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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCG Pees On Purpose In Time-Out!
Brustkt 11:58 AM 09-13-2013
I have a 2 3/4 dcg that is very sassy to begin with...seriously talks back to me like she is 13. I have been putting her in TO when she is sassy, and now she is peeing her pants while in TO because she is angry with me. Any advice? Her mom just smiled and said, yes...she did that to me once. 
Leigh 12:02 PM 09-13-2013
Put her in a diaper before time out?
I would honestly just change her pants and put her BACK in time out to finish it...tell her that peeing doesn't get her "released" from time out. And make sure time-out is on a hard surface-not carpet or a chair.
I would honestly just change her pants and put her BACK in time out to finish it...tell her that peeing doesn't get her "released" from time out. And make sure time-out is on a hard surface-not carpet or a chair.
lovemylife 12:09 PM 09-13-2013
Oh my goodness! I have had a child do that. I would put her in time out and she would say you better let me out or I'm going to pee my pants! It's like what in the world? I had to start making her go pee before time out because she would go every single time. It was very frustrating!
butterfly 12:14 PM 09-13-2013
I'm not sure what I'd do in that situation. I'd be kinda ticked.
Is there another form of discipline you could try? Instead of timeouts, remove her favorite toy? redirect to another activity?
Time outs are rare here - they don't seem to be very effective for me.
Just last week I put a little guy in time out and when his time was up. I talked to him and let him join the others. Then he screamed that he wanted to go BACK TO TIME OUT!!!
I don't think my kids get the concept of time out. 
Is there another form of discipline you could try? Instead of timeouts, remove her favorite toy? redirect to another activity?
Time outs are rare here - they don't seem to be very effective for me.
Just last week I put a little guy in time out and when his time was up. I talked to him and let him join the others. Then he screamed that he wanted to go BACK TO TIME OUT!!!
I don't think my kids get the concept of time out.
Leigh 12:18 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by butterfly:
I'm not sure what I'd do in that situation. I'd be kinda ticked.
Is there another form of discipline you could try? Instead of timeouts, remove her favorite toy? redirect to another activity?
Time outs are rare here - they don't seem to be very effective for me.
Just last week I put a little guy in time out and when his time was up. I talked to him and let him join the others. Then he screamed that he wanted to go BACK TO TIME OUT!!! I don't think my kids get the concept of time out.
I agree that time out is not always effective, and sometimes REALLY not effective for some kids. However, at my home, hitting ALWAYS gets a time out. Always. I save it for the serious stuff, or it loses it's effectiveness...you really have to base discipline on each child. I have one that must go to time out nearly once a day. Another who I can just say "please leave this alone" or whatever, and it never happens again.I'm not sure what I'd do in that situation. I'd be kinda ticked.
Is there another form of discipline you could try? Instead of timeouts, remove her favorite toy? redirect to another activity?
Time outs are rare here - they don't seem to be very effective for me.
Just last week I put a little guy in time out and when his time was up. I talked to him and let him join the others. Then he screamed that he wanted to go BACK TO TIME OUT!!!
I don't think my kids get the concept of time out.
Brustkt 12:18 PM 09-13-2013
It IS frustrating! Especially since she is already so sassy! I guess I will make her go potty before a time out. I just feel it loses some effectiveness if its not right after her sassy comment but I am sick of cleaning her and her pee up!
Leigh 12:23 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Brustkt:
It IS frustrating! Especially since she is already so sassy! I guess I will make her go potty before a time out. I just feel it loses some effectiveness if its not right after her sassy comment but I am sick of cleaning her and her pee up!
It is important not to react to the pants peeing...just deal with it matter of factly and continue to deal with things the same way. Even if time out is not working for her, this is not the time to change your discipline program...the peeing must stop before you do that, or she will likely continue to pee herself to get her way.It IS frustrating! Especially since she is already so sassy! I guess I will make her go potty before a time out. I just feel it loses some effectiveness if its not right after her sassy comment but I am sick of cleaning her and her pee up!
Unregistered 12:24 PM 09-13-2013
perhaps tell dcm or dcd that if dcg has another "accident" while in care that they will have to start providing pull-ups until she is accident free for two weeks. put it back on them!
imo sassy behavior like that is almost always a direct result of misguided parenting
imo sassy behavior like that is almost always a direct result of misguided parenting
Willow 12:28 PM 09-13-2013
If she thinks peeing in her pants is a game/power struggle tool she can use to manipulate discipline I'd take the privilege of underwear out of the equation.
I don't care what the reason is behind an accident. If a child is having accidents with any regularity then they belong in diapers.
Let her know that when she wants her underwear back she'll show you by not peeing in them anymore. No anger. No frustration. Just fact.
I don't care what the reason is behind an accident. If a child is having accidents with any regularity then they belong in diapers.
Let her know that when she wants her underwear back she'll show you by not peeing in them anymore. No anger. No frustration. Just fact.
Familycare71 12:36 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
If she thinks peeing in her pants is a game/power struggle tool she can use to manipulate discipline I'd take the privilege of underwear out of the equation.
I don't care what the reason is behind an accident. If a child is having accidents with any regularity then they belong in diapers.
Let her know that when she wants her underwear back she'll show you by not peeing in them anymore. No anger. No frustration. Just fact.
If she thinks peeing in her pants is a game/power struggle tool she can use to manipulate discipline I'd take the privilege of underwear out of the equation.
I don't care what the reason is behind an accident. If a child is having accidents with any regularity then they belong in diapers.
Let her know that when she wants her underwear back she'll show you by not peeing in them anymore. No anger. No frustration. Just fact.
Brustkt 12:47 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Familycare71:
I think I will go this route. Yesterday she was excited to put on a pull-up after her time-out incident and I really don't want that. I think she needs to go back into diapers. Thanks Ladies!
Brustkt 12:48 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
If she thinks peeing in her pants is a game/power struggle tool she can use to manipulate discipline I'd take the privilege of underwear out of the equation.
I don't care what the reason is behind an accident. If a child is having accidents with any regularity then they belong in diapers.
Let her know that when she wants her underwear back she'll show you by not peeing in them anymore. No anger. No frustration. Just fact.
If she thinks peeing in her pants is a game/power struggle tool she can use to manipulate discipline I'd take the privilege of underwear out of the equation.
I don't care what the reason is behind an accident. If a child is having accidents with any regularity then they belong in diapers.
Let her know that when she wants her underwear back she'll show you by not peeing in them anymore. No anger. No frustration. Just fact.
Hit the wrong "quote" button Willow!
Willow 12:49 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Brustkt:
I think I will go this route. Yesterday she was excited to put on a pull-up after her time-out incident and I really don't want that. I think she needs to go back into diapers. Thanks Ladies!
I think I will go this route. Yesterday she was excited to put on a pull-up after her time-out incident and I really don't want that. I think she needs to go back into diapers. Thanks Ladies!
Mom and dad might think it's harsh but I'd ban pull ups in the future. They're way too "fun" and make having accidents more of a novelty than a learning experience
Size18 03:29 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
If she thinks peeing in her pants is a game/power struggle tool she can use to manipulate discipline I'd take the privilege of underwear out of the equation.
I don't care what the reason is behind an accident. If a child is having accidents with any regularity then they belong in diapers.
Let her know that when she wants her underwear back she'll show you by not peeing in them anymore. No anger. No frustration. Just fact.
Ditto.If she thinks peeing in her pants is a game/power struggle tool she can use to manipulate discipline I'd take the privilege of underwear out of the equation.
I don't care what the reason is behind an accident. If a child is having accidents with any regularity then they belong in diapers.
Let her know that when she wants her underwear back she'll show you by not peeing in them anymore. No anger. No frustration. Just fact.
Angelsj 07:25 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Leigh:
It is important not to react to the pants peeing...just deal with it matter of factly and continue to deal with things the same way. Even if time out is not working for her, this is not the time to change your discipline program...the peeing must stop before you do that, or she will likely continue to pee herself to get her way.
I had one of those. After the first time she did it, I put a towel on a metal chair and left her there. I think she was three, so three minutes. She stopped screaming to tell me, "I peed." It is important not to react to the pants peeing...just deal with it matter of factly and continue to deal with things the same way. Even if time out is not working for her, this is not the time to change your discipline program...the peeing must stop before you do that, or she will likely continue to pee herself to get her way.
I shrugged, "You can clean that up when you are done with time out."
A minute later she stopped yelling, sat for her three minutes, helped me clean up, changed her clothes, and never peed again.
Make it a non issue for YOU, but an issue for her.
All that said, I am not sure I would use time out for sassy. I usually just redirect speech or laugh and tell them, "That is not going to happen here, we are going to do this..."
"I am the boss."
No, you are not the boss. This is MY house and here I am the boss.
"I think YOU need to pick those up." Ha!
That is not going to happen. YOU put them there, and you are not going to go to the next fun thing until you pick them up.
Ad nauseum.
Brustkt 07:52 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Angelsj:
I had one of those. After the first time she did it, I put a towel on a metal chair and left her there. I think she was three, so three minutes. She stopped screaming to tell me, "I peed."
I shrugged, "You can clean that up when you are done with time out."
A minute later she stopped yelling, sat for her three minutes, helped me clean up, changed her clothes, and never peed again.
Make it a non issue for YOU, but an issue for her.
All that said, I am not sure I would use time out for sassy. I usually just redirect speech or laugh and tell them, "That is not going to happen here, we are going to do this..."
"I am the boss."
No, you are not the boss. This is MY house and here I am the boss.
"I think YOU need to pick those up." Ha!
That is not going to happen. YOU put them there, and you are not going to go to the next fun thing until you pick them up.
Ad nauseum.
I had one of those. After the first time she did it, I put a towel on a metal chair and left her there. I think she was three, so three minutes. She stopped screaming to tell me, "I peed."
I shrugged, "You can clean that up when you are done with time out."
A minute later she stopped yelling, sat for her three minutes, helped me clean up, changed her clothes, and never peed again.
Make it a non issue for YOU, but an issue for her.
All that said, I am not sure I would use time out for sassy. I usually just redirect speech or laugh and tell them, "That is not going to happen here, we are going to do this..."
"I am the boss."
No, you are not the boss. This is MY house and here I am the boss.
"I think YOU need to pick those up." Ha!
That is not going to happen. YOU put them there, and you are not going to go to the next fun thing until you pick them up.
Ad nauseum.
Yes...I agree with not using TO for her sassy, but I asked her mom what approach they are taking with it and she said TO, so we are trying to be consistent.
It goes something like this:
"Dcg, stop picking your nose please!"
Reply, "I'm not"
Me,; "I'm watching you pick your nose, so please go wash your hands and stop!"
Reply, "No I'm NOT!"
This goes on and on and on, with her finger up her nose the entire time!
Cradle2crayons 12:50 PM 09-14-2013
Originally Posted by Brustkt:
Yes...I agree with not using TO for her sassy, but I asked her mom what approach they are taking with it and she said TO, so we are trying to be consistent.
It goes something like this:
"Dcg, stop picking your nose please!"
Reply, "I'm not"
Me,; "I'm watching you pick your nose, so please go wash your hands and stop!"
Reply, "No I'm NOT!"
This goes on and on and on, with her finger up her nose the entire time!
Well obviously at isn't working well for ya! Yes...I agree with not using TO for her sassy, but I asked her mom what approach they are taking with it and she said TO, so we are trying to be consistent.
It goes something like this:
"Dcg, stop picking your nose please!"
Reply, "I'm not"
Me,; "I'm watching you pick your nose, so please go wash your hands and stop!"
Reply, "No I'm NOT!"
This goes on and on and on, with her finger up her nose the entire time!
I will never sit there and argue with a child.
In the above example yu are giving her way too much power to get on yr nerves.
The child knows she's picking her nose. My response "is something about your nose bothering you? Here's a Kleenex, blow real big for miss Lynn and lets go wash your hands"!
If I learned nothing from my ten year old ADHD child with sensory issues... Is PICK YOUR BATTLES AND DO NOT ARGUE WITH THEM. All that results from that is at you get irritated and they get the result they want by irritating you.
She gets a rise from you and so her reward is to keep doing it.
Maria2013 01:49 PM 09-14-2013
Originally Posted by Leigh:
It is important not to react to the pants peeing..
It is important not to react to the pants peeing..
I would give her TO in an easy to clean spot and let her go ahead and pee her pants, I would change her only after the time out is over showing her it does not effect me at all
Heidi 02:04 PM 09-14-2013
Avoid giving her the opportunity to argue in the first place like PP said. Ignore as much as you can. Use humor when you can to diffuse. Laughing at her sassiness like "yeah, right, like THAT's going to get you anywhere" works around here.
I also take away privileges that are directly related to the "crime". So, abuse a toy, and you loose the privilege of using it.
When timeouts are absolutely your only option, then do as the other PP said and sit her on a towel. If she pees, underreact and make her do as much as she can to fix it.
I also take away privileges that are directly related to the "crime". So, abuse a toy, and you loose the privilege of using it.
When timeouts are absolutely your only option, then do as the other PP said and sit her on a towel. If she pees, underreact and make her do as much as she can to fix it.
Angelsj 02:52 PM 09-14-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Avoid giving her the opportunity to argue in the first place like PP said. Ignore as much as you can. Use humor when you can to diffuse. Laughing at her sassiness like "yeah, right, like THAT's going to get you anywhere" works around here.
I also take away privileges that are directly related to the "crime". So, abuse a toy, and you loose the privilege of using it.
When timeouts are absolutely your only option, then do as the other PP said and sit her on a towel. If she pees, underreact and make her do as much as she can to fix it.
Agreed. I laugh at a lot of their little sassy comments. Avoid giving her the opportunity to argue in the first place like PP said. Ignore as much as you can. Use humor when you can to diffuse. Laughing at her sassiness like "yeah, right, like THAT's going to get you anywhere" works around here.
I also take away privileges that are directly related to the "crime". So, abuse a toy, and you loose the privilege of using it.
When timeouts are absolutely your only option, then do as the other PP said and sit her on a towel. If she pees, underreact and make her do as much as she can to fix it.
"Does that EVER work here?"
Or redirect the speech. Tell them what will work and don't give them what they want until it does.
"I can have a banana." (Yes, I hear that daily) "Try, may I have a banana please?" And no banana until they ask correctly.
I agree with C2C too, don't argue, just handle it. Wipe the kid's nose and take them to wash their hands.
Cradle2crayons 03:12 PM 09-14-2013
Originally Posted by Angelsj:
Agreed. I laugh at a lot of their little sassy comments.
"Does that EVER work here?"
Or redirect the speech. Tell them what will work and don't give them what they want until it does.
"I can have a banana." (Yes, I hear that daily) "Try, may I have a banana please?" And no banana until they ask correctly.
I agree with C2C too, don't argue, just handle it. Wipe the kid's nose and take them to wash their hands.
Agreed. I laugh at a lot of their little sassy comments.
"Does that EVER work here?"
Or redirect the speech. Tell them what will work and don't give them what they want until it does.
"I can have a banana." (Yes, I hear that daily) "Try, may I have a banana please?" And no banana until they ask correctly.
I agree with C2C too, don't argue, just handle it. Wipe the kid's nose and take them to wash their hands.
we used to always say (and its mostly still true)... My daughter would argue with a tree.
lovemylife 03:16 PM 09-14-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
. My daughter would argue with a tree.
Hahaha! Mine too. . My daughter would argue with a tree.