truly understanding-we don't know these people and if licensing closed her down-for what, her parents understood. Some licensors aren't as forgiving as some make them out to be.

I guess I was just amazed out how some were not called out on things they had done, and how it went from worrying to now it all needs to be reported.
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Blackcat31 08:39 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
If everyone read carefully through the posts at least two other providers talk about missing children while in their care and how awful, scared they felt. Not one provider blasted these people and said they should call licensing-not one. Why weren't they called out on this?
If I recall (correct me if I am wrong) but the stories other providers shared about forgetting kids were stories from in the past. I don't recall anyone sharing that they had recently left or forgot a kid.

Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Here's what I found interesting-everyone seemed geniuly worried for the provider and then when she said the parents were ok, it suddenly turned into you need to call licensing. Why did it go from worry to reporting? I wonder what everyone would have said if the poster had said the parents were furious? How would everyone reacted?
Please do not say "everyone". I am the 2nd poster. My first words were call your licensor and report this.

My opinion of the posters being suddenly on board once the OP said her parents were ok with the situation is a great example of simple agreeance without actually thinking the situation through.

Too many posters simply agree with the majority for fear of being called out for being different, due to lack of experience or simply not really thinking the situation through and realizing what the right thing to do is. I don't know but those are my guesses as to why some posters simply jump on whatever bandwagon is passing by.

Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Even Nannyde had a post that most season providers have made some mistakes with kids that might have resulted in injury if not caught. I don't know how to quote it here but it was one of the post on the first page I believe.
Not sure why Nan's post is any different as she was implying that we have all made mistakes but luck was all that saved us from tragedy but still the situation needed to be reported.
She said that in several other posts she made.

Originally Posted by Country Kids:
We may not here from this provider again-ever and know the outcome of what licensing said. In fact they may have closed her down, costing her money, her families, her livilehood. Her parents may have been truly understanding-we don't know these people and if licensing closed her down-for what, her parents understood. Some licensors aren't as forgiving as some make them out to be.

I guess I was just amazed out how some were not called out on things they had done, and how it went from worrying to now it all needs to be reported.
We also do not KNOW if this provider did do the right thing or not.

We don't KNOW that she did or didn't really tell her parents.

IMHO, it doesn't matter what your licensor is like. The law is the law no matter who is enforcing it.
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LaLa1923 08:55 AM 01-28-2013
This entire thing bothers me......... What happened to the rest of the post? I seriously think someone deleted the details on purpose. ?..
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Blackcat31 09:15 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by LaLa1923:
This entire thing bothers me......... What happened to the rest of the post? I seriously think someone deleted the details on purpose. ?..
I don't mean this harshly or rudely but who cares what happened to the original post?

Michael already clarified that there is nothing nefarious or weird going on. The OP was probably the one who edited as SHE would be the only one who had access to do so besides Michael and/or a mod and none of the logs show anyone other than him editing the post.

The pertinent details (as factual as we know them to be) all still remain so I think the original post and the post as it stands now still tell the SAME story.

I know my response would still have been the same no matter how many other personal details about how badly the OP felt were included or not. Her feelings do not weigh into the legalities of the situation and certainly do not impact my feelings on what the proper course of action should have been.
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Country Kids 09:38 AM 01-28-2013
"If I recall (correct me if I am wrong) but the stories other providers shared about forgetting kids were stories from in the past. I don't recall anyone sharing that they had recently left or forgot a kid."


BC=whether it was in the past or not, no one asked if they had called licensing and if they did what did licensing say? Even if it was in the past shouldn't it have been reported?

One of them actually happened the same week as this one so yes, it was pretty recently.

I guess my point is-if anyone is going to call one person out, why not another?
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youretooloud 09:47 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by blandino:
I would have to disagree with our views on licensing. Obviously licensing varies state-to-state, and while I am very happy that you feel that way about your licensing staff, I definitely think that is not the case for all daycare providers. I have had licensing specialist who have cited us for issues that aren't even a violation of licensing regulations. And who are very much looking to find you at fault when push comes to shove. We Have had some great licensing specialists and some horrible ones. But I completely understand some posters fear about calling licensing.

Around here, licensing will write you up for things that they invent on the spot. I have a friend who was written up because the NEIGHBORS had something dangerous on their property out front. The FRONT yard of the neighbor's house. In our neighborhoods, it's obvious where each yard starts and ends....so, it was clear to the licensing lady that the "dangerous" item was not in her own yard. (it was a plant with spikes btw)

It's like the state chooses the crabbiest people and hires them for this job.

(Off to look up Whiskey.com)
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youretooloud 09:48 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by LaLa1923:
This entire thing bothers me......... What happened to the rest of the post? I seriously think someone deleted the details on purpose. ?..
I think the OP can delete or change any part of the post she wants. She might have chosen to remove part of her post. Why would that bother you?
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Blackcat31 09:58 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
BC=whether it was in the past or not, no one asked if they had called licensing and if they did what did licensing say? Even if it was in the past shouldn't it have been reported?

One of them actually happened the same week as this one so yes, it was pretty recently.

I guess my point is-if anyone is going to call one person out, why not another?
I mut have missed the poster stating the same thing happened to her in the same week.....could you quote the poster or point me in the right direction, I would like to see myself....without having to search through the whole thread. (I am too lazy ) You can PM if you want also
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Michael 10:02 AM 01-28-2013
In don't want to Monday morning quarterback on this but the only person that would have a reason to change it is the OP. Since she is a member that logged out to post it, she obviously was troubled about what had happened and came to us for guidance. Since she has not chimed back in for some time we have no way of knowing what really happened. It's just the mystery of the Incredible Shrinking Post that the forum will be talking about for generations.
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bunnyslippers 10:10 AM 01-28-2013
Ladies, I have refrained from posting on this topic, as I think everything that needed to be said has previously been said. We all have opinions about this incredibly heated topic, and I think the opinions are all perfectly clear.

I think the whole consipiracy angle is a bit ridiculous...if the original post was edited, then it was edited. I certainly don't think it was to cover up the original information, or to hide some important detail.

I also do not see any reason to attack Michael and accuse him of trying to make money. Seriously...this has all just gone a little too far.
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Loveyoustinkyface 10:18 AM 01-28-2013
BlackCat31- Is this what you're referring too?




Originally Posted by Jewels:
I'm sorry this happened, worst nightmare for something like this to happen, I'm glad they were all understanding....

I had a horrible mom episode last weekend, I with my 22 yr old sister took my 2 kids to the dr for flu shots, I got my son, she got my daughter, then we went to the store to get my sons birthday cake, I got my son out, she got my daughter, Then we got home, and I got my son out, and 40 minutes later, my husband asked when my daughter is, I said "I thought she was downstairs with you" he says no, I look at my sister and say "you took her out of the car right?" she said NO, I ran out there and she was screaming! i unbuckled her so fast, ran her in side and laid down with her and I was just bawling, I felt so awful, I do not blame my sister I blame myself for this, its my kid, I just didn't realize, I assumed like everywhere else she took her out, I came inside with my son, and he was super excited to show his dad something, I wasn't feeling good and went to lay down, my husband and son were playing a video game downstairs, and she likes to sit with them down there(shes 3 1/2). I totally blame myself but do get a little mad at my sister as well, you took her out every other time! luckily it was 40 degrees, so not freezing not hot, she had coat and gloves, so she was fine, but still everyday now when we go somewhere, she says "please don't leave me in the car again mommy"

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lovemykidstoo 10:32 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by bunnyslippers:
Ladies, I have refrained from posting on this topic, as I think everything that needed to be said has previously been said. We all have opinions about this incredibly heated topic, and I think the opinions are all perfectly clear.

I think the whole consipiracy angle is a bit ridiculous...if the original post was edited, then it was edited. I certainly don't think it was to cover up the original information, or to hide some important detail.

I also do not see any reason to attack Michael and accuse him of trying to make money. Seriously...this has all just gone a little too far.
I couldn't agree more. I think it's time for a coffee break. Or maybe a rum break LOL!
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LaLa1923 10:50 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by Michael:
In don't want to Monday morning quarterback on this but the only person that would have a reason to change it is the OP. Since she is a member that logged out to post it, she obviously was troubled about what had happened and came to us for guidance. Since she has not chimed back in for some time we have no way of knowing what really happened. It's just the mystery of the Incredible Shrinking Post that the forum will be talking about for generations.

Lol.....

In reply to others on my post-it just looked shady, obviously the op changed it. The details do matter. 5 mins or 30, anyway, I hope that anyone who does something by accident or not- CYA. I hope everything turned out ok for her anyway.
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Blackcat31 11:33 AM 01-28-2013
Originally Posted by Loveyoustinkyface:
BlackCat31- Is this what you're referring too?
I think this is the one CK was referring to. However, what you do with your own children in your own home is 100% completely different that what one does with someone else's child on public property.

Licensing does not mandate us to report ourselves when we mess up as parents but licensing DOES mandate us to report if we out someone else's child in harms way.

BIG difference.
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allsmiles 08:17 PM 01-29-2013
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
Around here, licensing will write you up for things that they invent on the spot. I have a friend who was written up because the NEIGHBORS had something dangerous on their property out front. The FRONT yard of the neighbor's house. In our neighborhoods, it's obvious where each yard starts and ends....so, it was clear to the licensing lady that the "dangerous" item was not in her own yard. (it was a plant with spikes btw)

It's like the state chooses the crabbiest people and hires them for this job.

(Off to look up Whiskey.com)
my licensor called me, i later found out to set up my inital inspection for registration of my daycare home. when i assumed she was a parent, she then went along with it and started a story about needing care.. she came for a surprise visit the next day.. she said because I was enrolling children and it wasnt allowed to have children in care before being licensed.. I told her I am enrolling because i was listed and had been for 2 months..
she straight up LIED and that had forever skewed my opinion of licensing and i do believe they are out to get me.. i know thats not everyone, but i do not think the agency as a whole are on my side
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Lyss 10:36 PM 01-29-2013
Holy craziness Batman! What's happened here? attacking & conspiracy theories oh my!!

Who cares if OP edited it! The gist is there and the first 100 posts can give you the information that is lacking, plus it's over. OP took the advice and reported, from the last post its obvious she's not going to be posting an update (unfortunately). I think she did the right thing by reporting it, not just because it was the right thing to do legally but because (like someone else said) who knows what those parent's will try to pull down the line. Sure they all may be amazing DCPs (and if so I'm jealous) now but maybe one day one of those DCPs will want something or get terminated and use that as leverage or retaliation. She has to protect herself from that as well. We teach the kids to own up to mistakes and learn from them, we should as well.

And the comment Michael is all about money? WTH?! I'm sorry but I have to put my 2cents in on this! It's free to sign up to the forum! I don't have a daycare.com listing but I can post in the members only forum, you just have to be a forum member. BTW Michael you rock! I often feel alone in this DC world, spending all day with kids under 4 and all my friends acting as if I just chill on the couch all day while the kids run amok (seriously! ) but here I can sneak away and have a moment of sanity! Get advice, vent, and just feel like I'm actually supported and not the only provider dealing with all the issues! I'm grateful everyday for this forum (and all you ladies!... and Tom Copeland)!!
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My3cents 04:05 AM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
I think the OP can delete or change any part of the post she wants. She might have chosen to remove part of her post. Why would that bother you?
The original post is sad- I have kept out of it because there was nothing more to say. It has been covered-

but...... if you can remove or delete your own posting why do people always ask the mods to do this? I am guessing one of the mods altered the post, but does this matter? Most of us read the original posting and this has been beaten to death. I am sure the OP feels horrible about this. It's not like she was someone that did this and didn't care or had an "oh well" attitude.

I am curious how the OP made out with all this? Hoping to see an update-
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My3cents 04:07 AM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by bunnyslippers:
Ladies, I have refrained from posting on this topic, as I think everything that needed to be said has previously been said. We all have opinions about this incredibly heated topic, and I think the opinions are all perfectly clear.

I think the whole consipiracy angle is a bit ridiculous...if the original post was edited, then it was edited. I certainly don't think it was to cover up the original information, or to hide some important detail.

I also do not see any reason to attack Michael and accuse him of trying to make money. Seriously...this has all just gone a little too far.
I just pretty much posted the same thing-
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My3cents 04:19 AM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by Lyss:
Holy craziness Batman! What's happened here? attacking & conspiracy theories oh my!!

Who cares if OP edited it! The gist is there and the first 100 posts can give you the information that is lacking, plus it's over. OP took the advice and reported, from the last post its obvious she's not going to be posting an update (unfortunately). I think she did the right thing by reporting it, not just because it was the right thing to do legally but because (like someone else said) who knows what those parent's will try to pull down the line. Sure they all may be amazing DCPs (and if so I'm jealous) now but maybe one day one of those DCPs will want something or get terminated and use that as leverage or retaliation. She has to protect herself from that as well. We teach the kids to own up to mistakes and learn from them, we should as well.

And the comment Michael is all about money? WTH?! I'm sorry but I have to put my 2cents in on this! It's free to sign up to the forum! I don't have a daycare.com listing but I can post in the members only forum, you just have to be a forum member. BTW Michael you rock! I often feel alone in this DC world, spending all day with kids under 4 and all my friends acting as if I just chill on the couch all day while the kids run amok (seriously! ) but here I can sneak away and have a moment of sanity! Get advice, vent, and just feel like I'm actually supported and not the only provider dealing with all the issues! I'm grateful everyday for this forum (and all you ladies!... and Tom Copeland)!!
I just wanted to touch on this....... We as providers need to support one another and not work against each other. That does not mean we can't have our own opinion's but we need to be heart felt on our words because we are all humans after all- I know I don't chill on the couch all day, I work hard, but I take moments to come here and regroup, say hi, vent, get help and advice or knowledge. I often come here and start a post and then don't get to finish it until much later- all depends on how my day is going. I want people to feel they can come here and maybe they won't hear what they want to here and that is ok, keep coming because at some point you will or you may help someone else with out even knowing the impact you made on a real persons live. This is one of my outlets for conversation that is adult oriented. Daycare does get lonely for many of us. We love our kids but just talking to an adult or of an adult topic is nice too- This forum makes me a better provider-

Best-
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Jewels 05:38 AM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I think this is the one CK was referring to. However, what you do with your own children in your own home is 100% completely different that what one does with someone else's child on public property.

Licensing does not mandate us to report ourselves when we mess up as parents but licensing DOES mandate us to report if we out someone else's child in harms way.

BIG difference.

UM HUGE difference, That was my own daughter on a saturday, yeah no reporting ,myself there, that had nothing to do with daycare, and never would as I don't drive my DCK's anywhere, I was just sharing a story, I have shared to numerous people, the situation was completely different.


I didn't mean to quote you blackcat, I meant to quote who you had quoted.
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Tags:feeling bad, field trip - gone bad, safety
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