Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Am I in the Wrong?!
MelissaP 06:45 PM 12-17-2018
Seriously though. I have a mom of an almost 2 year old girl, BUT.. she is awful with my cat! Today she pulled and poked at her until she cried (the cat cried). I have been telling mom when she picks up that she has been rough with the cat but today I was at my witts end and informed mom that if the behavior doesn't change, that care will be terminated. Mom goes on about how I haven't mentioned anything.. blah blah blah (I have). And that it doesn't seem "conducive to over coming the issue but instead terminating". Whatever. She told me essentially that I need to keep the cat locked up in the basement while her child is there because her child is still a "baby" and doesn't understand. Oh please, girl will be two on the 12th. And on top of that, the little girl sits at the top of the stairs and waits for the cat to come up and start meowing and torments her on the side of the gate. She has colored on my furniture, ripped half the decorations off of my tree and gets into everything.. I'm so frustrated. She is a mean little thing and I hope mom pulls her. Grr.
Reply
e.j. 07:02 PM 12-17-2018
Originally Posted by MelissaP:
Oh please, girl will be two on the 12th. And on top of that, the little girl sits at the top of the stairs and waits for the cat to come up and start meowing and torments her on the side of the gate. She has colored on my furniture, ripped half the decorations off of my tree and gets into everything.. I'm so frustrated. She is a mean little thing and I hope mom pulls her. Grr.
I don't think it's so much an issue of right or wrong. If this is how you really feel about dcg, I think it's time to term.
Reply
Blackcat31 07:03 PM 12-17-2018
Some pets/DCKs mesh daily just fine but if not I’d choose to separate my pet. For THEIR benefit.

It’s just not always a good mix.

If I make the choice to invite children I did not raise into my home, I’d keep my pet separated.
For their benefit.
Reply
jenboo 07:43 PM 12-17-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Some pets/DCKs mesh daily just fine but if not I’d choose to separate my pet. For THEIR benefit.

It’s just not always a good mix.

If I make the choice to invite children I did not raise into my home, I’d keep my pet separated.
For their benefit.
This.

Also, sounds like you just need to term this little in general. Not everyone meshes
Reply
Josiegirl 01:38 AM 12-18-2018
How is this dcf to work with otherwise? I mean things like paying on time, picking up and dropping off without issue, following your policies?
She might be a 'mean' little thing but she is still only almost 2. In the case of a cat, I'd keep the cat separated too. I have 2 dogs and that'd be harder; my home isn't set up to keep them apart all day.
It sounds like you simply do not like this child and I'm sure your feelings shine through to her. It probably would be best to give them notice because even as adults, we're not going to enjoy every child that walks into our lives.

As far as the other issues, I would rather give my dcks washable markers than crayons and they know they can only color at the kitchen table. Yesterday was the 1st day dcks came and my tree was up. Yes, they tested by pulling off a few ornaments but we calmly put them back on and said how pretty they were to look at; if they continued to take them off we'd have to shut the Christmas lights off and stay in the playroom all day. I have a dcb 18 mo who is constantly chasing my dogs around and getting into everything. After I've tried redirecting him/talking with him/firmly telling him NO without success, then he gets put into the nearest crib or high chair for a couple of minutes. I can tell he's starting to get it because there are other times he'll lay his head on them or pet them too.
Personally, I think these particular issues can be worked through but if you have a true dislike of this child that cannot be overcome, let them go and move on.
Reply
amberrose3dg 03:59 AM 12-18-2018
Originally Posted by MelissaP:
Seriously though. I have a mom of an almost 2 year old girl, BUT.. she is awful with my cat! Today she pulled and poked at her until she cried (the cat cried). I have been telling mom when she picks up that she has been rough with the cat but today I was at my witts end and informed mom that if the behavior doesn't change, that care will be terminated. Mom goes on about how I haven't mentioned anything.. blah blah blah (I have). And that it doesn't seem "conducive to over coming the issue but instead terminating". Whatever. She told me essentially that I need to keep the cat locked up in the basement while her child is there because her child is still a "baby" and doesn't understand. Oh please, girl will be two on the 12th. And on top of that, the little girl sits at the top of the stairs and waits for the cat to come up and start meowing and torments her on the side of the gate. She has colored on my furniture, ripped half the decorations off of my tree and gets into everything.. I'm so frustrated. She is a mean little thing and I hope mom pulls her. Grr.
It is concerning that mom doesn't seem to care like everyone suguested I'd keep the cat away from daycare kids. I kept my cat away for the most part and I had a kid one time yank him up by his tail. He scratched the kid too. This was his way out the door and not during daycare hours. His parents view was he will learn. Term or keep your pet away from the kids. Some people do not teach their children how to treat and respect animals.
Reply
Cat Herder 05:11 AM 12-18-2018
We are not permitted to have animals within reach of daycare kids except during a specific activity aligned with our written curriculum for the day. Inspectors are pretty strict about that.

I am sure it must be frustrating. How hard will it be the keep the cat separated from the playroom?
Reply
Pestle 05:19 AM 12-18-2018
Edit: My state also has a strict no-cats-allowed-with-the-kids rule.

While it's concerning when a toddler is rough with animals, I don't think it's over-the-top behavior, and I think allowing the pet access to the kids and expecting no suffering is doing a disservice to everybody, pets and kids both.

A child who's not yet 2 is a baby. They may be talking and running around and doing other neat big-kid things, but intellectually and emotionally, they are bouncing back and forth between toddlerhood and infancy from moment to moment. They aren't old enough to ignore the fun of pulling ornaments off of a tree or grinding crayon into fabric. Many kids don't have the temperament to do those things, but some do, and I don't think that makes them "mean little things." There are some kids who seem to delight in causing pain! But most of the kids who cause chaos aren't malicious, and even if this kid is, you'll end up with other kids in your daycare who have benign intent yet wreak havoc on a house in which they're permitted access to a Christmas tree, a cat, and a sofa. Read over other threads here to see the horrors inflicted on sofas at daycares around the world.

Can you put a gate at the bottom of the stairs as well so the cat can't get up to the top gate? This cat needs you on her side here, which means making some environmental changes to protect her from the children.
Reply
MelissaP 05:35 AM 12-18-2018
It was just a super bad day yesterday all around. I do keep the cat away, but it was just an awful situation and I had a complete melt down. LOL. I'm good now and ready to move on. She's a good kid, and I set her up for failure yesterday. I know better, I should have made sure the cat was put down stairs before she arrived.

Thank you for all the advise!
Melissa
Reply
Pestle 05:41 AM 12-18-2018
We all have days like that! Some days I know I'm the one who brought the bad attitude that set everybody else off; some days I know which of them brought it; some days I just blame the Devil.
Reply
Ariana 06:10 AM 12-18-2018
Why does the cat keep coming around and why is the child not being supervised more closely? How many kids do you have? I don’t mean to blame you for any of this just thring to understand the situation. I feel like this is a supervision issue personally. I have a 16 month old who is rough with my pets so as soon as they come around I watch closely. As soon as she raises a hand to do something I say “gentle” to remind her I am watching.

If you are not able to supervise closely enough then seperation is a must.
Reply
LittleExplorers 06:30 AM 12-18-2018
If you think she is a mean little thing, cat or not, your care may not be a good fit for her.
Reply
Tags:pets in daycare
Reply Up