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  #1  
Old 06-29-2012, 07:15 AM
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Default Have To Term A Perfect Family, Don't Want To!

What would you all do in this situation???

I have a 10 month old DC infant (one week younger than my DS, so cute together!) that has been with me since 4 months old. He is an EASY baby to care for, I really enjoy having him and his parents have been the ideal customers! They drop off late, pick up early, never pay late, never a conflict ever, just a terrific ideal perfect daycare relationship!

BUT mom is pregnant! In fact, when she delivers her babies will only be 14 months apart. I have another 6 month old DCG who's been with me since she was 10 weeks old. Again, a great family, never done anything wrong, zero reason or desire to term.

So with my son, 10mos, DCB 10 mos, and DCG 6 mos, my infant spots are full. DCM wanted to bring both her babies to me, but I cannot accept another infant under age 2! So, she'll have to leave. I don't want her to!

What would you do if your infant spots were full and a current family had another infant on the way, so close in age! Only 14 months apart, I can't even fudge and say well, he's ALMOST 2...
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Old 06-29-2012, 07:24 AM
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If it were me, I'd term the DCG. Terming a family with one child vs two seems like a better business decision. Either way, it stinks when you have great families and can't keep them!
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Old 06-29-2012, 07:28 AM
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Can you hire someone temporarily so you can keep the family?
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Old 06-29-2012, 07:32 AM
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Can you get a variance in your state to have a temporary lapse in age capacity? That is what I usually do if the new enrollee is from a current family.

I would also maybe let the pregnant mom know that you won't have room for her new one until one of your other kids reaches age 2 and let her find alternate or temporary care until the space opens.

I have done that before too. I can't control when dcm's get pregnant but I have no issue giving them the problem and if they really want space here....they find a way to make it work until I do have the room for both their kids.

I currently have a pregnant mom who will be waiting 6 months for me to have the room for her new one. She hired a family friend to provide services until I can take over.
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Old 06-29-2012, 07:33 AM
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But how could I term DCG when they've done nothing wrong at all?? It was DCB's mom who chose to have her kids SOOOOOOOOO close together. Both families started with me at the very start of my business 6 months ago.

I don't think that would be very nice at all to term DCG for no reason whatsoever, but thanks for your opinion, I appreciate it!

Any other thoughts??? I keep thinking how I could make it work until the boys turn 2 years old...

If new baby is born in November and mom takes 3 months maternity leave (last time she took 4 but I don't know if she can do that again) that would put me at Febuary and the boys would be 17 months. Early June my mom joins me for the summer to help with daycare so then technically my own son could be hers and off my ratio. Then end of Aug. the boys both turn 2.

So it would only be about 4 months that I would be out of ratio and have 4 under age 2 when I'm only supposed to have 3 under 2. I am legally unlicensed so no one checks on me now anyway and I don't think any parents would mind because they all keep asking me if I have room for friend's babies anyway.

I know this isn't the RIGHT answer, but... Thoughts??? Am I just being too attached trying to bend over backward to keep a family I care about and enjoy working with??? Should I just view it as cut and dry business, sorry I don't have a spot, goodbye?

It's just that if she leaves with her 2 babies, I'll fill her spot with a new baby anyway and I just hate to lose them.
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Old 06-29-2012, 07:36 AM
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I don't think I'd have to ask for any variance or anything since I'm legally unlicensed and no one checks on me anyway. But what IF someone complained, what happens if a legally unlicensed Type B home daycare is out of ratio??? I don't want to make a habit of this at all but this seems like a special circumstance. I can't find out what the penalty would be ANYWHERE. Would I get a warning? Would they just tell me to get a license? Or would I be fined or a criminal???!
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Old 06-29-2012, 07:37 AM
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Leave it in their hands. Just explain that you can't take another baby. Maybe they will find a temp solution until you have an opening? In this buisness you never know that could be tomorrow or in 6 months. Don't term them. Wait until the baby is born and see where you are on kids. You kjust never know.....
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Old 06-29-2012, 07:39 AM
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Never mind, just read you aren't licensed.....I've got no clue how the rules/laws work for that circumstance.

Hope you are able to sort something out though!
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Old 06-29-2012, 07:41 AM
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I like everyone's idea about a temporary variance, that lets me know that exceptions CAN be made. But I'm legally unlicensed, so what should I do, just fudge for the few/several months???
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Old 06-29-2012, 07:44 AM
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Do yourself a favor and do not term anyone. At this point all I would say is the same as a pp - you do not have room for the new baby. That takes it out of your hands and allows them to decide what they want to do.
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Old 06-29-2012, 08:02 AM
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What would I do? Get a variance. I have done that before when there is less than a 6 months out-of-age-bracket issue. But you are license exempt, so, that isnt an option.

It is still too soon to even consider terming anyone. Really, I would just tell the pg dcm that currently there is no space for the new baby when her maternity leave is up, but there would be space once her older baby child 2. BUT that so many things can happen, that it may not be an issue after her leave is up anyway (the other child's family could move/job loss/etc). Make sure you have a large-ish deposit for the older child (unless he is going to be attending during maternity leave).

Here's the thing...second time moms are notoriously fickle. Unless she has a super-great paying job or absolutely loves her job....she isn't going to be back after maternity leave. The job & the daycare are the very, very last people to know. I certainly wouldn't term the 6mo, as you cannot guarantee that the pg mom will even go back to work after baby#2 until she has been back to work.
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  #12  
Old 06-29-2012, 08:12 AM
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Pregnant mom swears she's going back to work. They JUST bought a brand new house and she says she HAS to go back to work.

But she COULD just get a nanny which would be way easier on her.
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Old 06-29-2012, 08:18 AM
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I had the exact same problem, except I did have a child I was glad to term (newest, most difficult, but the best family). So that worked out. I have 2 siblings and another dcg.

Now, dcg's mom is pregnant. I told her I couldn't keep him. She said she wanted her daughter to stay with me, and she would make other arrangements for the baby until I had an opening. She didn't even flinch about it. It doesn't hurt to tell them that you loved her son and the family and would like to keep him if she can put the baby elsewhere.

You never know, the first family may move away or something and you could have an unexpected opening for the baby.

FWIW, I am legally unlicensed (we call it listed in Texas). I asked for a variance and they told me they didn't have the power to give a variance. The state congress set the rules and they were the only ones with power to change them. I wrote to all of my state reps but not one single one replied. I wrote their names down for election time.
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Old 06-29-2012, 08:34 AM
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I would be tempted to have one extra kid for 4 months until your mom can help and the boys turn 2 in August. If they did come and check on you, you would probably just have to term someone at that point. I think I would take my chances since you are unlicensed.
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Old 06-29-2012, 08:37 AM
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don't term anyone....hire a short term helper until they hit two or at the very least until your mother comes there. Win/Win for everyone
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  #16  
Old 06-29-2012, 08:52 AM
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I agree, don't term anyone and leave it up to them. Anything can happen between now and then. Your singleton can move or something and you may end up with nothing. Just wait it out and let the expectant parent know that as of right now there is no room but that an opening can always come up in the meantime. I'd ask how long she may stay at home on maternity leave. Maybe that will give you that extra time you need?

Personally I prefer to have singletone families. If they move I lose the income for 2 spots instead of just 1 KWIM?
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  #17  
Old 06-29-2012, 08:56 AM
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I have been in these situations and it always seem to work its self out. Don't term anyone. Just say can't take a baby for x months. Ya don't know what will happen by the time the baby gets here.
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Old 06-29-2012, 09:19 AM
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why do you have to decide now? you still have months to go before the baby is born plus the maternity leave, right?

I would tell mom, only if she asks, that right at this moment you do not have another infant spot but that you can rediscuss it closer to their start date (not the due date). for now, keep everyone for as long as you can!
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  #19  
Old 06-29-2012, 10:20 AM
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I wasn't going to discuss it yet, I agree it's too early to discuss, however mom brought it up and so we had to talk about it.
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Old 06-29-2012, 01:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glenechogirl View Post
I like everyone's idea about a temporary variance, that lets me know that exceptions CAN be made. But I'm legally unlicensed, so what should I do, just fudge for the few/several months???
I wouldn't fudge. I think it's important to stay on the up-and-up. If something were to happen to any of the kids in your care, would you want to be in the position of having to explain why you weren't in compliance?

As others have suggested, I would explain that right now, you don't have an infant opening but that you'd love to keep them as clients. Hopefully, they'll be able and willing to make temporary care arrangements for their new baby.
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  #21  
Old 09-28-2012, 07:06 AM
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I wouldnt term anyone just yet. I have had things like this come up and they just about always work themselves out. Let is know what happens!
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  #22  
Old 09-28-2012, 08:17 AM
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do not term anyone she may decide not to go back to work after the baby is born.

If she really wants you she will find care for the newborn until the older child is 2
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Old 09-28-2012, 08:25 AM
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I would also do nothing.

It is up to DCM to find care until you are able to take another child. With newborns, families are usually willing to pitch in. They are snuggly fun.

"Congratulations DCM! I will hold the next available slot for you it will be available on (DS 2nd B-day)."

I do want to ask if your availability would get better if you were to become licensed? Is that something you would consider? I am allowed 4 under 1 and 6 under 2.
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Old 09-28-2012, 08:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texascare View Post
Leave it in their hands. Just explain that you can't take another baby. Maybe they will find a temp solution until you have an opening? In this buisness you never know that could be tomorrow or in 6 months. Don't term them. Wait until the baby is born and see where you are on kids. You kjust never know.....
you would be surprised what families will do.

I have had and currently have families with one child here with me and a younger child in care elsewhere because they are too young for my program. Mine is because I won't except a certain age and yours is because you don't have a spot.

I would let DCK know this know and let her know that is not because you don't want to, it's because you can't, you simply don't have an opening for a child that age.

You may be surprised that they can get someone to help out for a period of time until a spot does open up.

Then again, you may lose the family, which has also happened to me, but I was ok with it. I know this sounds horrible, but their problem is not my problem. The family knew from the start that I did not take infants, so I am not even sure why they asked me.

In your case, the mom may not know that you can only take so many infants, so now would be a great time to let her know. I think that it is fair...
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Old 09-28-2012, 08:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itlw8 View Post
do not term anyone she may decide not to go back to work after the baby is born.

If she really wants you she will find care for the newborn until the older child is 2
I think we posted at the same time....lol

I love the wording you used...
"Congratulations DCM! I will hold the next available slot for you it will be available on (DS 2nd B-day)."
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  #26  
Old 09-28-2012, 09:45 AM
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I'm Type B Ohio; I am not exactly sure what what would happen being over under 2 ratio except a violation in your file and the state requiring an immediate solution to the problem. I guarantee the state would be back to make sure you fixed the problem.

Here is my issue: I would not want to risk being over the numbers the state regulates and then something happening and in return you get sued or in serious trouble. Its just not worth it to me.

I would do what others have said as far as telling the dcm that you only have room for the older dcc and give her the date the space would be available. Let her decide. That is the most professional approach.

I also applaud you for following regulation even though you are not certified! Good for you!!!

BTW- you cannot go over ratios in Ohio even with a helper. Also, the state has to inspect if a complaint is made certified or not certified.

Last edited by wahmof3; 09-28-2012 at 09:50 AM. Reason: added BTW :)
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Old 09-28-2012, 09:55 AM
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I would tell DCM that you can't take baby until he is 6 months...until then she will have to find alternate care. If she really loves the place her little one is now, she will make arrangements until she can have both children in your caare.
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Old 09-28-2012, 11:25 AM
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Since OP posted this in June...I'm assuming you did something???
Are you willing to let us know what you decided to do?
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Old 09-28-2012, 03:25 PM
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Actually this issue is still up in the air and coming to a head very very soon. DCM has stalled and prolonged giving me an answer as to what she wants to do. I have the openings for both her kids as far as my limit of 6, however it would make my under 2 ratio out of whack, but I was considering it anyway (Yes yes, I know I know...). Anyway, she wants cheap cheap cheap. We sat down to talk and I gave her my final price. She STILL stalled, despite crying while we talked, and I'm still waiting to hear back from her what she wants to do.

So, I stopped waiting on her. She has taken months and months, well, her entire pregnancy really. She keeps saying 2 weeks 2 weeks we'll talk again in 2 weeks but doesn't really happen.

So, this week I've been doing interviews. I just signed a toddler age 2 and have 3 interviews for 1 infant spot so I can pick who I want most. So I've filled the spots this week and as soon as I have contracts and deposits in hand I'll tell her the offer has expired and her spots have been filled as of November 1st.
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Old 09-28-2012, 07:43 PM
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Well, good for you. She can't expect you to just wait forever for her!
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Old 09-29-2012, 07:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glenechogirl View Post
Actually this issue is still up in the air and coming to a head very very soon. DCM has stalled and prolonged giving me an answer as to what she wants to do. I have the openings for both her kids as far as my limit of 6, however it would make my under 2 ratio out of whack, but I was considering it anyway (Yes yes, I know I know...). Anyway, she wants cheap cheap cheap. We sat down to talk and I gave her my final price. She STILL stalled, despite crying while we talked, and I'm still waiting to hear back from her what she wants to do.

So, I stopped waiting on her. She has taken months and months, well, her entire pregnancy really. She keeps saying 2 weeks 2 weeks we'll talk again in 2 weeks but doesn't really happen.

So, this week I've been doing interviews. I just signed a toddler age 2 and have 3 interviews for 1 infant spot so I can pick who I want most. So I've filled the spots this week and as soon as I have contracts and deposits in hand I'll tell her the offer has expired and her spots have been filled as of November 1st.
Good for you!

Honestly had you simply continued to wait around for her, you would have been setting a bad stage with this family then as DCM would think it was always up to her and that she is the one calling the shots since you just waited around.

I hope you get the deposits and contracts in hand soon.

It will be good for this other DCM to see the results of her procrastination.

It wasn't like you didn't give her enough time.
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Old 09-29-2012, 11:32 AM
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^
The same thing happened to me. I had her child for over 2 years and she got pregnant, swore the day she was in labor and everything, that they'd return June 6, 2011 (Baby was born in mid-April). June 6th came and went. I waited til Friday of that week, thinking maybe it was me who got the date wrong. I called that Friday and no return call. I called again that following Monday, and nothing. So, I texted about a week later that I would not hold any spaces. I FINALLY got a call around June 20th informing me that they would not be returning, because she decided to stay home. In the same breath, she told me she took the baby to a church daycare instead, because I didn't have a church-based curriculum. I asked her "So are you working or not? You just said you were going to be staying home" She got quiet, said she had to go. I found out (Not hard, since she's a reporter) that guess what? She returned to work the date she first gave me and never intended on quitting her job. She just wanted that church-based care she slipped and told me about in error. I was very much lied to.

I think that maybe this was similar to what your dcm was going thru, but didn't know how to tell you she wasn't coming back. Stalling is a form of basically quitting w/o the balls to just say that's what they want to do.
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Old 09-29-2012, 05:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texascare View Post
Leave it in their hands. Just explain that you can't take another baby. Maybe they will find a temp solution until you have an opening? In this buisness you never know that could be tomorrow or in 6 months. Don't term them. Wait until the baby is born and see where you are on kids. You kjust never know.....
I agree....I've stressed about similar situations and had a "great family" leave unexpectedly. You really don't know.
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Old 09-29-2012, 05:59 PM
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If you still have their one child and they are the perfect family like you stated back in June why not just keep taking their one child who is a week younger than yours and not take the other baby? Why start two new kids immediately when you really only need to start one who is two like you did and wait to fill another infant interviewed-spot for awhile?
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Old 09-29-2012, 06:30 PM
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If you still have their one child and they are the perfect family like you stated back in June why not just keep taking their one child who is a week younger than yours and not take the other baby? Why start two new kids immediately when you really only need to start one who is two like you did and wait to fill another infant interviewed-spot for awhile?
Because she wants me to continue taking her current baby during her maternity leave, but only as part time. If I do that, I lose a ton of money. I will not take a part time infant, only full time as demand is so high in my area.
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Old 09-29-2012, 08:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BABYLUVER View Post
^
The same thing happened to me. I had her child for over 2 years and she got pregnant, swore the day she was in labor and everything, that they'd return June 6, 2011 (Baby was born in mid-April). June 6th came and went. I waited til Friday of that week, thinking maybe it was me who got the date wrong. I called that Friday and no return call. I called again that following Monday, and nothing. So, I texted about a week later that I would not hold any spaces. I FINALLY got a call around June 20th informing me that they would not be returning, because she decided to stay home. In the same breath, she told me she took the baby to a church daycare instead, because I didn't have a church-based curriculum. I asked her "So are you working or not? You just said you were going to be staying home" She got quiet, said she had to go. I found out (Not hard, since she's a reporter) that guess what? She returned to work the date she first gave me and never intended on quitting her job. She just wanted that church-based care she slipped and told me about in error. I was very much lied to.

I think that maybe this was similar to what your dcm was going thru, but didn't know how to tell you she wasn't coming back. Stalling is a form of basically quitting w/o the balls to just say that's what they want to do.
Maybe she needs to go to church and remember the ninth commandment that states she should not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
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