All my parents pack their kids lunches and I have one little girl here who I've never seen eat a single vegetable or piece of fruit. Today her mom packed her applesauce (which DCM insists she likes because its purple) and mac n cheese. I gave her her applesauce first while the mac n cheese cooled off, hoping she would eat some of that before she filled up on carbs and cheese. She refused to eat it. Here dd is sitting next to her with a plate full of mushrooms and lima beans, just chowing down.

We had a discussion about how our body needs food to grow and be strong and healthy we talked about fruits and vegetables and how it was important to eat well. Finally the mac n cheese cooled and I gave it to her and she ate 1 noodle. So then I told her that she needed to eat her lunch because her body needed food to make energy to play. She hung her head and wouldn't touch her food and I said "A*** I am sorry you're upset but it is lunch time and your body needs you food to make energy so you can play later. Are you going to be able to eat your lunch?" She told me no, so I said if you are not able to sit at the table and eat then you need to go lay on your cot. Please get up and go potty and then go lay down."

As she is sitting on the potty she starts crying. I asked her what was wrong and she wouldn't answer me. Told her again, I am sorry you're upset but the rule here is if you do not eat your lunch you need to go lay down. I gave her another chance and asked her if she wanted to lay down or go eat her lunch and she said lunch. She is now picking at her mac n cheese. This kid is so scrawny. Just skin and bones. Her stool is rock hard from poor diet and I don't know how to get her to eat but at the same time I don't allow kids to mope at the lunch table. I've tried a ton of different ideas to try to get her to eat but she just doesn't. Its driving me crazy.

I just mentioned to DCM earlier this week that I may be joining the food program to be able to advance through the Md EXCELS and she told me she would still pack her lunch because "A**** likes her cheese and stuff".

How do you guys handle the child that doesn't eat at lunch? Do you dismiss them from the table?

:::: She's now pouting at the table because DD cleared her plate of mushrooms, angus hot dogs, lima beans and pretzels and is working on her allergy free chocolate chip cookie (DD is allergic to soy and dairy). Even if mom HAD packed cookies today, no way would I be serving it to her if she's barely eaten anything else.

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Ah! This situation can be so frustrating! My rule is if you get down and leave the table you are done. You can't force kiddos to eat but you can try and "trick" them. Place something she likes on the end of the spoon and something she doesn't like hidden behind the food she does like. It has worked for me!

Good luck!

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Usually, if they won't eat I don't worry too much about it. I just report that they didn't eat their lunch.

But, if you think its really affecting her health (her weight and stools) then I would tell Mom that she needs to consult with her doctor for advice.

I have one that doesn't eat much here and while he is getting better, Mom supplements with pediasure.

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I do that with my little guys but this girl is almost 3. I refuse to spoon feed a 3 year old She does know that she has to eat a good amount to get her dessert but some days she just doesn't eat at all. Like any thing. She will take 2 bites of snack and say she's full. Yesterday we had peanut butter crackers for snack and she asked for peanut butter and then when I gave the to her she cried. I asked her to take a no thank you bite and you should have seen her face when she had the worlds smallest bite on her tongue. So she ate just plain saltines for snack and she only ate maybe half of one.

Doesn't help that dcg had a donut for breakfast this morning. Generally dcm says she wouldn't touch her breakfast. The only days she actually eats breakfast are the donut days. Mom came in this morning and said that dcg at all her breakfast but didn't say what it was. I looked at dcg and said "Oh wow that's great A*** what did you have for breakfast that was so good?" She looked right at me and said "A DONUT!!! I MADE A MESS ahhahahhahhahahhaha!" and bounded off. I looked right at mom. and mom kinda laughed embarrassingly No wonder the child doesn't eat real food.

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I've been in your situation before with different kids throughout the years, I sympathize. First off, I'd join the food program if I were you. I am on the food program and that little extra money sure can help out! And if every child is being offered the exact same meal it seems to create better eaters. It's your job to offer the food and the childs job to eat it.
Involve the kids in meal planning, grocery shopping, and of course preparing the meals--even just reheating what mom packed.
Most importantly is Don't create a power struggle over food or eating--no negativity about the food, her choices, forcing her to try "just one bite" and no punishment for not eating. Set a timer--15-20 minutes, and when it dings lunch is over. During meal times sit with the kids, try to engage them in conversation unrelated to food, read a book to them. Take the focus off her having to eat. If she eats offer praise, if she doesn't don't mention it.
Send home her leftover food so mom can clearly see what she is/isn't eating.
If her weight gets to a point where you are truly concerned about her health discuss it with parents, recommend peds visit, them and you sign a letter about the convo for your records.

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See that's what I was going to do but mom just outright said that she would opt out of the program so dcg would still be eating (or NOT eating) the same stuff she has been. How do I get mom on board with it/

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My mistake! I thought she was younger! I wouldn't spoon feed a 3 year old either!!

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She's a jerk. I never will understand why parents feel so strongly about feeding their kid crap, especially when the child is suffering because of it. Just because its marketed for kids doesn't mean they have to or even should eat it.

She isn't eating even the junk now because when you don't take in proper nutrients and eliminate regularly you don't feel well enough to eat sometimes...

I'd ask her to give you two weeks and the dcg still eats nothing once you switch to the food program, she can go back to her crappy lunches.

OR you can say you're going on the food program and are no longer allowing food from home. She may pull, though.

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why can't you insist on your daycare parents participating in the food program or not being a part of your daycare? If I was in the food program, I would absolutely insist all families participate in order to be a part of my group. The rare exception would be a child with allergies or health issue requiring specialized food that the parent needs to provide.

Currently my daycare families provide sack lunches. I have had to tell one family to tone down the junk because they were literally providing boxes of candy, chips, and a little debbie for lunch....it was outrageous. but other than that, the parents are reasonable on lunch selections. I serve the lunch and if a child doesnt eat, I dont care at all. It is a battle you will NOT win. If they choose to go without meals, so be it. I have had several kids in care that went months throwing away most or all of the lunch every day. Not my problem. There is nothing you can do to overcome a daycare families poor eating habits and no sense stressing yourself out trying to convince a three year old to eat.

and I find that once you totally back off the issue with kids, most of the time they will come around and start cooperating with eating.

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I would join the food program and not give the option of opting out after a certain date. Everyone gets the same meals. Add it to your policy manual.

Dear Parents:

Good news! As of xx date, I will be providing all meals. This will give the children the opportunity to try new foods together, and save all of you the headache of sending meals each day. I am very excited about this positive change.

In order to keep things consistent, after this date, I will no longer allow foods from home, other than birthday treats.

-Brooksie

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I used to get so upset about kids not eating, especially those that obviously needed to eat (pale, skeleton, tummy troubles). I tried to get them to try fruits and veggies, and it just ended in frustration for me and them.

Maybe I'm too jaded now, but I have given up that fight. Most of the families are not concerned about what their child does/doesn't eat, so why should I get all worked up about it. I can't change the way they parent.

I don't allow any food from home. I serve breakfast, lunch, and 2 snacks. I provide food that meets the nutrition requirements of my state. If they eat, great and if they don't, fine. Some kids actually have started to eat more, as they realize there is no debate about it. You eat it or you don't.

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Meals are stress free.

1. No food from home.

2. I OFFER (that is all I am legally required to do) food then walk away. No discussion, no lectures, feigning disinterest.

3. If they don't eat, they will eat at the next meal.

*** I do all of my new food tasting, experimenting, discussions, vegetable finger puppets, "my plate" visuals, etc. at circle time. If and when I get concerned about growth/development I offer a couple pediasures during the day. 2 = 100% daily nutrition (even the parents nighttime portion). I have not met a kid who wont drink the strawberry flavor, away from their friends, in Mrs. Cat Herders special chair.

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I don't debate either. I am not on the food program but I provide. I do not allow food from home unless of food allergy or the babies. I will alter a meal (as in leave something off like...dunno....ketchup) but will not change a meal. If they eat thats fine and if not they get nothing else. No treats after lunch etc. AND they are required to at least taste something they have never had. Do not have to like it but at least try it. My kids are normally rather good. I don't have any issues. I have one child who is picky. Mommy allows it. But not me. If he doesn't eat, its his choice. Its there. I don't think he will starve himself. And next time he might think twice.

I wouldn't give an option either. This day we are switching. Lunch will be provided. Done. I do think though if DCM came in able to provide it might have been a deciding factor. So you might have to weigh if the fight is worth it until you transition new clients and current ones age out. KWIM? Here we start off knowing this is what we do. There, you are switching.

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My only issue is if I do join the food program, the cost and time involved will have to have me raise my rates. I feel like I have to give them the option since I'll be raising their weekly rate $10-15.00

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There is no way purple applesauce and mac n cheese would be served by me.

My home. My food. My rules.

I don't fight or force, but I will not feed what I equate with garbage to the kids in my care. If parents don't like that they are free to find care elsewhere.

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The whole point of the food program is to reimburse you for your time, efforts and the healthy foods you serve. Why would you need to raise rates if you're already going to be compensated by the program?

It's really not that big of a deal to slap together a plate of healthy choices. Might seem overwhelming but I'm guessing it wouldn't take you much more time than it does now to microwave the mac n cheese.


Depending on where you live and what's available to you for groceries you could end up *making* money by enrolling.

I know I do.

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I highly recommend the food program. If you go on the food program and she wants to bring her lunch great but I would still serve her and ask the parent to enroll so you are reimbursed.

I don't have picky kids, but have in the past. I always offer small tiny portions to kids that are not going to eat something and then they can have more. I find that if I serve everything at once the issue of not eating something become null and void. I use divided plates and plate them, then if they want more of something they may have it. I don't serve cookies and sweets except for a birthday or special occasion. Fruits and vegetables I serve. If I know a child is going to eat up all the fruit and then want more, I nicely ask them to eat the other stuff first and then they can have more. I don't push it when kids don't like something but I don't waste food by giving them a full serving. I always offer more if they like it and want more. I don't let kids get down when they are done unless everyone or almost everyone is finished. If I did that then everyone would stop eating and want to play. Meal times are down time to talk together and eat. I ask that they try something but if they don't they don't. I find this takes away the power struggles of food and kids eat until they are full not to make a clean plate club. We love meal times. My challenge is to find different meals because sometimes it seems like I am writing down the same old thing for meals- but this is for both home and daycare. We try to keep it fresh and variety. My daycare kiddo's get excited for meals- I feel because I take a lot of the stress out of it and make it a non struggle time and I serve a variety of foods.
Good luck this is how I roll-

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I don't understand why you would raise your rates if you go on the food program either. Is it the extra work preparing, shopping, and book keeping? It is more work than if the kids bring their own lunch.

I have had only two extremely picky eaters in 11 yrs. Those two I just had come the table, stay seated until we were done. No biggie.

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I don't allow food from home. I serve breakfast, lunch and 2 snacks. I don't force them to eat and they don't fine, they can be hungry. I also don't give 2nds out unless they've eaten what they have. With veggies I give them two kinds so they can choose which one to eat. Most of my kids do eat all of their food but I've a few go through here and pick at it or just eat carb stuff. All the kids stay at the table until I'm done putting out the nap mats and I've eaten my food. (I'm always done before the regular eaters so just picky ones have to wait)

One of my own DD's (8y old) is this way...PICKY!! Like..I only like this brand of pizza, I only eat sauce at a certain resturant. UGGG! She goes hungry some dinner nights. Oh well!!

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make it mandatory for your program. I am doing the food program and you may still bring her lunch but I will also be serving her. Let it be up to the child to choose if she eats or not. You may be the inspiration that will get her to try things later in life. Seeing the other kids eat things might help too.

I enjoy being on the food program. I get tons of information that I can share with my families and I like planning ahead to know what I am going to be serving. Helps with groceries and planning.

If you feel that there is a health issue going on than I would ask the parent to take the child to the Dr. Could be an underlying issue going on, and a great way for the parent to get information from Dr. to help with food issues.

Good luck-

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Why are you needing to raise rates?

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Its the extra work and time involved. Just being reimbursed for the food would not be enough. I'm a struggling single mom and am already overloaded with work on my plate and struggling immensely financially. I'm totally and completely exhausted at the end of the day and to be honest, even in the beginning. To put in the extra effort of the record keeping and preparations I would have to raise rates.

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The food program will help you financially, not hurt you.

There are 2 tiers of reimbursement, based on your children's income, your income, or your school districts income. Even the lower tier helps a lot, but the upper tier would be better.

Your food program rep will explain the details. They may also have reimbursement rates, eligible schools for higher rates, and income info for higher rates on their website.

I only have 4 children in my group, and some days I have 2. I am in the higher bracket due to my school district. My August check will be $299.

There are lots of ways to save money. I serve a lot of "leftovers". Meaning, I make a little extra for dinner, and then serve it for lunch the next day. Nothing really gets wasted around here, because any extra food gets portioned up and put in the freezer. Then, on any given day I can pull out something. If I'm out of freezer items, then we have grilled cheese, but that's rare. Again, I only have 4 kids, and one is a young infant, so it's easy. When I had 7 it took a little more planning.

Oh, and record keeping is getting on your computer and clicking a few boxes at nap time each day. It's not much at all!

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see, I just did it...

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The amount of extra record keeping I do for the day for the food program is less then 5 min. I check off the time we ate, who ate, what we ate and thats it. Its all on the computer and takes literally no time at all.

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Do you throw away her lunch after lunch time? I would send it all back. Every single thing she didn't eat.
Maybe if mom starts having to throw away all that food plus watching her not eat at breakfast either something will give.
Because, really, mom is feeding her something she eats for dinner. And I would recommend (to mom) that she serves the uneaten lunch instead.

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I ONLY allow food from home on special occasions (if the child brings treats for all). Otherwise, you have one kid crying about eating oatmeal while another child is eating a powdered donut. I would just tell Mom that to be fair to ALL, as of Oct 1 (or whatever), you will no longer be allowing food from home.

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Yea I do throw it away. I think I will start sending it back. Even the shredded sandwiches with 2 bites out of them.

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I thought you lived with a boyfriend/were engaged?

I was a single mom of two, going through a divorce, took on the lions share of debt from our relationship in the process and supporting the three of us with zero assistance from family, him, or the state.....which is exactly why I DID join the food program.

It was a "raise" for me that I didn't have to pass onto parents. And as others have pointed out the additional book keeping took hardly a minute or two. It gave me MORE money that I could use to feed my own children better with. Since the three of us needed to eat regardless it didn't take any additional trips to the store or anything.

My prep time the kids in my care spend engaging in independent/unstructured play time, which is super important to their development so really it worked out well across the board!

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My policy is if you don't like what is being served then you say " I don't prefer ______ today." and pass it to the next person. If they don't eat, they don't eat. I serve healthy, pretty (lol), yummy food. I had my run of chicken nuggets and chips kids this summer. I got over them not eating real fast. It was frustrating though. As far as the parents I made it clear that I am not a short order cook and would not plan my menus around Little _____ eating habits. Sometimes dcb and his sis wouldn't eat all day.

The food programs can be a lot of work but, once you get the hang of it, it goes fast. I love getting my food program checks!

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My boyfriend JUST moved in but was unable to take on enough of the bills (a completely different and frustrating story). Before that my dad was helping out with some of my bills. Now my dad is not helping me and I'm paying more bills per month than I was before he moved in. I also just lost one of my families that had 2 of my dcks.

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I remember living in those shoes.....they're not fun to wear at all.

Fingers crossed and prayers said that you're back on your feet before you know it. I really do think the program could help you if you'd consider it. If you're lower income they'll even reimburse you for your daughters meals when daycare kids are present.

It's really the only way I was able to afford the groceries I got otherwise my own kids would have been stuck eating ramen and jello every day.....no joke.

Never hurts to call and set up a consult with a rep. to see what you'd be looking at reimbursement wise.

To cut down on the amount of work I'll make, say, extra chicken breast when I cook for my family. Freeze or refrigerate and then all you have to do is heat and serve with a slice of bread, carrot sticks and half an apple. BAM....you just made $10 while only spending $5 to make that lunch.....multiply that by 2 meals a day, 20 days out of the month and throw reimbursed snacks in there too.....can you see how it adds up quick?

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.
I will NOT have a struggle about food with a dck- which is what your doing. She eats she eats.
I do occasionally talk about how "dc-x is going to be growing so much because of all the healthy food they are eating and may throw in a dc-y you better watch out they are going to pass you". But very light heartily-

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Also your own child can be on the food program and you will get reimbursed for her meals & snacks. Unless that isn't offered in each state. I loved it when my own kids were on the food program. That would help you out.

I just joined the food program this week. I will be getting $500.00-$600.00 a month. You can't beat that!!!

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