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Old 07-19-2018, 05:27 AM
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I have a DCB 2.5 who was my first client. Being new to being a childcare provider at the time I pushed my hours back to accommodate this family. Close at 5:30, they needed until 6 and because I wasnít getting anywhere I decided to stay open until 6. All my other families are gone by 5 at the latest, sometimes 4:30. Iím just done being available this late for one child but hereís the kicker, mom and dad both have a day off during the week but DCB is here 5 days a week no matter what. From 7am-6pm. This is the same family that went on vacation, left DCB with the neighbor, came home on weds but brought him to care Thursday and Friday even though they were still off for the rest of the week. He is here Monday through Friday 7am-6pm, goes to the neighbors Friday night to stay the night and get picked up around 4 on Saturday from the neighbor. Iíve also caught on to the fact that they arenít working until 6 but mom usually goes shopping, goes home and watches tv (posts pictures on Facebook where I can see) or basically anything that involves her kid being here until 5:56 everyday. The incident that kind of pushed me over the edge was me needing to run errands one evening so everyone was ready to go out the door, DCB was sitting on the porch while I started my car. I saw mom pull from a side street (itís a cul de sac with maybe 10 houses on the street) on our country rd and pull into my driveway at 5:57. So what she did was pull down that rd and waited for idk how long until it was as close to 6 as possible and then came to get her child. I was pissed, like who does that.

Anyways, I am going back n forth on just telling them that my new hrs are that I close at 5:30 and maybe they will eventually leave or term them but Iíve never had any discussions with them that a term would come as a surprise. And they may make the 5:30 close time work but Iím feeling really resentful.

My husband has a completely different outlook to it in that his parents obviously donít care much about him and that we should provide a safe, loving place for him that has some normalcy blah blah blah but heís literally not the one stuck providing care for him. DCB is a good child, definitely attention starved but I donít know what to do. OR should I have a different outlook on this situation? Enlighten me with your advice please!
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Old 07-19-2018, 05:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ac114 View Post
I have a DCB 2.5 who was my first client. Being new to being a childcare provider at the time I pushed my hours back to accommodate this family. Close at 5:30, they needed until 6 and because I wasnít getting anywhere I decided to stay open until 6. All my other families are gone by 5 at the latest, sometimes 4:30. Iím just done being available this late for one child but hereís the kicker, mom and dad both have a day off during the week but DCB is here 5 days a week no matter what. From 7am-6pm. This is the same family that went on vacation, left DCB with the neighbor, came home on weds but brought him to care Thursday and Friday even though they were still off for the rest of the week. He is here Monday through Friday 7am-6pm, goes to the neighbors Friday night to stay the night and get picked up around 4 on Saturday from the neighbor. Iíve also caught on to the fact that they arenít working until 6 but mom usually goes shopping, goes home and watches tv (posts pictures on Facebook where I can see) or basically anything that involves her kid being here until 5:56 everyday. The incident that kind of pushed me over the edge was me needing to run errands one evening so everyone was ready to go out the door, DCB was sitting on the porch while I started my car. I saw mom pull from a side street (itís a cul de sac with maybe 10 houses on the street) on our country rd and pull into my driveway at 5:57. So what she did was pull down that rd and waited for idk how long until it was as close to 6 as possible and then came to get her child. I was pissed, like who does that.

Anyways, I am going back n forth on just telling them that my new hrs are that I close at 5:30 and maybe they will eventually leave or term them but Iíve never had any discussions with them that a term would come as a surprise. And they may make the 5:30 close time work but Iím feeling really resentful.

My husband has a completely different outlook to it in that his parents obviously donít care much about him and that we should provide a safe, loving place for him that has some normalcy blah blah blah but heís literally not the one stuck providing care for him. DCB is a good child, definitely attention starved but I donít know what to do. OR should I have a different outlook on this situation? Enlighten me with your advice please!
My heart hurt reading this. Is he their only child? Just curious how if not how the other children are treated.
I would close at the time you need to and they make it work or hit the road! Sorry for that poor sweet boy but mom needs to be a damn mom! Excuse my language but who sits in their car doing nothing waiting until exactly 6pm to pick their kid up? I have a similar situation but not that bad. I was on vacation the week of the 4th. My 2.5 year old dcb comes back to me all sick with no fever that i could prove but fell over just walking. I sent him home and guess what hes dehydrated. Mom is off today and tomorrow and he is here. She works weekends when she is off during the week. So little interaction and then hes back here Monday.
I would not stay open later for them. I would not do it!!
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Old 07-19-2018, 05:57 AM
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I would tell my DH that although I appreciate his opinion, I learned a valuable lesson and need to enforce my own policies consistently. That by allowing this one family to change my schedule I set up an expectation that I am not willing to continue.

I agree the child deserves better but disagree that that means I should take up the slack. The best way for me to advocate for this child is to give his parents a no for their behaviour. Validating their escapism as socially acceptable would be the bigger failure over the course of this child's life.

I would tell the parents that 6pm is no longer working for you, that you worked with them as long as you could but as of Monday, July 23rd, your closing time of 530 pm will resume.

Like a favorite educational leaders says. Parent. It's a verb.
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  #4  
Old 07-19-2018, 06:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ac114 View Post
I have a DCB 2.5 who was my first client. Being new to being a childcare provider at the time I pushed my hours back to accommodate this family. Close at 5:30, they needed until 6 and because I wasnít getting anywhere I decided to stay open until 6. All my other families are gone by 5 at the latest, sometimes 4:30. Iím just done being available this late for one child but hereís the kicker, mom and dad both have a day off during the week but DCB is here 5 days a week no matter what. From 7am-6pm. This is the same family that went on vacation, left DCB with the neighbor, came home on weds but brought him to care Thursday and Friday even though they were still off for the rest of the week. He is here Monday through Friday 7am-6pm, goes to the neighbors Friday night to stay the night and get picked up around 4 on Saturday from the neighbor. Iíve also caught on to the fact that they arenít working until 6 but mom usually goes shopping, goes home and watches tv (posts pictures on Facebook where I can see) or basically anything that involves her kid being here until 5:56 everyday. The incident that kind of pushed me over the edge was me needing to run errands one evening so everyone was ready to go out the door, DCB was sitting on the porch while I started my car. I saw mom pull from a side street (itís a cul de sac with maybe 10 houses on the street) on our country rd and pull into my driveway at 5:57. So what she did was pull down that rd and waited for idk how long until it was as close to 6 as possible and then came to get her child. I was pissed, like who does that.

Anyways, I am going back n forth on just telling them that my new hrs are that I close at 5:30 and maybe they will eventually leave or term them but Iíve never had any discussions with them that a term would come as a surprise. And they may make the 5:30 close time work but Iím feeling really resentful.

My husband has a completely different outlook to it in that his parents obviously donít care much about him and that we should provide a safe, loving place for him that has some normalcy blah blah blah but heís literally not the one stuck providing care for him. DCB is a good child, definitely attention starved but I donít know what to do. OR should I have a different outlook on this situation? Enlighten me with your advice please!
The parents are only using what they pay for.

You provided a rate and hours. They are using them.

I disagree with your DH because many families view having their child in daycare all day as normal. Because sadly it is.
Also 'saving' other people's children from what we (general we) view as a sad or less-than-perfect life is not our jobs.
If your DH feels that strongly about it, he can always devote his time after 5:00 and spend the time being a mentor figure to DCB. In other words, he can be on your DH's watch for that time not yours.

I would stop worrying about what the family is/isnt doing (actually working or not) and just straight up change your hours to suit YOU. I charge according to pick up time.

I used to have children (almost all of them) here from open to close. No one had any family or friends willing to pick up earlier than on the dot at closing time.

Then I started using the graduated rate scale (the longer/later you stay = the more the rate) and suddenly every single family I had knew a friend, neighbor or relative willing to pick up their kid early so they could save a few $'s.

If you want to close at 5:00; close at 5:00.
The family can stay and accommodate the new closing time or find alternate care. Their choice.

If you want to keep family then close at 5:00 but charge a premium for care after 5:00 if you feel the family truly needs that time. If they do, they'll pay for it. I'd charge atleast 2.5 times more for that last hour.

Personally, which ever decision you make it really should be with YOUR best interests in mind NOT the DC family.
They'll figure it out either way but it's important to remember that this job sucks the life out of you if you let it. So don't let it. YOU COME FIRST!!
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Old 07-19-2018, 06:29 AM
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I also vote close earlier.I would send a notice that beginning August 6th new hours are provided.In your situation I would close at 5 pm.If they need more time I would charge extra for 5-5:30 at least 10.00.Only if you really think they need it to work .Otherwise closing time is 5 pm sorry if that doesn't work.I always felt they should want to be with their child,but it is not the case .Children do like to be with their friends and parents figure I pay for it so I might as well use it.Do what works for you they will make it work or move on.
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Old 07-19-2018, 07:34 AM
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I agree with the previous posters. Close when you need to, and let them figure it out. It's obvious they are taking advantage of you. You can provide a caring environment for this child during the hours you are available. Don't be guilt tripped into extending your hours anymore, or else the resentment will continue to build.
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Old 07-19-2018, 08:06 AM
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Do what you need to do for you.

Whether we like it or not, we can not change the home dynamics of the kids we bring in. Even the influence we do have is limited in time and resources.
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Old 07-19-2018, 08:36 AM
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So what time do the parents actually get out of work? She probably was flapping on her phone in the car when she parked down the street. I would find out what time they truly get out of work and set my close time 15 minutes after that. I have a similar situation with one of my families that has 2 with me. She gets out at either 2:30 or 3:00 and picks up at 5:15 (my closing time) and drives right by me to get home. Brings the kids every time they have a day off for the entire time etc. She is one of my recent late payers too to boot. So, starting this Friday, my closing time is getting changed to 5:00. Everyone else picks up by then on Friday and since she gets out a few hours before that, it shouldn't be a problem for her. I would change your time absolutely.
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Old 07-19-2018, 08:36 AM
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I had this situation with my first day care family when I first opened.... except I knew DCM actually needed the hours due to work.

Once my enrollments were up and I was in a financial position to afford them withdrawing I gave them notice of my new hours - it was then their choice to stay or go. I gave them slightly more than 30 days notice so they could meet their required 30 days notice if they needed to find care elsewhere. I slashed my hours significantly was closing at 5:30pm for their family, switched to closing at 3:00pm so I offered an adjusted tuition price but if it was only a slight difference as in your case I would not adjust my prices.

I will add that I have learned parents often will utilize my full open and close hours. They pay for my services during the hours outlined in my contract and I feel it is not my concern what they do in that time --- if they want to grocery shop and do yoga, or be ladies who lunch, or work it is not my concern as long as they pay and pick up on time. One way I approached this reality of parents waiting until a minute before closing to pick up was to pad my close time 30 minutes before I wanted to actually be off work - in example if you needed/wanted to be "off" by 6:00pm, set your close time as 5:30pm. This was something I learned from this forum and it has helped so much!

Best of luck.
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Old 07-19-2018, 08:37 AM
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I would change my hours to 5:00PM and not give it a second thought. You canít change the way a person parents or how much time they spend with their children. You canít only change what you are allowing. Give two weeks notice that your hours are changing to 5:00PM and they can accommodate or leave.
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Old 07-19-2018, 09:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo View Post
So what time do the parents actually get out of work? She probably was flapping on her phone in the car when she parked down the street. I would find out what time they truly get out of work and set my close time 15 minutes after that. I have a similar situation with one of my families that has 2 with me. She gets out at either 2:30 or 3:00 and picks up at 5:15 (my closing time) and drives right by me to get home. Brings the kids every time they have a day off for the entire time etc. She is one of my recent late payers too to boot. So, starting this Friday, my closing time is getting changed to 5:00. Everyone else picks up by then on Friday and since she gets out a few hours before that, it shouldn't be a problem for her. I would change your time absolutely.
Both parents are in retail management so their hours vary everyday. Both are required to work Saturdays so they each have one day off during the week. Dad has a uniform he has to wear for work so I know heís off when he comes in gym clothes or regular clothes. Dad has a pretty set schedule where he is off by 5:30 everyday but moms is all over the place where one day she may get off at 2 and other days sheís off at 8pm. I know sheís usually off early by her Facebook posts or dad slips and says yes mommyís home or ugh ugh she should be on her way type of thing.

Hindsight is always 20/20 because I remember in their interview she mentioned having to leave their previous sitter because of a change in hours and it apparently turned into a really nasty argument and previous sitter called her a horrible mom. Obviously previous sitter caught on too and was tired of being used up. She has him from 6 weeks until 20 months.

Iím going to change my hours until 5. I think that is what I really want. I want my kids to be in sports and just be able to enjoy life and sometimes that one hour prevents that for our family! I knew you ladies would have good advice!
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Old 07-19-2018, 09:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ac114 View Post
Both parents are in retail management so their hours vary everyday. Both are required to work Saturdays so they each have one day off during the week. Dad has a uniform he has to wear for work so I know he’s off when he comes in gym clothes or regular clothes. Dad has a pretty set schedule where he is off by 5:30 everyday but moms is all over the place where one day she may get off at 2 and other days she’s off at 8pm. I know she’s usually off early by her Facebook posts or dad slips and says yes mommy’s home or ugh ugh she should be on her way type of thing.

Hindsight is always 20/20 because I remember in their interview she mentioned having to leave their previous sitter because of a change in hours and it apparently turned into a really nasty argument and previous sitter called her a horrible mom. Obviously previous sitter caught on too and was tired of being used up. She has him from 6 weeks until 20 months.

I’m going to change my hours until 5. I think that is what I really want. I want my kids to be in sports and just be able to enjoy life and sometimes that one hour prevents that for our family! I knew you ladies would have good advice!
Close earlier let it be their issue. Clearly they only need maybe 1 or 2 days until 6 pm but you would never know as mom is not honest. I would be annoyed if they know you actually close at 5:30 and on their days off they still leave their child there until the last possible second. They are missing out on that time.So I guess they only spend 1 full day with their child every week. Do not worry about what they have going on.
I close at 5 and when I first started out to fill spots I stayed open until 630. I had a mom who took advantage and sometimes not pick her son up until 7 or even 730! I gave her notice and changed my hours to 5. I still get phone calls with annoyed people that cannot believe I do not stay open until 6 or later.
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Old 07-19-2018, 10:04 AM
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So glad you decided to close at 5!!! For your own sanity and for the good of your own family too. It feels like we sacrifice way too much of our own health, time, sanity, family, etc., to appease dcfs. It should NOT be that way. Our own kids are only young once and looking back, I was able to do a lot with my own kids, but I also missed out on a lot too. There are no do-overs, make your own family your priority, even if other families don't. And I find parents who take advantage of dc a a place to leave their kid/s just because they can, is a sad situation. All those hours/days they'll never get back. All those moments of laughter and firsts, gone. And ya know what? As much as I love the sensitivity your dh is showing, he needs to know how it affects you and your own family too. You can't take care of everybody, especially if the dcf isn't even willing to take care of their own.
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Old 07-19-2018, 02:31 PM
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As my mom used to tell me - you can't save the world child by child.

Do what works best for you.
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