A Lying 2 Year Old?

[sahm2three]

I have had no issues with my own children lying (I have always said they are too honest for their own good). This little dcb lies about everything. I usually have 5 in diapers, he is one of them. If I walk into the room and say, "oooh, someones poopy" he says, "not me, its X" And it is him. He will lie and say X hit him when I saw the whole thing and what actually happened is that he took a toy from X and X started crying so he turns it around to say that THEY hit HIM. I can't think of anything else at the moment. He is also really aggressive, but only if he thinks I am not watching. So he knows already to hide things. Is this normal 2 year old behavior?!

[SilverSabre25]

I would say that it's a defense mechanism--and a reflection on the way he gets treated at home or elsewhere when he's caught doing "wrong" (not that at his age there's much that's truly "wrong", iykwim).

A 2 year old is not capable of purposefully concealing the truth--but they are capable of telling what they wish had happened, or what they know the adult wants to hear, or, in these cases, what they know will NOT get them in trouble. "Truth" is a fluid concept for them, and it will be until early elementary school.

As for doing things only when he thinks you're not looking--I'd say that's pretty normal. Mine has done it all along! But again, I think it probably reflects a lot on how he gets treated at home.

[sahm2three]

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25

I would say that it's a defense mechanism--and a reflection on the way he gets treated at home or elsewhere when he's caught doing "wrong" (not that at his age there's much that's truly "wrong", iykwim).

A 2 year old is not capable of purposefully concealing the truth--but they are capable of telling what they wish had happened, or what they know the adult wants to hear, or, in these cases, what they know will NOT get them in trouble. "Truth" is a fluid concept for them, and it will be until early elementary school.

As for doing things only when he thinks you're not looking--I'd say that's pretty normal. Mine has done it all along! But again, I think it probably reflects a lot on how he gets treated at home.

This does make a lot of sense. He is living with mom, who I think is over indulgant, and spends time at dad's house, who is fed up with the kids behavior and goes over the top, in my opinion. I feel bad for the kid, but at the same time, lying is something that I can't stand. Of course, I know he is only 2, but I guess that is why it alarmed me. I have never experienced a child lying at this age. He is so sneaky. He will look at me out of the corner of his eye to see if I am watching him, and if he doesn't think I am, he will shove one of the smaller kids down, or take a toy away. I am forever telling him to give back the toy he took from this person or that. Taking toys is a normal behavior. I guess I am just worn out and ready for a long weekend.

[SilverSabre25]

Originally Posted by sahm2three

This does make a lot of sense. He is living with mom, who I think is over indulgant, and spends time at dad's house, who is fed up with the kids behavior and goes over the top, in my opinion. I feel bad for the kid, but at the same time, lying is something that I can't stand. Of course, I know he is only 2, but I guess that is why it alarmed me. I have never experienced a child lying at this age. He is so sneaky. He will look at me out of the corner of his eye to see if I am watching him, and if he doesn't think I am, he will shove one of the smaller kids down, or take a toy away. I am forever telling him to give back the toy he took from this person or that. Taking toys is a normal behavior. I guess I am just worn out and ready for a long weekend.

When you see him looking at you out of the corner of his eye, I would give him one of those "mom voice" warnings--the name, drawn out in a low voice so he KNOWS you see him. Make him start to think that you really do have eyes in the back of your head! You could start intervening as soon as you see that look, too. Distract him, move him, etc. I do this with a couple of mine who are "sneaky" and it seems to work wonders.

He's old enough to start getting time outs, too--he takes a toy, he gives it back and gets a warning that if he does it again, it's a time out. He shoves someone down, he gets a time out.

HUGS--it sounds like he's a difficult kid who's really wearing on your nerves. The week's more than half over. Hang in there!

[DBug]

I have the exact same kid . My own sons were like this too, so it's perfectly normal. My favourite way of dealing with it is to stay out of sight and watch them until they are about to do something, or even when they get that look in their eye, and then say their name sharply or say something like " ***, don't even think about it!" in a drawn-out way. It makes them start to think you've got eyes in the back of your head , and they do start to rethink a lot of the sneaky behaviours.

You have to be hyper-vigilant with this kind of kid, and it's exhausting (thank goodness mine is only 3 days/week!). But they can also be the sweetest kids ever. Good luck!

[kendallina]

SilverSabre, you always say what I want to say before I get a chance to say it!!! Anyways, yeh, I agree with SilverSabre.

[ninosqueridos]

It may be "normal" but can definitely be detrimental to you and your family. I termed a child (2 1/2) b/c all this child did all day was make up things (physical things) that happened. Child would look straight at me and say "you SCRATCHED me!" while pointing to the scratch from cat at home ....or "you PUSHED me!" when child was 10 feet away and tripped on rug. Problem was dcp believed child. Adios!

[SilverSabre25]

Originally Posted by kendallina

SilverSabre, you always say what I want to say before I get a chance to say it!!! Anyways, yeh, I agree with SilverSabre.

Sorry! At least we seem to think the same way. We should meet up sometime, lol.

[SilverSabre25]

Originally Posted by ninosqueridos

It may be "normal" but can definitely be detrimental to you and your family. I termed a child (2 1/2) b/c all this child did all day was make up things (physical things) that happened. Child would look straight at me and say "you SCRATCHED me!" while pointing to the scratch from cat at home ....or "you PUSHED me!" when child was 10 feet away and tripped on rug. Problem was dcp believed child. Adios!

I find the best thing to do in those cases is remind the child what the truth really is. They really don't have any sort of grasp on fiction/nonfiction or reality/pretend. When my DD was doing this, I guess it didn't even register because I just would automatically tell her, no, that's a kitty scratch. Or, he wasn't anywhere near you, you just tripped.

[QualiTcare]

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25

I would say that it's a defense mechanism--and a reflection on the way he gets treated at home or elsewhere when he's caught doing "wrong" (not that at his age there's much that's truly "wrong", iykwim).

A 2 year old is not capable of purposefully concealing the truth--but they are capable of telling what they wish had happened, or what they know the adult wants to hear, or, in these cases, what they know will NOT get them in trouble. "Truth" is a fluid concept for them, and it will be until early elementary school.

As for doing things only when he thinks you're not looking--I'd say that's pretty normal. Mine has done it all along! But again, I think it probably reflects a lot on how he gets treated at home.

does he have an older sibling/siblings? my sisters still joke about how they blamed EVERYTHING on me when i was too young to defend myself. they realized they screwed up when they used paint to write WORDS on the basement wall and said, "QualiT did it" and of course i couldn't spell, read, or write anything.

my daughter did the same thing to my son who is younger than her. it didn't last as long as my sister's scheme bc they're closer in age. still, he could be getting old enough to recognize when something happens that his siblings put the blame on someone else. that may be his normal.

[MARSTELAC]

Just had a 4 yo dc kid tell another daycare parent that my dog bit another child. I am so upset! My dog is so tame and has never bitten another child and if it did, the dog would be history. How to handle this one please???? Mom will be here shortly to pick up for school. Would love to know what to say to her....