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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>3 Year Old Is Talking About 'Body Parts'?
Zeke 11:04 AM 04-15-2015
Been doing this a longgg time but haven;t had this EVER

I have 6 kiddos right now.. all are talking & all are repeating etc (except for 1 infant)

My issue is... I have one who was 3 in Dec so almost 3.5 Apparently, mom and child had a talk about body parts. Unfortunately, I catch this kiddo is at least once per day... explaining to the others that they either DO... or do NOT have a VAGINA!

I am at my wits end! I have talked to her and told hr this is something we talk about with our own family and not with your daycare friends etc... but as always... just now, she was telling the whole table at breakfast... that one girl (who had voiced she had to go potty) that 'SHE has a VAGINA!'

I seriously do NOT NOT want these others to take this stuff home with them After explaining and explaining that yes.. Xxxx is a BOY... or Xxxx is a GIRL.... and we only talk about this with mommy etc... I finally today just removed her from the group. For some reason she seems FIXATED on this! LOL

BUT... I DO NOT NOT want it to seem like she is being PUNISHED or reprimanded because she is speaking the facts LOL... KWIM? I don;t want her to feel it is 'dirty' etc... but cannot seem to get her to understand it in inappropriate to talk like this in 'public' so to speak.

Any thoughts or ideas???
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Country Kids 11:22 AM 04-15-2015
No ideas sorry but I have the same thing here. The only thing different is one of the parents talks very openly about these things as well as the child. I try not to act shocked as yes these are body part names but I'm usually not expecting it when it is said.
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Mom o Col 11:58 AM 04-15-2015
Yeah, been there. I had one who not only knew she had a vagina but knew enough to differentiate that part of that area is called a vulva. At 2 yrs old. Not sure this is necessary.
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Zeke 12:25 PM 04-15-2015
I totally agree! It shod be honest and open with them.. AGE APPROPRIATE is the key words IMO... a child asks a question and a parent answers that question honestly and factual but there is no need to answer more than what is ASKED when it comes from a 2 or 3 year old.

Give them more than they ask, and/or can handle and THIS happens! Arg!

Somehow this was made a BIG DEAL at home or it would be no different than a eyebrow or big toe! Ive never had a kid so fixated ON THAT WORD- ever.
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Josiegirl 02:43 PM 04-15-2015
I have a dcg, little older than yours but she's the same way. The dcks were talking about their past puking escapades at the table one day and I spoke up and said 'there are some things we don't discuss while we're eating and this is one of them'. Vagina girl spoke up and said 'yeh, and there are a lot of words we don't say too, like stupid, poop, pee, and vagina.' Seems like she needs to throw it into a conversation at least twice a week(she's slowed down some in her fascination I guess Lol).
She had to go to the doctor awhile back, for some kind of urinary problem or something(can't remember) and you know how they are at the drs., they're checking ears, and everything else. She spoke up and said 'I'm not here for my ears, I'm here for my vagina'. She's something else, that one.
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Unregistered 03:17 PM 04-15-2015
Haha! I have to agree with the parents who taught the child what a vulva is! I can't stand that most people don't know when they say vagina, they are actually referring to the vulva. It's so sad that grown women don't know what their body parts are. I taught my kids. I don't treat it as a bad thing. How sad that the word vagina is associated with pee, poop, and stupid. Hmm no mention of men's body parts being negative!!
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Unregistered 04:28 PM 04-15-2015
guilty parent here- my kid is one of those going through the grocery store pointing out everyone who has a penis and those who have a vagina. We are also very detailed in the anatomy lessons. She's had some health issues, so at 3 she knows vulva, vagina, and even labia so she can tell me when something is bothering her. I see nothing wrong with using proper names, however, I do tell her very matter of fact that it's not something we need to talk about in the grocery store, dinner table, etc.
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Controlled Chaos 06:47 PM 04-15-2015
We only talk about private parts in the bathroom.
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Unregistered 07:23 PM 04-15-2015
Physicians and counsellors will tell you that children SHOULD know the actual language for their body parts even at that age. My son is 3 and has known for over a year he has a penis.
I started calling it pee pee, however, was explained that that is NOT correct. Children need to know what their body parts are actually called. If they do not and we call them these nicknames then they can not explain
Accurately when they have been abused. And it also teaches shame and them not being fully comfortable with what their body parts are and that is irresponsible. The parent is doing the right thing. You may not feel comfortable with the child talking about this, but they are a child they talk about everything and do not know. If my child's provider or daycare teacher came to me and tried to tell me my child shouldn't be talking about these things or that they shouldn't know or call their parts what they technical name is for it, then I would assume that teacher is ignorant and needs a little more education. Just my opinion.
Children not knowing what they should know about their body part plays a big role in children being sexually abused.

I had a 4-5 year old dcb say penis to another child in my care a while back and it took me back and I told that child do not say that. After learning what I know from professionals that deal with children and sexually abused victims, I know that I was totally wrong and did the wrong thing by basically shaming that child. And my mistake could have caused issues with that child now because he was fully comfortable with himself and his knowledge of his parts and my ignorance at the time intervened with that and that was not right nor my place. Just because I was uncomfortable with calling a body part what it accually is, because as kids some of us are taught pee pee, tee tee and things like that to be more "discreet" when that is not correct. I do not want my child to feel uncomfortable with himself, so I teach him correctly and if someone or a provider intervened with my way of parenting my child, I'd be looking for a better provider.
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Controlled Chaos 10:15 PM 04-15-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Physicians and counsellors will tell you that children SHOULD know the actual language for their body parts even at that age. My son is 3 and has known for over a year he has a penis.
I started calling it pee pee, however, was explained that that is NOT correct. Children need to know what their body parts are actually called. If they do not and we call them these nicknames then they can not explain
Accurately when they have been abused. And it also teaches shame and them not being fully comfortable with what their body parts are and that is irresponsible. The parent is doing the right thing. You may not feel comfortable with the child talking about this, but they are a child they talk about everything and do not know. If my child's provider or daycare teacher came to me and tried to tell me my child shouldn't be talking about these things or that they shouldn't know or call their parts what they technical name is for it, then I would assume that teacher is ignorant and needs a little more education. Just my opinion.
Children not knowing what they should know about their body part plays a big role in children being sexually abused.

I had a 4-5 year old dcb say penis to another child in my care a while back and it took me back and I told that child do not say that. After learning what I know from professionals that deal with children and sexually abused victims, I know that I was totally wrong and did the wrong thing by basically shaming that child. And my mistake could have caused issues with that child now because he was fully comfortable with himself and his knowledge of his parts and my ignorance at the time intervened with that and that was not right nor my place. Just because I was uncomfortable with calling a body part what it accually is, because as kids some of us are taught pee pee, tee tee and things like that to be more "discreet" when that is not correct. I do not want my child to feel uncomfortable with himself, so I teach him correctly and if someone or a provider intervened with my way of parenting my child, I'd be looking for a better provider.
I am a believer in using the correct terms for body parts but they don't need to talk about them all day. Redirection is appropriate. I can't let my 3yo drink out of our wonder woman cup or he will talk about her bagina all through dinner.
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Unregistered 01:11 AM 04-16-2015
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos:
I am a believer in using the correct terms for body parts but they don't need to talk about them all day. Redirection is appropriate. I can't let my 3yo drink out of our wonder woman cup or he will talk about her bagina all through dinner.
😂😂 Kids!!
And I definitely do agree with you. I just would not want someone whether it be a teacher, friend, or family member making me feel as if I'm doing something wrong by teaching my child something for the betterment of their well being or that they're wrong for speaking on it in what others may feel not the right time or place. Especially when children just do not get that they can not talk about some things freely at any given time.
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Josiegirl 02:50 AM 04-16-2015
Unreg, I doubt any of us disagree with you about this. I 100% agree instead of fooling around with all the slang terms, teach 'em the right way. But as was mentioned, a time and place for everything.
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itlw8 10:18 AM 04-16-2015
I do not use slang words but I really do hate when parents teach the child vagina when they are talking about going to the bathroom and not having babies. two different body parts. I would say to mom I see you are teaching your child about having babies.Did you know your child thinks girls pee with their vagina ????
growing up we used the word crotch for everything in that area just like the crotch of your pants or the crotch of a tree. It worked with out being a slang word or going into ALL the body parts girls have
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Unregistered 10:18 AM 04-16-2015
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Unreg, I doubt any of us disagree with you about this. I 100% agree instead of fooling around with all the slang terms, teach 'em the right way. But as was mentioned, a time and place for everything.
I do agree as well with a time and place and as CC stated, "redirection". Maybe I didnnot read through previous posters fully and took it as some were saying that kids shouldn't be knowing those things as it's not appropriate, when it is.

Side story: not really relevant too much, just kind of silly and funny, my husband grew up with his mother calling his and his siblings parts, "cat thing." 😳
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mduck 09:27 PM 04-20-2015
Sorry but I don't fully agree with most. I think age appropriateness should be factored in until a child is socially responsible to handle the words. There are many words that I use (I don't cuss, so not talking about those words) that I do not let my children know/use until they are aware of how it affects others. If you do decide to share detail info with your children, I feel it should also be given with strict instructions to NOT share with other children (adults, ok fine-but not other children).

We don't do Santa or the Easter bunny BUT I teach, teach, teach, my children they WILL be in severe trouble if they share that with other children because as I tell them, "it's up to their own mommy and daddy to decide WHEN to share that info with their own children, not you or me." I feel the same way about private parts, etc.

We've had urinary issues and my children do just fine telling me if anything is wrong by simply using the terms, front bottom and back bottom. When they are older, they'll get the official names. Not bashing anyone who chooses the real names (my sister is in the medical field and tells her children EVERYTHING, that's her call). I just think it is responsible parenting to teach your child not to share with other children.
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mduck 07:50 AM 04-21-2015
If you as an adult would think it inappropriate to be sitting around a dinner table with dinner guests, or in the office, or at the grocery store to just say to your dinner guest, boss, or cashier, "Hello, I have a vagina!" I think it's inappropriate to teach children that it's ok for them to do it. How is that logical? That is private/personal info that should not be shared in such a way. I think that children can understand to NOT share that kind of info with peers, but that it is ok if there is something WRONG or if there is a question to talk to a safe adult about it.

And if you think, "Well they are young and innocent... " at what point do you no longer consider them young and innocent? At 5, 8, 11, 15, 18? Teaching them appropriateness along with teaching them truths goes a long way.

Our body parts are NOT shameful, but our actions can be.

If you don't feel the same way, then you obviously have the right to do so. But I hope my children don't run into your children. Actually we would probably find ourselves smiling and talking to one another on some playground somewhere and our children happily playing together until...well anyhow.
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