Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>These Poor Girls
Thriftylady 02:22 PM 05-20-2016
Two of my DCG's are siblings a year and some months apart in age (6 and 7). Mom and dad are divorced, mom has a fiancee, dad has a girlfriend or wife whichever. I have never met dad, just mom. Back at Christmas time, the girls came over and told me that at their dad's at Christmas, dad got mad at them and threw away their gifts, told them he didn't love them anymore and never wanted to see them again. The girls (especially the younger one) were devestated for the time they didn't see dad. A couple of months ago, mom called dad begging him to take the girls because the younger one was having crying bouts at home and school. I of course didn't really agree with her decision considering how he had acted towards them, but not my kids.

Well mom texted me a bit ago, letting me know that dad had been arrested for running a meth lab. Not sure why she texted me, other than to vent and probably being upset the girls had been around it and were supposed to go this weekend. In fact, right now they are singing "we are going to daddies house".

Mom is going to have to deal with this over the weekend and I will probably have some fall out next week, as school finishes Wednesday. I feel so bad for these girls. Mom's fiancee won't ever watch them for some reason, their dad is a piece of work apparently. It feels like all they have is mom and I, and that isn't enough!
Reply
grandmom 02:37 PM 05-20-2016
Sad

Reply
permanentvacation 03:05 PM 05-20-2016
Those poor kids! What a horrible father!

Most of my kids only have their mother and me. A couple of my kids have no clue who their father is. The ones that do see their fathers only see them once every few months or so when the father 'feels like' seeing the child. Only two of my kids have parents that are living together! Of those, the father recently moved out for a month or so and recently moved back in.

The children will be confused and devastated for a while, but they will adjust (well, they should adjust). As time goes on, they will get used to not seeing him as much. And, as sad as it is to say, considering his situation and drug habit, it will be, of course, better/healthier for the children not to be involved with him or his lifestyle. I hope the kids weren't in the house while they were cooking meth! I'm glad their house didn't blow up with the kids in there; many meth houses literally explode as if a bomb went off inside the house. As sad as it is, I'm glad the father will be going to jail, not only to get the drug maker/dealer off of the streets, but also to keep the children safe from being around him and his friends that live that lifestyle. It's sad and actually just horrible that the children have to go through this, but if that's the life that their father chooses for himself, it's much better that the children are no where near him.

It's terribly upsetting that those children will miss out on having the experience of a loving, involved, father and won't be able to have a steady, healthy relationship with him. I will never understand parents who don't do their best to be proper parents for their children.
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 08:32 AM 05-21-2016
That's incredibly sad. I'll be praying for those children.
Reply
Silly Songs 03:40 PM 05-21-2016
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
Those poor kids! What a horrible father!

Most of my kids only have their mother and me. A couple of my kids have no clue who their father is. The ones that do see their fathers only see them once every few months or so when the father 'feels like' seeing the child. Only two of my kids have parents that are living together! Of those, the father recently moved out for a month or so and recently moved back in.

The children will be confused and devastated for a while, but they will adjust (well, they should adjust). As time goes on, they will get used to not seeing him as much. And, as sad as it is to say, considering his situation and drug habit, it will be, of course, better/healthier for the children not to be involved with him or his lifestyle. I hope the kids weren't in the house while they were cooking meth! I'm glad their house didn't blow up with the kids in there; many meth houses literally explode as if a bomb went off inside the house. As sad as it is, I'm glad the father will be going to jail, not only to get the drug maker/dealer off of the streets, but also to keep the children safe from being around him and his friends that live that lifestyle. It's sad and actually just horrible that the children have to go through this, but if that's the life that their father chooses for himself, it's much better that the children are no where near him.

It's terribly upsetting that those children will miss out on having the experience of a loving, involved, father and won't be able to have a steady, healthy relationship with him. I will never understand parents who don't do their best to be proper parents for their children.
Exactly why/ how are these woman getting pregnant with these men who don't want children in their lives ? I guess some people look at it differently, but so many without a dad is so devastating. Woman need to make better choices when meeting guys and having relations. Where is the education for that ?
Reply
Thriftylady 05:46 PM 05-21-2016
Originally Posted by Silly Songs:
Exactly why/ how are these woman getting pregnant with these men who don't want children in their lives ? I guess some people look at it differently, but so many without a dad is so devastating. Woman need to make better choices when meeting guys and having relations. Where is the education for that ?
Well I know she was married to him. Got a divorce after he got abusive. That is about all I know as she hasn't shared much more than that.
Reply
Annalee 05:57 PM 05-21-2016
Originally Posted by Silly Songs:
Exactly why/ how are these woman getting pregnant with these men who don't want children in their lives ? I guess some people look at it differently, but so many without a dad is so devastating. Woman need to make better choices when meeting guys and having relations. Where is the education for that ?
I have a cousin who had a child every time she and her ex got back together.....I fault her for that....she could have solved that issue....she now has four children and is doing her best to raise them alone! Her ex was found on the street dead this past year due to a drug overdose....she had been divorced from him for several years. There are other acquaintances I see who have so many children and are raising them alone.....contraceptives are free.....use them....parents should not bring these children into the world to deal with their bad choices.
Reply
Ariana 09:58 PM 05-21-2016
Originally Posted by Annalee:
I have a cousin who had a child every time she and her ex got back together.....I fault her for that....she could have solved that issue....she now has four children and is doing her best to raise them alone! Her ex was found on the street dead this past year due to a drug overdose....she had been divorced from him for several years. There are other acquaintances I see who have so many children and are raising them alone.....contraceptives are free.....use them....parents should not bring these children into the world to deal with their bad choices.
It is really hard to get abortions in the USA from what I have been reading so that might factor into this. We always blame the women but the man is just as responsible.
Reply
Annalee 06:20 AM 05-22-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
It is really hard to get abortions in the USA from what I have been reading so that might factor into this. We always blame the women but the man is just as responsible.
I am not talking about abortion, I am talking about using contraceptives which are free at the health dept.....
Reply
Mom2Two 07:44 PM 05-22-2016
I would say that if dad didn't want to spend time with his kids, mom should just go with that. And I wouldn't ever leave kids with a fiance who wasn't interested in them. It's so sad that their dad doesn't care about his kids, but he's a slave to drugs and that's all there is to him right now. I guess if you like the kids and are that calm, stable presence then you are a blessing to them.
Reply
Thriftylady 05:00 AM 05-23-2016
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
I would say that if dad didn't want to spend time with his kids, mom should just go with that. And I wouldn't ever leave kids with a fiance who wasn't interested in them. It's so sad that their dad doesn't care about his kids, but he's a slave to drugs and that's all there is to him right now. I guess if you like the kids and are that calm, stable presence then you are a blessing to them.
I guess I would just have a fiancee that wasn't interested in my kids. I don't understand that part of this equation.
Reply
Mom2Two 02:10 PM 05-23-2016
It's dad's fiance, right, not moms? It seems like there's a lot of abuse towards kids by a parents' new significant other.
Reply
Hunni Bee 02:43 PM 05-23-2016
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
It's dad's fiance, right, not moms? It seems like there's a lot of abuse towards kids by a parents' new significant other.
In an earlier post it said that the mom's fiance never wanted to watch the girls. It mentioned that dad had a wife or girlfriend but it didn't say anything about it.
Reply
Thriftylady 02:49 PM 05-23-2016
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
In an earlier post it said that the mom's fiance never wanted to watch the girls. It mentioned that dad had a wife or girlfriend but it didn't say anything about it.
Yeah, mom's fiancee doesn't seem to want anything to do with the girls. I am not sure why. All I can say is that I personally wouldn't want anything to do with a man that didn't love and adore my children.

Dad's girlfriend was arrested for manufacturing of meth, dad was arrested I guess for impeding the investigation. But they were both living in the same house so.....
Reply
sahm1225 06:00 PM 05-23-2016
We're the girls okay when they realized daddy wasn't picking them up? Those poor girls
Reply
Thriftylady 06:06 PM 05-23-2016
Originally Posted by sahm1225:
We're the girls okay when they realized daddy wasn't picking them up? Those poor girls
The girls haven't said anything to me yet. So I haven't opened that can of worms. I do know he has been in jail in the recent past, because the girls told me that at one time. So it won't be new news to them. But they do love him, he is their father after all. I am sure I will be dealing with it, but I am not going to be the one to bring it up. If anything, I will try to keep their minds on other things.
Reply
sleepinghart 07:45 AM 05-25-2016
Originally Posted by Silly Songs:
Exactly why/ how are these woman getting pregnant with these men who don't want children in their lives ? I guess some people look at it differently, but so many without a dad is so devastating. Woman need to make better choices when meeting guys and having relations. Where is the education for that ?
~I agree.

Originally Posted by Annalee:
I am not talking about abortion, I am talking about using contraceptives which are free at the health dept.....
~I so agree.
Reply
Tags:divorced parents, sad situation, siblings
Reply Up