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Janiam 04:55 PM 04-19-2014
My week did not end so well. I had a communication breakdown that involved two sets of DCP's that are friends and myself. Long story short, I require all parents to let me know if someone other than the parents will be picking up their child. This can be in writing, a phone call or text. The person also needs to be listed on their permissions form. Just curious if anyone else let's people on the list pick up without verbal or written permission in advance?
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KidGrind 05:00 PM 04-19-2014
Originally Posted by Janiam:
My week did not end so well. I had a communication breakdown that involved two sets of DCP's that are friends and myself. Long story short, I require all parents to let me know if someone other than the parents will be picking up their child. This can be in writing, a phone call or text. The person also needs to be listed on their permissions form. Just curious if anyone else let's people on the list pick up without verbal or written permission in advance?
I do not. If they are not on the list, DCKs are not released to them unless I have it in writing. Friend or not, a DCP’s laziness or forgetfulness isn’t a good reason to open myself up to lose my career or open myself up to a lawsuit.
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Patches 05:08 PM 04-19-2014
No. They need to let me know if someone else is picking up. If someone that doesn't usually pick up just shows up, I call the parents to see if they forgot to tell me or whatever. I have had it happen once. Grandma just decided she wanted to come get the baby. I called mom and she had no idea she was going to pick him up. Grandma didn't even ask mom, just came here. Mom said it was ok to let her take hom, but can ou imagine if I had just sent him with gma and mom came to pick up later and the baby was gone? I'm sure she would've freaked.
ETA: They have to be on the list in writing. If someone shows up that is NOT on the list, a phone conversation is not good enough to release the child to this person.

Off subject, but my daycare provider played a trick on me once. I showed up to pick up my ds and she said my husband had already picked him up. I was so confused. I had the only car seat and I was the only one to drop off and pick up EVER because I worked 2 minutes away. I mean, he was on the list but he had NEVER dropped off or picked up. I actually scared me. I said, "oh.......ok?" and started to walk out the door, about to call my husband and she said, "just kidding! He's asleep".
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MarinaVanessa 06:34 PM 04-19-2014
They have to be on the emergency card and let me know first.

If they are on the card but they don't tell me and someone else shows up, even though they know each other or are friends, I would call to confirm that with them and I wouldn't release the child until I reached the parent.
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llpa 06:38 PM 04-19-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
They have to be on the emergency card and let me know first.

If they are on the card but they don't tell me and someone else shows up, even though they know each other or are friends, I would call to confirm that with them and I wouldn't release the child until I reached the parent.

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KSDC 05:30 AM 04-20-2014
If they are on the list, then I release. That is what the list is for.

I used to have have two DCKs whose parents were best friends and lived next door to each other. They regularly picked up each others child.
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cheerfuldom 07:45 AM 04-20-2014
Originally Posted by Janiam:
My week did not end so well. I had a communication breakdown that involved two sets of DCP's that are friends and myself. Long story short, I require all parents to let me know if someone other than the parents will be picking up their child. This can be in writing, a phone call or text. The person also needs to be listed on their permissions form. Just curious if anyone else let's people on the list pick up without verbal or written permission in advance?
I am confused.....the pickup people were on the list yet you did not release the kids because you require additional notice? then what is the list even for if the parents have to do an additional verbal or written permission? If I have someone on the list and they show up even if I am not expecting them that day, I release the child. That is what the list is for. It is usually both parents and one other local person, generally a grandma.
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Blackcat31 07:46 AM 04-20-2014
I require parents to give me a list of people who are allowed to pick up.

However, being in the list doesn't give that person automatic permission to pick up the child(ren)....the parent MUST give me verbal or written permission.

If they know in advance, they can give me a written note stating who will be picking up.

If they don't know in advance and can't give me a note, they need to call me and speak DIRECTLY to me stating who will be picking up.

I do NOT allow texting and/or e-mails as I can not guarantee the sender of this type of message.

Alternate pick ups need to be in writing or by voice. NO EXCEPTIONS.

If someone is not on their list, I will allow it WITH verbal confirmation and a whole bunch of identifying info along with it....driver's license (I make a copy), car description, clothing and personal description as well as exact time of pick up.

Bottom line is I do whatever I need to do to cover my butt. If parents cant respect that or realize it is also in the best interest of the safety of their child, then my program is not the right place for them.

This entire topic is discussed in depth during the interview so that we cover all possible scenarios up front.
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Blackcat31 07:49 AM 04-20-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I am confused.....the pickup people were on the list yet you did not release the kids because you require additional notice? then what is the list even for if the parents have to do an additional verbal or written permission? If I have someone on the list and they show up even if I am not expecting them that day, I release the child. That is what the list is for. It is usually both parents and one other local person, generally a grandma.
My licensor said the list is just additional info...but that daily or per incident communication should ALWAYS be done.

Just because someone is on the pick up list today doesn't mean next week they are still "approved" for pick up and parents rarely update their info with out us asking...kwim?

Mu licensor said the "extra" requirements will help CYA. Relationships change so much now days that it's tough to keep up with for some families...


I also view my pick up list as more of an emergency pick up list...not necessarily a list of people who could possibly show up and pick up on a regular basis or now and then.
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Blackcat31 07:54 AM 04-20-2014
My personal experience with this as a parent is why I have the rules I do.

My children attended the local YMCA child care center. We (as parents) were required to submit a list of pick up people.

I had my MIL on the list because I worked 30 miles from the center and was worried I may not always make it before closing so I needed to have someone on the list that could pick up when I couldn't. However, I requested that the center NOT release my child to anyone UNLESS I said so....

My MIL would pick up my children whenever she felt like it. Sometimes hours before they were scheduled to be picked up... other times I was not aware that she picked them up and when I showed up at the end of the day, my kids weren't there and I would have to go "search" for them.

After I told the YMCA to not release them unless I said so and they said I should just remove the MIL name from the list.

Buuuut if I did that and ended up needing her to get them, she wouldn't have been allowed to because she wasn't on the list.

That is MY reason for doing what I do now.
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Janiam 08:04 AM 04-20-2014
I was allowing the two DCM's that are friends and on each others lists to pick up without prior notiication becouse the two families are very close. The problem started when DCM 1 wanted to add her after hours nanny to DCM 2's list and I said sorry... only parents can have access to childs file. DCM 1 turned into an issue and DCD 2 shows up with a long detailed list of who has permission to pick up his child and how I am to verify said individuals and full of legalese as he is a police officer, signed by both parents. I replied with "thank you for the detailed letter, but you do need to add the nanny to the required state form".
That's all that was needed in the first place, I feel resentful toward DCM 1 for making such a big deal about this. I think she was mad becouse she asked if she could pay on Thursday rather than Monday and I said ok... then she said well it will probably be Friday or Monday and I said no, you need to pay this week. I have been hoping DCF 2 will age out soon anyway, I have had them for 7 years I am tired of there late pick ups and excuses. I really don't want to deal with either of these families on Monday. So, do I enforce the policies that all families are required to call before anybody else picks up their child including these two families since officer rightous wrote the letter? Or do I just allow them to pick up each others kids to keep the peace?
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Janiam 08:30 AM 04-20-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
My licensor said the list is just additional info...but that daily or per incident communication should ALWAYS be done.


Just because someone is on the pick up list today doesn't mean next week they are still "approved" for pick up and parents rarely update their info with out us asking...kwim?

Mu licensor said the "extra" requirements will help CYA. Relationships change so much now days that it's tough to keep up with for some families...


I also view my pick up list as more of an emergency pick up list...not necessarily a list of people who could possibly show up and pick up on a regular basis or now and then.
Exactly this. And all my other clients get this and follow through, but these two are "special".
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Blackcat31 12:30 PM 04-20-2014
Originally Posted by Janiam:
I was allowing the two DCM's that are friends and on each others lists to pick up without prior notiication becouse the two families are very close. The problem started when DCM 1 wanted to add her after hours nanny to DCM 2's list and I said sorry... only parents can have access to childs file. DCM 1 turned into an issue and DCD 2 shows up with a long detailed list of who has permission to pick up his child and how I am to verify said individuals and full of legalese as he is a police officer, signed by both parents. I replied with "thank you for the detailed letter, but you do need to add the nanny to the required state form".
That's all that was needed in the first place, I feel resentful toward DCM 1 for making such a big deal about this. I think she was mad becouse she asked if she could pay on Thursday rather than Monday and I said ok... then she said well it will probably be Friday or Monday and I said no, you need to pay this week. I have been hoping DCF 2 will age out soon anyway, I have had them for 7 years I am tired of there late pick ups and excuses. I really don't want to deal with either of these families on Monday. So, do I enforce the policies that all families are required to call before anybody else picks up their child including these two families since officer rightous wrote the letter? Or do I just allow them to pick up each others kids to keep the peace?
If these two families are sort of already on their way out, I'd allow them to pick up each others child BUT I would require written permission.

Make sure you have them all (BOTH dads and moms) sign the statement and have it say the full names of the people who are allowed to pick up (including the other family) AND that those people on that list can pick up WITHOUT prior notification to you.

If DCF 2 wants to add DCF1's nanny let them...provided you have the permission form.

That should take care of any liability you have in letting anyone they have on their list pick up. I'd make sure you mention your normal policies and make sure ALL parents sign it.

Maybe type up something like:

ABC child care requires day to day communication in regards to who is picking up a child.

However, written permission allowing any of the following people to be picked up WITHOUT daily communication about said pick up will be allowed between the Jones and the Smith families per their request.

The following people may pick up (Smith children) or (Jones children) WITHOUT prior notification anytime they wish to do so:

Nancy Smith
Bill Smith
Sally Jones
Bob Jones
Smith Nanny
Jones Grandma
Smith family friend

This form is in effect until written notice by either family is submitted, thus cancelling the agreement.


Have BOTH families and BOTH parents sign AND date this letter.
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Meeko 06:22 PM 04-20-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I am confused.....the pickup people were on the list yet you did not release the kids because you require additional notice? then what is the list even for if the parents have to do an additional verbal or written permission? If I have someone on the list and they show up even if I am not expecting them that day, I release the child. That is what the list is for. It is usually both parents and one other local person, generally a grandma.
I'm the same.

If they are on the list, the parents have already said it's OK for that person to pick up their child and I don't need a second OK. I DO ask for ID if I have never met the person before.

I make sure at sign up that parents understand I WILL release their child to someone on the list at any time, so to be picky about who they choose.

Having the list saves me time and trouble. I don't want to have be calling around trying to track down parents to check, with a person standing at the door waiting.

On the list? Here's the child.

Not on the list? No way, no how....are you having the child....don't care if you ARE the grandma (this happened once ).
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cheerfuldom 06:53 PM 04-20-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
My licensor said the list is just additional info...but that daily or per incident communication should ALWAYS be done.

Just because someone is on the pick up list today doesn't mean next week they are still "approved" for pick up and parents rarely update their info with out us asking...kwim?

Mu licensor said the "extra" requirements will help CYA. Relationships change so much now days that it's tough to keep up with for some families...


I also view my pick up list as more of an emergency pick up list...not necessarily a list of people who could possibly show up and pick up on a regular basis or now and then.
I understand if it was licensing regulations. I am legally unlicensed so I use my list in a different way as I see fit. Perhaps that is the issue I wasnt understanding.....the parents thought the list was one thing and the provider had to do another per licensing?
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cheerfuldom 06:55 PM 04-20-2014
Originally Posted by Janiam:
I was allowing the two DCM's that are friends and on each others lists to pick up without prior notiication becouse the two families are very close. The problem started when DCM 1 wanted to add her after hours nanny to DCM 2's list and I said sorry... only parents can have access to childs file. DCM 1 turned into an issue and DCD 2 shows up with a long detailed list of who has permission to pick up his child and how I am to verify said individuals and full of legalese as he is a police officer, signed by both parents. I replied with "thank you for the detailed letter, but you do need to add the nanny to the required state form".
That's all that was needed in the first place, I feel resentful toward DCM 1 for making such a big deal about this. I think she was mad becouse she asked if she could pay on Thursday rather than Monday and I said ok... then she said well it will probably be Friday or Monday and I said no, you need to pay this week. I have been hoping DCF 2 will age out soon anyway, I have had them for 7 years I am tired of there late pick ups and excuses. I really don't want to deal with either of these families on Monday. So, do I enforce the policies that all families are required to call before anybody else picks up their child including these two families since officer rightous wrote the letter? Or do I just allow them to pick up each others kids to keep the peace?
Okay, now I see the update. If the parents have provided written permission or whatever it is you need in order to release kids, then yes, let them do whatever arrangement they want as long as it follows your rules and is not disruptive in some other way. I can see how this situation is made worse by the fact that these parents are sort of teaming up on you and also by past situations. When are these families going to age out?
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NightOwl 07:36 PM 04-20-2014
If they are on the list, then yes. That's why the list is there. But I still text dcps to say "hey, such and such just picked up dck, FYI". And I'll usually get an "oh I forgot to tell you!"
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Janiam 07:52 PM 04-20-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Okay, now I see the update. If the parents have provided written permission or whatever it is you need in order to release kids, then yes, let them do whatever arrangement they want as long as it follows your rules and is not disruptive in some other way. I can see how this situation is made worse by the fact that these parents are sort of teaming up on you and also by past situations. When are these families going to age out?
DCF 2 has done the required paperwork. The problem initially was that DCM 1 wanted to do it for them since they were "too busy" and might not have time before they all went out of town, for confidentiality purposes and per state regs I said no. I really don't have a problem with them picking up each others kids...my policies state I need communication from parents before anyone other than parent can pick up a child. This is a CMA policy that is in my PHB. I think it would be best to have both sets of parents sign a letter, as Blackcat said, to give each other permission to pick up without prior notification and have both sets of parents sign.
One child is the oldest in my DC and has shown up twice this month, they have to pay for their slot no matter if he is here or not but lately they don't seem to have the time to let me know when he won't be here. The other family will be going to kindy in the fall. DCM 1 is very passive agressive and I tend to be very direct , so I would like to have a reasonable plan and move forward without the drama.
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