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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Starting To Wonder...If I Should Be Concerned
hwichlaz 12:15 PM 12-01-2017
I have a new little guy...newly 2 years old...and been here since the beginning of September.

Every morning when he gets here, and every day when we come inside....I sit him down and hand over hand help him remove his shoes and coat, put them away, then take him to wash his hands. If I help another child first and ask him to get started...blank stare. He doesn't try to help at all...and seems confused when I ask him to try on his own. He won't attempt to pull up his pants after a diaper change either.

He comes 4 days a week...and we're starting month 3. I really feel like it should be starting to click.

What say you?
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Blackcat31 12:37 PM 12-01-2017
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
I have a new little guy...newly 2 years old...and been here since the beginning of September.

Every morning when he gets here, and every day when we come inside....I sit him down and hand over hand help him remove his shoes and coat, put them away, then take him to wash his hands. If I help another child first and ask him to get started...blank stare. He doesn't try to help at all...and seems confused when I ask him to try on his own. He won't attempt to pull up his pants after a diaper change either.

He comes 4 days a week...and we're starting month 3. I really feel like it should be starting to click.

What say you?
Maybe he really thinks the entire act (of undressing) includes YOUR hand on his hand. So when you say "go ahead and get started" he really doesn't have any idea what it is you are asking him to do....

Getting some of these little guys/gals to understand that I want them to do something independently or all by themselves seems to be more and more of a confusing task now days.....especially from those whose parents do it FOR them. kwim?

Could that be the case with your little guy?
Does he actually understand you want him to do it without your hands on his?

Do his parents dress/undress him upon arrival and pick up?
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TheMisplacedMidwestMom 02:23 PM 12-01-2017
I had this kid recently. Anytime I offered assistance he simply gave up. I started small with things I knew good and well he could do and kept building. When we would come in from outside I gave him a spot to sit until he took his shoes off. The first week he literally spent an hour there most days, ranging from the blank stare, to picking lint on the carpet, to screaming for help because he couldn't do it. He simply got the broken record of "Ok, take off your shoes then come play". Slowly it clicked. I repeated this with every dressing skill. We went through the entire process for most of them. He's 2.5 now and last week he wouldn't let me help him put his snow suit on.
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TheMisplacedMidwestMom 02:38 PM 12-01-2017
Originally Posted by TheMisplacedMidwestMom:
I had this kid recently. Anytime I offered assistance he simply gave up. I started small with things I knew good and well he could do and kept building. When we would come in from outside I gave him a spot to sit until he took his shoes off. The first week he literally spent an hour there most days, ranging from the blank stare, to picking lint on the carpet, to screaming for help because he couldn't do it. He simply got the broken record of "Ok, take off your shoes then come play". Slowly it clicked. I repeated this with every dressing skill. We went through the entire process for most of them. He's 2.5 now and last week he wouldn't let me help him put his snow suit on.
Just to clarify, this was/is a kid who's parents did everything for him. It was total learned helplessness and I knew that going in. In the beginning I really think he had no concept that I actually expected him to do it for himself. He was the same with verbal directions for anything, just did not understand that an actual response was expected (like walking to another room, he expected you would take him there).
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hwichlaz 03:14 PM 12-01-2017
Right now he’s sobbing on the floor with his pants in his lap while his friends eat snack. I told him we wear pants for meals (he wears stiff jeans and sleeps better without them). I told him that if he puts them on his legs I’ll help him pull them up and button them. He looks pretty hopeless.

He’s the sweetest little guy ever... but at this rate he’ll take his snack home with him.
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TheMisplacedMidwestMom 04:05 PM 12-01-2017
Mine would literally turn his pants upside and try to put them on and tell me he needed help. Then we'd go to do something like snack and he'd suddenly have them on in about 30 seconds. He did the same with shoes and socks. Turn shoes backwards, try to push socks on, anything to convince me he couldn't do it. Eventually he would give up and do it, but lots of time and creativity went into the "drama" of it.
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flying_babyb 04:41 PM 12-01-2017
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
Right now he’s sobbing on the floor with his pants in his lap while his friends eat snack. I told him we wear pants for meals (he wears stiff jeans and sleeps better without them). I told him that if he puts them on his legs I’ll help him pull them up and button them. He looks pretty hopeless.

He’s the sweetest little guy ever... but at this rate he’ll take his snack home with him.
Been there! had a kid who could pull up his own business (underwear, pants, put on shoes ect). He would scream and yell and throw a tantrum daily. I would just ignore it and go about doing other things, saying X i see your having so much fun. Y your doing a great job. ect.. It worked, eventually he realized I wouldn't do it for him, he wouldn't get snack (I would leave it on the table till 4), would miss outside time (he would sit on the rug in the bosses office) and miss art. Couple of times he sat there till his mom came (and carried him out with no pants on, cause she wouldnt do it either). Took two weeks of me not helping and he did it alone.
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hwichlaz 08:11 AM 12-04-2017
He's the first 2 year old I've ever had that would leave his shoes and socks on all day. He won't even try to remove them. Usually, but a year old you can't get them to leave them ON.
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TheMisplacedMidwestMom 09:55 AM 12-04-2017
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
He's the first 2 year old I've ever had that would leave his shoes and socks on all day. He won't even try to remove them. Usually, but a year old you can't get them to leave them ON.
With mine I KNEW he could do the things I was asking because he would do it at other times, but would "need" help when the task was expected. If that makes sense. For example we were outside one day and he took his mittens off no less than three times (they did not fall off, I watched him remove them). When we came inside he was suddenly unable take them off because they were "too heavy".
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Ariana 01:01 PM 12-04-2017
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
He's the first 2 year old I've ever had that would leave his shoes and socks on all day. He won't even try to remove them. Usually, but a year old you can't get them to leave them ON.
I had this kid but luckily he is gone. The only way I can explain it is to say that this kid will not exactly be a rocket scientist when he grows up. Some kids are just “simple” and out in lalaland if you know what I mean . The parents are likely doing everything for him but I know 2 year olds that won’t even allow you to help them!!

I am really trying not to be rude but are the parents “simple”? That might give you a clue!
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Mom2Two 01:44 PM 12-04-2017
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I had this kid but luckily he is gone. The only way I can explain it is to say that this kid will not exactly be a rocket scientist when he grows up. Some kids are just “simple” and out in lalaland if you know what I mean . The parents are likely doing everything for him but I know 2 year olds that won’t even allow you to help them!!

I am really trying not to be rude but are the parents “simple”? That might give you a clue!
It might be this, or he might have delays in some areas but not others.
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Mom2Two 02:23 PM 12-04-2017
Here is a scan of an assessment record, so you can look at other self-help milestones for dressing.

How do threads get tagged? This one has "needy" but it's very possible that this is "developmental delays."

I'm getting an error on the upload, I'll try again soon.
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Mom2Two 03:16 PM 12-04-2017
Here's a link from a hospital website:
https://www.luriechildrens.org/en-us...re-skills.aspx

And the jpg below is from an assessment form that I kept from DD's EI days.
Attached: HELP Self-help Dressing.JPG (524.5 KB) 
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