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Parents and Guardians Forum>High Maintenance DCM How To Approach?
Angelwings36 07:30 AM 07-26-2012
I had a new family start with me this week. The 3 year old girl and 14 month old boy come on Tuesdays and Thursdays each week. When mom came to drop off all of my forms prior to the children's start date this Tuesday I was FLOORED to see what she had done with my child information form (the contact information for the children and medical/allergy background form). She had added one page per child of directions on how to interact with them based on their personality, what activities to offer them and what food to feed them. On her 14 month old son's child information form she even stated how I was suppose to treat him if he had a temper tantrum. This morning when she came in with the kids she instructed me on how I was suppose to put her 14 month old down for a nap. My transition into nap time starts at 12:00pm (we do diaper changes, get nap areas ready and then I read the children a story). The children then sleep from 12:30pm - 2:30pm and we transition out of nap time. She instructed me to let her 14 month old run around from 12:00pm (or right after lunch) until he poops then I am to lay him down and let him cry 5-10 minutes then go in to sooth him and so on and so forth. So I kindly reminded her (as per contract) how I do the transition into nap time and reassured her that if her son pooped during nap time I would go in and change him. It's obvious though that these "special" requests and orders are not going to stop anytime soon. How do I deal with this situation?
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mrsp'slilpeeps 08:11 AM 07-26-2012
If she wants special care, she pays special fees.
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Childminder 08:19 AM 07-26-2012
Give it a trial period of two weeks and then notify her that it is just not working out. Your house your rules. It will just turn into a huge problem and not be worth the $.
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nanglgrl 08:59 AM 07-26-2012
Oh my! Where do these crazy people come from? I would tell her that you have a schedule to follow and you have it so the group as a whole gets their needs met. Tell her you appreciate her information and tell her that she needs to trust you to be able to do your job, if not maybe a nanny would be a better fit for her.
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Lilbutterflie 09:11 AM 07-26-2012
Here is an example of a mom who believes she is the boss, you are an employee; rather than YOU are the boss offering a service that she is paying for. Somehow, you have to sit down and talk with her about the differences between those two things. Some parents just don't understand this concept until it's explained to them. Then, after the discussion, you can kindly let her know that if she does want everything done her own way; a nanny might better suit her needs.

One positive to this is that at least you are aware of the child's habits, discipline, eating behaviors, and schedule at home. It really helps when they are first beginning care!
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Holiday Park 03:11 AM 11-10-2012
I have one similar but she doesnt give instructions. She gave all these #'s for emergency contacts though , I can't argur with that cause then if her dd needs to be picked up she cant have an excuse for being late after I add a no layeness+ late fees rule. i have #'s for three aunt/uncles, boyh sets of grandparents and work, ad well as mom&dad, and each of those petson's home AND cells . thats a lot of contacts in my address book for 1kid. She just tells me stuff istead of asking. I'm about to make a new handbook and lay everything out on paper. And then she can agree to everything and continue care or choose to term wether it be emediately or when the terms come into affect.
I'm hoping to get a replacement lined up in case she chooses not to stay.
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MarinaVanessa 09:56 AM 11-12-2012
I would simply have a chat with her.

"Hi Susan, I was thinking about your list of suggestions that you attached to the forms. Thanks for giving me insight on what works for you and your kids at home, if I have any problems I'll make sure to reference them. I just want to make sure that we are on the same page here ... I need to make sure that you understand that this is my business and I have a routine and specific way that I run things here. Because I offer group care any suggestions from clients must be conducive to our routine, schedule and group care. ...."

So on and so forth. I think you should set boundaries for her and make sure that you explain that you run the show at daycare ... have the kids ever been in daycare before? Maybe she doesn't know how FCC or centers work ... sounds like she might think that you're a babysitter or Nanny rather than a daycare.

If you don't say something it'll only leave the door open for more .... suggestions ... from mom.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:47 AM 11-12-2012


"I understand that you have a routine that works well for you at home, but we have a routine that works well for us here at school. I appreciate you taking the time to write down things you think might be helpful for me to know." is what I'd be saying with a big smile.
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