I am so angry right now and I don't know if it's justified. I got up at 6 this morning and saw that I had a text from a new dcm sent the night before when I was asleep. Couldn't read it without my contacts so I just jumped in the shower and then put them in. When I got out of the shower, I heard a banging on my front door, looked out and there was DCM and her kid. I remember the text so I go back to read it and she's TELLING me that she's dropping off DCG at 6:30 (instead of her normal 8 am dropoff) because she has a 7 am doctor's appointment. So I have wet hair and a robe on when I get to the door, and the little girl starts in with ''Where were you, we've been knocking!"
I told DCM that I didn't get the text until this morning and I need to approve any schedule changes. I might feel a little better if she was remotely apologetic, but she wasn't. I told her we'd discuss this at pickup and she said she was probably going to be a few minutes late because she'd get to work late this morning. I just told her to read the contract because late charges will apply... How would you handle this?

Wow, did you take her at 6:30? I can't believe the nerve of some people. Since she's new, I would assume she doesn't realize that you don't work for her. I would just highlight the areas in her contract that talk about early and late drop offs and hand it to her.

I would have told her NO at the door.

"Sorry dcm, you did not notify me of your schedule change at least 24 hours in advance so I am unable to request your change." and then I would have told her "See you at 8!" and closed the door. NOPE. I only do schedule changes when I feel like it. I charge extra for them. I have a max # of hours and contracted times for a reason.

7 am doctor appt?

Not knowing about it until the night before?

Sounds like total BS to me.

Ohhhh heck no!
I wouldn't have been as nice as you were.

I wouldn't have opened the door and she would have gotten a return text AT OPENING that I do not accept drop ins and she is not allowed to drop off or pick up anytime beyond her contracted timeframe.

I would have turned her away. A big part of the reason is she is new and didn't follow policy. I would be afraid this would become a habit if I let them in. I would let her know in no uncertain terms if this happened again I would term her on the spot.

What doc opens at 7 am? Sounds like she either went in early to make up time for leaving to go to appointment or she had an appointment at Starbucks with her friends.

Why was it so hard to just say no to her?

Our clinics are open at 7am here. So is my dentist

Well. Water over the bridge now, charge her your biggest contractually allowed fee.
Text it to her::

Hey mom. Your fee for early drop off is ($$) and needs to be paid in cash at pick up or an additional fee will be charged. Care will not be resumed until it's paid.

Plus at pickup there would be a severe lecture about curtesy, respect, and procedure.
I might say something like,

"This mornings events will NOT be repeated. You had no confirmation of me even receiving your message, let alone knowledge of me being able to accommodate an early drop off. This is the only warning I will give. If this happens again I will answer the door with your child's belongings and care will be terminated immediately. Your extra fee for this morning is($$) and needs to be paid in full immediately. "

Oh no, not another one!!!! I would absolutely charge her and make care unavailable to her until it is paid. You need to set the tone with this one for sure. That is just plain unacceptable and I wouldn't allow for a late pickup either.

It wasn't so hard to just say no to her. I opened the door because they were banging on it, and truthfully, I was just
stunned by the situation. She said that she had forgotten about the appointment until last night - and we do have doctors in this city who open super early to accommodate people who work, so I do believe that. She is coming from a center, where I guess early drop offs are allowed. I don't know. But I do know that we went over change of schedules during the interview and I stressed to her - and all my clients - that it is totally my discretion whether I can accommodate. She knows the rule and just didn't care or didn't think it would matter.
And I hate to say it, but the little girl annoyed me big-time, with her hand on her hip spouting off to me. Ugh. This is only their second week.

I think some parents think all we emphasize on during interview is for the "other" parents. Really gets on my nerves! I had a child come in yesterday with a large blanket, goggles, stuffed bear, and sunglasses....I stopped them before entering....the parent said "you want me to discard of these don't you"...I said "YES"...... Here's your sign is what i want to say

Whoa the little girl said that to you? Holy cow. Guess she learns her lack of respect from momma. How old is the little girl? I totally understand being stuck in the moment and I'm sure you'll explain how things are going to work in the future and I bet this won't happen again. At least for you. She may try it, but you'll be ready next time!

I have a hard time reacting when I get caught off guard also, so I totally get that. But now is the time to make sure she knows it isn't okay. You can do it at pickup. When you do just say something like "you caught me off guard this morning and put me on the spot, but I will not allow this to happen again without procedure being followed. The fee for a last minute schedule change will be $XX from here on out.".

I don't think well before coffee, so I can see letting them in stunned I have started trying to take a breath and process before reacting lately. It helps a little.

I would put them on notice (this is the only warning) and I would probably be interviewing just in case

Yeah this used to happen to me ALOT! I figured out a couple of ways to ensure it doesn't happen, at least not that often.

First of all, I try really hard not to react in the moment so that I don't loose control of the situation.

Second, I have a schedule change request form that I post on my website for the parents to submit for APPROVAL.

Third, I send out random reminders of contract terms, extended day fees, etc. There are a couple that I think this mom should see.

If you would like to see my form or the reminders I use, just send me a PM with your email and I would be happy to share.

BTW: You are so right to refer to your contract. The only thing is most parents don't seem to read those kinds of things.

Well, she was 16 minutes late, and because she was late there were other parents here so I told her I would call her tonight to discuss today's debacle. It's clear now that she believes she is my boss. She told me that she didn't mean to upset me but she doesn't understand what the big deal is because I am a daycare, aren't I, and aren't we here to work with parents and their schedules? So we will be having a big discussion tonight.

Uh oh...Good Luck tonight, set her straight and fast or find someone else. Good grief...Can't wait to hear how this convo goes! I would be sure to let her know you aren't just a "daycare" but a business owner with a very clear contract that she just recently signed, did she even read it??

Good luck tonight. Keep us updated.

I charge $10 per hour outside my normal hours so if she gets dropped off at 6:30am when she is contracted for 8am then that is an extra $15 added to the daily fee, plus late fees for pickup.

Make it very clear to mom that you cannot operate the way a center does because there is one staff member. Centers rotate shifts so they can provide extended hours, but no staff member works more than 8 hours a day. Tell her you can accept her child outside of contracted hours for a fee with 24 hr notice at your discretion. You provide a service within a specific time frame. She can either adhere to the policies or go back to centre care.

Lol, someone didn't read their contract >_<

That would make me grrr....none of us have nothing better to do right? Keep us updated!! I'll get the popcorn!

I left a message a couple of hours ago and she has not called back. I don't have any idea what she is thinking. She'd better call me tonight because 8 am dropoffs are very hectic and there won't be time then to have the kind of talk I want.

Yes, would love to see the forms!

I would send her an email outlining the issues and the fees that she is owing. Now before drop off.

If she hasn't called back, and arrives to drop off at a busy time, even have a print out of the email to hand her to read before she leaves. "Good morning, dcm. You didn't call me back last night or respond to my email so I wanted to make sure that you saw this before dropping off this morning."

Then tell her to go and get the late fees, with her child, before returning. Smile sweetly.

Oh boy. She's a fun one.
Replace replace replace. Because you KNOW these kinds of things will happen again with someone who feels this way.

I'm hoping to avoid that because it's such a process starting a new family. Sigh. But I'm afraid you're right. She texted me last night that she had unexpected company and was sorry she didn't have time to talk. I was sorry, too, that she couldn't manage to call. In my voicemail, I told her that she had to bring in cash for the late-fee and for the unscheduled hours. She should be here in a few minutes, so we'll see how it goes.

So how did it go???

Hope it went ok this morning.

She didn't see what the big deal was even though you came to the door with wet hair and in a robe? I would not even discuss this with her further, I would terminate immediately, and I never term. That kind of disrespect would not fly with me at all.

She came 10 mins early, which was good because it gave me time to talk to her while no other parents were around. She brought the money she owed me, but she wasn't happy at all because she thought I was really sticking it to her (her words). The experience yesterday cost her $55. She thought since it was her first time being late I'd give her a break! But I warned her yesterday morning, and she still was late, so...
I told her that it was irresponsible and disrespectful just to show up at my door when I didn't approve it ahead of time, and that I should never have - and will never happen again - accept her child under that circumstance. We left at loggerheads because she thinks that daycare providers need to ''work with'' working parents because they need flexibility. I suggested that perhaps what she needed was a nanny. It's very disheartening because I went over all of this during the interview process, and now she acts like she has no idea what I'm talking about. It wasn't a good conversation, and I just feel very yucky right now. I just gotta figure out now if I want to ditch her before she ditches me.

Nope. She has a big corporate job and obviously thinks her time is a whole lot more important than mine.

So by "work with" she means do it her way? Maybe if she would have told you ahead of time that she needed to be early, you would have "worked with her". Some people. grrr

I agree with her....but I won't work for free.

I would tell her she has two options. Schedule AND pay for the time she needs ahead of time so she isn't late or early or continue to pay the fee for non-scheduled over time.

I would explain it to her that way too....she would not provide her employer with free services or clock in with out expecting her paycheck to reflect the work she has done so why is she expecting that from you?

haha on her.... because YOU can still work with out her but she can't work without you so who's job is more important?!?!

Well, she'll probably find someone else who works for peanuts or else go back to center based care. I'm curious why she left in the first place unless she had no clue how family providers work.
I hate it when 'important' people think others are beneath them. And it's not even big wigs, it could be anyone. One of my pet peeves in life.
I love it when she pretty much placed the blame on you for not working with her. IF she had remembered her so-called appt. and notified you ahead of time, plus paid you a higher rate for the day, the whole thing could have had a much better outcome. But assuming you'd be there, waiting with open arms for her and loving it....well uhuh, ain't gonna happen. Those who treat me with respect will receive the same treatment in kind and those who don't.......

That is a GREAT way of looking at it. Thank you, BC!
There is a ton of entitlement with this DCM. In my experience, when a client beseeches you to ''work with'' them, they really mean that I should just shut up and do what they say. I am sure she believed I gouged her for the OT yesterday. The thing is, she would have known how much that 90 mins. would cost if she had asked beforehand. I really treasure my morning time, and I'd rather have the solitude than the money. She's lucky my DH wasn't home, because he'd really, really not like that door-banging.

You're right. I would have been much more receptive if she had shown me the tiniest bit of humility and/or respect. And I know her DD is going to head that way, too. I love how sweet she was when interviewing, and how her true colors show once she doesn't get her way. How do I get people to show their true colors when interviewing??

Hugs, and I am so sorry. I hate dealing with this crap.

Great comments, everyone! And I love the idea of the forms posted for requesting a schedule change! Brilliant!

I try to have fees in my contract that offset the pain of bad behavior from parents if they get crazy. But there's some behavior that no amount of money can compensate for. And her treating you with that disrespect--I don't know if I could handle that.

So she dropped off at 6:30 instead of her normal 8:00. What time does your first child normally come? I don't have kids until 7:30, so i would be blown away if someone showed up at 6:30

I would have shot right back at her that you feel the same way with parents 'working with' you as well. A normal person would assume that if you didn't get a response from someone either they didn't get the message or haven't been able to respond. In this case, she never gave you time to.
I had a mom once take the day off, yay, I could sleep in another hour!! I get a phone call with a vm saying that she needed me to take her kid in 10 min so she could go to a dr appt. Needless to say, I shut my phone off and she never got a response until later when I told her that I could not be available on a whim. She termed a week later, which hurt me financially but I wanted her to know that I was not at her beck and call. And I've written a strict policy on it to avoid this situation in the future.

I have a DCB come at 7 am twice a week (and I do this strictly as a favor for my good friend), and this is the argument that DCM chose - that I already had a kid coming early anyway, and what was the big deal about having another one. She really is just geared toward center-based thinking. But, you know, there's still a big difference between 6:30 am and 7 am. And yesterday was not his day to come anyway...But of course she didn't know that, because it's not her business how early anybody else comes.

No I would not have appreciated that at all. So on a day that you're not expecting anyone at all, she shows up at 6:30 instead of 8:00. Outrageous. Even at a center I'm pretty sure they stick to schedules due to staffing. She needs to be put in her place.

Since you are still within the 2 week trial I would let her go and find someone else that you mesh with better. I think that based on what you have said her attitude will keep rearing it's ugly head and you will continue to have problems with her IMO.

Omg, if I do this, it will be my second termination in two months. That's terrible.

Don't look at it that way. It just is what it is

I've been at this for 30 plus years now. There have been times when I go YEARS with a nice steady group of clients and then for some reason get a whole bunch of (insert expletives here).......!!!!

But do you really want to deal with her for the next year +? I mean if think getting a new family started vs dealing with her for even another 2 months would be less work/stress/hasle.

This will happen again. And again. No matter what you say, she will keep doing things like this and telling you that YOU need to get in line. This kind of person will never see it from your perspective. She is right and you are wrong in her eyes. You will never be able to tell her differently and she WILL leave without giving you notice when it suits her, she will not pay you two weeks notice ( if that's what your contract says) because she is going to be one of those people that thinks that doesn't apply to her And that you should work with her and let her off Scott free. " because he's a working mom" and "what's the big deal about not giving a measly two week notice"

Grrrr this burns me. Reminds me of my first family. She left owing me $2,800 (I know, I know. I've learned a lot since then). When I told her she needed to pay me she told me she "shouldn't have to pay" me and "what was the big deal? You don't need the money since you can afford to work from home"

This is exactly what has happened to me in the last year or so. Just one difficult drama-queen DCM after another. My DH is starting to get really sick of hearing my complaints....

I think a lot of our husbands probably feel that way!

I had a dcm just like this. I put up with one thing after another for months before finally terming. Never again. Not even worth it.

I agree with Meeko. There are great dcps and there are not so great ones. Life's too short to deal with the ones who don't respect you.

Yeah, no center I know would have even been open at 6:30 either. All the places I know here (have worked or subbed for), they open at 7:30-8! No one would be there. She'd be sitting in the parking lot. The staff barely gets in before the first parents because the center isn't going to pay for staff with no children in care. All cleaning and prep is done the evening before while the last of the kids are still there in in the morning while caring for children. Then the staff leaves just minutes past the last child. As far as I've seen, centers are pretty strict on all the rules. But, different in different centers. I don't think she knows center or fcc style- she just knows HER style lol. And it aint gonna fly anywhere. Guess she'll get with the program eventually- after getting kicked out of various places.

That's why we're all here!! Vent to us. We understand and most can relate to what you're talking about!

totally agree!

Centers in my area are open from 6AM to 6:30PM. There was one I saw a couple of years ago that was open from 5:30AM to 8PM.

That's why it's called a trial period Don't think of it as terming, you gave her a trial run and you can see it's not going to work out for the long term!

5:05 pm and she is not here yet!

No way...you are way nicer than I.

I would be telling this lady, sorry, it sounds like you either need to go to a center or hire a nanny. I would not even try to make this work at this point. Two week trial period still going on? Let them go now.

Collect late fees monday morning and then issue termination.

I think I would be terming on the spot. Sounds like she is trying to engage you in a power struggle to me.

What hours was her original contract for?
I don't blame you for being upset. She's either being vengeful now or clearly doesn't care.
Wonder what time she showed up?

When did she arrive Tasha? What happened? I'm dying to know.

She arrived at 5:30 on the dot. I'm sorry, I've had to spend the last few minutes after she left collecting myself because my heart is racing so fast.
She comes rushing in and before I even say anything, she blurts out, ''I've got to change my hours. This isn't working.'' I said, you're right. You owe me $39. I cannot believe you did this again today, and I cannot believe you did not even call. She asks if I am really going to charge her for that because it's clear she's rushing from work and can't make it by 5 every day! So she says that she is going to just change her hours to 6 pm! I tell her I have no intention of working until 6 each night and that she cannot just unilaterally decide what her hours are going to be, and just decide that it is A-OK for her to show up 30 minutes late (even though obviously it's not a financial hardship). I had put her DD on the couch and turned on the Disney Channel while she waited and DCM had the nerve to side-eye the TV! She handed me two $20s and said that she is going to go home and talk to her husband and try and figure out her hours. I told her that was fine because I just wanted her gone. There is nobody else here and I didn't want to term that loon with just us in the house. She seemed very hurried but she certainly wasn't upset like I was. And she never apologized.
And now I have got to calm down.

Big breath.

It clearly is not a good fit. She needs a daycare that is open longer than you are willing to be. And that is exactly the reason I would give her when/if you term. There is nothing wrong with her needing longer care, you just aren't the provider that is able to do that for her.

Thank goodness for trial periods!

years ago I had a family that signed with me because i was almost $120 cheaper than the center they were using. I THOUGHT I made it very clear to her that I would only be woking on contracted hours that we agreed to when they enrolled. Hints why we are that much cheaper.

Well day 1 she was 30 min late, I let it slide (mistake) day 2 she was 20 min late, $20. Every day it was something else either early or late and by the end of the week she had paid me more in late fees that she would have paid the center. She didn't make it to week 2.

I would leave things for now since you are so worked up, but I would type up an email on Sunday and tell her that either after much thought you realized you guys are not the right fit or you will give her another chance, but she will not be late or early one more time. If she is, you will term on the spot.

I am very embarrassed because I did start to get really worked up while she was here. So when I said I needed her to leave, I meant it. I could feel my voice begin to tighten, and I started to get shrill. I just became so exasperated because it was like we were talking past each other. She is just clueless, and I think she is very used to getting her own way.

Aaahh don't fret about how you feel you're only human and if I were you I would probably be livid too.

Hopefully you will work this out by either terming or kickin her little butt in gear.

She is just used to being a bully. Big corporate women are like this, they are very masculine in their demeanor.

I always get embarrassed too because I usually turn red when I get angry. Not fun! It does get easier though. Whenever I confront a parent I am always very aware of my thoughts. Thoughts like "how dare she" or "oh no I am turning red" make everything way worse. YOU are in control here. She is not.

Are you open to having her pay each time she is late? Or are you open to charging her a premium daily rate whether she is late or not? Do you want to "work with her" in a way that also works for you? Maybe you can come up with a solution that works for both of you. Right now you are feeling like she doesn't respect you. Take that emotion out of it and what are you left with? This is YOUR business and you don't want to term so come up with a plan and present it to her. Don't wait for her to come to you with a plan.

I have had to renegotiate contracts a few weeks in many times to terms that work for both me and the parent.

I'm mostly a lurker here, but I have been following this thread since your first post and check back for updates. I have dealt with this type of mother before, because I was this mother a few years ago. I never thought anything was my fault -- being late or forgetting a doctor's appointment was always someone else's fault: work, traffic, brain farts, husband, etc. And I expected everyone to be understanding of my forgetfulness and lateness. Because I only truly cared about getting my way and not owing my sh*t. And the best part, if someone else was late or forgetful, I had zero understanding or sympathy (like when she gave you an attitude for having to wait when she showed up 1.5 hrs early).

I used to think "why is my daycare provider making such a big deal about 15 minutes?" "What's her problem?" And yes, I would have used my kids watching Disney to somehow justify my behavior: "Yes, I was early, then late and late again, but OMG can you believe the kids were watching television?" Because I honestly did not care about anyone else, but myself. This is hard to type, honestly. I was a self-consumed and self-centered nightmare. Thankfully, I realized what a total a**h*e I was being to everyone and decided to change. I think it was easier for me; because I was not that type of person my whole life, so I began to see a person I did not recognize or like.

I am typing all of this, because I see so much of old self in this woman. I am sure you already know this, but she is not going to change. She needs someone who never bends and never gives in. However, I cannot imagine that being a lot of fun for you and just not worth it. She will have some "thing" every other day. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are doing a good thing for her by sticking to your policies and terminating her. Hopefully, she will "get it" eventually

Wow, Ms. Glitter. Thank you for sharing this. I hate to say it, but you do describe her to a T. I completely agree that she is very, very high-maintenance, there will always be something that will drive me nuts, she will always want ''special,'' and that I am not the right provider for her.

Thank you, Daycare. Everybody warned me to have my ducks in a row and have her termination papers ready for her this afternoon. I should have listened and now I am kicking myself.

High-maintenance -- perfect description .

I would tell her that it just isn't a good fit. Plus, this is making you angry and that is a bad way to start a new relationship with a client. I don't blame you at all, I would be pretty ticked and wouldn't have been able to hold back when she showed up late without a phone call, I would have termed on the spot...don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. I think you know what you have to do at this point for your sanity, this DCM clearly doesn't care and is going to try to walk all over you. Save yourself the strain and just term.

I once heard someone ask a psychiatrist to help them understand why they are always late. The psychiatrist said he could explain it but she wouldn't like the answer. She wanted to hear it anyway.

He said you're always late because you're selfish. Primping is more important, stopping by the store is more important, working a few minutes late is more important to you than anyone else's time. You think that what you need to do is more important than what anyone else needs to do. You think your time is more valuable. IT'S NOT. She had no reply.

This woman does not value you or your time. Cut her loose.

After reading Glitter's input, I'm wondering if you were to sit this woman down, and have an honest open discussion with her so she could understand your side of it; do you think anything would change. Try to approach with a calm attitude, making her see the situation from your viewpoint. Maybe you could be the voice of reason for the selfish dcm who only sees her own importance.
I'm not sure *I* could or would do it but it's just a thought and another way to approach this, especially if terming isn't the best thing for you.
Glitter took a good look inside and saw how her attitude affected others and just possibly this dcm might too.
Kudos to you Glitter for being upfront, honest and making positive changes. That's not an easy thing to do.

I dont think its right to make this mom out to be so "evil" lol!

Some people are just like that and it doesnt make her better or worse than the rest of us since we all have our issues and less than perfect qualities.

The issue I see is that Tasha and her program are simply not the right fit for her.

Tasha is like a pair of size 6 shoes and the mom needs a size 8. NOTHING wrong with a size 6 or a size 8 they just arent interchangeable.

The mom comes across as disrespectful (and she is) but from everything Tasha has posted it seems its not a personal action... Just how this mom is I guess.

I wouldn't give 3 seconds of my time trying to change her (shrinks get paid the big bucks and take years to successfully change people ).... I would just let her go.

Tasha's program isn't the right fit.

Haha. I don't think she's ''evil'' either; I just think she is totally self-involved that she thinks the world revolves around her and her schedule. When she announced that she was going to change her schedule permanently from 5 to 6 pm, I thought it was very telling that she didn't mention at all (or I'm sure take into consideration) that her DD would be here an extra hour (a 10-hour day) without any other kids, and the effect that would have on her.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to term. My only hesitancy is replacing her. I dread acclimating a new family. I really have had lousy luck this last year with new parents.

I think you are 100 percent on-target. I had a friend who was habitually late for dinner dates, movies or whatever we planned to do. So finally I told her that the subtext of her constant tardiness was her belief that her time was more important than mine. That my time didn't matter. Once I put it to her that way, she got a lot better showing up on time. Not perfect, but much better.

And sometimes, that's what they need to hear because they honestly don't realize it.

BC, while I agree with you that Tasha's program and this woman probably are not a good fit, I also believe we can sometimes be quick to suggest terming when we're on this side of the screen. I was just offering another option if terming was an issue. Quite possibly a simple conversation with this woman might be all that's needed for her eyes to be opened. And quite possibly not.

I would agree with that in some cases. For me, in this case I wouldn't. Tasha already feels walked on and disrespected. For ME, I wouldn't be able to move on from that, I just don't do that well. If Tasha can, then it may work.

I'm trying to catch up again. So to clear it up in my head, the mom originally contracted with you a 8-5 schedule? if that's the case, then what time does she get out of work and how far away does she work? What time do you have kids until? For instance I have kids from 7:30-5:15. So if she was contracted with me until 4:30, but she couldn't get here in time for whatever reason, I could change her contact to 5:15 and add $ to her contract if I chose. Iwould not however, change it to 5:30 because I don't have kids that late. Now if she needs until 6:00, but you don't take kids after 5:00 then she just obviously needs to go somewhere else.

I don't think DCM is 'evil' but she obviously didn't consider that having certain hours set and then going over them wasn't a big deal and in turn being really inconsiderate and rude. I don't know, but if I had a meeting with someone saying these are your hours, and went over how to communicate with me and how things are done according to the service I'm signing up for, you think she wouldn't be pulling all this stuff right at the beginning. She is showing blatant disregard for rules. People like this make me wonder how they even get through the day, how does she even handle her big corporate job if she can't even follow simple direction. That has me scratching my head.

She just finished her second week. Her contracted hours are from 8 to 5. Her work hours are from 8:30 to 4:30. I went over and over with her the hours she requested and if she thinks those would work. Now I am discovering that if her boss comes to her and needs something, then she'll have to stay late (according to her).
On Friday, she tried to tell me that she wants me to stay open until 6. I am not going to do it. I would be willing to stay open until 5:15 at the latest, but I don't think that would even help her. I honestly believe that if I scheduled her from 8 to 6, she'd start picking up closer to 7 and pay the late fee and not think a thing about it.

She is only caring abt herself. Term. U can tell her it's bc your schedule and hers do not accomodate each other. The lack of respect would make me term immediately.

I didn't mean to imply you specifically were labeling this mom or calling her evil.... I'm sorry if it came across that way.

I was just speaking in general about the tone of the thread.

Your posts are always great because you always try to give the poster a positive real life solution!

I just got this email from her, which I have cut and pasted here. It's all here, word-for-word, and if I weren't so livid I would laugh:

Miss Tasha,
I hope you are enjoying this lovely day. My husband and I have
been discussing the daycare situation, and we'd like to sit down with you
Monday afternoon to discuss the schedule possibilities. We think
we can make it work, e.g. Monday and Wednesday, I can pick up 6,
and/or my husband can get DD at 5:30 on Tuesday, etc. If you are
open-minded, we are convinced that we can reach an amenable
agreement.
We also discussed something that distressed me on Friday. When I
came in, DD was sitting on the couch, watching the Disney Channel.
This upset my husband greatly as we do not believe in a lot of screen-
time for DD. It is simply not appropriate. DD said that you allowed
her to watch TV one morning, also. During our interview, you said that
very rarely did you have the TV on, and agreed that it wasn't beneficial
for small children. If you would like, I can forward on a couple of
studies showing TV's detrimental effects on children. I know I was
late on Friday and I'd hate to think that you were ''punishing'' me
by allowing DD to watch TV. But this is something that we can also
discuss on Monday.
Regards,
Mrs. Snotty Parent.

OOH just the part about her problem with her dd watching television as 'you had discussed at the interview'...were her hours not discussed at the interview as well???
And then to offer sending articles about the detriments of watching too much tv.....egads.
Wish you could forward her all the replies you've gotten here.

Sounds like it is still all about her.

So, definitely not a good fit after that email. You told her 6pm wouldn't work, she emails you about 6pm times. She wants you to be open minded, but refuses to be the same. She criticizes your program and thinks she is your boss.

I don't think there is a moving forward point from here. This woman is not evil, but sheis utterly clueless.

Wow, she is too much! I would delete the cut and paste though if I were you. I feel it would be a nightmare if she discovered this here on the forum. Ps- get rid of her now! Yikes

I would email back and term effective immediately then not respond to any thing else she sends you. Good luck!

just term.

You want to teach children not adults.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

Dear DCM,
In response to yor email from today: As we discussed in our interview, your contracted hours are 8:30a to 5pm. As we discussed last week, I am unable to accomodate your schedule. As far as the child watching Disney AFTER HOURS, there really is not much to say. During daycare hours the kids get limited screen time as we discussed. It sounds like we are not going to be a fit for your needs here. Effective immediately, care is no longer offered.

Thanks,
Sickofyoazzzzzzprovider

Isn't it interesting that she heard the part of the interview about t.v. time but didn't hear the part about hours?

And I would point this out in my reply to her!!!

Not to argue with everyone, but I wouldn't mention the TV at all.

If you are going to term, just flat out say we are not a good fit and move on. No point in causing any more mess if you don't have to, it's all water under the bridge at that point.

Must be the Libra in me but I always have 2 little invisible beings, 1 whispering in each of my ears. One says exactly what you mentioned. Move forward and be professional. The other one says She needs to be taken down a notch and realize she is NOT the center of the universe. I try to listen to the 'be the bigger person' advice but dang, sometimes it's too hard.

I am probably the last one to terminate but honestly after her last email my response would be a simple...


Dear DCM,

Unfortunately at this time it appears my program is not a good fit for your family. Please consider this notice a termination of our agreement and let me know when you would like to pick up dcg's things.

Thanks

After her last email to you, I would term via email response to her. I would not have a meeting on Monday as she is demanding. No way. I'm not one to term and I think I've done it twice in 15 years, but she is outrageous. I think I would point out the fact though that her dd was watching Disney AFTER hours and it wouldn't have happened if she would have been on time.

I really want to tell her off, but I am not going to.
Just bothers me that she is going to tell people that I rely on television. For the record, I did have the television on Thursday morning. But the little girl, who's 4, wasn't even supposed to be here, and I had to blow dry my hair and get ready for the day. And I turned the TV on Friday because the toys were already put away and the children's area was completely cleaned and no way was I going to make another mess. And again, I had no idea when that woman was going to show up. At any rate, there is no way I am going to keep her on. The only question left is whether I email her tonight (and resist the urge to write her a really snippy letter) or if I send a messenger tomorrow with her DD's things and a termination letter.

I would send a short email stating she is not a good fit for your child care program and terminating services effective immediately. Further state, Your belongings will be mailed to you! Then do NOT respond to anything else she sends you!