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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Any Of You Watch Kids Everyday Even Though A Parent Doesn't Work?
E Daycare 04:52 AM 10-02-2012
Did you tell the parent "I need you to not have your kid here 10hrs a day" if so? Or change anything within your contract?


I'm part time (3x a week) and made a temporary exception for one of my dck. This exception includes a full time rate discount for 5 days and I took it on to help out the parent. Lately the parent (sole cuatody) has been stressed at work and taking time off work. The other parent pays daycare (parents aren't together) so the sole custody dck parent still drops off dck even when sole aren't is at home all day. Now the sole parent is looking to permanently go on leave from work. I know that parent won't want to let go of free daycare so the dck will still be coming.

Would you tell the sole parent that now you go back to the original schedule (we re-signed contracts for full time) or require the parent to do just 8 hrs a day?

I'm more looking for opinions on how you'd handle the situation really. Dcp is playing the "sick" card to make me feel guilty I know, but Im doing part time with the others (and I wanted to do it all the time) so I can spend more time with my kid. This isn't happening as the dck is here 50hrs a week (all day when parent is home too).

So do I say "well I know you other sitter is still down and out but since you'll be home now we can go back to our original agreement" or what?

I think I answered my own question on that lol.

So how do I go about saying that as the dcp never mentioned we'd go back to the original agreement as she's making it clear she feels soooooo sick? It's awkward now.

I hate this part. Some days I figure it's easier to just close completely and avoid any awkward run ins.

Call me chicken today.
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brookeroo 04:58 AM 10-02-2012
I don't understand why some people have kids at all... Gotta wonder how that makes the child feel knowing their parent is at home all day and not spending the time with them.
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E Daycare 05:09 AM 10-02-2012
Originally Posted by brookeroo:
I don't understand why some people have kids at all... Gotta wonder how that makes the child feel knowing their parent is at home all day and not spending the time with them.
I wonder this all the time since the kid asks all day when a parent is coming to get them.

Kids are more of a burden then anything to *some* dcps. Sometimes I feel like I'm part of the small minority that wants to spend time with my kid. It's been that way for 4yrs too and I never say "you know what would be great? Being at work outside the home 55hrs a week!".

I tried that when my kid was born and I was so bitter I gave no cares at work and they gave me the option to leave. I left. Lol
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cheerfuldom 06:09 AM 10-02-2012
If the situation is no longer working for you, then change it. You dont have to keep a kid there 50+ hours a week just because a parent is willing to pay for that.
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jokalima 06:14 AM 10-02-2012
Some parents just don't like to spend time with kids. I have a single Mom that she will keep her kids at home every time she has a chance, then I have this couple that will complain if they have to stay home with their kid even when they are off from work.
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SquirrellyMama 06:14 AM 10-02-2012
I agree that you should change the agreement if it isn't working for you.

Originally Posted by :
I don't understand why some people have kids at all... Gotta wonder how that makes the child feel knowing their parent is at home all day and not spending the time with them.
I would wonder if the sole custody parent is depressed and isn't trying to take advantage or unloving of their children.

K
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canadiancare 06:20 AM 10-02-2012
It is hard not to make it personal but the reality is they are paying us to care for their child. It isn't our place to decide whether they should be the ones doing it. Unless it affects us directly it shouldn't matter what they are doing during the hours they pay us. The only time I get resentful is when a parent is late and has a car full of errands (quick trip to Costco on the way to pick up on a Friday night).

We used to get November 11 here as a stat day but they changed that a few years ago. Some workers still get it but I need to stay open for the others. Deep down I know I wish that the parents who do have it off would keep their kids and give me a break while having quality time but in reality they use it as Christmas shopping/date day and I guess that benefits the kids, too.

In the end you are in control of your clients. If you can't work with the current situation you can end the agreement within the terms of your contract.
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littlemissmuffet 06:30 AM 10-02-2012
I only provide care to working parents, full time students, or parents on disability/maternity leave. The disability needs to be physical to the point that they cannot tend to their child. If the disibility is classified as emotional/mental, I will decide on a case by case basis and prefer it to be a temporary situation. It becomes very clear very quick which parents are truely sick and which ones are enjoying a free ride without their kiddo.

And to the poster who said they are paying us so it shouldn't matter... actually, it does. I find 99% of the time the children who have severe behavioral problems are the children who spend the least amount of time with their parents. This is my business, so YES, I do get to decide who I will take on/keep as clients Parents who obviously don't like spending time with their children are not parents I want to deal with on a regular basis!
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DaisyMamma 06:31 AM 10-02-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
If the situation is no longer working for you, then change it. You dont have to keep a kid there 50+ hours a week just because a parent is willing to pay for that.
True.
Go back to 8 hours. There is no reason not to.
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Cat Herder 07:12 AM 10-02-2012
Personally, I no longer care where the parents are during my open to close times. I don't ask, I just keep cell phone numbers programed in my phone for emergencies.

IMHO, The kids are here and safe. My program is 50 hours a week, for one set price (not attendance based), my group and family benefits from the routine, reliability and consistency of everyone keeping the same schedule.

As for the resentment, by not making exceptions to my policies I find I no longer feel taken advantage of. Simplifying has its rewards.
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daycare 07:18 AM 10-02-2012
Currently 4 of my families are stay at home moms and their child attends full time care.

I also have 1 family that has a full time nanny at home and the mom does not work. Their son comes 3 days a week from open to close.


I never question a persons needs. It keeps me in business.
I look at it as their choice.
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Blackcat31 07:22 AM 10-02-2012
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Personally, I no longer care where the parents are during my open to close times. I don't ask, I just keep cell phone numbers programed in my phone for emergencies.

IMHO, The kids are here and safe. My program is 50 hours a week, for one set price (not attendance based), my group and family benefits from the routine, reliability and consistency of everyone keeping the same schedule.

As for the resentment, by not making exceptions to my policies I find I no longer feel taken advantage of. Simplifying has its rewards.
I have to agree. It is hard enough managing the day let alone trying to manage what parents are or aren't doing outside of daycare while hteir kids are here.

The only difference is I charge a rate based on what parents need rather than just have everyone here all day every day.

How many of my parents are actually at work or at home or at Target, I have NO idea. They buy a certain block of time, pay for it and make sure they are reachable should I need to contact them.

I also don't believe that the children here the longest are the worst behaved children as one of my absolute best kids has been here M-F from open to close for the last 5 years now and one of my worst kids is only here 5 hours a day 3X a week.

I think it has very little to do with the amount of time spent in daycare but rather the quality of care/attention they get from their parents when they are NOT at care.

A kid who spends 3 hours of quality face time with their parents is much better off than the kid who spends 7 hours of time with their parent riding around in the back seat of the car or parked in front of the TV the whole time. kwim?
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E Daycare 07:27 AM 10-02-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
Currently 4 of my families are stay at home moms and their child attends full time care.

I also have 1 family that has a full time nanny at home and the mom does not work. Their son comes 3 days a week from open to close.


I never question a persons needs. It keeps me in business.
I look at it as their choice.
Same here until I went to part time this year and the parents got 3months notice. So as a favor (off day sitter became ill) I said I'd take on the other two days for this child. Ex pays daycare so sole custody parent gets free care. Now sole custody parent will be home and still won't fill in for the off day sitter but will choose to bring the kid here.

I get paid of course but Would rather have two days less pay (and dcp is fully aware of this) to be with my kid.

To each their own but the extent a parent takes to not be with their kid amazes me.

Someone said maybe the parent is depressed. I'm sure this is most of the case. Part of it stems from "leaving my kid boohoohoo ::cry cry cry::". Yet on time off for "stress days" it's "I slept from 8a-3p, boy I must've needed the break!".

Its an issue now. Kid was sick and I called "someone needs to get dck ASAP" as I have to throw out rugs and clean up my house now with other dck in tow and I didn't get one callback and dck was last to leave.

I don't have to do daycare but know my son enjoys the kids and I mostly do too. Until this crap happens.
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Willow 07:34 AM 10-02-2012
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
I only provide care to working parents, full time students, or parents on disability/maternity leave. The disability needs to be physical to the point that they cannot tend to their child. If the disibility is classified as emotional/mental, I will decide on a case by case basis and prefer it to be a temporary situation. It becomes very clear very quick which parents are truely sick and which ones are enjoying a free ride without their kiddo.

And to the poster who said they are paying us so it shouldn't matter... actually, it does. I find 99% of the time the children who have severe behavioral problems are the children who spend the least amount of time with their parents. This is my business, so YES, I do get to decide who I will take on/keep as clients Parents who obviously don't like spending time with their children are not parents I want to deal with on a regular basis!

I agree with this, it's how I operate too.




OP, if you want to change your phb to reflect your feelings on this and start emphasizing it during future interviews.
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canadiancare 07:57 AM 10-02-2012
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
I only provide care to working parents, full time students, or parents on disability/maternity leave. The disability needs to be physical to the point that they cannot tend to their child. If the disibility is classified as emotional/mental, I will decide on a case by case basis and prefer it to be a temporary situation. It becomes very clear very quick which parents are truely sick and which ones are enjoying a free ride without their kiddo.

And to the poster who said they are paying us so it shouldn't matter... actually, it does. I find 99% of the time the children who have severe behavioral problems are the children who spend the least amount of time with their parents. This is my business, so YES, I do get to decide who I will take on/keep as clients Parents who obviously don't like spending time with their children are not parents I want to deal with on a regular basis!
I do understand what you are saying which is why I put the final sentence that says "In the end you are in control of your clients. If you can't work with the current situation you can end the agreement within the terms of your contract." I am open from 06h30-16h30 M-F. My parents pay 35$ a day and I care for 5 FT kids. If I don't like the child's behaviour, that is an issue that is separate from how the parent is spending their time.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 08:56 AM 10-02-2012
If you change it, be prepared for the parent to leave. Some parents do not want to spend time with their children and will avoid it at any cost.

I used to work as an in-home attendant. That child had people with her from sun up (7:00am) to sun down (9:00pm) 7 days a week. If there wasn't a second shifter coming in that day, the Mom would look extremely beaten down and say, "I guess you can't stay. *BIG SIGH* I think we'll be ok. It will all be ok." The Dad would never spend time with his child beyond saying hi and bye. This was a married couple who had a person watching each of their 2 children daily. The funny thing? This Mom blogs about her "hard life" all the time and how hard it is to be a parent.
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providerandmomof4 12:19 PM 10-02-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:


I never question a persons needs. It keeps me in business.
I look at it as their choice.
This is how I used to feel and really still do. As long as they are here on time, they can do whatever they want. However, if dcd is paying for dc when they don't actually need it (because of dcm) this is where it becomes touchy. I had a similar situation and it ended with the non custodial parent pulling the child from dc and attempting full custody. I was right in the middle. I'm not sure what I would do in your situation because in mine...the custodial dcp paid for dc, even when he didn't need it, and dcm was livid cause she wanted dcg with her and not in dc. Soooo. I'm not sure if I wouldn't say something to both of the dcp and especially whomever pays for dc about not being able to cont working that many hrs. Maybe they will have to work it out themselves.regarding who will care for dcg when you can't.
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daycare 12:51 PM 10-02-2012
Originally Posted by E Daycare:
Same here until I went to part time this year and the parents got 3months notice. So as a favor (off day sitter became ill) I said I'd take on the other two days for this child. Ex pays daycare so sole custody parent gets free care. Now sole custody parent will be home and still won't fill in for the off day sitter but will choose to bring the kid here.

I get paid of course but Would rather have two days less pay (and dcp is fully aware of this) to be with my kid.

To each their own but the extent a parent takes to not be with their kid amazes me.

Someone said maybe the parent is depressed. I'm sure this is most of the case. Part of it stems from "leaving my kid boohoohoo ::cry cry cry::". Yet on time off for "stress days" it's "I slept from 8a-3p, boy I must've needed the break!".

Its an issue now. Kid was sick and I called "someone needs to get dck ASAP" as I have to throw out rugs and clean up my house now with other dck in tow and I didn't get one callback and dck was last to leave.

I don't have to do daycare but know my son enjoys the kids and I mostly do too. Until this crap happens.
I also love to do things to help families when I can. However, in the future, you need to make sure that they are aware that you are giving them special and make them sign a contract stating the new terms and conditions.

Example, if this was my client and I really wanted to help them out and it worked for me too, then i would have made a contract with terms that this new schedule will only be valid so long DCM still has the same work schedule.

I would have also included that the signer of the contract also understands that the daycare is normally closed on tuesdays and thursdays, however, have agreed to open to be able to accommodate DCP new schedule. Should parents schedule no longer have a need for full time care, parent will be expected to resort back to prior conditions of the previous part time contract???

Something to this extent..
when you offer special, we all know that it becomes expected. If you make sure that you give special with a contract and a full understanding, then I think it does help the parent to understand that you are giving them special and that YOU are laying the terms for it, not them.

anything that you don't want to do on a normal basis and it's only a temporary or one time thing, I would suggest writing up new terms and conditions for it.

like you let DCP slide on their late fee. I would be handing them something to sign that made them aware that I was waving the late fee this time, but next time they are getting one.... and so on
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littlemissmuffet 12:52 PM 10-02-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
Currently 4 of my families are stay at home moms and their child attends full time care.
I just REALLY have to point this out because it's bothering me.... but stay-at-home moms don't put their kids in daycare full time. Your moms are stay-at-home women.
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daycare 12:56 PM 10-02-2012
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
I just REALLY have to point this out because it's bothering me.... but stay-at-home moms don't put their kids in daycare full time. Your moms are stay-at-home women.
lol great point.... however, some of them do have other children at home. The one that I love the most is the SAHM that has one little one at home and two Nannies?? Still trying to figure it out. But it could be for reasons that I have no clue and I would never ask..
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rhymia1 01:00 PM 10-02-2012
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Personally, I no longer care where the parents are during my open to close times. I don't ask, I just keep cell phone numbers programed in my phone for emergencies.

IMHO, The kids are here and safe. My program is 50 hours a week, for one set price (not attendance based), my group and family benefits from the routine, reliability and consistency of everyone keeping the same schedule.

As for the resentment, by not making exceptions to my policies I find I no longer feel taken advantage of. Simplifying has its rewards.
This is what I have done.
I can understand in the OP's case it seems like she is working additional hours for this parent, something she agreed to because of the working schedule. So I can understand that if you are now working outside your normal working hours that this can be frustrating. I would probably tell her that you are going back to your orginal agreement as of x date. Then the next time she asks for extended hours, you'll know what the answer will be
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canadiancare 02:48 PM 10-02-2012
I have had parents keep their oldest with me while home on maternity leave with the baby a) so the baby gets special one on one the way the older child did and b) to save the spot so the baby can take it when she needs to go back to work. here most of the working moms get a year off so it often works out that when baby is ready for the spot, older sibling is ready to start school.
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E Daycare 05:01 AM 10-03-2012
Originally Posted by rhymia1:
This is what I have done.
I can understand in the OP's case it seems like she is working additional hours for this parent, something she agreed to because of the working schedule. So I can understand that if you are now working outside your normal working hours that this can be frustrating. I would probably tell her that you are going back to your orginal agreement as of x date. Then the next time she asks for extended hours, you'll know what the answer will be
This is exactly why. I'm only open 3days a week but made the exception for this child due to backup sitter unforeseen issues. This is the run down:

Ex pays for daycare

Ex also had it set up with the backup sitter to cut down on cost. Backup sitter got hurt.

Sole custody parent Asked for me to go full time the day my 3day contract went into effect.

Parents had 3mo to get their crap together before my 3 day schedule started.

Sole custody parent might be a sahp but still keep kid full time.

Sole custody parent keeps kid here 10hrs a day.

Dck and myself aren't too thrilled about the situation as dck is ALWAYS asking to go home.
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E Daycare 05:17 AM 10-03-2012
Also, will I be the bad guy that says:

" yeah I know you're not 'feeling well' but I need us to go back to our arranged schedule if you stay home"

This dckp is trying to get out of work due to being ill. When this happens how do I not seem so insensitive?

Dcp really lays the thick coating to being sooooo sick yet come the evening/weekend is magically better (possibly that 7hr nap did wonders). I'm not dcp so I can't vouch for what dcp is going through but after 3mo of favors will I be the bad guy who makes the dcp take cae of their own kid when they are so sick they need to take leave from work?

This is cutting into my own kids time. I know I sound super selfish and insensitive but this is not what I wanted and Im starting to burn out from it.

If parent stays home this favor ends the day after Halloween.
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canadiancare 05:21 AM 10-03-2012
if you only want to operate 3 days a week then it isn't your duty to offer extended care beyond your comfort level. This has nothing to do with whether she is working or not. This is the terms of your service. Give her a deadline and let her know that your 3 day schedule will be resuming after this time. It will be up to her to decide if she wants to stay with you on these terms.
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E Daycare 05:23 AM 10-03-2012
Originally Posted by canadiancare:
if you only want to operate 3 days a week then it isn't your duty to offer extended care beyond your comfort level. This has nothing to do with whether she is working or not. This is the terms of your service. Give her a deadline and let her know that your 3 day schedule will be resuming after this time. It will be up to her to decide if she wants to stay with you on these terms.
This is perfect!
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