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New Members - Welcome to the Daycare.com Forum!>Terminating A Friends Child..Need Help
babymonkey 12:40 PM 02-20-2013
I need help quick. I have decided to terminate dcb who happens to be my best friends child. The dcb crys all the time and the main problem is his parents. I need to come up with a way to terminate this child but try to save the friendship in the process. The parsnts seem to be oblivious to the fact that I am totally unhappy with them or their child and think I will continue to watch th child until school age (only one year old). I have made myself sick over how to do this. Any suggestions would help.
NeedaVaca 12:56 PM 02-20-2013
Is that the main reason you are terming? Because DCB is crying all day or is there more? It's going to be tricky if you want to term and also save the friendship. I'm not saying it can't be done but if she was an "easy going" type of friend you wouldn't even be concerned over this and it would already be done ya know?
You mention that they are oblivious about your being unhappy. Have you told them your concerns before and if so, how did that go? Also, do you have a contract?
You mention that they are oblivious about your being unhappy. Have you told them your concerns before and if so, how did that go? Also, do you have a contract?
babymonkey 01:34 PM 02-21-2013
Sorry,there is a lot more to the story. When I renewed my contract at the beginning of the year,the parents didn't like it and wrote me a 3 page letter stating why. They suggested that we sit down and we could write the contract together....ummm no! Also dcb has broken 2 lamps and when I asked for them to fix/replace the second one( I let the first one slide) they said dcb should have free rain to explore and if things break that's on me. When dcb is sick and I state he has to be picked up the responce isn't"how is my kid ?" But " is that a contracted reason to pick up?" Well yes your kid has puked 4 time ! This had happened more than once. I am so burnt out dealing with the parents and I don't know how to go about terming without hurting friendship .
Blackcat31 02:11 PM 02-21-2013
Originally Posted by babymonkey:
Sorry,there is a lot more to the story. When I renewed my contract at the beginning of the year,the parents didn't like it and wrote me a 3 page letter stating why. They suggested that we sit down and we could write the contract together....ummm no! Also dcb has broken 2 lamps and when I asked for them to fix/replace the second one( I let the first one slide) they said dcb should have free rain to explore and if things break that's on me. When dcb is sick and I state he has to be picked up the responce isn't"how is my kid ?" But " is that a contracted reason to pick up?" Well yes your kid has puked 4 time ! This had happened more than once. I am so burnt out dealing with the parents and I don't know how to go about terming without hurting friendship .
(((hugs)))) just for dealing with all that. Sorry,there is a lot more to the story. When I renewed my contract at the beginning of the year,the parents didn't like it and wrote me a 3 page letter stating why. They suggested that we sit down and we could write the contract together....ummm no! Also dcb has broken 2 lamps and when I asked for them to fix/replace the second one( I let the first one slide) they said dcb should have free rain to explore and if things break that's on me. When dcb is sick and I state he has to be picked up the responce isn't"how is my kid ?" But " is that a contracted reason to pick up?" Well yes your kid has puked 4 time ! This had happened more than once. I am so burnt out dealing with the parents and I don't know how to go about terming without hurting friendship .
I would write up a short letter stating you are terming simply because they require care/services you are unable to provide.
Say something like
Dear Daycare family
This letter is written notice of my intent to discontinue our child care agreement.
At this time, I feel that I am unable to provide the type of care and services that you require. I feel it is everyone's best interest that alternate care arrangements be made.
The last day I am available to care for your child is February XX, 2013.
Thank you
Provider
If they push for a reason or insist that you try and work it out, tell your friend that if she wishes to remain friends, terminating is probably the best action for now.
Stand your ground! You can do it!
NeedaVaca 03:13 PM 02-21-2013
After reading the 2nd part I was just shaking my head...this DCP doesn't seem like a very good friend! Ouch about the 3 pages regarding your contract, that right there would have told me no way can I provide care for this family. Definitely term, use the PP letter 
If she truly is a good friend she should respect your wishes.
If she truly is a good friend she should respect your wishes.
kathiemarie 04:09 PM 02-21-2013
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
After reading the 2nd part I was just shaking my head...this DCP doesn't seem like a very good friend! Ouch about the 3 pages regarding your contract, that right there would have told me no way can I provide care for this family. Definitely term, use the PP letter If she truly is a good friend she should respect your wishes.
I totally thought the same thing. This might have to be a leason learned about not doing business with friends or family.After reading the 2nd part I was just shaking my head...this DCP doesn't seem like a very good friend! Ouch about the 3 pages regarding your contract, that right there would have told me no way can I provide care for this family. Definitely term, use the PP letter
If she truly is a good friend she should respect your wishes.
Meyou 01:00 AM 02-22-2013
Oh hon, I feel for you!! I did the same thing over a year ago and although it was very hard and uncomfortable in those last 2 weeks it was so, so, so worth it. In my case I said I could no longer provide for their needs and when they demanded explanation (meanly!) I said we were on different pages regarding parenting and although I had tried to work with them it just wasn't. I gave a couple of examples since friend insisted she had no idea what I was talking about. I gave examples where she was present and incidents occurred which ended that quickly.
We're still friends but it isn't the same, I won't lie. She's badmouthed me to alot of people and I found out through several sources that they told a totally different version of events. Denial is a wonderful thing!! Haha. I am still choosing to take the high road so I say very little but I have occasionally asked those telling me her stories..."Soo...spent any time with their kids lately?"..to which I usually get an, "Oh yeah! I know what really happened!!" That's enough for me.
We had contract issues, HUGE behavior issues, payment issues, respect issues and after I put them under contract the kids were open to close everyday "to get their money's worth".
We're still friends but it isn't the same, I won't lie. She's badmouthed me to alot of people and I found out through several sources that they told a totally different version of events. Denial is a wonderful thing!! Haha. I am still choosing to take the high road so I say very little but I have occasionally asked those telling me her stories..."Soo...spent any time with their kids lately?"..to which I usually get an, "Oh yeah! I know what really happened!!" That's enough for me.
We had contract issues, HUGE behavior issues, payment issues, respect issues and after I put them under contract the kids were open to close everyday "to get their money's worth".
babymonkey 06:04 AM 02-22-2013
Thank you everyone for your support. I plan on letting them know in may since I have someone lined up for a june start. Just grin and bare it until then I suppose.
Michael 07:06 AM 02-22-2013
Sounds like they are taking advantage of your friendship. If they can't understand your situation you don't need friends that can't empathize. Unload.
EAP 06:17 PM 04-10-2013
It sounds like you have put up with way more than you should already. They are 100% taking advantage of you. Hugs.