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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Are all new dc parents like this?
Shell 05:09 AM 08-20-2014
I just had two new families start. Both parents of infants, both not working full time, both crying dcm's first day saying they can't stand being apart, lots if drop off drama. Guess what?! By day two, both kids here open to close, both in workout clothes, both have manicures and pedicures. What happened to that dcm that just couldn't part from their sweet little cherub?!
cheerfuldom 05:19 AM 08-20-2014
I know. that is why so many of us do contracted hours. It is rare that a parent wont leave a child here open to close. However, I have three families right now that all pickup their kids right after work! this has never happened before. Most families will just push and push for more time. To me, 10 hours is too long for children and this is why I work for teachers......shorter days for me and them.
cara041083 06:29 AM 08-20-2014
Oh ya I know what you mean. I have 2 parents that get random days off and still bring them but always stand in my door way saying "Oh I feel so bad leaving her/him." um then why are you lol. I just always look and smile.
Crazy8 06:43 AM 08-20-2014
It usually takes mine about 2 weeks to get to that point, not 2 days, LOL! But I haven't started a new family in almost 2 years so I am sure its getting worse.
KIDZRMYBIZ 07:14 AM 08-20-2014
Yep, this is the world we live in now. I started a new baby yesterday. It was his very first day of daycare...and he was the first one in and the last one out. Dcd commented on it at pick-up, too. I think it bothered him.
It's just the way it is now. I had to make my peace with it a few years ago. It was just eating me up, making me so mad and sad, as I don't understand it at all. My dh said something that made me let it go. He said, "It's a good thing, Honey. Since they spend so much time with you there are just a lot of little OurLastNames out there, making the world a better place."
It's just the way it is now. I had to make my peace with it a few years ago. It was just eating me up, making me so mad and sad, as I don't understand it at all. My dh said something that made me let it go. He said, "It's a good thing, Honey. Since they spend so much time with you there are just a lot of little OurLastNames out there, making the world a better place."
Heidi 07:40 AM 08-20-2014
One way I've curbed some of this is to limit each child's day to 9.5 hours, unless there are extenuating circumstances. I also do contracted hours. One of the first things I ask in a phone interview is what hours they need care, and then I dig.
I had one mom say she needed 6am-4pm. I said "oh, I don't star that early". Then, she said "well, dad doesn't work until 8, I guess he could get them ready and bring them at 7:45 or so". They live less than a mile from me, btw. So, it's not exactly out of the way.
Yeah...how about we let dad be a parent? Great idea!
I had one mom say she needed 6am-4pm. I said "oh, I don't star that early". Then, she said "well, dad doesn't work until 8, I guess he could get them ready and bring them at 7:45 or so". They live less than a mile from me, btw. So, it's not exactly out of the way.
Yeah...how about we let dad be a parent? Great idea!
NightOwl 07:51 AM 08-20-2014
This still frustrates me to no end. I talked about it in a thread a few weeks ago and most commented that "it's none of my business" if dcps are off work. 
Maybe not, but it still bugs me that they're leaving their children at least once or twice per week while they're off all day, but still whine about how hard it is to leave them. Then they pick up with fresh manicures and a new do. Yeah, not TOO hard apparently. I'm grateful for the full house, don't get me wrong. But as a mom, I would never leave my child in childcare for 10+ hours per day twice a week for "me" time.
Maybe not, but it still bugs me that they're leaving their children at least once or twice per week while they're off all day, but still whine about how hard it is to leave them. Then they pick up with fresh manicures and a new do. Yeah, not TOO hard apparently. I'm grateful for the full house, don't get me wrong. But as a mom, I would never leave my child in childcare for 10+ hours per day twice a week for "me" time.
daycare 08:00 AM 08-20-2014
I cant even begin to tell you how many parents say during the interview oh well I get off at 2, so I will be right over at 245 when nap time ends....
they do it the first day and then once they realize they have a good deal they never do it again....kid gets picked up at 530.
they do it the first day and then once they realize they have a good deal they never do it again....kid gets picked up at 530.
Blackcat31 08:11 AM 08-20-2014
Families do what works for them.
We don't know that just because we limit the hours they are here that the parent is actually going home and spending quality time with their child. They may simply pass them off to another caregiver or turn on the TV.
I decided a long time ago that I would do what was best for ME and MY family and not expect, require or judge another family by MY beliefs or thoughts about parenting.
Many providers complain about this and in total honesty, I don't feel we have that right.
Just because we wouldn't do something doesn't mean it's not okay for others. Especially since we don't know their home life or situations.
We are providers for MANY different reasons and on the same note, parents parent the way they do for just as many different reasons.
It is much easier on you (general you) as a provider, a parent and a person to just do what YOU need to do as far as rules/policies and not let other people's parenting decisions/styles bother you.
We don't know that just because we limit the hours they are here that the parent is actually going home and spending quality time with their child. They may simply pass them off to another caregiver or turn on the TV.
I decided a long time ago that I would do what was best for ME and MY family and not expect, require or judge another family by MY beliefs or thoughts about parenting.
Many providers complain about this and in total honesty, I don't feel we have that right.
Just because we wouldn't do something doesn't mean it's not okay for others. Especially since we don't know their home life or situations.
We are providers for MANY different reasons and on the same note, parents parent the way they do for just as many different reasons.
It is much easier on you (general you) as a provider, a parent and a person to just do what YOU need to do as far as rules/policies and not let other people's parenting decisions/styles bother you.
daycare 08:19 AM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Families do what works for them.
We don't know that just because we limit the hours they are here that the parent is actually going home and spending quality time with their child. They may simply pass them off to another caregiver or turn on the TV.
I decided a long time ago that I would do what was best for ME and MY family and not expect, require or judge another family by MY beliefs or thoughts about parenting.
Many providers complain about this and in total honesty, I don't feel we have that right.
Just because we wouldn't do something doesn't mean it's not okay for others. Especially since we don't know their home life or situations.
We are providers for MANY different reasons and on the same note, parents parent the way they do for just as many different reasons.
It is much easier on you (general you) as a provider, a parent and a person to just do what YOU need to do as far as rules/policies and not let other people's parenting decisions/styles bother you.
LIke you, I could care less what my parents are doing while their kids are here. I have plenty of families that have their kids here all day with me and they don't even work.Families do what works for them.
We don't know that just because we limit the hours they are here that the parent is actually going home and spending quality time with their child. They may simply pass them off to another caregiver or turn on the TV.
I decided a long time ago that I would do what was best for ME and MY family and not expect, require or judge another family by MY beliefs or thoughts about parenting.
Many providers complain about this and in total honesty, I don't feel we have that right.
Just because we wouldn't do something doesn't mean it's not okay for others. Especially since we don't know their home life or situations.
We are providers for MANY different reasons and on the same note, parents parent the way they do for just as many different reasons.
It is much easier on you (general you) as a provider, a parent and a person to just do what YOU need to do as far as rules/policies and not let other people's parenting decisions/styles bother you.
As long as they follow my rules and pay on time, I don't care what you do.
BUT as I stated in my other post, All of my parents PLAN an early pick up and then never follow through with it...
Blackcat31 08:32 AM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
LIke you, I could care less what my parents are doing while their kids are here. I have plenty of families that have their kids here all day with me and they don't even work.
As long as they follow my rules and pay on time, I don't care what you do.
BUT as I stated in my other post, All of my parents PLAN an early pick up and then never follow through with it...
That part, I WOULD have an issue with but because it affects ME. LIke you, I could care less what my parents are doing while their kids are here. I have plenty of families that have their kids here all day with me and they don't even work.
As long as they follow my rules and pay on time, I don't care what you do.
BUT as I stated in my other post, All of my parents PLAN an early pick up and then never follow through with it...
I change what things bother me and the rest, I try to leave alone because I can't do anything about it so why take on the extra stress...kwim?
daycare 08:36 AM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
That part, I WOULD have an issue with but because it affects ME.
I change what things bother me and the rest, I try to leave alone because I can't do anything about it so why take on the extra stress...kwim?
it does not bother me one bit, but it does happen. If I get more time with the kid great, as long as I am paid I don't care. Put more money in my pocket please.That part, I WOULD have an issue with but because it affects ME.
I change what things bother me and the rest, I try to leave alone because I can't do anything about it so why take on the extra stress...kwim?
I think it was Nan that said to me that you will hardly ever find a parent that does not say one thing about pick up time and then do another especially when they say I am going to pick up early.
cheerfuldom 08:55 AM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
One way I've curbed some of this is to limit each child's day to 9.5 hours, unless there are extenuating circumstances. I also do contracted hours. One of the first things I ask in a phone interview is what hours they need care, and then I dig.
I had one mom say she needed 6am-4pm. I said "oh, I don't star that early". Then, she said "well, dad doesn't work until 8, I guess he could get them ready and bring them at 7:45 or so". They live less than a mile from me, btw. So, it's not exactly out of the way.
Yeah...how about we let dad be a parent? Great idea!
oh yeah. definitely contracted hours are the way to go. I ask where the parents work and what their shift is and make sure I know what times they really NEED. I was so livid the first time several years ago that I found out a mom had been using max hours and dad didnt even go into work till 9am but did not want to deal with the baby in the morning.....my word, she was a delightful kid, it really wouldnt have been hard at all.One way I've curbed some of this is to limit each child's day to 9.5 hours, unless there are extenuating circumstances. I also do contracted hours. One of the first things I ask in a phone interview is what hours they need care, and then I dig.
I had one mom say she needed 6am-4pm. I said "oh, I don't star that early". Then, she said "well, dad doesn't work until 8, I guess he could get them ready and bring them at 7:45 or so". They live less than a mile from me, btw. So, it's not exactly out of the way.
Yeah...how about we let dad be a parent? Great idea!
racemom 08:59 AM 08-20-2014
I really try not to care if the parents are home and kids at daycare, but I hate when they stand there saying how much they miss them. I have one dcm, child open to close every day, who travels frequently. Every time she is going out of town she goes on and on about how much she will miss dcb, then when she gets back she gets time off work to make up for travel, weekend, etc. time she was away. He never stays home with her, her excuse---I have so much to do at home to make up for being gone! I have permanent teeth marks in my tongue from biting it so hard and often! Sorry for the rant.
GabsKids 09:28 AM 08-20-2014
When I first started, this would bother me also, but quickly learned that if I worried about what all if these parents were doing all day, I would drive myself insane. So I realized, it really doesn't matter. As long as they are dropped off/picked up at their contracted times I didn't care. If they need a little extra time for a meeting or an appointment they ask ahead of time and I am fine with it. Now if it became a habit, I would say something.
When I worked outside of the home I couldn't wait to have a day off to spend with my son. When my daughter was born my husband worked days and I worked evenings to limit childcare. But to each their own. BC is absolutely right. Every parent is different and every families situation is different.
When I worked outside of the home I couldn't wait to have a day off to spend with my son. When my daughter was born my husband worked days and I worked evenings to limit childcare. But to each their own. BC is absolutely right. Every parent is different and every families situation is different.
drseuss 10:01 AM 08-20-2014
I think more parents are like this now than are not. I have one mom who teaches so she is home all summer. She still drives 30 miles each way twice a day to bring the baby here, goback home and do whatever, and pick him up. Unreal. That's 120 miles. 
KiddieCahoots 10:29 AM 08-20-2014
It's the act that gets us all bent!
Why act like you miss your child desperately, then leave them with us all day out of convenience?
Yay.....us daycare providers, we have no idea what some parents are up to, and all fell off the turnip truck yesterday!
.................
Had a mom once that left her baby with me while she vacationed for a week with her family at the beach. Of course she conveniently told me on Friday, the last day of her vacation. Not that I could've told her she couldn't do that, but she obviously knew enough herself that people wouldn't agree with her decision to tell me on Friday.
I'm glad that I chose to be a different type of parent to my children.
Why act like you miss your child desperately, then leave them with us all day out of convenience?
Yay.....us daycare providers, we have no idea what some parents are up to, and all fell off the turnip truck yesterday!
.................Had a mom once that left her baby with me while she vacationed for a week with her family at the beach. Of course she conveniently told me on Friday, the last day of her vacation. Not that I could've told her she couldn't do that, but she obviously knew enough herself that people wouldn't agree with her decision to tell me on Friday.
I'm glad that I chose to be a different type of parent to my children.
hsdcmama 11:11 AM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
That part, I WOULD have an issue with but because it affects ME.
I change what things bother me and the rest, I try to leave alone because I can't do anything about it so why take on the extra stress...kwim?
Agreed. I have contracted hours with each family, with late fees in place if the kids are not picked up on time (unless the parents have made previous arrangements with me). I also charge by the day, not by the hour, and parents must pay for their contracted days whether their child attends or not. So I tell them if their child is contracted to come on X day and the parent happens to have a day off, go ahead and bring Little Johnny over to play, you are paying for it either way!That part, I WOULD have an issue with but because it affects ME.
I change what things bother me and the rest, I try to leave alone because I can't do anything about it so why take on the extra stress...kwim?
nannyde 11:15 AM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by GabsKids:
When I first started, this would bother me also, but quickly learned that if I worried about what all if these parents were doing all day, I would drive myself insane. So I realized, it really doesn't matter. As long as they are dropped off/picked up at their contracted times I didn't care. If they need a little extra time for a meeting or an appointment they ask ahead of time and I am fine with it. Now if it became a habit, I would say something.
When I worked outside of the home I couldn't wait to have a day off to spend with my son. When my daughter was born my husband worked days and I worked evenings to limit childcare. But to each their own. BC is absolutely right. Every parent is different and every families situation is different.
I think the problem is that although some families are different in this type of parenting, the truth is that the vast majority BY FAR are the same. I would guess that the percentage of parents who would choose time with their child over using daycare when the price is the same is about five... maybe ten percent. When I first started, this would bother me also, but quickly learned that if I worried about what all if these parents were doing all day, I would drive myself insane. So I realized, it really doesn't matter. As long as they are dropped off/picked up at their contracted times I didn't care. If they need a little extra time for a meeting or an appointment they ask ahead of time and I am fine with it. Now if it became a habit, I would say something.
When I worked outside of the home I couldn't wait to have a day off to spend with my son. When my daughter was born my husband worked days and I worked evenings to limit childcare. But to each their own. BC is absolutely right. Every parent is different and every families situation is different.
I think most parents who don't use max hours have a time or money deal that makes it so that it's more convenient or less expensive in gas or wear and tear on the car for them to pick up before they have to.
All things being equal the percentage of parents who choose time with their kid when they could have the child in care is a very small percentage imho
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:18 AM 08-20-2014
Parents that value time with their children don't fuss about it when they have an option not to and actually be with their child. They find ways to make it happen. I pretend like I don't hear them when they say that and leave their child with me because I don't like to pat people's read ends to make them feel good about themselves.
If I said something, it would be, "Oh, little Bobby would love to spend the day with you as well. I am sure he will be SO STOKED to do that on your next day off instead of daycare!!!" I have done that before. Never heard another peep from that parent. But, I really just don't want to engage in that conversation so I don't these days. I become so busy with doing something else when they start that.
If I said something, it would be, "Oh, little Bobby would love to spend the day with you as well. I am sure he will be SO STOKED to do that on your next day off instead of daycare!!!" I have done that before. Never heard another peep from that parent. But, I really just don't want to engage in that conversation so I don't these days. I become so busy with doing something else when they start that.
GabsKids 12:14 PM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I think the problem is that although some families are different in this type of parenting, the truth is that the vast majority BY FAR are the same. I would guess that the percentage of parents who would choose time with their child over using daycare when the price is the same is about five... maybe ten percent.
I think most parents who don't use max hours have a time or money deal that makes it so that it's more convenient or less expensive in gas or wear and tear on the car for them to pick up before they have to.
All things being equal the percentage of parents who choose time with their kid when they could have the child in care is a very small percentage imho
Yes, that is very true. When I first started my policy was parents only had to pay when their child attended. Meaning if the child was sick or parents had off, and they kept their child home, they didn't have to pay. For some it was great. They very rarely were absent. For others, it was a nightmare. I had full time kids missing at least 3-5 days per month and I didn't get paid for those days. So I implemented you pay your contracted days whether your child is here or not. Does that influence their decision to bring their child even if they are off? Yes, for most I think it does. They are thinking, I paid, so they are going. I think the problem is that although some families are different in this type of parenting, the truth is that the vast majority BY FAR are the same. I would guess that the percentage of parents who would choose time with their child over using daycare when the price is the same is about five... maybe ten percent.
I think most parents who don't use max hours have a time or money deal that makes it so that it's more convenient or less expensive in gas or wear and tear on the car for them to pick up before they have to.
All things being equal the percentage of parents who choose time with their kid when they could have the child in care is a very small percentage imho
It is sad to me, that just because they paid that day, that they don't spend it with their child. Or that they keep them at daycare 10+ hours per day when they really don't have to. But there is not much I can control about how they parent their kids.
preschoolteacher 12:29 PM 08-20-2014
I had a mom who would spend 20 minutes dragging out drop-off with her whining child. The kid came on days Mom wasn't working. She'd tell me she was off to the movies or lunch or whatever, get her kid all worked up saying "I'm going to miss you," and then would leave finally. It drove me crazy!
NightOwl 12:37 PM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
It's the act that gets us all bent!
Why act like you miss your child desperately, then leave them with us all day out of convenience?
Yay.....us daycare providers, we have no idea what some parents are up to, and all fell off the turnip truck yesterday!.................
Had a mom once that left her baby with me while she vacationed for a week with her family at the beach. Of course she conveniently told me on Friday, the last day of her vacation. Not that I could've told her she couldn't do that, but she obviously knew enough herself that people wouldn't agree with her decision to tell me on Friday.
I'm glad that I chose to be a different type of parent to my children.
And there it is. It's the act. It's the going on and on and missing my sweet pookie and then going to get their hair done or picking up in the same pajamas they dropped off in. I could care less what they do with their time. But don't lie straight to my face about how you miss spending time with your child and how hard it is for you when you're not doing anything at all to change it.It's the act that gets us all bent!
Why act like you miss your child desperately, then leave them with us all day out of convenience?
Yay.....us daycare providers, we have no idea what some parents are up to, and all fell off the turnip truck yesterday!
.................Had a mom once that left her baby with me while she vacationed for a week with her family at the beach. Of course she conveniently told me on Friday, the last day of her vacation. Not that I could've told her she couldn't do that, but she obviously knew enough herself that people wouldn't agree with her decision to tell me on Friday.
I'm glad that I chose to be a different type of parent to my children.
NightOwl 12:39 PM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I think the problem is that although some families are different in this type of parenting, the truth is that the vast majority BY FAR are the same. I would guess that the percentage of parents who would choose time with their child over using daycare when the price is the same is about five... maybe ten percent.
I think most parents who don't use max hours have a time or money deal that makes it so that it's more convenient or less expensive in gas or wear and tear on the car for them to pick up before they have to.
All things being equal the percentage of parents who choose time with their kid when they could have the child in care is a very small percentage imho
AgreedI think the problem is that although some families are different in this type of parenting, the truth is that the vast majority BY FAR are the same. I would guess that the percentage of parents who would choose time with their child over using daycare when the price is the same is about five... maybe ten percent.
I think most parents who don't use max hours have a time or money deal that makes it so that it's more convenient or less expensive in gas or wear and tear on the car for them to pick up before they have to.
All things being equal the percentage of parents who choose time with their kid when they could have the child in care is a very small percentage imho
Cat Herder 01:19 PM 08-20-2014
I see this more than not, now. Sometimes it is in the kids best interest. 
Nuff said... 
but I will continue on as always...
If you don't want your mellow harshed, move along, now.
What is bothering me lately are the ones who do this then say things like "I wish I could afford to stay home, you are so lucky", "have fun playing with the kids! I'm jealous.", "it must be nice to have time to clean your house and cook at work, I have to put in another days work AFTER I get home" or "that sounds so fun!! I wish I could hang out with you guys all day". Really?
1. I planned, saved and sacrificed to be able to do this. Before conception. It was not luck.
2. I don't play with kids. I set up opportunities for the kids to learn life skills from play. If you envy my job, give it a go. You will most likely save money by not having to pay me to do it and following a better planned budget. Try it.
3. I am never really off work. Never. (well, until my kids are out and self supporting) I care for your kids during the day and mine the rest of the time. I'd bet your house does not have 11 kids through it daily. I prepared 4,320 meals so far this year. (and keep the tax books to know that number off hand.)
4. It is condescending unless you are trying to get your kid excited by pretending to talk to me about our day. "Fun" stuff with a group of infants and toddlers is Hard Work. Give it a try. I double dog dare you.
Steps down from soap box.
Nuff said... but I will continue on as always... If you don't want your mellow harshed, move along, now.
What is bothering me lately are the ones who do this then say things like "I wish I could afford to stay home, you are so lucky", "have fun playing with the kids! I'm jealous.", "it must be nice to have time to clean your house and cook at work, I have to put in another days work AFTER I get home" or "that sounds so fun!! I wish I could hang out with you guys all day". Really?
1. I planned, saved and sacrificed to be able to do this. Before conception. It was not luck.
2. I don't play with kids. I set up opportunities for the kids to learn life skills from play. If you envy my job, give it a go. You will most likely save money by not having to pay me to do it and following a better planned budget. Try it.
3. I am never really off work. Never. (well, until my kids are out and self supporting) I care for your kids during the day and mine the rest of the time. I'd bet your house does not have 11 kids through it daily. I prepared 4,320 meals so far this year. (and keep the tax books to know that number off hand.)
4. It is condescending unless you are trying to get your kid excited by pretending to talk to me about our day. "Fun" stuff with a group of infants and toddlers is Hard Work. Give it a try. I double dog dare you.
Steps down from soap box.
bananas 02:56 PM 08-20-2014
One mom is like this - she'll take the day to herself to catch up on laundry, get her hair done...my friend often comments how she sees so-and-so's mom grocery shopping at the store in the middle of the day. She also works really wonky hours too. I have DCB from 8am-5:30pm though... but I have daily rates! So if the child comes, I get paid for that day....so it really doesn't matter to me what the parents are doing!
Shell 03:28 PM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I see this more than not, now. Sometimes it is in the kids best interest. Nuff said... but I will continue on as always...
If you don't want your mellow harshed, move along, now.
What is bothering me lately are the ones who do this then say things like "I wish I could afford to stay home, you are so lucky", "have fun playing with the kids! I'm jealous.", "it must be nice to have time to clean your house and cook at work, I have to put in another days work AFTER I get home" or "that sounds so fun!! I wish I could hang out with you guys all day". Really?
1. I planned, saved and sacrificed to be able to do this. Before conception. It was not luck.
2. I don't play with kids. I set up opportunities for the kids to learn life skills from play. If you envy my job, give it a go. You will most likely save money by not having to pay me to do it and following a better planned budget. Try it.
3. I am never really off work. Never. (well, until my kids are out and self supporting) I care for your kids during the day and mine the rest of the time. I'd bet your house does not have 11 kids through it daily. I prepared 4,320 meals so far this year. (and keep the tax books to know that number off hand.)
4. It is condescending unless you are trying to get your kid excited by pretending to talk to me about our day. "Fun" stuff with a group of infants and toddlers is Hard Work. Give it a try. I double dog dare you.
Steps down from soap box.
I see this more than not, now. Sometimes it is in the kids best interest.
Nuff said... but I will continue on as always... If you don't want your mellow harshed, move along, now.
What is bothering me lately are the ones who do this then say things like "I wish I could afford to stay home, you are so lucky", "have fun playing with the kids! I'm jealous.", "it must be nice to have time to clean your house and cook at work, I have to put in another days work AFTER I get home" or "that sounds so fun!! I wish I could hang out with you guys all day". Really?
1. I planned, saved and sacrificed to be able to do this. Before conception. It was not luck.
2. I don't play with kids. I set up opportunities for the kids to learn life skills from play. If you envy my job, give it a go. You will most likely save money by not having to pay me to do it and following a better planned budget. Try it.
3. I am never really off work. Never. (well, until my kids are out and self supporting) I care for your kids during the day and mine the rest of the time. I'd bet your house does not have 11 kids through it daily. I prepared 4,320 meals so far this year. (and keep the tax books to know that number off hand.)
4. It is condescending unless you are trying to get your kid excited by pretending to talk to me about our day. "Fun" stuff with a group of infants and toddlers is Hard Work. Give it a try. I double dog dare you.
Steps down from soap box.
Yes!